Chapter 11 - I Promise
Tris POV
Life has been hell. It's been a week since Christina passed away. I haven't been to school or out of my room for that matter. I haven't talked to anyone except of Caleb. I have eaten yes, but that's only because Caleb told me to do so or known as forced me to do so. I am not going to tell you how everything went down with Caleb, but that's the short version. I haven't talked to anyone at school. Anyone. I think I talked to Will once or twice, but yeah, that was just get an update on when the funeral is, and things like that.
I haven't talked to Stephanie or Rose since the accident, and I know I have too; Christina even told me to take care of Rose. I feel bad about that, but I can't do anything about it. I miss Christina so so much, it's crazy.
Right now, I am in my bed, looking out the window. It's 5 PM. It doesn't feel like 5 PM though, I am pretty much just sitting here every second of every day.
Sometimes I forget that she is dead, and I think about what she is doing right now, and if I should call her to hang out or not, then I remember that I am sitting in my bed, every day, because she isn't here and I can't talk to her.
Zoe and dad, have tried to talk to me, to at least come downstairs, but I don't answer them, I just look out the window. Tobias has been here too, but like I said, I haven't talked to any of them.
I feel like I need something new. I don't know, but something that is reminding me about Christina, but what could that be? Maybe I need to change? I don't know, but I know that I am not going to be able to do anything if I am just sitting in this bed. I haven't been out of my bed since the day I came home from the hospital. I have been to the bathroom, but I haven't showered, and for someone who showers every day, this is my record. One week without showering.
I am rip from my thoughts when Caleb comes in. They have all stopped knocking, they know I won't answer them. The reason I know it's Caleb is by his voice. I don't turn my head to look at him, I just keep looking out the window.
"Tris." I hear him say, but I don't turn around.
"Your friends are downstairs. All of them." He says and I turn to look at him. If I had energy now, I would ask him 'all' my friends are downstairs, but I don't, so I don't ask. I look keep looking at him though. Not knowing what to do.
"Should I ask Four to come up?" He asks and I don't do anything. Right now, I don't know who I want to talk to, or if I do want to talk to anyone. Life right now is very complicated. He looks at me, then he walks out of my room again, closing the door after him. I turn to look back out the window. It's dark outside. I am guessing a bit cold too, it's soon Christmas, and it's cold outside. I haven't been outside for a while, so I don't know, but I am guessing.
Someone knocks on the door. It has to be one of my friends, because Caleb, Zoe, and dad knows not to knock. The person opens the door and closes it. I hear footstep coming towards me, but I don't turn around. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. That's when I turn around to be met with the same eyes as Christina, but it's not Christina, it's Rose. What is she doing her?
"Tris, you can't sit here all the time. You need to go to school. You need to eat and you defiantly need a shower." She says smiling. I actually mange to crack a smile at that. "I am kidding, you don't stink, but it looks like you at least should get up." I don't answer.
"Tris, Christina wouldn't want you be like this. You know that." She says and I know she is right. I know that I shouldn't sit here and close myself of, but that's all I feel like doing.
"I miss her." I say, which are the only words I have mange to get out for a week.
"I know, I do too, but she wouldn't want this, on you and everyone else."
"How are you?" I ask her and she sits down on my bed.
"I don't know. Every time it's dinner time, she is always in her room, so I have to shout for her to come down, and every time my mom tells me it's dinner now, I am always about to shout for to come down, but then realize that she isn't going to join us for dinner. I don't think I am ever going to be really okay, but I know that she wouldn't want this for me, she wouldn't want me to sit in my room all the time."
"I know, you are right." I tell her and she nods.
"Why don't you take a quick shower, and then I will wait for you here. Then we can go down together." She says and I nod.
I get up, take a pair of sweatpants and one of Caleb's t-shirt - that accidentally lies in my closet - and I walk to the bathroom. I take my clothes off and step into the shower, letting the warm water run over my body. It feels good. I wash my hair and wash my body, before stepping out of the shower and drying myself, before putting on the clothes I brought with me.
I walk back into my room to find Rose sitting on my bed and smiling when she sees me. I smile at her too and she stands up and walks over to me and takes my hand. Together we walk downstairs to find my friends sitting on the couch talking. Even Will is there and Stephanie. Will walks over to me and wraps his arms around me.
"Hey, how are you doing?" He asks and I pull back to look at him.
"I don't know, but better than I was." I tell him and he smiles at me. "How about you? You been to school?"
"No, but I have talked to the others, and well this is the first time out of my house so I guess that's a start, and I don't know really how I feel, I just know that I keep forgetting that she isn't here anymore and well you know." He says looking down and I bring my hand up to his shoulder.
"I do know." I tell him and he smiles at me. Stephanie walks over to us and I smile at her.
"Hi Tris." She says and I nod.
"Hello." I tell her.
"How are you?"
"Aren't I supposed to ask you that?" I ask her and she smiles at me.
"I am doing okay, but I have been better." She says and I nod.
"I don't know how I feel." I tell her and now it's her turn to nod.
Caleb comes over to us and looks at Rose.
"How did you get her to come down? I have tried all week? And Tris, did you shower?" He asks, which cause Will to laugh.
"It's called magic Caleb." Rose tells him and I smile.
"By the way Caleb, I did shower." I tell him, while shoving his shoulder.
Dad comes over to us and smiles at us.
"Do you want anything to eat? Zoe says she can make Mac'n' cheese if you want." He tells me and I nod.
"Yeah, that would be great." I tell him with a smile. He hugs me and I hug him back.
"It's good to see downstairs." He whispers to me and I smile. I release him from my hold and he walks back into the kitchen. Rose and Caleb takes me over to the couch where everyone is sitting and talking. I look around the room. They all seem to be in some kind of conversation with each other. I don't mind though; just watching them talk. It's fine by me.
I keep looking at around, until my eyes land on him. He is looking straight back at me. It's like he can see right through me, and I know I have felt this way before, it's just that, now, I don't know, things are different, I guess.
I am the first one to break eye contact, and even after I have moved from looking at him, I can still feel him looking at me. I haven't talked to Tobias since the accident happened, and I feel like so much has happened since, but in reality, nothing has happened; not in my world though, but it still feels like so much has happened.
I wake from my thoughts when someone taps my shoulder. I turn around and see Lynn standing there.
"Hey could we like talk in private after the rest have gone home or something?" She asks and I nod. I stand up and give her hug and she hugs me back. We pull away and she smiles at me. One thing I really hope is going to come out from what has happened is that Lynn and I, are going to become closer. Now, when I don't Christina here anymore, to talk to, I feel like I need someone else. Thought I probably shouldn't talk to her about Tobias, and I defiantly can't talk to him about him either (I don't even think that makes sense).
"Anyone wants Mac'n' Cheese?" My dad calls out and we all smile. We all go and sit down at the table, and surprisingly everyone mange to fit around the table. When everyone has a plate full we start eating, some people talk, while the rest just eat.
"So Tris?" Uriah says and I look up at him. "When are you going to start school?"
"I guess I am coming tomorrow." I tell him, because after what Rose told me, she is right. Christina wouldn't want me to live my life in my room. He smiles at me and I smile back at him.
"Good, school is starting to become really boring without now." He says and I smile at him.
"Are you still joining soccer?" Marlene asks and I nod.
"I might have lost my best friend, that doesn't mean I won't join the sport I love." I tell her and she laughs, with the rest of them. I think it's going to be good to start school again. Lets just hope that there is nothing from my past interfering with that.
After dinner, we decide to watch a movie. We end up watching one of Christina's favorites, Mean Girls with popcorn, chips, sodas, and all kinds of candy. I sit in between Rose and Caleb, even thought I know Tobias would probably like that I sit next him, since I haven't talked to him all day, plus all week.
When the movie is finish, everyone leaves, except Tobias and Lynn. I am sitting on the couch and Caleb has his arm around me. Zoe and Dad are in the kitchen cleaning up...I don't know what. Lynn and Tobias are standing looking at everything, but then again nothing. Cara I think is also helping Zoe and Dad.
I don't think you could even cut the tension with a knife right now. That's how - I don't know what you are going to call it.
"So Four?" Lynn starts, breaking the silence. "I was - do you mind leaving? I am going to talk to Tris." She says and I look up at her, then at Tobias, who looks at me and then her.
"I wouldn't mind talking to her either." He replies, looking at Lynn.
"Why don't Lynn and Tris go up and talk, and Four you can stay down here, and then when Lynn is down, you and Tris can talk?" Caleb suggest. I turn to look at him and give him the 'really' look.
"Or Four could just go home and I can talk to him tomorrow." I say. I know I am pushing him away right now, and I probably shouldn't be doing that, but right now, I don't know what else to do, because I don't know how to explain or talk to him right now. Christina would always guide me through rough times, but now when she isn't here, who is going to do it then?
"I think I like Caleb's idea best." Tobias says and I look at Lynn, avoiding him. I walk upstairs and I hear someone following me. I walk into my room and sit on the bed, not closing the door after me. Lynn comes in and closes the door and sits down on the couch in my room.
"So." She starts.
"So." I repeat. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask.
"Tris, I am so so sorry for what happened to -" She starts, but I cut her of.
"Lynn, I am not here to talk to you about her, you wanted to talk, and I am listening, but I swear to God, if you mention Christina once I am leaving this room and you can talk to me another time instead." I warn her and she nods. "Good."
"Okay, I want to say I am sorry everything I said to you at the soccer field and when my mom and I came that night. I am just really sorry for everything, and I want you back Tris." She starts and I look at her. "Her accident, it reminded me that we don't know what's going to happen in the future, we could have 1 day together or we can have 3 years. The future is unknown, and I guess it's that's why it's called the future, but I don't want to fight with you, I was so happy when I found out that I would see you every day, and well it meant and still means a lot to me! Tris please forgive me." She says and I know she really means it. She is right too. We don't know what the future holds for us. Who knows? All I know too, is that I wouldn't mind stopping the fighting either.
"I am sorry too! You are right, we don't know what the future holds, and I don't like fighting with you!" I tell her and she smiles at me.
"Can I hug you now?" She asks and I laugh.
"If I can hug you." I tell her and she laughs. We hug each other and I smile. It's good to have her back. That we are friends again. I love that.
"I have missed you a lot Tris." She says.
"I have missed you to Lynn." I tell her, still holding her close.
After some few minutes, we pull apart.
"I should get going home. Mom is probably waiting for me." She says and I smile. "Goodnight." She says.
"Goodnight. See you tomorrow?" I ask and she nods and I smile.
"Should I send Four up?" She asks and I shake my head.
"Okay." She says and she walks out of the room. I close the door after her and change to a pair of short shorts and a loose t-shirt I can sleep in. I then grab my IPod and sit down on my couch. I plug my ear plugs in and listen to the first song that comes on, Hurt by Christina Aguilera. I unlock my IPod and my background picture comes up. It's a picture of Christina and I, at a coffee shop laughing. I smile to myself. I remember that day so well.
Flashback...
We have been out shopping for some hours. My legs are starting to kill me, and I wouldn't mind a coffee right now.
"Hey Chris? Can we stop for a coffee or something? My legs are killing me." I tell her and she smiles at me.
"We can stop for a coffee." She says and I smile. We walk over to Starbucks and we walk in and order our coffee. She orders Caramel Coffee with whipped cream and I order a Mocha. We pay and we wait for our drinks to be done.
We get our coffee and we sit down at this island. We put our shopping bags down and look out at the shopping mall.
"So how are you and Four?" She asks and I smile.
"We are good." I tell her smiling.
"No come on, give me details." She says begging and I start laughing.
"No, sorry, but my lips are sealed." I tell her and she laughs.
"Whatever." She says and I laugh again. She takes the lid of her coffee cup and I shake my head at her. She is going to start drinking or eating the whipped cream. She picks her cup up and starts drinking, while I take a sip from my own coffee without taking the lid of. When she puts her cup down, she has whipped cream all around her mouth and some on her nose, which causes me to burst out laughing, causing me spill my drink, which cause her to her laugh. We keep laughing for sometime, just laughing and enjoying each others' company.
"What did I do that made you laugh and spill your drink?" She asks, still laughing a bit.
"You...have...whipped...cream...all...around...your...mouth!" I tell her in between laughter, she starts laughing too, but taking a tissue to wipe her mouth.
"You could have told me that earlier." She say, causing me to laugh even harder, making it harder from me stop laughing, while this time, she shakes her head.
End of Flashback...
I smile at the thought, I then realize someone is sitting next to me on the couch. I turn to find Tobias sitting next to me. I am currently listening to When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. He takes his hand whips the tears coming down my cheeks. I didn't even realize I was crying until he was trying to whip them away. It's not really working, since new tears replaces the once he whips away.
He puts his arm around me, and I lean into him, my head on his chest. His other hand goes to my knees and lifts me up, so I am sitting on his lap. He holds me like that for who knows how long. At least until my crying becomes to slow sobs instead.
"Tris?" He asks soft against my forehead.
"Hmm?" I reply, not knowing really what to say to him.
"Talk to me." He says.
"I don't know what to say." I tell him truly, because right now, I and no one can say anything that makes this situation right. "Don't leave."
"I won't. I promise." He replies and I wrap my arms around him tighter, enjoying his warmth.
"I love you." I tell him and I know he is smiling now.
"I love you too." He replies against my forehead. We sit like that, until I drift of to sleep.
A/N - Sorry for not updating in like forever! School is starting tomorrow, so hopefully, I will be able to update everyday like I used to. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews! And please review for this chapter too!
BooksLover2000 - Thanks that means a lot! I am sorry about not updating in like forever, but here is the next update, hopefully I can update tomorrow too! :)
DivergentLover4610 - I know it was sad, but I felt like I should do it, so I can work on the plot more, and I know this wasn't a soon update, please forgive me for that :)
lalalaurrrrenn - I have to let you know, that I loved, let me write that again, LOVED your review! It really meant a lot to me! Thanks for reviewing and loving this story! Means a lot!
Sarcasm-is-life - If I knew you, I would buy you ice cream, but for now, let's pretend that you got ice cream anyway! :) Nothing happens in this chapter really, just some foreshadowing, I wonder if you can figure out what I am foreshadowing :) It really means a lot when you say my writing is good! I just started writing 2 years ago or so :) I wouldn't mind having Veronica Roth sending me a thank you note, it would be nice! This wasn't a few days thought, I hope you can forgive for that! Hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Please review for this one, not that I need to ask you, you do it anyway, and I am so thankful for that! :P
Guest - I know it's so sad! I keep asking myself why Christina? Why? Even when I wrote it, but the reason is that Christina is Tris's BFF, so it just made more sense to kill Christina than Marlene or Lauren. Also, it works with the plot :) Thank you for saying it was beautiful, means a lot!
EmelyCue - Sorry!
Bootyclapasauras - Please tell me you aren't stopping reading this chapter! I love your reviews and I just hope you continue reading! PLEASE! :)
Sam - I am thinking about updating Lost, I just needs to figure out the plot first... Anyway thanks for reviewing Sammy :) Here is the next update, hope you liked it!
Alissalove - I will always respond to your reviews - when you do review, at least in this story! Anyway THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for saying you like this fanfiction and that I am a good writer!
petite-yoyo - She passed away... all alone, if you don't count the doctors and nurses...
divergeinsoccer - I am so so sorry for breaking your heart! I hope I can repair it somehow! :)
Divergentseriesfan13 - You aren't the only one who started crying it seems :) Anyway thanks a lot! Here is the next update! Tell me what you thought :)
Guest - IKR :)
A/N - Sorry for making anyone cry in the last chapter, but I felt like it need to be done - that someone had die, annoyingly it had to be Christina... Anyway, please review and tell me what pansycakes thought about this chapter :)
Also quick question: How old do pansycakes think I am?
Just wondering :)