Hey there. Here's the new chapter for you, I hope you'll enjoy it. I can't even say how much I love you all for your support, you guys are amazing. Thanks to my beta Rubyhair for checking this for me (and for you as well. :))
Also, as you may have figured out, this chapter is little slashy, but more for your imagination than in real. :)
Enjoy and leave me a review please. :)
Spock´s eyes widened. If he didn´t know better, he would say he was frightened. However, he was a Vulcan and Vulcan's found fear illogical and therefore he refused to admit he really felt it. Despite his refusal to admit his fear he swore that was exactly his sentiment. Spock didn´t agree with the statement that fear is illogical. Certainly fear could be detrimental when it was so strong that it paralyzed but it did serve a purpose in all species with the flight or fight response by dumping adrenaline into the system when one was in trouble, which, at that moment, seemed to be the case.
He was pinned to bed by James Tiberius Kirk who wasn´t completely himself. Spock couldn´t say he was pinned to bed by Khan either – Khan was left in his cryotube on Earth millions of years away. It was a quite an illogical situation; they both held him in place and yet neither of them was to blame because they were both too far away. It didn´t make sense but Spock wasn´t in condition to care.
Jim, or whoever was possessing his body, – pressed his lips against Spock´s and after while forced him to open his mouth. As Jim´s tongue met Spock´s, there were a pack of emotions rising up in the Vulcan´s stomach. He was now without doubts scared but he could also feel something new burning inside of him. Something he didn´t dare to name because it was too strong for him to accept it.
Kirk was kissing him roughly with passion and impatience. Spock tried to move his arms but Jim was holding them too tight. He was vulnerable, Jim´s puppet and toy; and even though he was as frustrated as a Vulcan can be and even more, he couldn´t do anything about it. Well, he could try to…yes, bite Jim´s tongue in attempt to wake the real Kirk from the depth of the body that kept him as a prisoner. He could. However, before he dared to do it, Jim´s lips left his. Spock was very aware of their every move even though he wasn´t able to see Kirk´s face. Jim was planting one kiss after another, making his way to Spock´s neck. The half Vulcan tried to struggle but it was as useful as carrying water in a broken bucket.
"Don´t fight, Mr. Spock." Jim pulled away and looked hard at Spock who watched him in awe. This was not Jim, Spock had to remind himself. He felt embarrassment as he realised how much he wanted the real Jim to look at him like this perverse version of him did. "I don´t like naughty boys. Naughty boys need to learn how to behave properly and I´m not a patient teacher. You´d better be good."
Spock groaned. He felt terrible. He had awakened this in Jim by showing him affection and he was unsure what to do. His body was betraying him by increasing heart beat and filling his pants, because Jim was clutching him in deadly grip.
"We´re losing words, aren´t we? Oh, that´s sweet." Jim smiled but there was no joy in it. It scared Spock even more to see Kirk´s face flushed with lust, dark circles underlining his tiredness from nightmares of previous nights. Usually, Jim was handsome, sweet with his bright eyes but now he was beautiful in a very strange way; he was different, scary and yet so attractive Spock had to bit his lip not to give up to him.
"You´re such a teaser, Mr Spock," Jim said in surprise. "I almost believed you really didn´t want me."
"I do not wish to participate in any of your personal ways to satisfy your need to relieve sexual tension within your body," Spock murmured.
Jim didn´t silence him as he had firstly intended to. He watched him with desire and interest. "It doesn´t matter. We have plenty of time. You´ll grow to want me to have sex with you. I assure you, one day you will beg me to fuck you," Jim purred and brought Spock´s hands between their chests. He simply placed them on Spock´s breast and laid down on them again. Spock tried to free himself but he didn´t succeed.
"You still have fight in you? That´s not good. We will have to do without some fun when you obviously need more education." Jim leant down and caught Spock´s lower lip between his teeth. Spock didn´t struggle and yet he felt sharp pain in it. He shifted uncomfortably as he realised it just heated him up.
"Sh, sh, don´t move. I´m teaching." Jim whispered and licked Spock´s lip, swallowing the tiny drop of green blood that had occurred after Kirk had bit Spock´s mouth. It tasted strange, not like human blood and yet, Jim felt he couldn't get enough of it.
He placed soft kisses on Spock´s cheeks, only gentle ones. Spock felt love soaking into his skin, he felt himself full of Jim´s love; nevertheless most of it was just animal lust, unlike what Spock had felt from Jim before.
Kirk´s hands gently rolled Spock´s face so he didn´t look at Jim. For a while he couldn´t feel Jim´s lips or fingers and he was a bit nervous. He wanted to turn his head to look around, but warm hands stopped him; Spock closed his eyes in anticipation of pain. Instead, soft fingertips began to draw circles on Spock´s neck; the half Vulcan felt goosebumps all over his body despite the temperature was normal if not even hot.
"You have such a beautiful, soft skin, Mr. Spock. I´ve always wanted to touch you," Jim whispered into his ear, voice full of desire. Spock closed his eyes more tightly as he felt so many emotions flowing into him through Jim´s fingers. The place where their skins touched seemed to sparkle, at least Spock felt an odd mixture of feelings there.
"And I've always wanted to try this. Are your ears erogenous? Or are they pointy just to attract others? Either way, it definitely worked on me." Jim murmured, his hot breath tickling on Spock´s neck. The Vulcan didn´t think it was necessary to tell Jim his ears were pointy just to make his hearing better. Moreover, he didn´t really know. Maybe they were erogenous or attractive; he had never thought about it before. He didn´t know if it was attractive, he´d never considered himself to be very attractive – not that he thought about it too much – and he´d spent too much of his life away from Vulcan so he hadn´t felt any need to do any research concerning attractiveness of Vulcan ears. He simply accepted them, there wasn´t anything to do if a Vulcan didn´t like his ears – however it was stupid. Why should a Vulcan care about his looks? As far as he was healthy, clean and dressed properly, there wasn´t real need to care for something like that. Vulcans didn´t choose their partners because of what they looked like.
Spock almost yelped as he felt Jim´s teeth on his ear. That was weird. Why would anyone want to lick his ear? And yet it was happening. As he allowed the sensation to enter his brain, he found out it wasn´t as unpleasant as he had thought somebody biting some part of his body would be. On the contrary, he found it to be a very enjoyable experience.
No! It made him shiver because these weren´t the thoughts he´d wanted to have in that situation. He had to concentrate to get away from Kirk before he could do something he would regret in the future; Spock felt responsible for that as Jim wasn´t in any condition to decide what to do.
Spock laid still for a while, relaxing as much as possible. He hoped that if he made Kirk believe he was submitting, he might lose concentration and let Spock slip away. The Vulcan couldn´t understand it. Jim had been barely able to breathe and in the very next moment he had been able keep a Vulcan from moving. No human should be able to hold a Vulcan still; and surely not the one who had been unable to sit up.
"Jim. I must insist on you letting me go. You are badly injured and you should not exhaust yourself," Spock said quickly and at the same time, tried to move Jim. He wanted to move his legs, to kick Jim, however Spock he found himself unable to cause more damage to his thigh. Jim moved from Spock´s ear, leaving his saliva on the tip of it. The Vulcan fought the wish to plead with Jim to wipe it away.
"Don´t worry about me, Mr. Spock. I can handle my small scratches as well as you. I appreciate your worries but they are very redundant." Jim moved a bit farther from Spock, watching eyes of his victim.
"Please, Jim. Come back, this is not you. You would regret your actions when you regain control over your mind. Please. I do not want you to be hurt this way." Spock whispered, eyes wide and full of concern. If it had truly been Jim, he would never have wanted to do anything against Spock´s will. But this was not Jim, he had to remind himself.
"I assure you I´m very aware of myself," Jim hissed, "Are you scared, Spock? Tell me. The always unbeatable, strong, emotionless Vulcan, being trapped by only a human. Is it frustrating? Does it hurt your Vulcan non-pride?" Kirk leant on Spock´s chest again. They stared at each other for a long time; dark eyes pleading the blue ones to open into a single mind. It was useless, Spock only managed to make Jim grin at him.
"You´re a very interesting person. You try to convince me you don´t want this, but even Vulcans don´t have control of everything, do they?" Kirk took Spock´s lower lip between his teeth and bit it, playfully, gently.
"Or is it just you? Is it that human part in you that makes you weak? Is it your human part that lets me know you can´t deny that you are attracted to me, that you want me?" Jim´s tongue demanded entry into Spock´s mouth that was hesitatingly granted. Spock knew he was losing; was defeated by this strange creature that took over his Captain. He hated himself as much as his Vulcan mind allowed him to. He should help his Captain – his friend – to get back to power and instead he just encouraged what was killing Jim. Spock hoped not literally.
"Talk to me, Spock. I want to know everything about you. Why do you resist me? I just want to get to know you, I want to be with you. We both want it, don´t we? Why don´t you submit to your wishes?" Jim was breathing into Spock´s mouth, silently, alluringly. The Vulcan felt dizzy; Jim´s speech was so right, so logical. Why shouldn´t he? He wanted Jim, he has wanted him for quite a long time by now. Why did he struggle?
"You know we are meant for each other. You have to feel it, with your Vulcan senses. You have to know keeping me away from you is illogical. You may lie to yourself, you can pretend, but you know I´m right." Kirk leant on his left arm and fingertips of his right hand brushed Spock´s delicate eyebrows. "And your body knows it as well. Admit it, Spock. You want me."
"It is not relevant whether I feel attracted to you, Captain, sexually or anyhow else. You are injured and you should rest." Spock swallowed as Kirk´s index finger trailed on the line of his jaw.
"And besides, I don´t need rest. I´m perfectly fine, thanks for asking. I want to be with you right now." Jim grinned and stopped his finger on Spock´s chin. "And I´m glad you accepted you want me. It´ll be much easier for you once you give up to what you want."
"I have said no such thing," Spock countered.
"But you haven´t said otherwise. And since I can choose how to interpret your answer, I think I heard you say yes. Moreover, your body is not really helping you in your silly attempt to lie to me." Kirk placed his finger on Spock´s lips as he tried to say something.
"Shh, it´s alright. I don´t mind that you lost your Vulcan control, Spock. You shouldn´t want to be a Vulcan all the time. You´re a human as well, you can show something. I´m not offended that you have an erection, Spock." Jim smirked as he saw green tint on Spock´s pale cheeks. He moved so he was lying on his forearms placed on both sides of Spock´s head.
"It pleases me, you know. It´s not something to be ashamed of. It happens. Speaking of this…" Kirk had moved quickly before Spock could stop him. He knelt up, holding Spock´s shoulders firmly. The Vulcan´s eyes followed him with fear. Jim shouldn´t even move his leg, let alone kneeling on it. Spock opened his mouth to say so aloud, but he was stopped. He didn´t get time to talk because right in that moment, Kirk´s right hand began to move down his chest and stomach, towards the most intimate part of his body. Spock felt it even more and he tried to fight but he couldn´t. He did want that. He wanted Jim to touch him, to make him feel loved. However, he wanted his Jim to be the one, not this strange, animal Kirk.
"I can release the tension. You know that, don´t you? And you want me to. Don´t try to deny it, I see your face. It´s alright, you don´t have to feel guilty or anything, you´ll pay your debt soon." Kirk´s long fingers unbuttoned Spock´s pants easily, the zipper right behind. Spock took a deep breath and his heart began to beat even faster. Jim´s hand followed the line of Spock´s underwear, fingers tenderly touching the skin right above the hem. Spock closed his eyes to fight the image of Jim´s face from his mind. He knew the touch was bad enough for his concentration but the fact those fingers were Jim´s, that he was captured by Jim, that the tension he felt in his boxers was for Jim put the whole situation on a completely new level. Spock had known about his attraction to his Captain but he meant to hide it forever. But he was weaker than he thought he was.
"Do you have your name on your briefs, Spock?" Kirk rolled the hem down, exposing bigger part of Spock´s body. "Do you put your name on everything you claim, Spock?"
The sound Kirk got as a reply was very different from what he usually heard from his First Officer. He smirked as he saw Spock´s expression. Yes, there was restraint but he knew Spock would give up soon. There wasn´t anything that would stop him from tying Spock to him.
"Where are you, hobgoblin?! I don´t have all my day for ya, I have work to do. How long do you think I will-What the fuck?!" Spock´s eyes flew open quicker than he thought was possible. He wasn´t wrong; it was really Doctor McCoy, staring at them. Spock used that small moment of surprise to shake Kirk off himself. He stood up immediately, fixing his clothes as though nothing had just happened.
Kirk stared at him for a while before turning to growl at Bones. Leonard gazed at his friend who was kneeling on bed, suddenly very healthy and strong. Jim almost closed his eyes as he watched the Doctor through his eyelashes. His lips were shut tightly, pressed together to form a thin line.
"Get out of here, Bones," He barked at the doctor who remained still because of shock. "Now. This is between me and Spock. Get out!"
"What the hell is going on?! Is this some kind of stupid prank or what?!" Bones yelled at Jim. When he saw Spock´s expression, he understood the situation was far more serious than he thought. Quickly, he reached for a hypo but he found out he didn´t have any.
"It´s none of your business." Kirk growled. Before he could add something more to his speech, Spock had regained awareness of his surroundings. He moved very fast and before he realised what he was doing, his fingers were clutching Jim´s nerve pinched body.
Bones glared at the Vulcan over unconscious form of his best friend. It took him a little while to remember his duties as a medical officer. He wanted to ask Spock to help him turn Jim on his back, but when he saw the Vulcan´s face, he rather did it himself. Damnit, now I have two patients instead of one. I really should ask for more money. He thought to himself as he turned Jim´s body around. He thought Spock would come closer to inspect Jim´s wounds with him, but it didn´t happen. Instead Spock stood exactly on the spot he had been a minute ago, staring blankly in front of himself. McCoy doubted he had any idea of where he was.
Bones decided to check Jim before trying to understand Spock´s problem. He pulled Jim´s hospital gown up to see the injury on his thigh. Or better say, what had once been an injury. He ran his fingers across the healed flesh. Only this morning the wound was opened. He looked up to call Spock to look at it, but he noticed an almost painful expression on his face. Spock had closed his eyes and his breathing was visibly accelerated. McCoy gave Jim one last look, deciding he was out of danger, and moved to find out what was wrong with Spock.
"Spock? Can you hear me Initially he thought to touch Spock reassuringly but after thinking for a minute of how strong he was, thought better of it and backed out of his personal space, and waited. He waited patiently for five minutes but didn't get any reply; saw no movement what-so-ever, except breathing and blinking.
So, he decided to try again, "Spock. Please. I promise I won´t ask you anything. Just let me know you´re okay." Bones felt strange as he talked to Spock this way. Their usual conversation consisted of Spock saying something in his Vulcan way and Bones grumbling, incidentally adding some of his favourite nicknames he´d given Spock. This was… just damn strange. The few times Spock had been his patient before usually required only physical attention and there was no need to change their usual way of talking to each other. Bones complained that Vulcan´s had 'stupid anatomy' and he was‚ a doctor, not a discoverer of new species' to what Spock responded with all his logic and arguments what usually angered Bones even more. It was pleasant, normal and McCoy secretly enjoyed this banter; not that he would admit it. Spock was very comfortable with staying emotionless about it.
But this was something different. Bones knew something was obviously wrong. Spock was either suffering from some serious disease, or he was only pretending so and that might have alarmed McCoy even more. If Spock was up to something, he was definitely ill.
"Okay, I´m worried now. I´ll sign any piece of paper you´ll give me to confirm I was afraid you were gonna die. But wake the fuck up, hobgoblin!" Bones didn´t understand what was going on and it made him angry. He preferred to be in control of things, especially of what was going on in his Medbay.
"Damn you. I´m gonna touch you now, so if you don´t want me to because of that Vulcan stuff, you´d better give a fuck now." Leonard was aware of Spock´s height and superior strength, but he was a fucking doctor, he had to help him if he was really ill. Even though he didn´t look like that only minutes ago. Bones had to close his eyes to fight that memory. He knew this was going to scare him for some time – the image of Jim prepared to dive into Spock's pants for blow job; Spock´s obviously positive reaction to it and the absurdity of the fact it had happened in McCoy´s Sickbay when he had assumed Jim was unconscious.
"Well then, you asked for it. Crap, this is weird. You know, if you punch me in the face now, I´m gonna write some serious report about you." Leonard took a step towards Spock, waiting for any sign of movement from the Vulcan. The last thing he wanted was Spock smashing him with bare hands. But nothing happened. He hadn´t dared to touch Spock yet, but he was surely closer to Spock than he normally was or wanted to be.
He ran his tricorder along Spock´s body, trying to determine if there was any internal injury caused even though he doubted it. Spock seemed to be physically alright, apart from excessive breathing and increased heart rate. It was weird – the Vulcan stood still as if he was in some sort of hibernation and yet his vital functions were too evident to support that kind of theory. Bones ended his scan to find nothing wrong with the Vulcan. He frowned as he murmured something about dumb captains and weird Vulcans.
"What´s the matter with you, Spock?" He asked absent-mindedly as he tried to think of a less dangerous way to wake the Vulcan up then touching him. After a while he admitted that if there was a way, he couldn´t see it. With sigh and annoyed muttering that he should have never gone to Starfleet, he reached his hand and placed it on Spock´s chest, on the place where humans had heart.
Spock jerked away, eyes opening quickly. Bones saw pure panic on his face that surprised him; he had never expected to see such an expression related to a Vulcan. But it was there and he could not ignore it even when Spock pushed it away and stared at him, eyes unseeing.
"Spock. Are you in there?" Bones asked carefully, not willing to get hurt.
"Affirmative." Came the quiet, shaken response.
"Do you want to talk?" Bones felt weird. However, Spock needed medical help now and he was the one providing so aboard the Enterprise. Of course, there were some other people, but McCoy was sure this was a delicate thing and should be treated appropriately, especially with Spock running the ship now. Damn it. Captain is a mess and First officer just freaked out. The best ship Starfleet has, indeed.
"Negative," Spock stared blankly at Bones who refused to think the former saw him.
"Whatever weird this seems, I order you to go to bed. Fuck, Spock, you can´t go to work like this. You´d scare everybody." McCoy shrugged as he felt uneasy. "Hell, this is weird. But you really look like shit. Just go to your room and do that Vulcan yoga or whatever you do to calm down. You need that."
"Affirmative," Spock mumbled again. Leonard´s eyebrows moved up his forehead and as he watched the Vulcan turn around with a blind gaze and walk away.