You won't like me after reading this. You've been warned. Also, I changed the cover image for this story cos I found a cool image online (neat, huh).
Dear blackindiaink,
Your review was amazing and I took a screen shot of it.
Sincerely, Me.
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One thing Beca had learned early on in life was that being objective and thinking ahead were not her strong suits.
Punching that kid in the face in third grade rather than asking him to get out of her seat? Not thinking ahead. Screaming at her father until she lost her voice when she could have just sat down and had a civil conversation about why he was being a dick for leaving her? Not thinking ahead. Being dumb enough to tell her parents her plans for after high school when she could have just snuck to LA? Not thinking ahead.
Calling Aubrey Posen to talk about Chloe when she could have just formulated some plan to get information out of Adam (or talk to Chloe again, or ya know, just not be so nosey)? Probably the pinnacle in her life that was disastrously barren of forward thinking.
"Hello? Aubrey Posen speaking." Aubrey sounded busy, though then again, Aubrey always sounded busy (probably even when she talked in her sleep).
"Uh hey Aubrey… it's uh… it's Beca. Could I talk to you for a sec?" No point in backing out now (she'd probably get called back the second the blonde realized who it was anyway, and then there really would be a problem).
"I'm in the middle of a paper Mitchell and I have to get it done tonight because I'm going on a hike with my mother tomorrow." Beca could practically feel Aubrey's frustration at her (great start). "This better be the most important conversation of my life."
"Uh…" (rip off the band aid Beca. Just rip it off). "I really like Chloe and I need to ask you a question." (well that was one way of doing it).
"You have my attention." On paper Aubrey's sentence sounded calm, cool, and collected as usual, though Beca had heard the sharp but subtle intake of breath in the deathly silence that'd followed her admittance.
"Well I guess I've liked her since I joined the…" Beca began awkwardly (already about 500% unsure on how to continue the conversation).
"No!" Aubrey all but screamed. "No, no, no, no. I do not need the nasty details of why you have the hots for my best friend," she scolded. "Just…" She sighed. "Just what is it you want to ask?"
"Oh right… well… uh," Beca wasn't entirely sure how exactly to ask the question (the way she'd brought it up with Daniel hadn't been her most genius move).
"Spit. It. Out." Apparently even when she was interested in the topic being discussed Aubrey didn't have time for Beca.
"I wanted to ask you about her dad." There was no point in trying to sugar coat it, at least not with Aubrey.
"No." Aubrey's refusal was firm and to the point. "We're not talking about that, and to be honest, you shouldn't even be bringing it up."
"No, but Aubrey…."
"But nothing Beca. I'm not having this conversation with you," the blonde cut her off. "I'm going to go finish this paper before I lose my train of thought completely."
"I think I'm in love with her." Beca could practically hear her heart skip a beat in the silence that followed (maybe she should just get her tongue surgically removed?).
"What did you just say to me?" Aubrey questioned after a moment, sounding like she'd just woken from a coma.
"I'm not repeating it Aubrey." Beca shuffled awkwardly on the tiled floor of the toilet cubicle, thankful that she'd heard no one coming in.
"Well Beca you can't just say a thing like that." Aubrey sounded angry. "You can't just go around throwing words like "I love you" into conversation. She's my best friend, and I swear to god if this is just some way for you to find out about her family I will do things so unspeakable to you, you'll wish you were never born." (yea, she was definitely angry).
"I'm uh… I'm not lying…" Beca wasn't sure why she was so scared (what, with being hundreds of miles away from the blonde and all that), all she knew was that right now she was glad it was a bathroom stall she was in, cos she was sure she was about to shit herself.
"Good." Aubrey still sounded angry, even though apparently her qualms had been settled. "Now what was it you wanted to know?"
"About… about her dad."
"And what do you know already?" (Beca got the feeling she was going to get more questions than answers in this conversation).
"Very little actually. I don't even know the guy's name," Beca confessed, sounding dumb in her admittance. "All I know is that his presence in a room makes Chloe uncomfortable, and the mention of him makes her like this whole different person… yea actually that's what it is. She's like a whole different person when she's around him, and not in like… a good way or whatever. She's like… reserved and uh… unhappy and stuff."
"And is that not enough to know?" Aubrey sighed, hating herself for actually feeling a twinge of sympathy and responsibility towards Beca in her efforts in finding out more about Chloe's family.
"I want to help her Aubrey…" Beca confessed quietly.
"What if you can't?" Aubrey challenged.
"Then I don't want to be the person that walked away without giving it my all," Beca shrugged honestly, even though no one could see her.
"I'm not giving you the whole story Beca," Aubrey warned, though even the way she said it made Beca hopeful that she'd get something out of the blonde. "You need to ask Chloe for that."
"I will… I promise."
"Chloe and her dad never got along," Aubrey began, making a noise when she started that let Beca know how much she hated talking about her best friend behind her back. "Her dad was big into sport but Chloe preferred dancing and singing. He liked to take her and Adam fishing at the weekend, but then Chloe decided she was vegetarian and wouldn't go fishing and wouldn't even eat what her dad brought home. Then something just… something happened and that's the thing I'm not going to tell you about, and well yea… I guess you could say there's no going back for them."
"Oh…" Beca wasn't sure what else would be appropriate to say.
"You said you wanted to be there for her?" Aubrey continued once she'd realized Beca's input was going to be no more constructive than that one syllable.
"Yea…"
"Well then do just that. Be there for here Beca," Aubrey demanded. "She'd never admit to it, and she sure as hell never shows it, but Chloe needs someone to hold on to as well. She may not be up for telling you just yet, but if you're there for her, and if you let her know you love her then she will, and you need to be there when she does."
"See therein lays the problem," Beca interrupted. "She doesn't know I love her, and I don't plan on telling her."
"I should've had you pegged as one of these emotionally closed off people," Aubrey groaned.
"It's not like that!" Beca tried to defend. "We're just friends, and I'll be there for her as a friend, but that's it."
"That's exactly how it is Mitchell!" Aubrey snapped. "You love her and you're too much of a chicken to admit it. What if I said she liked you back? What then?"
"Then nothing," Beca insisted. "It doesn't matter how she feels about me, my stance remains unchanged."
"You're literally the worst human being ever." Aubrey groaned. "I mean just as I was beginning to think you weren't all bad. Why wouldn't that change anything? Why?"
"Because things work the way they are." Beca was trying so desperately to make Aubrey see her way of thinking, even if she knew it was in vain. "I'm happy with our friendship the way it is."
"No you're not," Aubrey scoffed. "You're not, and she's not, and one of you needs to do something about it before the sexual frustration kills everyone."
"If I take that chance and it doesn't work though…" Beca could feel a lump rise in her throat, but was determine to push it back. "I can live with her not being my girlfriend Aubrey. It'll kill me, but I can do it. I really don't think I could cope without her being my friend though."
"If you really love her the risk's worth taking," Aubrey told her simply. "Just think about it Beca. Just think about everything and whatever you do, don't you dare hurt her." Beca didn't even get a chance to promise she wouldn't before the line went dead.
Beca felt like a whole new person when she walked out of the stall. She wasn't sure if it was in a good way, or a not so good way, all she knew however was that a lot of things had become clearer, and of course a lot more things were hazier than ever. Not that it mattered though. She still had the rest of a rehearsal dinner to get through, and a hot (fake) date to flirt with.
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Beca hadn't been in the first two bathrooms Chloe had checked. Then again, knowing Beca (and she did know Beca), this shouldn't have been at all surprising, given the fact she probably wanted to A) make sure no more of Chloe's annoying relatives invaded her personal space and B) wanted to be as far away from the party in general as possible.
That's why she was at the door of the bathrooms in the hotel lobby now. The sound of the chatter from the ballroom was a fuzzy blur behind her as she pushed open the door noiselessly.
At first glance the room was empty, and she was about to turn on her heel and try the bathrooms on the first floor when a sound caught her attention. It was the clacking of heels against tile, and Chloe knew for a fact Beca was wearing heels because she'd complained for almost an hour about it.
This would have been her cue to call out for the brunette, to make her presence known. Something stopped her though. A feeling somewhere in the pit of her stomach that let her know she'd possibly be interrupting something if she were to do so.
She was right.
"It's not like that!" Beca sounded like she was defending herself against something. "We're just friends, and I'll be there for her as a friend, but that's it." Oh… that's what she felt so eager to deny then.
Chloe knew she should leave. She really did know that, but it was basic human nature. An overwhelming urge to know what people said about you, especially if said person was someone you were quite possibly falling (or fallen) for.
"Then nothing," Beca still seemed to be on the defensive. "It doesn't matter how she feels about me, my stance remains unchanged."
Chloe felt her heart drop to her ass when Beca spoke. Like really, it was a literal feeling of something falling all the way through her (maybe it was her soul? Or her hopes and dreams?).
"Because things work the way they are. I'm happy with our friendship the way it is." Now the brunette really just seemed to be rubbing it in.
Chloe couldn't listen to another word. She was careful to remain absolutely silent as she left the room, allowing herself to fall apart a little as she leaned against the wall outside (not too long though, that could be done tonight when she was sure Beca was asleep).
She had about all of thirty seconds to pull herself together as well. She could hear through the door as Beca pushed the door of the stall open and stepped out, mulling around the bathroom for a moment before heading to the exit.
If anyone had been watching Chloe in the seconds before the door swung open they'd probably presume her to be crazy. The frown that aged her face at least five years and made her look like a kicked puppy all at once dissipated instantly, being replaced with a beaming smile the second the door swung open.
"Hey!" She greeted happily, catching Beca off guard for a second. "I was just coming to get you… deserts being served and you didn't come sprinting back into the room… I'd presumed you'd died."
"The only time you'd ever need to fear for my life was if you were to actually see me sprint," Beca chuckled, being put at ease instantly when she'd realized it hadn't in fact been an axe murderer waiting for her when she'd opened the door (of course the logical, and far less frequently used, side of her brain could have told her this anyway if she'd factored in it was a public and busy hotel she was in).
"Whatever, just come on," Chloe rolled her eyes playfully at the DJ, kicking herself for the butterflies that rose in the pit of her stomach when Beca linked their fingers and led the way back to the ballroom.