This is the new chapter. Sorry that it took so long, I didn't have much time :)) Sorry for mistakes ((; And... I just figures by the views, that some of you might have lost chapter 6, because i uploaded two chapters in one day :D

Alright, enoght talking.

Good reading :

You feel so lonely

And you start to cry

But nobody understands

Nobody sees

Just how broken you really are

Chaper 9

.

Sam was sitting across the bed and looking at Dean's pale form.

He wanted to scream, to break something, but he just sat there, strangely calm.

He wanted to go back to the bunker. To find something, a spell, maybe? But first, he waited for Missouri to finish checking Dean for more injures, because he wasn't able to do it himself; his arms were shaking heavily.

"He seems fine, Sam. He's got a little bump on the head, nothing too serious. Should be fine," she said.

"So, I can bring him back home?"

"Yeah, you can. But why you wanna run away so badly?"

"I wanna find some information in bunker. And I'm sure I will. On the other hand, it's safer in there. I was stupid for bringing him here, you know. It's just three hours driving. We're going," Sam said with a determined voice.

Missouri let out a loud breath.

"Fine, go. But don't forget what I've told you. And, seriously, call Castiel. This is serious, Sam. And if you're going, better hurry up. It'll be better if he woke up at his bed, not in the car. And don't forget to call me, kid! Or I'm sure as hell that I will send spirits to haunt you ass. I'm not kidding, and you know that."

Sam smiled slightly.

"Of course I'll call you, there's no need to send someone after me. And it won't work. That place is too safe, you know."

Missouri raised her eyebrows.

"When, then in there is truly safer than here, if spirits can't go in. Okay. Enough talking for now. Let's move," she said.

Sam nodded.

"Yeah let's move."

.

.

Sam was driving from Lawrence to Lebanon again.

Dean was half sitting, half lying in the passenger's seat, still unconscious. It worried Sam. They were 20 minutes away from the bunker, and he was still out.

All the time, while driving, Sam was thinking about what is happening with his brother.

Well, pain is torturing Dean, and it's not ending. There are no visible injuries that he could take care of, those injuries are in his soul. And pretty bad, he must say.

And there was practically nothing Sam can do. And that was both driving him nuts and calming him.

Sam didn't know, what was wrong with him. It felt like he was terrified and so fucking calm in the mean time. It was like he cared and didn't. It felt like he was in the middle of the road, and not sure, which way to turn, so he was going from one way to another, trying to pick one, the right one, but he doesn't know, which way was the right one.

And he was scared, that he'll end up choosing the wrong one.

So he stayed in the middle, waiting for some sign, for something. For something, someone, to light up the road.

So he'll wait.

He glanced at Dean, again.

He was still out cold.

Well, he lost a lot blood. Sam couldn't blame him but he still looked pale and lifeless.

Like dead.

Sam shook his head.

"He's not dead" he said at loud. But then a voice inside his mind echoed:

Not yet.

.

.

They were finally back home at the bunker.

Sam laid Dean on the bed in his bedroom, and after that, first thing that he did; he went to grab some food.

Damn, he was hungry.

And there was nothing resembling to a proper food in the fridge.

Well, usually Dean was the one buying food, but he had been sitting in his room for days, not coming out, not eating, so, nobody got out to buy some food.

"Shit," Sam mumbled.

He needed to do some shopping.

They were out of food, out of water, out of even beer!

Sam grabbed the Impala's keys and headed to the garage.

Dean is still out anyway, and we need supplies. I'll be back soon. Nothing bad will happen while I'm out. Dean will be okay.

But the problem is, that Dean's not okay.

Not at all.

.

.

He woke up.

First thing he felt was exhaustion, and that his head hurt. Well, frankly, everything hurt.

"What the hell happened?" he tried to remember.

Roger. That house. Flying off the stairs. And then just pain, pain, pain… and darkness.

Dean opened his eyes.

His vision was blurry.

He blinked a few times and then his vision went back to normal.

Dean was confused.

"What the hell? Am I hallucinating?" he asked aloud.

He was in his room, in the bunker. In Lebanon, not in Lawrence.

He closed his eyes and opened them again, waiting for the room to have disappeared.

No, he was really in his room.

Dean sat up.

For a second his vision went black again, but just for a moment.

And pain was there again, but not that pain. It was from his experience with battling with a ghost and from bumping his head. He just hoped he didn't have a concussion. And his arm was itchy a little, where the glass cut in. He could feel by the slight dizziness that he'd lost blood too.

Dean stood up.

"Gee, I need some aspirin," he mumbled. He looked at the clock to see, what time it was. It was 7:46 am already. "Jesus, how long I was out? Eight – nine hours? My God…" Dean said in horror.

He went out of his room, and straight to the kitchen.

When he went in, he saw beer, water, some apples, vegetables, tacos and a huge bag of groceries on the table. Apparently, Sam went for shopping.

Sam.

Dean looked around.

Sam was nowhere to be seen.

Why are you so surprised, huh? He's got other work to do, than watch your sorry ass. Be thankful, that he brought you back home. his mean inner voice told him scornfully.

Dean yawned.

Damn, he was tired, so he just grabbed the aspirin bottle from the top shelf, took two and left the bottle on the table and went back to sleep.

He just wanted to sleep.

.

When Sam went in the kitchen after taking a shower, it was 8:13 am. First thing he saw, that there was an aspirin bottle on the table.

Sam jumped.

Dean.

He practically run to his room and knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

Sam just went in.

Dean was lying on the bed, sleeping.

Sam went closer and took a good look at his brother.

Yeah, he was just sleeping.

But he was still pale, far from Sam's liking. The younger Winchester carefully put a hand on Dean's forehead and quickly drew away.

"Jesus, Dean, you're burning up," Sam said.

He needed to bring down the temperature.

"Dean, man, wake up." Sam shook brother's shoulder.

Dean didn't even stir.

"Hey, man, it's not funny, wake up!" he said more angrily this time. When Dean didn't show any signs of hearing him, Sam shook his shoulder as hard as he could and shouted, "Dean! Wake up, for God's sake; I need you to wake up!"

Finally, Dean stirred and opened his eyes.

"Sam?" he said in disbelief with a weak voice "What happened? Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Sam smiled. Typical Dean. Still wondering, if there's something wrong with Sam.

"No, Dean, nothing is wrong with me. You're the one with a fever far too high"

"Whatever," Dean shrugged, wearily. "What the hell happened and why am I here?" he asked.

"Well, apparently, that ghost threw you off the stairs; you bumped your head too. I don't know what happened while you were there, but when I came in, he was next to you, talking to you, and you were in pain, on the floor. Well, I burned his body, there's no Roger anymore. When I came up to you, you were in agony and barely conscious, bleeding out. Neither I, nor Missouri couldn't do a damn thing. After a few minutes you went still, and since then you were unconscious. We decided that it's safer in the bunker and well, here we are," Sam explained calmly.

Dean nodded.

"And now I need some explanation from you, Dean." Sam's voice suddenly went harsh. Dean looked at him, surprised. "Why the hell you went after that ghost alone, huh? Why the hell did you run away? You knew that he was dangerous! Are you that out of your mind? You were so reckless, Dean, damn it, you could have died in there!" Sam practically screamed.

Dean just looked at him and said very quietly, "like you care."

Sam heard that and went pale.

"Yeah, Dean, I do care! Even if you don't believe me. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do, you like it or not." Sam stopped and took a deep breath before talking again. "So now tell me, why the hell did you do that?"

Dean looked at him, tired. But he didn't want to show, how weak he really is and gathered all his strength to answer to Sam.

"I wanted to take care of that ghost, alright? I wasn't thinking if that ghost was dangerous, or not. I wanted to take care of it without those your freaking looks you've been throwing at me since we got back from Missouri's!"

Sam looked at him.

"What looks?"

"You're looking at me like I'm some kind of ticking bomb, like I'm gonna explode any minute! So stop!"

"Right' Sam said. 'Okay, but that's not why I'm here. I want you to take some pills, because you're running a high fever, dude."

Dean looked at him, disbelief in his eyes.

"You're shitting, right? You woke me up for some kind of shit, like fever? Back off," Dean spat out and lay on the bed again.

Sam wasn't ready to give up.

"No, Dean, you're so gonna take it, or so help me God, I'll…"

"You will what, Sam?" Dean asked, narrowing eyes. "You're gonna do what? You're gonna feed it to me? Force me to take it? Or maybe you're gonna sing, until I wouldn't be able to take it anymore? You're gonna do what?"

Sam didn't say a word.

"See? You're not gonna do nothing. So back off, alright? I'm fine" Dean turned away and closed his eyes.

Sam suddenly went pissed.

"Sure you're fine, Dean," Sam said in a fake sweet voice. "And those pain attacks you're having, they are totally normal. Yeah, I know, Missouri told me. And I saw one myself. But what the hell am I talking about? You're fine! I don't know why I'm even here. I've got work to do and I'm going out. And if you're so okay, so get your ass out of bed and go do something useful, instead of lying on the bed all day, doing nothing." Sam ended with angry voice and stormed out of the room.

Dean took a deep breath in.

Sam knows about those attacks. But he doesn't look worried. He still thinks I'm useless. Yeah, I was right after all. He doesn't care about me.

Dean closed his eyes again, now full of tears, and prayed sleep to come faster.

Now he felt more broken inside than he already was.

.

.

Sam stormed out of the room.

He was pissed as hell. He didn't know where that anger came from, but he was furious. Dean was denying, that there's something wrong with him. He didn't want Sam to help him.

And Sam wanted to help Dean. But if he doesn't want his help, he won't be an ass and won't force it.

But then one thought occurred his mind.

Maybe Dean was just very tired and wanted some peace? He absolutely looked like crap. His head probably hurt like hell, if he took some aspirin earlier. He just woke up and first thing I did, was practically shout at him, telling him that he's just a burden. Shit.

"Fuck," Sam said.

Now he felt like shit himself.

"Jesus, what have I done?" Sam asked and headed back to Dean's room.

He entered the room, worried.

"Dean, I…" he started, but he went silent when he saw Dean's shoulders trembling. Then he heard a sob.

If Sam felt like shit before, now he felt like biggest asshole in the whole universe.

Dean was crying.

He was fucking crying, and it was Sam's fault.

"Dean, I'm… I'm sorry," he said with soft and guilty voice.

Dean said nothing.

"Dean, I didn't mean it. Dean, please, listen to me. Dean…"

He sobbed again.

"Just leave me, alone, Sam. Please. Leave me alone," Dean said brokenly.

Sam felt his heart sinking.

"Dean…"

"Just go away, Sam. I don't wanna see you. Go,'" Dean said with a fake strong voice, but still crying.

Sam didn't move.

He was shocked seeing Dean like this. Dean was never crying. Never. He was always the strong one. He was the rock. But now…

He tried again:

"Dean, please, listen, man…"

"No," Dean said quietly, his voice barely whisper, still not facing Sam. "No, Sam. Just… leave me alone. I'm tired… Go away."

Sam didn't move, again. He was in shock. But he wanted to ask one question.

"I'll go. Just answer one question. You are tired of what?" he asked softly.

There was a heavy silence for a long moment, Sam didn't expect to hear any answer. And then Dean turned his face to Sam and looked him straight in the eye. Tears still in his eyes, looking broken. Sam could see straight through his eyes into soul, and it was broken.

Dean looked at Sam for a moment, not saying anything. And then younger Winchester saw his lips moving and heard his voice, barely audible. He froze when he heard, what Dean had said.

"Of life..."