John was utterly bemused. He had spent the day watching the events unfold between his friends. It felt like his life was a farce. He had just sat down with a nice cup of tea and a book when Sherlock waltzed in, nearly hitting him in the face with a box from the morgue with something rolling around in it.

"Sherlock!"

"What?" Sherlock looked round, acknowledging his flat mate.

"I just got comfy! I thought you'd be out for a while, way you rushed out."

"Oh I was just getting some fingers from Molly. She's so helpful."

"Right." so he thought, let's go over this. Molly and Mycroft have spent the day on a date; Mycroft has told his mother that Sherlock and I are a couple and that we are now going to see her in two days as a couple because Sherlock didn't want to disappoint her; in the meantime Sherlock is desperately trying to assassinate Mycroft's love life while in the meantime trying not to hurt Molly. Which apparently has something to do with fingers... Oh, and Molly and Mycroft think that Sherlock doesn't know about them when he does. Although I'm sure Mycroft knows, he knows bloody everything. And from the conversation I've had with Molly the two of them are planning something to get back at Sherlock. Frankly fully deserved, the man's a prick. It dawned on John that he was probably the only one who knew everything that was going on. Defiantly a farce.

"Sherlock?"

"Yes John?" Sherlock looked up from the table where had lined up the fingers on a tray, hair scraped back by his goggles that were acting as a hair band. John laughed.

"what?"

"Nothing Sherlock. What should I wear to your mothers?"

"What should you wear?"

"Yes, what should I wear?"

Sherlock stood up properly and faced him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, surprisingly enough, despite the fact that I have been taken home to parents a few times, it's never been by my flat mate who happens to be a sociopathic mummy's boy."

"I am not a mummy's boy! And I presumed that as the more experienced in this subject that you'd be fine with picking out an outfit."

John pointed his mug at him. "One, yes you are a mummy's boy - we wouldn't be doing this if you weren't - and Two, I don't know what your mother likes and I always ask my girlfriends what to wear and how to behave when I meet their parents."

"Just be your adorable self." Sherlock said offhandedly, leaning back over his fingers.

John stilled and gave him a sideways glance.

"That's what my girlfriends always said."

Sherlock froze. Shit shit shit shit. He looked out of the corner of his eye at John Say something you idiot!

"Yes, your adorable self." He pretended to carry on with his experiment, "You're the 'boy next door' so I have been told. Apparently perfect for taking home to mother. She'll love you. Just be yourself."

"And tell her we're not a couple?"

Sherlock spun round, "No! Defiantly not, you'll upset her so much. Please John I'm begging you don't tell her!"

John looked like a startled rabbit. "Right. You need to explain this thing. You've never cared what people think before."

"I've always disappointed Mummy. Always. Mycroft's been the prodigal son and I've been the one kept upstairs at parties and not allowed out. Now I'm the one that made her happy. Please John." He pouted again.

"Damn you and that pout! Fine, but we can't keep this up forever. What would happen if the yard found out?"

"Hilarity would ensue with us being the butt of the joke?"

John sighed. "Probably. You know, it would probably be easier if we were a couple. Everyone else thinks we are."

Sherlock wasn't sure what to do. Should he be happy that John felt this way? Should he tell him he felt the same?

"Sherlock? Sherlock it was a joke."

"What? Oh. Right. Yes. Haha."

"You looked like you were about to pass out. Should of taken a picture. You are funny sometimes." And so, shaking his head with his tea and book, he headed up the stairs. Leaving Sherlock feeling incredibly stupid.

I wonder if John does dell the same way? you will just have to find out. I think we'll end up at Mummy's in the next couple of chapters. I'd love to know what you think he should wear to impress her.