Chapter 10: Memento Mori

Sousuke pulled the collar of his black coat closer to his face. In hindsight a scarf would have been optimal, but he couldn't bring himself to touch the bluish-gray one hanging in his locker on the Danaan. Last Christmas Kaname had given that to him as a gift. Though she had made it seem like an afterthought of little significance, Ono-D had explained to him that it was an expensive name brand on the label and she most likely had spent some time saving up for it and picking it out. Her behavior had confused him at the time but it also warmed him. It was only a scarf; he knew that. It harbored no ill will, retained no memories and had no feelings. But when he shut his locker door he somehow thought it would be lonely in there, which was completely ridiculous. And for the same reason he couldn't bring himself to touch it, he found himself trekking alone in a foreign landscape looking for a girl he couldn't yet relinquish to Fate.

A bracing wind picked up his hair and blew snowflakes in his face. It was the first snowfall of the season in the little Russian village just south of Sochi. The sensation was welcome as it reminded him that he was still alive. Sousuke crossed the wide expanse of the M-27 highway quietly, the footfalls of his soft-soled leather shoes barely audible in the pre-dawn hours. His gloved hands were shoved into his pocket, along with a postcard from Sochi that Kaname had left at the lab in Antarctica.

A large dump truck approached and rumbled its way past him. He paused and looked at its markings, all in Russian. His youth in Kazakhstan had taught him many things; chief among them was a limited knowledge of the Russian language. It bore the markings of the company he was told to look for. After he returned from the Antarctica mission, he contacted Kaname's other "watcher," now reassigned to guard duty of a Mithril higher up. Partly because she was bored out of her mind and partly because she wanted Sousuke to find Kaname so she could give her a good thrashing, the Mithril intelligence operative did a little digging for him regarding the whereabouts of Amalgam in Sochi, Russia. This was after his leads in China, the Middle East and Australia had all led nowhere.

She found a connection between the local dump truck business and a French pharmaceutical company by the name of Orpheus Pharmaceuticals, which was in turn backed by a larger corporation, Messud Internationale. Messud was linked to Amalgam funding in the past and was a major holder of oil and energy stocks worldwide. It was a tentative link at best, but any link at all would drive Sousuke to the ends of the earth. Orpheus' headquarters were just south the coastal highway along the Russian countryside bordering the Black Sea, midway between Sochi and Achsjtyr. The dump truck company made regular pick-ups of bio hazardous waste and mechanical scrap from the laboratory on a weekly basis.

Sousuke followed the tracks left behind by the dump truck up an old country road. Along both sides were rows of trees that were losing their autumn hues and awaiting their winter death. His quiet surroundings mimicked his mood. Walking in the company of his own thoughts his mind turned to a familiar lovely face. His insides no longer ached when he thought of Kaname but an inexplicable gloom filled the fibers of his body and made him more numb than the chilled Russian wind ever could. He understood that perhaps Amalgam had threatened her with violence on her loved ones and friends. He understood that it was most likely a very difficult decision she had to make since it meant leaving the comfortable shell of her old existence. But what he couldn't accept, or perhaps refused to, was that she had left without telling him; that she couldn't trust him enough to protect her.

As he approached the top of the hill he could see the roof of the four-story white building ahead. The building itself was architecturally sophisticated, taking the shape of a sine wave with a tall, clear cylindrical glass elevator shaft on each end. It was almost entirely covered with a reflective blue glass in the form of windows and gave off an eerie glow as the sun started to rise. The grounds surrounding the building were immense, walled and gated, with barbed wire and 'no trespassing' signs in Russian lining its perimeter every fifty feet. Sousuke crouched down behind a large rock and a tall bush off the side of the road and watched several trucks come in and out of the main gate over the next two hours. A pair of armed guards would come around the front every fifteen minutes. At the top of each hour, he observed, the guard shift would change.

As Sousuke was pondering how he would get inside he suddenly heard a twig snap behind him. He spun round and crouched on his haunches, simultaneously reaching for his sidearm and took aim when he stopped short at the flash of long blonde hair.

"Kurtz?" he asked, pointing his standard issue Glock handgun upward as he clicked the safety latch back on. Kurtz took off his motorcycle helmet and beamed at Sousuke. Mao's head peeped out right behind him and she gave Sousuke a thumbs up sign with an equally large grin.

"Hey Sousuke, fancy meeting you here," said Kurtz rather pointlessly. Mao dug an elbow in his side that sent the taller Caucasian man bowling over with pain. He gripped a hand over his mouth to remain silent as tears came to his eyes.

"Hey Sousuke, what's the plan?" she asked innocently.

"There isn't one yet. The Captain sent you here to follow me, didn't she?" asked Sousuke calmly. Mao only shrugged.

"Maybe she did. Regardless, we're here to assist you and three heads are better than one. What's the situation?"

Just as the question was posed, the three ducked low as a silver Rolls Royce drove past them and pulled up to the gate. As it rolled to a stop, one of the back windows rolled down and Kaname partially stuck her head out and looked up to the gloomy morning sky. Her voice was distinctive and they overheard her telling the other passenger that the weather felt cold before the window slid back up into position. The driver swiped his card in front of the laser scanner on the right and the gate opened with a subtle 'clank.' The car climbed the slight incline of the gravel road and delivered its guests to the double doors of the building.

"I'm breaking in and I'm going to take Kaname back," said Sousuke resolutely.

"'Kaname,' now, is it?" asked Mao. She sighed with concern. "You're getting too emotionally involved in this, Sousuke."

"I haven't felt any emotions in a long time," he replied.

"Maybe that's the problem. Maybe you should just let this one go. Kaname made her own decision, didn't she? We'll report back to Tessa and she'll figure something out. We can't take them all on in there. We don't even have a schematic of the layout inside. How are we—" she began. Sousuke shook his head in frustration.

"No one asked you to follow me. By all accounts I'm on vacation and what I do on my own time is my own business."

"No way in hell we're letting you go in there alone to kill yourself," smiled Kurz. "You may not value your life right now, but we still do. Mao is just concerned. I'm backing you though, buddy, because I don't think Kaname's happy where she is. She's just waiting for someone to give her a reason to leave." As he spoke, Mao lifted her communicator watch and spoke into it.

"Uruzu 2 to TDD-1. Come in, TDD-1." A short scattering of static gave way to the Captain's gentle voice.

"TDD-1 here. Uruzu 2 report."

"Uruzu 2 and Uruzu 6 have located Uruzu 7 as well as Angel. Target is located south of Sochi, bearing 2-9-7 at Orpheus Pharmaceuticals. Awaiting further orders. Repeat, awaiting further orders," said Mao quietly into her wrist.

There was a pause. "Will Uruzu 7 return to TDD-1 for further orders?"

"Negative," replied Mao.

"Do not engage the enemy, Uruzu 2. We are presently working on deciphering the message that Angel left in Antarctica. Repeat, do not engage the enemy. Retrieve Angel by 0800 hrs. Please enter your coordinates and turn on your homing beacon."

"Roger, TDD-1." Mao entered their present coordinates and closed her communicator. She looked at her two companions thoughtfully. "You heard what she said, Sousuke, although I doubt you will be completely adhering to that command. You have an hour and a half."

"There is a rotation of guards at the top every hour. There are no cameras in the corner to the right. I was planning on confiscating one of the uniforms—" Sousuke began when Mao held up a hand to silence him. She glanced at her watch and looked over the hedge to where a pair of guards were just coming out of the gate to take over the next shift.

"Sousuke," was all she said before she lunged out of their hiding place at full speed, a sharp throwing knife in each hand. Before the two guards could react, she gracefully threw her first blade into the leg of one of the armed guards before he even had a chance to call out. As the pain sent him to his knees Mao punched him unconscious. Sousuke was right behind her like her shadow and just as the first guard was falling, a swift kick sent the other guard's weapon flying upward and he spun around quickly in the same rotation kicking in his opponent's face. The other guard was unconscious before he hit the ground. Sousuke caught the second guard's weapon as it came back down to earth. Kurz whistled at their efficiency as he came forward with some rope.

"Remind me to always stay on your good side," he commented.

Kurz stayed behind with their getaway motorcycle armed with his sniper rifle to assist if Sousuke or Mao needed him. Mao had conveniently reminded Kurz how awful his hand to hand combat was which led to her decision that he would be their back up. As for Sousuke and Mao, they wore their guard hats low to cover their faces and in Russian, exchanged a few words with the guards who were leaving their shift. When no one was looking, they quickly headed inside using the key cards located in the uniform pockets to access the guard entry at one side of the building. Luckily for them, there were quite a few uniformed guards, doctors and scientists in white lab coats milling about so they blended quite nicely with the crowd. Even more convenient, a large, hammered steel and metal map of the layout of every floor with a description in Russian of the uses of each floor in different colors was posted on the center wall of the first floor. Sousuke ventured a guess that Kaname would be in the "testing and development" floor, which was the first floor adjacent to an arena behind the building, for testing arm slaves. Mao indicated there was a possibility that she was on the blue "research floor," which was the second to last floor. To save time, they split up in search of her.

Sousuke slid his key card to open the double glass doors labeled as "testing and development" at the far end of the main hall. He kept his face expressionless as he passed the guard seated behind a desk on the other side and nodded slightly. The other guard, older and more rotund, barely acknowledged him and continued to read his morning paper. The space he entered barely had any solid walls. Thick double paned glass panels and glass doors with silver handles divided the rooms. In each room a piece of heavy machinery or prototype device hung suspended from the ceiling or was propped on a lab table with various personnel in white lab coats and clipboards milling about taking computer readings and scribbling their notes down. No one seemed to heed the armed security guard passing by. At the far end of this section was a concrete wall and a heavy metal door labeled "arena." Since Kaname was nowhere to be found on this floor, he intended to check the arena and then rejoin Mao.

He slid his key card through the door lock but instead of a green light, he saw a red one. He tried again and the lock started to beep and the keypad next to it started blinking. Sousuke surmised that regular guards had no access to this section and he may have in fact triggered an alarm by sliding his card twice. At this point, he started to sweat and as he turned to exit back the way he came Sousuke bumped into someone unexpectedly.

"What are you--" began the tall, platinum blond Caucasian man when he stopped short.

"I spy a little fly in my eye," Leonard said with a sly smile. "I've told them time and time again that security at this lab needed to be doubled. But, do they listen? No." He pursed his lips thoughtfully and waived Sousuke to one side. "Let's just get this over with, Sagara-san, if you really must to see her that badly…." Leonard punched in a code and the keypad stopped beeping and the metal door opened with a hollow groan.

Meanwhile, Mao, who had quietly snuck past the guard posted at the elevator doors and a gaggle of female scientists on their way to a cigarette break, opened an unmarked door on the eighth floor and peeked inside. As luck would have it, she saw a familiar hair bow and tall figure of a girl she knew. Before Mao could call out to her, a lab assistant was startled by the presence of an armed security guard in a place where she should not be. A beaker the assistant had been holding slipped out of her hand and shattered on the linoleum floor. All eyes then turned to the stranger in the room.

"Melissa," said Kaname in shock. Suddenly an alarm sounded. Kaname looked over to the lab assistant who had dropped the beaker. One hand was tucked under a lab table where an alarm button could be triggered for whatever reason. Before Kaname could give warning, an astral barged in through the door, nearly knocking Mao off her feet. She regained her balance and in one half turn drew her weapon, aimed and shot off two rounds. As if reading her every movement, the Astral raised a forearm and blocked both shots. One of the bullets ricocheted into a cabinet and shattered the glass front. The assistants started to scream and panic and they started for the door. As they exited the astral's sensor picked up the image of their retinas and scanned them until it read Mao's unfamiliar eye scan. Identifying her as the intruder, it charged forward, avoiding all three shots Mao fired next with its incredible speed and agility. All the lab assistants screamed and ducked their heads away from the stray bullets and flying shards of glass. With one swing of its metal arm Mao went flying into a glass cabinet on the far side of the room.

Mao gasped from the pain and her unsteady hand took aim at her opponent once more. Her own blood made the trigger slippery. Just as she was about to shoot, Kaname stood between her and the astral. The robot scanned Kaname's eyes and acknowledged her.

"Miss Chidori," it said in a mechanical voice. "Step aside, please."

"Run, Mao," said Kaname calmly, arms spread eagle to shield her from the astral.

"Kaname—" began Mao.

"I said run!" Kaname screamed. "It will break you in half if you don't!"

"Shit," cursed Mao as stood up and took Kaname in a headlock with her gun cocked at the ready. Kaname gasped at the sudden pressure against her throat.

"One move and she's dead," warned Mao. The astral's visor scan blinked red but it did not move.

"Sorry Kaname-chan," said Mao quietly.

"It's ok," breathed Kaname. With a heavy shove she pushed Kaname into the astral and took off in the opposite direction. The astral caught Kaname before she reached the ground and politely set her aside. Then it leaped away immediately in a sprint after Mao.

Mao had already raced past the startled lab technicians in the hall and made it all the way to the elevator. Just as the doors were closing, the astral opened fire as it charged forward and lodged several bullets into the elevator door. Just as the astral reached out to keep the doors open a shot pierced the nearest window and struck it in the head. The weight of the blow pushed the astral to one side, allowing the elevator doors to close.

"Took you long enough, Kurz," panted Mao as she descended to the first floor where she was sure the guards were waiting for her.

000

"Isn't she beautiful?" asked Leonard with pride in his voice. Sousuke beheld a slender and aerodynamically designed armed slave in the center of the testing arena that knelt on bended knee with a fist to the floor and the other in its lap. Its head stylistically resembled the Codarl with its long white mane streaming out behind it. On its back large exhaust modules were tucked in like a pair of metallic wings. The visor glowed green and its head tilted to one side as it observed Sousuke at the arena's entrance. The movement, observed Sousuke, was very human.

"It's our brainchild, mine and Kaname-san's. The Avatara is directly connected to its human pilot's brainwaves so its movement is entirely in synch with the operator's thoughts. It moves faster and lighter than any AS in existence. Would you care to test that statement?" dared Leonard.

"What do I get out of it?" asked Sousuke.

"The satisfaction of defeating me, the one who took your muse from you. If you can defeat us in this match, I will relinquish Kaname to you," smiled Leonard. "No strings attached."

"Then I won't lose," responded Sousuke.

"Confident, aren't we?" Just as the two were glaring at one another a loud bag came from the arena's entrance and Mao tumbled out of the building. Several astrals were chasing her but with a hand from Leonard all went still. Mao panted as she fell to the ground on her hands and knees. The blood running from her side suggested that a bullet had grazed her. She turned to Sousuke and grinned.

A sudden, erratic movement from the AS interrupted them all. "I won't let you take Kaname onee-san," said the voice of a young boy from within the Avatara on its loudspeaker.

Sousuke glared at the machine, wondering who its pilot was. Leonard raised an arm to tell the giant AS to remain at ease.

"Kenji-kun," said Leonard with an authoritative look that told the boy to keep silent when adults were speaking. But Kenji would not be obedient today. He raised the AS' cannon and aimed it towards Sousuke. The electromagnetic cannon buzzed and whirred as it began to charge.

"Kenji!" shouted Leonard. Before Leonard could reach for the access control panel still connected through a series of wiring to the Avatara, his two personal human-sized armed slaves, anticipating the danger, flanked him on both sides and he was speedily whisked up twenty feet in the air. Just as they rescued Leonard, Kenji pulled the trigger and a an enormous pulse of hot, bluish-white light exploded upon impact with the ground. The impact immediately absorbed all the sound in the surrounding area. Mao plunged behind a low stone barrier to avoid the outward burst of hot smoke and flame. Sousuke jumped back, but not far enough to dodge the entire inferno. He could smell the singe of the rubber soles of his shoes, his hair, and even his skin. In the split second between the time he was on the ground and when he was tossed into the air he immediately held his breath just as his nasal passage started to burn to prevent further tissue damage in his lungs as the burning debris and smoke engulfed him.

"Sousuke," mouthed Kaname with her lips as she suddenly lost her voice. Her palms were pressed firmly against the thick, double paned glass window separating her from the heat of the explosion. Tears welled up in her eyes as the window shuddered.

She had been staunchly against Kenji being entered into the training program for the Avatara because his surgical procedure had not been entirely successful and he was not able to control the Lambda Driver in the AS. Against her wishes, Leonard had enrolled Kenji along with the other test subjects into the training program. Though Kenji excelled in the simulations, he was exhibiting some after effects that caused instability in his mental faculties. Kaname clenched her teeth as her knees gave way and she crumpled onto the floor. The sweat in her palms streaked downward along the glass' smooth surface as she slid down, still feeling the heat of the explosion against the glass. Her head whirled in thoughts of despair. If her own creation had killed the one she cared for the most, there was only one thing left for her to do.

000

Sousuke found the string of his consciousness once more. It had eluded him so many times that he was wondering if he would ever catch it again. He felt like a cat trying to grasp the end of a ball of yarn that kept on wriggling out of its paws. This time, he clung to it, knowing that if he lost it again, he would have to face the black abyss behind him and he would drown in it this time. There was something sinister about that abyss. It was like a black door and behind it he wondered if oblivion, or Hell, or both waited for him.

He opened his eyes, and the light in the room stung his irises. With this movement that proved he was still among the living his whole body started to protest, as if it too remembered that it was alive. There wasn't a spot on his body that didn't ache or burn. Sousuke felt as though he had walked the deserts in Kazakhstan twice over without water. He turned his head to one side and saw an angel staring back at him. He blinked and realized it was not Kaname.

"Sagara-san, can you hear me?" asked Teletha timidly.

He nodded and said, "Captain," in a hoarse voice. It was so thick and drugged that he needed a moment to register that it was his own.

"Thank goodness Mao sent your coordinates to us on time. We sent two retrieval units who successfully claimed the three of you back in the confusion after the explosion," she said gratefully. She paused for a moment to add, "We were not able to retrieve her at the time as your injuries were the most pressing. You have been out for nearly two weeks." Her words surprised him. Sousuke could still smell his burnt hair as if it had happened a moment ago. He lifted a weak unsteady hand to his head and to his shock realized that a portion of his hair had been shaved off. Though he had never cared about his looks before and he would never see his classmates again, he nevertheless felt a little self-conscious.

"You're lucky to come back alive," sighed Teletha. She fought hard to suppress the anger in her voice and the tears in her eyes. "You should stop, Sagara-san. You've done enough."

He inhaled a deep breath and let it out calmly. Kaname's smiling face flashed across his mind and its warmth beckoned him towards insanity. Her smile was the only home he had ever needed so fervently. "But I'm not dead yet," he responded. "And I promised her…" His voice faded in his own ears as he lost consciousness again. The last things he heard were the erratic beating of his heart monitor suddenly changing to a whiny monotone and the captain's frantic voice crying out for the medic.

Author's Note: Wouldn't it be funny if I just killed him off here? I'm sorry it took so long to churn this out. My life has been crazy lately. Finally, a chapter that's from Sousuke's point of view. I thought I needed to get out of Kaname's head, but when I got into his head, it felt a lot darker in there…I wanted to convey the sense that Kaname and Sousuke live in the same gritty, disenchanted world now, and the only thing that gives them hope and keeps them alive is their feelings. Memento Mori: literally means in Latin "remember death," or remember your own mortality. It's also one of my favorite movies.

-Kero (10/29/08)