Chapter 11 "You Know the Dark Forest Well"
Seeing my parent's ghosts had brought me a small glimmer of hope. Not all was lost. I still was loved by my people and had friends in Anna and Greta. After I finished up with council meetings that morning, I returned to my chambers, summoning them to my presence. They both served me in the castle willingly and had no intention of leaving here to bear my reign alone. They knew I needed their love and support. By the hearth I sit, wrapped in a blanket, sipping a cup of wine Greta has brought me.
"How are you, Your Majesty?" she asks me.
"I don't know, Greta," I murmur. Hearing this, Anna sits beside me and I let her take my hand in hers. "I wake up and I do not even know myself, or who I trust, of what I want for my kingdom, for my people. Sometimes I wonder if a part of me is dying a slow death, but you must tell no one of this."
Greta nods, trying to understand me.
"I…I have made a terrible mistake," I murmur, trying to find the words. "I have betrayed the man who wanted nothing, but to love me."
"Then set him free," Anna implores. "Eric only wanted to protect you."
"Did he?" I snap. "He assaulted me, your queen. He invaded my power and deserves to be punished for it. Don't you see, Anna? If I let him go, I will be forced to choose between him and William to marry. And my people would far rather accept a prince like William than a jailed huntsman."
"Must you marry?" asks Greta. "Your advisors may pressure you to do so, but the choice is ultimately yours, Your Majesty."
"It's not that simple, Greta," I remind her. "What will happen to my kingdom if I leave behind no heir?"
Greta is silent, pondering my words. I do not wish to share my power with anyone; few should ever see me vulnerable. The weight of the crown has become so overbearing; how long will I live under its demanding duty? I must away for a while.
"Anna, Greta, will you promise to do me a secret favor?" I rise from my chair, gazing at myself in the mirror for a moment. My eyes are tired and drooping from lack of sleep. My body had lost a bit of weight from my lack of eating. Something was slowly killing me. The scar on my wrist burned still even under the hidden weight of my dress. Anna and Greta are my only comfort with their agreeing to help me.
I turn to Anna. "I need you to go down to the dungeon tonight and fetch me some shackles and order Eric to be released. Make sure to release him discreetly and lead him to the private back gate to the stables. Do not tell him anything. He must be kept in the dark about my plan."
"Yes, Your Majesty, but what plan?" Anna inquires.
"I cannot tell you, but will you come with me?"
"Yes," she replies. "Greta, will you be able to look after my daughter while I am gone?"
"Of course, Anna."
I take Greta aside once Anna has left to inform her daughter that she will be leaving. I hate to tear her from her daughter, but I need a motherly presence with me. "I have a very important task for you. No one in the kingdom, or the castle must know I am gone. It would cause an uproar otherwise. You must inform the captain of the guard that I am very ill and indisposed. If he does not listen, tell him it's the doctor's orders that I stay in bed for several days."
"I will, Your Majesty, but where are you going?"
"I cannot tell you. I only know I must go for answers. Don't worry, Anna will be there for me if I need it."
"Why can't I go with you?"
"I need you here, Greta. I trust you with my life."
Quietly I embrace my friend before she leaves me alone in my chamber. I trade my fancy gown and golden crown for a simple peasant-like dress and tattered black hooded cloak: it's the best disguise I have for my journey. In my small satchel, I pack bare necessities and my dagger. Anna will have my horse ready by tonight and I will have to face Eric again. He is only free because he knows the Dark Forest well; I know him as my guide. But I know I can never forgive him.
Only Anna and Greta know part of my plan. William and Eric are to be left in the dark. Evening falls fast as I slip my hood carefully over my head. I shall be hidden well in the dark to slip out of the palace back gate with my horse. It doesn't take me long to reach the stables. There is Anna awaiting me with my horse and Eric. I stop in my tracks upon seeing him. I almost wish I had disguised myself better, but he would still recognize me if I dressed a boy. Finally I manage to compose myself before he can see me. Without looking him in the eye I walk past him, mounting my horse, Anna attaching my sword to my saddle.
"My queen?" asks Eric, puzzled at my motives. "What are you planning?"
"It is not for your ears," I reply. "Are you coming with me, or not?"
Eric shrugs, mounting his horse. "It's not like you've filled me in with any details of where we're going."
"You know the Dark Forest well," I remind him. "Anna will be accompanying us and if you try to escape, I will have you hunted down."
Eric eyes me with suspicion, but reluctantly gives in to my authority. After Anna has mounted her horse, I lead us out through the back gate. "We will make camp when we are near the forest," I inform them, tightening my grip on my horse's bridle. I grit my teeth, my scar searing in pain. Something powerful has possessed my judgment and I can only fight it alone unless it ends up killing me first.