Anonymous: "Can you do a one shot about Julian going to the Harper Avery awards?"

Sorry this took me so long, Noni. I like the ideas for the Julian word to at least feel very right before I jump in most of the time. As of right now all I really know for this is the ending…or an idea of where I want the ending to go which feels very right to me. Wanted to end on an AU to at least follow the theme of JA week for one day lol. The past few days this project has been an exercise in discipline for me though. The muse is just not cooperating much.

But new topic….Tomorrow starts April Kepner appreciation week you guys! I can't promise I'm ready or willing to go to war with her yet, but please send me April-centric ideas you have for me within any universe you please…

100 Encore, Day 11: "Never Surrender"

"Daddy, this is not comfer-a-ble at all!" Julian sighed, looking at himself in his tux in the mirror and frowning.

"Hey J? That's enough now. Any more complaining and you get a time out. You know how much I hate having to do those. It's not uncomfortable, I didn't tie it tight."

"Daddy I not complainin' please I promise but why are we doin' this?"

"It's the Harper Averys Julian. Pawpaw's award. And it's the first one since he died bud so you gotta be here to represent. He woulda loved to see this." Jackson sighed. He hated lying to his son The truth was, Harper would've hated it and complained all through preparations.

Jackson could picture it. "Jackie, why is the boy even coming? This is no place for a child, this is business. If he makes noise out of turn it will ruin the whole evening." Quintessential grandpa. If he was where April believed he was, Harper was looking down on them right now and shaking his head disapprovingly.

But without Harper, Jackson needed his son there. Because the truth was, if Harper were alive Jackson would be the one complaining just as much as Julian was. Catherine said she'd make it a slow transition, but she had no intention of staying on as head of the foundation for more than a few years, if that. She was already just handing him huge responsibility like it was nothing.

"Oh honey, just MC the damn thing. It's my right as acting president to just sit and watch from the audience like Harper did all those years," she'd said. Except, once she stepped down there was no one left to share responsibility with except April. His wife was slowly learning the ropes, but she made it clear the children would be her first priority.

So in a few short years, majority of the pressure to keep his family legacy alive would fall on Jackson. And he needed his son to be visible in the background of everything he did. Not for anyone else but himself. He needed Julian there as a reminder of why the foundation was important, of why it had to grow. It would be Julian's one day, and by the time Jackson was done there he wanted to be proud of the foundation he passed on.

He was proud of his family's work, he really was. And Jackson would never dream of following his father's footsteps and abandoning his wife and children. But to do something like get up and MC an event in front of hundreds of people and then listen to their fake chatter all night? He needed a visual reminder of why nights like this were necessary.

Julian groaned. "But why is we wearin' this?"

"Hey bud, you are treading a very thin line, alright? And if you act up tonight, me or mama will have no problem marching you right upstairs and to bed in front of hundreds of people. So get it all out of your system now, I guess. We are wearing these because mom and nana are wearing beautiful dresses tonight and we have to look worthy enough to escort them inside."

"Why?" he wrinkled his nose, still not sold.

"Because sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do for your family, J…" Jackson threw up his hands in frustration. "That's just the way it is."

He cringed as he quoted Harper. But as cold and strict as his grandfather had been, that was the man who raised him. Catherine was estranged from her family for God knows what reason, she never discussed it. Harper was Jackson's role model for a lot of things, and whether he liked it or not he already felt himself getting emotional about having to go through the night without him.

Jackson had fought with both Catherine and April about it. Catherine won her fight, of course. Jackson was hosting the entire event. And his wife had strong armed a compromise, that didn't feel like much of a compromise at all. No way Julian was going to get up on stage and hang out with daddy all night. But he would be visible at a table, and April, eight months pregnant and all, would help Jackson with the opening remarks.

That was not how Harper did things in the past. He wasn't exactly a chauvinist, he'd let his daughter-in-law practically run his foundation by herself after all. But his son had left him no choice in that matter. And he had been known to urge Catherine to look for a "support" from time-to-time. No matter who was in the background, Harper believed his foundation was largely a one-person job. He didn't believe in sharing much glory. Why would he? He was the creator of the most prestigious medical award in history, after all.

"What am I gon' be doin' again?"

"Just coloring all night. Or maybe mom brought other games. I don't know."

"Is my sister gon' come out and play?"

"Oh God I hope not, stop thinking that J! Right now!"

"Bowen wearin' a dress?"

"Mama's dress. She's in mom's belly. You know that. Look at me." Armed with hair gel, Jackson forced Julian's unruly curls into place. "Come on let's go see if mom or Nana need help with their dresses."

"Dad, why didn't grandpa Richard get ready with us?" Julian asked, chasing after his dad and his own wrist as he tried to keep up with Jackson's pace down the hall to Catherine's suite.

"Because I wanted to get ready with just you. Besides, grandpa is meeting nana anyway, he's not here yet. Please stop with the questions now J? I have to focus."

"What that mean?"

"It means I have to concentrate."

"What that means?"

"It means be quiet Julian, next time you speak without permission you get a time out! You hear me?" Jackson snapped. Julian frowned and nodded at his dad. He'd been very confused the last few weeks.

His parents had explained that his baby sister Bowen was coming very soon, and that made him very nervous. He liked having his mom and dad all to himself. But as these awards grew nearer, his dad's attitude had been changing and making Julian even more confused. Daddy was never as strict as he had been lately, and even though his mom promised it would stop once the awards were over, Julian didn't know if he believed her.

The other day he got so mad at his mommy for telling him to clean his room nicely, he threw a BuzzLightyear at her belly and daddy gave worse than a time out. He got a spanking and then mom and dad yelled all night. It was the most scared Julian had ever been. He usually told his mom and his dad everything, but that night only his mom came to tuck him in.

She said sorry and daddy hadn't dealt with the fact that Pawpaw Harper was in heaven until now, whatever that meant. She said daddy was sorry too, and that they just needed to give him time to feel sad, but he would never hurt Julian again.

The next day daddy picked him up from school and said sorry and they played basketball and then they even went to the arcade, so Julian felt better. But his dad was still scarier than usual. He really hoped he'd get back to normal soon, because Julian didn't want to live in a different house with his mama like Kelsey's mom and dad did. She told him everyday she didn't like it and he had to give her a hug.

"Oh look at my little man! Come give nana a hug!" Catherine gushed when she opened the door, immediately getting on her knees to squish her grandson's face, ballgown be damned. Julian watched his dad go over to his mom and kiss her shoulder as he zipped up her dress. Then he whispered something to her that made her giggle and her face turned white and she kissed his dad on the lips. He wondered why his dad only liked to be around mama lately, it was never like that before.

"Did you have fun getting dressed so handsome with daddy?" April came over and took her son's hand. He just nodded and looked at his feet. It was so unlike him. "Little man, what's wrong? Why aren't you talking?"

"Need 'mission….." Julian blinked, on the verge of tears. Catherine and April blinked, looking between the two Avery men in the room. Catherine was most confused of all. She knew nothing of her son's behavior at home in the weeks leading up to the awards. He had been short and extra sarcastic with her, but that was nothing she didn't expect.

"Oh for God sake Julian you can answer your mother."

"Jackson!" Both women chastised at the same time.

"Bud, you don't need permission to talk to anyone all night, OK? Forget what daddy sad." She eyed Jackson, daring him to challenge her. But he was suddenly very busy with his phone.

"Daddy's the boss." Julian mumbled.

"I got news for you J, he's not my boss. And you and Grandpa Richard are now my dates…if daddy wants to be the boss, Nana can deal with him…"

"Seriously April, don't be like that, he was…"

"Don't you start defending yourself like a child now, Jackie. If you put this much fear in your son, you deserve to handle the consequences like a man, no matter what night it is. You needed your family's support this evening, you should have thought of that before you acted however you did." Catherine whispered vexingly in her son's ear and then grabbed his arm. "Come on Averys let's go…the future of medicine awaits us."

"J, come on why don't you let me carry you bud. Because mama can't and there are a lot of people in the lobby." It was Jackson's awful attempt at an olive branch. But his son just glanced at him quickly and shook his head, looking wide-eyed at his mother for a way out.

"Come here Julian Harper, hold my hand tight OK? Don't you let go. We have to take pictures when we get to the lobby and it will be kind of crazy down there. You have to let nana or grandpa if he's there pick you up when I say so, OK? It is not up for discussion." Julian nodded.

Jackson looked away from them as they continued to make their way down to the lobby. He knew he was wrong, but he still expected April to help him at least get Julian in the mood to take pictures with his dad. She knew every single emotion that was connected to this night for him. The fact that she was so easily giving in to her son's behavior angered him even more.

"Mom, what will you an' me an' grandpa do all night?"

"Well mommy has to keep her promise and go help daddy give a speech. Then we will eat dinner and I brought a coloring book we can do. Or you can play games on my phone on quiet mode.

April looked over at her husband and shook her head in disgust. This was no place for a three-year-old. But Jackson had begged. He'd even wanted Julian by his side on stage all night before she filled him in on why that was never going to happen any time in the next 15 years.

Jackson had insisted he needed Julian there. His son was his best friend, after all. But then as preparations for the event got underway, he'd begun to grieve Harper for the first time, and was starting to turn into the man, April guessed. He'd grown cold and a little bit resentful of Julian. He started disciplining in ways April never agreed on, never imagined she'd have to argue with him about. And now, on the very night Jackson needed his son so desperately, he'd put so much fear in her little boy.

She was mostly angry at herself for letting it happen. Jackson had been on edge all day, but insisted the plans for getting ready stayed the same. She should have insisted the opposite.

Honestly, she was worried about Jackson. She trusted this was just a phase. She'd never seen him grieve Harper after all. It must be difficult to essentially help run an even named for the man who raised you when you haven't yet accepted his death. Still, she wanted this night to go well for him so he could heal and move on in time to welcome their baby girl. Yet, she was watching it turn into a disaster before it had even begun.

"What's fer dinner, mama?"

"I don't know. I think daddy ordered it special for us because everyone else gets steak…mama doesn't eat that when she's baking babies."

"Oh," Julian pouted, not about to ask his father anything.

"A cheeseburger, and pasta with chicken for mama." Jackson answered, eyes straight ahead. They were all a few feet from the press line.

Suddenly Julian burst into tears. "I don't want that! I-I-I want chicken fingies!" Jackson panicked, yanking his son from his wife's grip and away from the cameras as quickly as possible. April angrily stormed behind. Always one to keep up appearances, Catherine trudged on to the press line. Her heart ached a bit for both of the boys, but this was not her fight.

"Hey! You stop this right now you understand me? You were not raised to behave this way in public. You are representing your family tonight and will act like it an Avery, young man! Or you will go straight to bed with no dinner at all, is that what you want?" Julian shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "Alright then stop crying right now and let's go!"

"Hey little man, look who's here…grandpa! Why don't you go with him and I will meet you inside." April plastered on a huge fake smile and nudged her son toward his grandfather.

"April…" Jackson started, but she cut him off. If they weren't in public, if this weren't the Harper Avery's..she thought she might slap him.

"Was that the speech he gave to you ever time you acted like a typical three-year old?" April crossed her arms. She might as well have bared her teeth, too. Jackson looked away. "You have been acting disgusting for the past few weeks and I have let it slide because I know it's grief but let me make one thing clear to you….this…" she waved her hands toward him in disgust. "This ends tonight. I didn't marry Harper Avery, I married Jackson Avery. a man who has worked his whole life, from what he's told me….to be his own man. So start being him Jackson! You promised me you'd never be like the men who have such little claim to having raised you! Threats? That's not who you are! That's them! I get that he was out of line when he threw the toys the other night and I get that you were scared for the baby but physical discipline? That's them! He's just been confused because his daddy's turned into a monster and he's about to have a baby sister and pissing me off is not good for her Jackson so….deal with yourself because I have no idea who you are right now!"

"Ok, you're right…"

April blinked, not used to him giving in so easily. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"You put us through weeks of this just to…"

"I didn't do it on purpose April. But I realize now that you've said something I've gone too far. Now is not the time at all but I will talk to Julian later or tomorrow and fix it."

"Stay away from him, he's not coming back out for pictures. It shouldn't have been part of the deal. He shouldn't even be here."

"Fine."

"Don't kiss me on the press line. I'm mad at you."

"Ok."

"My son wants chicken fingers for dinner. Make it happen."

"Fine."

"It wouldn't be right to end the night without a few words about my grandfather, the late Harper Avery," April gasped from her seat.

The night had gone pretty smoothly after the incident in the lobby, all things considered. She had helped Jackson with opening remarks and he did fine the rest of the night. It was only really explaining the research projects and why they were important to the future of medicine and then announcing the winner. She caught him looking to their table for support a few times and she really did try to give it, but she was busy entertaining Julian all night. Little man was wide awake, Pjs be damned.

April was feeling better about things, and so was Julian. Not only did Jackson send get his son's dinner changed last minute, he sent out a mint chocolate chip sundae for little man, and a peanut butter one for April, because he knew that was the craving she was trying hard not to give in to too much lately. The ice cream didn't fix everything for either of them, but April was proud of the start. She was beginning to recognize the man she married again.

"What mama?" Julian whispered from his spot next to her, pulling her from her thoughts.

"I didn't know this part was happening. I'm kind of worried for daddy." But the crowd was applauding. April supposed they'd been waiting for this. If this was any other medical family she supposed this speech was expected, almost easy to give. Well, maybe not for Meredith Grey…

But this wasn't about the Greys. This was about the Averys. And what little Jackson had told April of their history had been painful. That was even clearer from Jackson's behavior tonight.

"My grandfather was a proud man, with high expectations. Honestly? He didn't even expect me to meet them at first." The crowd laughed, but April felt a lump in her throat. "I had to earn my place, maybe not in my family, but definitely within their medical empire. But I will be forever grateful for all the ways my grandfather pushed me to make sure i was worthy of the name Dr. Jackson Avery. Because once you've earned your place here, where I am, on this stage…" Jackson looked away quickly. April thought she saw him choking up.

"Excuse me," he hastily put down the microphone and turned away from the crowd, trying to compose himself. But April guessed he was losing that battle.

Had Catherine been the first to bolt out of her seat she would have made some hasty, funny remark about Harper before abruptly ending the night. Had it been Richard, he would have tried to give his own version of Jackson's speech, honoring the man's memory as best he could. Had April enough energy to waddle up on to the stage she would have just said something like. "We all loved Harper so very much, goodnight," before leading her husband off the stage.

But none of them were first. The first person to run to Jackson was his son. "Julian, baby…." April tried, but they were very close to the stage, and her little boy could run when he wanted to. He was already on stage.

"It's OK, let it happen," Catherine whispered, guiding her daughter-in-law back to her seat. She was getting too old to care what Harper would consider proper these days. And she'd always wanted people to understand that as scientifically minded as her family was, they had heart. Metaphorical and literal heart. People seemed to forget that.

Julian tapped his father's leg. "Daddy, finish tellin' people the story…you can do it!"

Jackson couldn't help but smile down at little man, so serious in his cookie monster pajamas. He picked him up. "Bud, daddy is so, so sorry I…"

Julian wiped a stray tear from his father's eyes. "It's OK, daddy. You have to finish you story, even if you sad 'acause pawpaw sayed 'never sur-ed-er.' Means don't give up when you sad."

"Never surrender? How do you know that?"

"You telled me pawpaw sayed that to me two times he seed me." Harper was horrible with children. "You gotta go finish dad!"

Jackson took a deep breath and turned around to face the crowd again. The room bust into applause and Julian was so proud he kissed his dad's cheek, sending flashbulbs flying.

"….I'm not here because of my name alone." Jackson picked up where he left off, cookie monster in his arms. "I'm standing here having learned from the best what it takes to be a doctor. Determination, hard work, heart…." He looked at Julian and smiled. "…And something my son just reminded me of a minute ago…The guts never to surrender, no matter what impossibilities the body seems to throw at you. My family and I plan to continue awarding doctors who don't surrender, and therefore dare to advance medicine, for years to come with the Harper Avery award in my grandfather's honor. Thank you and goodnight!"

The room burst with applause and Julian giggled with glee as his daddy walked offstage carrying him. "I love you more than anyone J…" Jackson whispered to his son.

"Love you more than ice cream I had afore dad. Ad that was the best!"

Jackson laughed and took a beaming April's arm, and together they led everyone out of the room. April had never been more proud to be Jackson Avery's wife. Harper may have helped raise a fine doctor. But Jackson had taught himself how to be a good father.

*AN: Yikes I cut this close but hit publish at like 11:57 my time. It killed me to go slightly more angsty in Julian's world than normal. But…I always write the children very young so these Harper Avery Award prompts are interesting but hard to do. I imagine Jackson struggles A LOT with HA related stuff…that's why my HAA stories are always filled with angst. It's also hard to know where to place a child in all of that. Parts of it were rushed but I hope this came out alright. I think I told the story I wanted to tell.