I apologize for the wall of text or however this may turn out, has been very mean to me lately! :s It took me forever to get this to come out even remotely readable. Hopefully it won't steal my formatting again, I reallllllllllllly love this chapter. If you can read this, by all means, delve in…

Oh yeah you call yourself my friend?

Your back is breaking

I guess we'll find out in the end

What's for the taking

He's not listening, he's not listening…

If he listened to your heart he would hear it saying

I want, I want, I want my baby back…

---

Shadow's POV

I guess I had consumed more alcohol than I'd assumed, because somehow, it went from one extreme to the other without me even realizing it had. One moment Amy was linked with my arm, slightly cradled in, and I was enjoying that gloating feeling of her leaving on my arm- not his. I was still remembering that expression on his face, when he reached for her- evidently he'd had enough as well, his abashed tradition for expressing his emotions dissolved before everyone. How humiliating for him, to be exposed and losing, all at once…

Suddenly, a mournful, ripping sob tore through the silent night air. It surprised me so much I actually jumped, and wheeled around to find the source of such desperate, painful cries.
It was at that moment I realized Amy was no longer in my arms.
That scared the shit out of me, because now would be a very bad time for her to get abducted. But my search for her didn't last long- in the silhouette of the night, the stars barely outlined her form, crumpled face first into one of her arms against a brick wall.
Amy was absolutely bawling, her frame quaking with a violence. I could hear each tear fall magnified, the hot summer pavement dry and unyielding to them even so in the cool night
air.

I really didn't have to ask.

I wasn't confused about her tears.

I was guilty.

The tears were something that could have been avoided, on my part.

After I spoke to Sally, I knew damn well that what I was doing was wrong.

But when had that ever stopped me, the unstoppable?

When had right and wrong ever dominated, when all I seemed to do was my own biddings?

Against better judgement, I had decided to go my own way as I always did.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and I guess I proved to myself just how true that statement was.

The truth in all of it was… I didn't want to believe, to listen to, to accept anything Sally had told me. I chose to ignore blatant truth. The truth was something I didn't want.

I had pushed this further than I intended, I didn't think I would get so lost in the heat of it all, between what I wanted, what she wanted, what she didn't know about Sonic.

Because Sonic… well, Sonic was right.

I let myself drink too much, go too far, abandon reasoning.

Because I was being selfish.
For the first time since my awakening, I acted in selfishness- but not out of hatred.
Out of a long simmered, aching, depressing loneliness.

Of the years I'd spent so alone, so cut off from everyone- feared for my abilities, my past, my appearance.
Nobody had ever bothered to reach out to me.
Nobody but her.

I had been alone so long, I had yearned for somebody lovely, somebody sincere, somebody who made me smile. Somebody who made me forget what a monster I could be.
And Amy had done that for me, since the day I met her.
Stealthily I had pined for her- envious of the endless reserve of affection she bore for somebody who barely looked at her long enough to insult her.
It only made me loathe him more- it only made my thirst to take her from him stronger.
You don't know what you have until it's gone.
And I knew what it was like to lose something that precious- the very thing that faker held in his hands, and crushed into sand day after day.
Night and day I watched, saw her seated at a restaurant by herself, watched the sun sink and disappear, watched her cry quietly to herself as she spent the evening alone.

Alone like me.

She would stand after waiting too long, trudging home solo, to do it again another day.
I had never mustered the guts to approach her.
I knew she would reject me.
So, I waited.
Quietly, and rather stupidly on my behalf, I had imagined someday that she would shelf her feelings for the ever self-righteous Sonic.
When she did become available, and was looking for another half that was not him, I happily slipped into the picture. The times that we have had over these weeks are some of the best I've had on Mobius to date.
But it became evident even before Sally had chosen to speak with me, Amy's heart had most certainly taken residence elsewhere.

But I was so happy.
Content.
Amy needed time to heal… but who would object that given said time, I could be what she had hoped to find in him? Maybe that is what drew her to me, initially. But as our dates continued, one issue was becoming inexcusably present.

She was not forgetting him, in the slightest.

I had what I wanted.

She did not.

And I let that detail- that excruciatingly glaring detail- move to the back of my mind.
I thought I could easily make up for what Sonic lacked, while being everything she desired from him. In actuality, I was blinding myself with my own desires.
Now here I stood, and as it always has a way of doing, the truth reared its ugly head in the end and stared me in the face. Look what I'd done to such a lovely person- an individual who couldn't dream of hurting me in such a way. Look what I had brought upon a girl I firmly admired?

Shadow… you bastard.

"Oh, God…" She finally managed to find her voice through her hyperventilating. "Sh-Shadow, I'm s-sorry…" She gulped, unable to separate herself from the very same wall I'd thrown Sonic against earlier. A mixed wave of both dread and stubborn realization was starting to overthrow my thoughts. Now that I was fully aware of what an ignorant jerk I was being, I was having to face the facts. And the facts were, that Sally was beyond right.

Sally was spot on.

I'd ignored her.

And now look at this mess I'd kindled into a rampaging blaze.
I approached her wearily, not even aware of the kind of expression I was wearing.

"Amy…" I began, and at the sound of her own name, she began shaking her head furiously at my tone.

"Please don't. Don't be sorry. I-it's my f-fault…" She hiccupped, and in a way I envied her for a split second- watching how her tears were so wild, free and prominent. Every tear I'd ever shed in my life had clawed, fought and tore its way from my eyes. I envied her ability to feel so shamelessly. It was one of those things I really liked about Amy- her blatant honesty, her pride in wearing what she felt. I raised a hand of comfort, and gently placed it on her back. She was so pure. It was one of the reasons that I could not let her take the blame for this. Before I could speak, she spun, facing me with those brilliant emerald eyes, which were consumed in morose.

"Shadow… I n-never meant for this to- I didn't want t-to end up- oh I wish I didn't feel anything for him at all!" She pealed, throwing herself back to the mercy of the wall, thumping it uselessly. "He's hurt me so much, why do I have to think about him all the time?! He's never cared, he's never cared for me like that!! I don't understand why he's doing this to me…" Her voice tapered into a hoarse whisper, and it was then I decided to spin her toward me once more, taking her against my chest in consolation. She crumpled against me like a delicate feathered strip of ribbon, soft and pliant in my overpowered arms.

"Amy… I have made a grave misjudgement." I murmured soothingly, stroking down the length of one of her quills. "I apologize for getting in the middle of something I cannot fathom. You are a lovely girl, and somebody gave me sound advice tonight that I greedily chose to ignore. I have been reckless tonight. I do not believe Sonic has intended to hurt you. I believe what you are seeing is something he has previously been keen to shield you from."

"What?" She said shakily, eyes searching my own for clarity. She didn't understand. She really didn't see what kind of affect this was all having on Sonic- or at least, had doubted its existence so long she refused to see it while it was smacking her in the face. I could not believe I was giving Sonic the upper hand, but as I mentioned… Sally was right. Amy was not mine for the taking. She had made up her mind about who she desired, and now that I knew for sure that Sonic returned that to her… it was senseless for me to remain a road block. Cruel, even. I was tired of that word being one of the top ways to describe me.
Even though Sonic enraged me, he was something very dear to Amy.

I owed her this.

"Sonic clearly carries something for you, Amy. Somebody told me things about Sonic tonight that you may not have considered yourself. But he does feel much for you that he has unsuccessfully kept restraints on- he showed me that tonight when I…spoke to him." I found shame in that context, remembering my own behaviour. "Not only did he refuse to battle me, but he showed great chivalry in places I did not. I knew when somebody told me of his protectiveness of you- somehow I knew that perhaps pursuing you could be hazardous. I misjudged him. I decided he could care for no other above his own selfish enjoyment. But when I confronted him… I was taught otherwise. Sonic wouldn't fight me tonight. Forgive me for being so malicious, my temper is ill conceived…" Her eyes were like saucers now, her bottom lip trembling as she seemed to be within a vortex of thought- so many expressions and emotions flitting through her eyes, washing over her features. She began shaking her head again, this time in denial.

"Sonic- Sonic doesn't turn down battles. He can't, I've never seen him do it, he's just too-"

"I challenged him tonight, Amy." I grit my teeth against the wave of contempt I felt for myself. I could see a disappointment in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I did that against better judgement. Forgive me. But I did take action against him in my jealousy. He pushed me aside for you. He would not defend himself on the grounds of upsetting you. He left me here. I was as astounded as you are now. He would not battle me for fear of causing you anguish."

"It's not true!!" She barked, looking away from me and covering her eyes. "Sonic- I already decided he- NO! I have worked so hard this time to not let my feelings for him get in the way, he doesn't feel anything for me except friendship Shadow! I can't go back to the way it was, he'll hurt me again! You're wrong- You're making a mistake-"

"I am NOT mistaken!" I bellowed, and she flinched from my yell, staring up at me now in nervousness. I swallowed loudly then, looking down at her beautiful face, knowing she would be so ashamed of me for what I was about to tell her. I had to let her know. I had screwed up so much tonight. I was in debt- this was for her, all the wrong I'd done her. Even for the wrong I had dealt Sonic. I had done him injustice as well, through me pushing myself between the magnetism between them.

It was as Sally had said to me earlier…'she's got a love. If you ask me, a boyfriend is easier to get in the way of.'
I closed my eyes fiercely, not wishing to see her disappointment in me when I told her this."It was more than him turning it down. It was beyond backing out. I was cruel toward him. You are not seeing the full picture! He let me strike him, Amy. He did not retaliate. I have never… I may never know that level of selflessness. Supremely for the good of another, and not myself. He would not strike me, though I know he desired it. He desired your needs above his own. I would not have believed his motives had he not told me himself. I was aware then that he loved you… I was selfish. It is myself that requires redemption, not you." When I finally willed myself the courage to look upon her face, I saw my words taking severe hold of her- affecting her in a way I myself had never experienced, never felt before. I might never know such intoxicating emotion, like Amy Rose did.
She fell, hands weak and shaking as they barely managed a grip at my jet shoes. She was staring wide eyed at the ground, face pinched and frantic as everything I'd said ran circles in her mind. The long, ragged sob she released was different now- it was edged with regret, there was an ageless pain in it that was so bare and raw, I felt the fur standing up on my back.
She was devastated.
And I was hearing years piled onto years of waiting, pain, regret- the realization that her struggles were never wasted on him, this was the sound of somebody realizing what they had- and also realizing they stood the possibility of squashing it as well. She knew she might have ruined it all with her actions in the club just now.
I felt overwhelming sympathy for her.

I let this happen.

"I've, I'm- I-I need to, Sh-Shadow I've got to find him." She clambered her way back up me, and I held her with support, now anxious to right my wrong doings against her.

"Amy, I am certain he is still with his friends, let me retrieve him for you- I am sure he will be open to speaking with you, if he does not revolt at the sight of me…"

"Let me go with you, please, I n-need to make sure he's ok…I d-don't think he'd listen to you." She quivered, scrubbing away at her eyes as she took my arm.

"Are you composed enough to face this?" I questioned, looking on her in doubt. "Perhaps tomorrow would be more prudent. You are currently not in a suitable state, nor he-"

"I know we're drunk, but I can't- I can't leave this as it is, I can't- I didn't know, I've been such an idiot!" She moaned "I wouldn't be able to sleep, leaving it like this and him…" her voice broke off again, a fist raising to her mouth, so I consented to her wishes. I led her back into the club, and when the wall of sound hit us again, we pushed through it and the laughing crowd to make our way to the table. We both brought up solid immediately, reading the scene before us.
Rouge was throwing on her coat hastily, Knuckles was on his cell phone- face urgent. Silver and Blaze wore the same expression, murmuring to each other discreetly. Mina and Mighty spotted us, and she was the first to reach us with the news we were already aware of:

"Guys, I thought you left! Sonic took off just now- Knuckles is on the phone with Tails. He's gone."

Amy rushed to Silver, taking his arm with a bolt of terror cutting through her features.

"What does she mean he's gone?! How could he have left so quick…" She trailed off at the dull looks staring back at her, before smacking herself in the forehead. "Never mind, stupid question. Silver, does he have his cell phone with him or do you still have it?"

"Yeah, but don't bother." Rouge sauntered over then, folding her arms with a sigh. "Knuckles has tried that about four times. He's not picking up."

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!" Amy's hasty cussing surprised everyone, and she scrambled to take out her own cell phone. Then she thumped the table angrily, causing everyone to move back in alarm- in case her hammer decided to make an appearance. "I left mine on my NIGHT TABLE!" She bawled, eyes stirring up in a frenzy as she rounded on me.

"Shadow, please- I have to go after him-"

"Absolutely not." I said sternly, throwing an arm out before me dramatically- the very idea of her wandering around Mobius at night drunk was appalling. She tightened her fists, as if she might fight with me. I could read every thought in her mind, displayed along her face. She was freaking out in that mind of hers.

"Shadow, this can't wait until tomorrow- he is not ok!" She protested, and I looked on her incredulously.

"And what do you suggest? A drunken rampage about Mobius alone, in the middle of the night?! Surely you realize just how unsafe that proposal is-"

"I know I can't go alone, I need you to come with me! You are the only person here who can keep up with Sonic-"

"Do you truly believe he will reduce to reasoning with me present?! Do you not see how illogical that is? If he is this temperamental now, he will refuse us!"

"You're right…" Her voice fell into a light whisper of submission, and she held a fist to her heart- as if willing it to stop fluctuating in torment. All eyes softened at her quivering lip, a sense of helplessness consuming the group. What could anyone do?

"Oh, Amy, you know Sonic…" Mina held her then, if not a bit haphazardly in her condition. "He'll be ok, he's Sonic."

"He's still a person! His feelings are hurt!" Amy's voice was small and high now, attempting to resist another onslaught of tears as the group watched her with saddened eyes. Knuckles ring tone interrupted the tumultuous scene, and he flipped it open anxiously.

"Sonic?!" everyone tuned in with anxious eyes, and waited as Knuckles "Mmm"ed, "yup"ed and "Alright"ed his way through the conversation. When he finally flipped his phone closed, heaving out a long gust of relief, everyone leaned in urgently to hear the update.

"Tails is on the other line with Sonic. He's ok, he's going to get Sonic to crash at his place tonight."

"Are you certain that Sonic will be pliant to his request? I have found it to be difficult to persuade Sonic to do anything." I counteracted, weary. If Amy was going to get any peace of mind tonight, it would have to be based on something concrete. Rouge now stood beside Knuckles, wavering slightly on her feet, leaning against him for support.

"Poor blue. I really do feel for the saucy hog…" She murmured, and Mighty agreed.

"I wish there was something I could do… he always helps me out when I'm good and jammed."

"Well? What do you think, Knux?" Amy asked direly, and he turned to her with a warm smile- a mighty mitt consoling her shoulder. As much as they had butted heads in the past, he still felt that dominating older brother perception over her- as if he'd like to protect her from any harm that might come her way in the world. He disliked seeing such an optimistic girl unsettled as much as the rest of the group.

"Come on, Amy. You know how it is as well as I do. Trust me. It's Tails. If anyone can convince Sonic into anything, it's going to be him. Rest easy tonight, ok? You could go visit Sonic in the morning at Tails place. Don't beat yourself up."

"Yeah, this isn't all you, sweetie. You've both gone about this the wrong way, neither of you are completely to blame- and he'll come around. Tonight isn't the night… especially seeing I can't feel my fingers…" Rouge's assurance melted into her staring down at her perfectly manicured nails, and Knuckles rolled his eyes in amusement as he pulled her flush against him.

"That'll do, bat girl. Lets get you back to your place… hit my cell tomorrow, Amy…" Knuckles directed, looking at her sternly and ruffling her pink quills briefly. It was funny, how he could forget his tough guy persona after a Caribou Lou.
Everyone geared up and got ready to leave, exchanging hugs and comforts before splitting off their own ways. Mighty, Mina and Ash were the last to leave in the group- leaving Amy and I standing by ourselves outside the door of the club. She was looking dismally to the ground at our feet, still appearing to be restraining the urge to cry.

"Oh, Sonic…" She whispered sadly, and I put an arm of support around her.

"Do not fret, Amy Rose. I assure you, if you wish it, I will wake you at dawn. I will travel to your house just to ensure you may get there as early as you wish. But tonight is not the night to sort these tribulations. Not like this. Would you not prefer speaking to him with a level mind?"

"I would…" She sniffled, thumbing one free range tear from her cheek. I gave her a squeeze, starting the both of us walking along the path. It was so disturbingly dark out, the moon non-existent behind the tumble of blackened clouds that took up the majority of the night sky.

"C'mon. Let me walk you home..."

Hide your heart under the bed, and lock your secret drawer

Wash the angels from your head, won't need 'em anymore

Love is a demon, and you're the one he's coming for, oh my Lord…

He's bringing sweet salvation let temptation take you in

He's every fear and every hope, every secret sin

He is the universe the love you've been imagining, oh my Lord…

Oh my Lord…

---

"Sonic? Are you going to answer my question? Where are you?!" Tails voice boomed from the other end of the line, and I flinched my sensitive ears away in a haze.

"Wh-whu? Tails, stop yellin'-"

"Sonic, Knuckles called me. He told me you took off. Now if you don't get your blue drunk supersonic ass over to my house right now, I am going to waste my night looking for you. Now are you going to be a teenage girl, or are you coming here now?"

"Don't, don't come looking for me, I'll-"

"Dude I am SERIOUS I am not doing this with you tonight, don't fight me because-"

"I mean I'll be there in a second, don't come out!" I hung up, anxious not to get yelled at again. I was so unused to hearing Tails upset or angry, it still took me way off guard.
Teenagers. They're terrifying.
I took in a few mammoth breaths of air, desperate for a remedy for both my thundering heart and rampaging tears. I didn't want him to see me like this- I didn't even want to see me like this! Drunk, mindless, bawling. I felt guilty for leaving the others, for leaving Knuckles without properly saying goodnight, for all of it. Maybe even for going, if the fun before and after the parts that Shadow dominated hadn't existed.
It was a literal roller coaster I'd been strapped into, from bottom of the barrel to tasting clouds, then plummeting darkly and crashing into murky water, downward… pulled from that and at the top of my game again, only to be knocked down & attacked by Shadow, going under again…
I honestly felt like I had just crawled out of the wreckage of a spacecraft that had crash landed.

And it was all based on emotion.

This was another first for me.

I'd never felt, just felt, anything so potent.

Was this really what had caused Amy to go into such a delirium over me, time and time again?
Was it really just me turning a deaf ear to what was so obvious for years, figuring I'd never get girls?

Because I got it.
Oh, I got it alright.
I got that when you became involved in this sort of thing it hurt, more than hell.

If only I had known that there lay greater evils down the road than that of the physical pain I bore for a living. I knew Amy's pain.
And suddenly, I didn't feel like the great hero people knew me as- I felt in awe.
Awe that for years stacked one on top of the other, she bore pain like this- and still managed to be so upbeat throughout.
She actually stunned me. I couldn't even fathom it right now, in my state- I was just walking.
Not running, but walking- seeing little around me, barely feeling my own footsteps from the warm numbness of the drinks- thinking about Amy, really thinking about her.
It was the part where I lost her that made it too much to bear.
Watching her walk away, and leave me behind…

I had never felt so obsolete, so truly rejected in the entirety of my cocky existence.
And it was a slap across my face, knowing I had never walked away from Amy.

I ran from her.

Every, single, time.

This… this was far more messy and complicated than I knew how to get out of- let alone intact.
All I knew was, in my current disposition, I was in no condition to deal with any of it.
I was lost. I didn't even know where my ego side was anymore.
Something told me it had left the club with her. All that remained was that aching part, the part that now completely consumed me. It saturated every thought, it wrestled with anything else that fought to seep into my mind and won.

This, was now more than a bother.
It was a problem- a malfunction- it was dominating me.

Suddenly I got another strange image in my dwindling into insanity- that I myself was Amy Rose, milling around Station Square, pining away, pushed aside by my only love. Suddenly I was controlled by my emotions, feeling the whip sting of rejection, knowing what it was to shed tears out of your love for somebody.

Finally, Amy wasn't foreign. She wasn't confusing at all.
She was what I was; in love, feeling so much inside, but trapped with it.
Love is never a blessing when it's one sided- it's a detriment… a demon.
I was at the same level- we were on the same wavelength, finally, because of each other.
And now, the idea of her sliding out of that need for me and finding another to feel for wasn't just something that got in the way of my day or mood.

It crippled me inside.

…I had to get to Tails house.

Now.

So I broke this chapter into two separates, in hopes that it would be less difficult to deal with while transferring it to . I guess that makes this a double update! Mosey on… x3