A/N: I have struggled with the first half of this chapter quite a bit. We all have a few of those, and it's a work in progress :D
Kili didn't see Reese the next morning at breakfast. As he was walking down the hall, he saw Lady Michelle and stopped to ask her about Reese. She gave him an odd look before telling him that Reese had risen very early for breakfast. Kili then hoped Reese would join them for training again but she didn't meet them then either. After lunch, Kili saw his brother sneaking off with Janine. He wasn't surprised to see them twined around each other as they found Fili's room. In the past, Kili would likely have done the same, if not sooner.
Kili approached Lady Michelle after lunch, asking again if she'd seen Reese. She shook her head, giving him an even odder look than that morning. He decided to go for a walk through the castle. Along the way he passed an open door. He heard giggling inside, but his heart caught when he also heard Reese's voice. Returning to the doorway, he saw Reese in one of the Futurian's rooms. She was accompanied by Adam and Julie's 18 month old twins.
Reese was holding a bed sheet in her arms, which she was flinging up into the air so that it billowed down over the heads of the twins, who screamed with laughter and clawed the sheet away from their faces only to grin at her in anticipation. Reese repeated the action, gaining more and more laughter from the twins.
Kili laughed at their game, capturing the attention of all three. The twins became shy, clinging to Reese's legs as they eyed him warily. "What are you doing?" he asked her.
Reese cringed before forcing herself to smile at Kili. The sour expression didn't go unnoticed by him, but he chose to ignore it, thinking it likely had to do with the reason she was avoiding him. "I'm on laundry duty, so I'm trying to change the sheets in everyone's room. However, I also told Julie that I'd look after her twins to let her get some rest. Normally they aren't too much trouble, but they've gotten a lot busier since the last time I did this."
Kili nodded, looking confused. "You don't have servants for this?"
Reese shook her head. "No, we don't do that. Instead, we divide up all of the labour, and each person has their responsibilities. I'm usually on laundry and cooking, but everyone has their own skills like gardening, carpentry, you know."
Kili nodded, contemplating her words. "I didn't realize. We should be contributing during our stay here."
"Absolutely not," said Reese. "You're our guests. We are so pleased to have you and just want you to enjoy your stay." Kili watched as Reese bundled up the dirty sheets and tossed them towards the door while the twins still hung on her legs. He had to suppress a laugh as she tried to walk around the room while pulling a child along with each of her legs.
"Can I help you?" Kili asked suddenly. Reese was startled by the question.
"That's not necessary," she frowned. "I'm sure you have other things you'd like to do."
"There's nothing I'd like to do more," Kili said. He'd been searching for Reese for hours and wasn't going to let her get away now.
Kili moved to help Reese put the clean sheets on the bed while the twins started to play. They shortly became curious about Kili, peeking around the edge of the bed at him. "Is it okay if I play with them?" Kili asked Reese.
Reese held up her hands. "By all means, please!" She laughed despite herself. Kili fell to his knees around the corner of the bed. When the twins peeked out at him, he lunged playfully at them and growled, sending them shrieking across the room. The room filled with squeals of joy and excitement as the twins each took turns approaching Kili in hopes that he'd chase them.
Not missing an opportunity, Reese quickly finished making the bed, scooping up the dirty bedding and ushering the three from the room. Reese put the sheets in a cart in the hall. "Thank you," Reese said. Suddenly, each twin ran as fast as they could in opposite directions down the hall. Kili and Reese chased them down and met back at the door, each with a squealing twin under their arm. "How does she do it?" Reese gasped, unable to help keep herself from smiling at him. "She's got thirteen children and another one on the way!"
Kili shook his head. "I'd never been able to imagine having so many children. Dwarves rarely have more than two. I think my mother would have killed someone if she'd had more than us."
"I'd believe it," said Reese smiling. "Even now you two look like you're always searching for trouble." Kili chuckled.
Kili followed Reese to the next room where she continued her work while Kili chased the twins up and down the hall, growling and snarling as they squealed and screamed with laughter. Despite herself, Reese was grateful that he'd come along. She would never have gotten everything done at the rate she'd been going. With his help, Reese quickly got through all of the Futurian rooms, depositing the sheets in the laundry room. She turned to see that Kili was leaning against the wall holding a sleeping twin in each of his arms. "How did you get them to sleep at the same time?" she whispered. He shrugged, looking at her in bewilderment.
"Let's take them back to Julie. They're rooms are just around the corner." she whispered. "Do you want me to take one?"
Kili shook his head and followed her. Reese couldn't help admiring him as he effortlessly carried the twins to Julie's quartres. Kili's broadness in his shoulders made him able to cradle a twin in either arm. He looked completely comfortable carrying the children, and Reese imagined him carrying his own sleeping children snuggled into his broad chest. Her heart lurched slightly, and she groaned inwardly at the cliche of her attraction to him based on his apparent suitability as a father. She felt like she belonged in a cheap romance novel.
Julie let them into her room, eyeing Kili curiously, as Reese and Kili deposited the twins in their bed as they snuggled into each other. "My brother and I used to sleep like that," Kili said, gazing down at them briefly.
Reese smiled at him, leading him out into the hall and ignoring Julie's raised eyebrows as her eyes followed them. "I can't even imagine how cute you two must have been. How far apart are you in age?"
"Seven years," Kili said.
"And that would make you ..." Reese prompted.
"Seventy-seven years old."
"Hmm," Reese nodded, thinking of the difference between humans and dwarves in aging. "So how did you get to be so good with kids?"
Kili laughed, "I don't know. I haven't spent a lot of time with children. It's probably because I'm still a big child." He grinned at her cheekily, and she couldn't help laughing.
Reese knew she should end this conversation, but she was reluctant to move away from him. "Thank you so much for your help. I would never have gotten everything done." Reese hoped Kili would interpret her thanks as a sign that he should leave her alone.
"Are you finished now?" Kili asked, suddenly serious.
"Yes," said Reese, pausing.
"Good," Kili said, surprising Reese as he reached for her arm. "Let's go." Holding her arm firmly, he began to guide her down the corridor.
Reese panicked as she tried to pull her arm away. He didn't release her. She wanted to protest, but his serious demeanor and firm grip on her arm made gave her pause.
Kili lead her towards the entrance of the castle. "Where are we going?" Reese finally asked.
"Into the forest. I need to speak to you in privacy, and there is too much risk of interruption in the castle it seems."
They didn't speak again as he lead her across the bridge, not stopping until they were just inside the edge of the trees, the forest full of red orange light from the setting sun. Turning to Reese, Kili finally spoke. "Why have you been avoiding me?" he demanded, his normally warm chocolate eyes hurt as they held hers.
Reese opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "Don't tell me you haven't been. I'm no fool." She was stunned by his intensity. While she had been avoiding him, she was confused as to why it warranted this type of reaction from him.
Reese stared at him for a moment before breaking their gaze. She swallowed as she looked away, becoming aware of how close he was standing to her. Kili stood looking down at her. He'd seen something momentarily flash in her eyes before she'd looked away, making him decide what to do next. He lifted his hand to her face, tucking a finger under her chin as he turned her face to his again, forcing her to look up at him. He was close enough that he could see the gold flecks in her eyes. "Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked again, only this time his voice was low, almost a whisper. They stood like this for a moment, and he saw the answer in her gaze.
Hesitatingly briefly, Kili drew his arm around Reese's waist, pulling her to him. She didn't stop him. He slowly dipped his head to gently brush her lips with his. Kili paused to see if she was going to move away before brushing her lips again. This time he lingered and pressed more firmly against her lips. Just when he thought she wasn't going to return his kiss, Reese sighed and relaxed into his embrace.
At first their kiss was sweet, careful, and tender. Reese brought her hand to his face, stroking the stubble on his cheek, making Kili's draw his breath in sharply. She had forgotten how sensitive dwarves were to having their beards touched. She brought her other hand up and twined her arms around his neck, pressing her body into his as she tangled her hands in his hair.
Kili groaned and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She gasped at his increase in intensity and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue against hers. Reese felt her resistance break inside of her like a dam, allowing her carefully controlled desire to rush free from its confines. She drank him in hungrily, putting all of her yearning into this kiss. She tightened her hold on his hair and ravaged his mouth, taking what she desired from him. His kiss became hard and demanding, making her body ache with even greater need.
Kili dropped his hands to Reese's hips before stroking them up her abdomen. This innocent movement made something snap in Reese. She pulled back with a gasp as they separated. "No!" she said. She put her hands against his chest, pushing ineffectually against his broad chest. "No," she repeated shaking her head.
Kili didn't drop his arms until she pushed against him again, clearly wishing to be free. "I don't understand," he said, an angry tone creeping into his voice. Reese winced at his sudden harshness. Had she pushed him to this place? She hadn't meant to. "Why?" he asked. Reese shook her head pulling out of his embrace. "I want to know why," he demanded, his tone harsh. "Why do I see longing in your eyes? You kiss me thus, but push me away?"
Reese looked at him angrily now. This was becoming a pattern, her anger with him. "I'm not obligated to give you an explanation," she snapped, immediately regretting her tone.
She saw pain cross his face at her angry words. However, instead of lashing out at her he took a steadying breath and tried again. "I know you don't, but please, I only want to understand," he reached for her. "I only want to show you how much I cherish you."
His words weren't what she expected, expecting instead declarations of lust and desire. "Cherish me?" she echoed.
He nodded as he took her hand in his , and she saw more than desire in his eyes. She allowed him to pull her into his arms again. "Yes, I want to treasure you, to hold you close, to worship you." Reese was stunned. She hadn't considered that Kili may return her affection. She'd realized he desired her, but she hadn't thought that his feelings may run deeper.
She let him draw her back to him, his lips claiming hers again. "No," she gasped again, pulling away. Nothing was changed at all. If anything, matters might be worse than she feared.
Kili growled in frustration. Even the most placid dwarf's temper could be tried. "Why?" he asked again.
Reese backed away from him regret written on her face shaking her head as she slipped away. Without a word she turned and walked back to the castle, not stopping to look back. As the distance grew between them she began to run unable to get away from him quickly enough. She entered the castle gate and stopped.
Looking behind her Kili was not to be seen. She quickly turned to go towards her quarters and walked straight into Borgia. "Oomph," Reese said as she bounced off his small but wiry frame. Borgia looked at her, taking in her expression, and furrowed a brow at her as though to ask what was wrong. Reese shook her head, frustration painted on her face as tears welled in her eyes. He looked behind her for the source of her distress before looking at her again questioningly. Reese shook her head again but Borgia wasn't accepting her denial. Taking her arm he led her into the privacy of the stables where he worked. He looked at her silently, waiting. Reese sighed.
Reese told him everything that had occurred over the past three days. Borgia smirked at her stupidity in the forest when Kili had found her unarmed and unclothed. Borgia would never be caught in such a compromising situation. Reese finished her story after recounting the events that had lead her to run into Borgia in the courtyard. They stood without speaking, the sounds of the ponies and horses around them, and she waited.
Borgia appeared thoughtful. "You're being a fool," he said.
"I know!" Reese cried. "I've been so stupid to let it get this far!"
"Not what I meant," Borgia said.
Reese turned to look at him. "What?" she asked, confused.
Borgia glanced at her and shrugged, moving away to feed the horses. Reese sat staring at his back. "Do you think I'm being a fool for denying this?" she called. Borgia shrugged again as he entered one of the stalls with a bag of meal.
Reese stood in stunned silence. "So what are you saying?" she asked finally. "That I should go to him and tell him that I want to be with him? Let this happen rather than stop fighting it?"
Borgia murmured to one of the horses.
"Why would I do that?" Reese asked. "Why would I put myself in that situation?"
Borgia came out and picked up a pitchfork before going back into the stall.
Reese continued. "So you think I should stop being so defensive and stop shutting people out?" Reese asked. "Because I don't think I shut people out. I just don't want to put myself in a situation where I get hurt, you know?" She sat, biting her lip.
"Besides," Reese called again, "You're one to talk. It's not like I see you putting yourself out there. I know everyone is different and that your situation is different from mine, but I don't think you can argue that I have the right to decide what's best for me."
Borgia banged around in the stall, murmuring to the horse again before coming out and going into the next stall.
Reese crossed her arms, frustrated with his apparent opinion of her situation. "So what exactly are your thoughts here? Is it that you think I'm not living life fully or some hippy dippy crap like that? Is it one of those things where I'm supposed to accept my past knowing it could happen again but realize that I'm denying myself a full and meaningful life because I won't let myself be with the person I love because it scares me?" More banging and murmuring came from the second stall.
"Well, I don't share your point of view. You wouldn't tell me to put myself in the path of an orc pack who would kill me, so how is this different? I know how this is likely to end up, with one of us hurt and dying and in pain. And I know that you're going to say, that I wouldn't tell one of my friends to avoid love because of the possibility of being hurt, but I'm allowed to be a hypocrite if I want to, Borgia."
The conversation finished, Reese chewed her lip thoughtfully. Maybe she was being a fool, but she would rather be a safe fool than a fool in love. She went to help Borgia finish with the horses. They worked side by side in silence as the sky darkened outside before going into the castle together for a late supper.
Kili had stood in the forest watching Reese run from him. He felt angry and hurt. Reese clearly wanted him. He hadn't expected her to respond to his kiss the way she had. He had only wanted to talk to her, to try to understand why she was so determined to stay away from him. Something was stopping her from letting herself give into that desire. Thorin had warned him she might be reluctant, but Kili hadn't expected her to be so resistant to her feelings.
Kili was preoccupied during supper. He was starting to see wisdom in his uncle's warning that Reese was a complicated woman and might not be able to return Kili's feelings for her. He wondered if he should stop his pursuit of Reese. It was true that he loved her, the kind of love that burns for an eternity. But he knew that he couldn't force her to love him back. She had made it clear that despite her desires that she didn't want to have any contact with him. She'd been avoiding him for days, had become angry at him every time they were together, and had run as quickly as she could away from him in the forest today. What more evidence did he need that despite her attraction to him that she had no wish to be with him?
It wasn't uncommon for dwarves not to marry. Because there were so few female dwarves, most male dwarves remained alone for their lives. Kili knew he could do the same if his love for Reese was unrequited. His uncle may require for him to enter into an arranged marriage, which Kili had always known might happen if he did not find a partner on his own. Despite his recklessness, Kili wasn't one to avoid his duty when the time came, which included knowing one day he would be required to marry. Although he wasn't the direct heir to the throne, it was important even for second heir to do what he could to carry on the line of Durin.
Until he had met Reese, he and his brother had gone through life without a care for love. They worked hard and they bedded harder. They were always looking for enjoyment, some would say always looking for trouble, and they didn't care much where they found it. Dwarf, human, female, male. Dwarves were known for their insatiable nature, and Kili was no exception. This had all changed when he'd met Reese, but he knew that he could easily return to his previous ways.
Kili looked across the room at a particularly attractive Futurian woman who was eyeing him and blushed as his gaze caught hers. Maybe he should start right now. There wasn't a lack of willing partners, and maybe he needed to simply move forward and do his best to forget about Reese. His uncle probably wouldn't mind and would likely be glad that they could continue on their quest if their reason for delaying became unnecessary.
Kili sighed as he glanced around the table. His brother was occupied with Janine, and a new Futurian woman he hadn't met yet sat on the other side of Fili, leaning close to him to smile at Janine. The three were deeply engaged in conversation. Fili looked up and grinned at his younger brother, who raised his eyebrows at Fili. His brother was absolutely enjoying his time at the Futurian castle, and perhaps Kili should do the same. Kili glanced around the table and was surprised to see Lady Michelle deep in conversation with Bofur. It appeared even Bofur was enjoying his stay at Adelaide.
"You seem to be deep in thought," a voice said beside him.
Kili looked at Sarah, who appeared to have been watching him. "Long day. The heat with the training can be exhausting," he lied, hoping Sarah was unaware of how well dwarves handled the heat.
"You may need to do something to help you rest," she said suggestively.
Kili examined her features. He hadn't paid very much attention to her before. She was beautiful with dark skin and exotically slanted eyes. Her hair fell becomingly around her face. She was wearing a loose dress that fell to her knees. The cut of the neckline awarded him with glimpses of her breasts, which he thought was likely intentional on her part. Had he been himself the last few days, he would have bedded her the first day they'd met. "I think you may be right, Lady Sarah," Kili agreed, smiling warmly at her.
Reese woke early the next day. She'd only had a few hours of sleep, but she felt impatient to start the day. She quickly bathed in the bathhouse, the only person awake at this hour, before returning to her room and dressing in a long yellow loose dress. It was going to be another hot day, and the loose material would help to keep her cool. She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders as the morning was still chilly in the castle. She was grateful that although the summer days were hot that the mornings in the valley were cool and fresh.
Reese had been up most of the night thinking about her conversations with Borgia. Although she'd originally resisted his suggestion, she admitted to herself that she was starting to second guess her resolve to never again marry or have a family. She'd seen several Futurians move forward with their lives, and Reese knew their losses were as great as hers. Why was she so special?
Reese scrutinized what Kili had said to her in the forest, turning the word "cherish" over in her mind. The way he'd looked at her was burned into her memory. Reese was starting to think that Kili could love her as well. She told herself it didn't matter that he might love her, but she knew it mattered. She knew that the longing in her soul for him was becoming louder than her fear.
She'd finally drifted off to gain a couple hours sleep, but the idea had still been there when she'd awoken. She decided she need to talk to Kili, unsure what she was going to say but hoping the words would come to her at the time. She knew she should apologize for running away from him as she had the day before. Glancing in the mirror, she took in her appearance. The yellow dress made her look soft and feminine, flowing around her body and clinging to her breasts and hips delicately.
Leaving her quartres, Reese turned towards Kili's door just down the hall from hers and smiled as she raised her hand to knock. Reese froze when she heard voices coming from Kili's room, one male and one female. She looked around to make sure she was at the right room, sure she was at Kili's door. Listening more closely, she heard the voices again. Kili's beautiful voice was unmistakable, and the other voice was definitely female. It was definitely a female voice, and it was definitely moving towards Kili's door!
Reese panicked, looking for a place to hide. Hearing a door open behind her, she turned to see Bilbo exiting the room across from Kili's. Not wasting a moment, Reese pushed the hobbit back into his room, quietly shushing his surprised protests as she quietly shut the door behind them, leaving it open barely a crack.
"Lady Reese," Biblo began, but Reese shushed him again. He made a disgruntled noise as he crossed the room and sat down on his bed. Reese waited by the door, her eye pressed to the tiny crack giving her a clear view of the hallway.
Kili's door opened, and the woman's voice became louder. Reese's heart dropped as she saw Sarah leaving Kili's room. Their talk was friendly, and they were laughing. Reese felt even worse when she saw that Kili wore only his trousers. He held his tunic in his hand and was slowly pulling it on as he stood talking to Sarah. She heard Sarah say, "See you later," before walking down the hall as Kili closed the door after her.
Reese turned, shutting the door completely, and rested her head against the door, breathing deeply with her eyes closed. After a moment, she heard a throat clear across the room. She'd forgotten about the hobbit.
"Are you quite alright, Lady Reese?" he asked politely.
Reese looked at him. He face flushed with shame at her behaviour. Straightening her posture, she attempted to convey whatever composure she could muster. "Mr. Baggins, thank you for your politeness. I'm aware of how kind the people of the shire can be, but there is no need for you to pretend that you are not well aware that everything is not alright, considering that I forced you into your room, barged in after you without a word, and held you hostage while I spied on your neighbour across the hall."
Bilbo nodded. "I didn't want to intrude," he said.
"But it is I who has intruded, Mr. Baggins. I'm terribly sorry for invading on your privacy this way. I'll take my leave." Reese left the room quickly and shut the door behind her.
Reese didn't realize what excellent hearing hobbits had. Bilbo was completely aware of what Reese had seen in the hallway. He hadn't wanted to interfere or be impolite by prying. However it was plain, even to a hobbit, that she had been pained by what she'd witnessed.