The forked
trunk and branches are
also a kind of necessary
prose—shingled with leaves,
pigment and song
imposed on the blunt
lineaments of fact, a foliage
of small birds among them
--The Apple Tree by Wendell Berry

Where the Wild Apples Grow
Chapter Eleven: In Which She Gives In

My books smelled weird; they didn't have the same musky scent. I think it was because they had been in boxes for over a week. Thankfully, the movers had already set up my book shelves up so I could get them out of their confining prisons. I patted each one in welcome as I set them up in alphabetical order.

When I was finished, my back ached, but I felt loads better. I put the empty boxes on top of each other and put them outside my door. I only had about seven more boxes to go. I started with the one labeled girl – figurines.

They were filled with a bunch of knick-knacks I had collected over the years. I lined them up carefully on the top of my dresser. When I was finished with that, I put the empty box and the wrapping paper out in the hall with the others.

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to put posters up, but I decided Aunt Esme wouldn't mind if I used tape instead of tacks. I knew I had some tape in my book bag, so I dug through there before putting the posters up in order, right next to each other. I had an Owl City poster, a Secondhand Serenade one, and a one that depicted a mysterious green forest.

I liked the last one the best.

Already my room was starting to look more like mine instead of a guestroom.

There were also some random crap that I didn't know what to do with, so I just put those in one box.

I put some extra clothes I found in one box in my dresser. When I sniffed them, they smelled like cardboard.

I happened to glance at the clock. It said that it was five-thirty. Dinner would be ready in about an hour. I decided to stop unpacking for now; I wanted to go outside for some tree time.

I needed my fix.

When I went downstairs, Aunt Esme was already cooking dinner. It smelled good.

"I'm going to go outside." I told her.

"Okay. I'll have Alice call you in when dinner's ready." She smiled at me.

I nodded and went out through the back patio. I took a deep breath of the air; it smelled fresh and nature-y. I felt myself relaxing as I walked down the steps. After some searching, I found some garden gloves. They were a little big, but they would do.

I entered the orchard, and it felt like the rest of the world falls away. It's just me and Mother Nature now. My fingers trailed against the barks of the apple trees as I walked to the back of the orchard. My excitement climbed higher as I came closer and closer.

And then I'm there.

She's there, in all her glory. Branches like wings spread out for me. My bruise ached, as if it knew that it was going to receive some more pain. But I smiled widely, a true smile. I stretched as high as I could, while scrambling against the thick and twisting roots. I winced when my leg knocked against the bark of the tree, but I lifted my leg against the bark and pulled with all my might.

I almost fell, but I quickly threw my leg over the branch. I smiled in deep satisfaction. It only took me one try to get up. I pulled off the garden gloves and clenched and unclenched them. I sighed and put them back on. I finished climbing almost all the way to the top.

It was freezing up this high. I shivered, trying to wrap my arms around myself while at the same time trying to keep my balance. It was a hard feat, but I managed.

God, the landscape was beautiful. Behind me, there was the house in all its glory. And behind the house, there were rolling hills with dark green trees that were shining against the setting sun. I looked back in the other direction.

Since I really didn't get a good look last time I was here – since Edward "interrupted" me – I paid more attention. It appeared the orchard was located on a small hill, as beyond the white fence, the ground sloped down to a small river. A few feet beyond the river, there was some farmland. I wondered who owned it.

A breeze came by, blowing right in my face. I shivered, but closed my eyes, feeling a deep calm falling over me.

Are you here Dad? I think I can feel you.

The wind blew harder in my face, and I felt tears fill my eyes. I wiped my snot against my shirt sleeve, smiling a little. It seemed like Dad was here. His quiet presence right beside me. I sighed and sat down on the branch, just listening to the quietness of the orchard. The softness of the branches swaying underneath my still form. I felt my eyes close in peace.

-----

I don't know when I became aware of the footsteps, or the female voice calling my name, "Bella! Bella! Where are you? It's time for dinner! Bella…!"

I yawned and stretched, holding onto the creaking branch with one hand. It seemed it was time to leave.

I have to go.

Cold, freezing wind was my answer. I bit my lip, shivering. I shook my hands, trying to get warmth back in them. I started to climb down carefully, slowly. When I reached the bottom branch, I jumped off, wincing at the impact on my ankles.

I took in a deep breath and followed the sound of Alice's voice.

----

"So how was school?" Aunt Esme asked as she passed around the chicken. Alice took some and handed the plate to me.

"It was great." Alice chattered. "Rose and I went to the volleyball court to start practicing for tryouts next week. The guys watched, of course." She stopped talking to take a bite of chicken. "Great job on the dinner, Mother."

Aunt Esme smiled. "Thank you, Al. So, Bella, how was your day?"

"Fine." I took the chicken platter, then a piece, and planted some on my mother's empty dish, which she was staring at. She glanced up at me, an empty look on her face, as if she didn't even know me.

It made me frightened.

I guess Aunt Esme was right; Mom was upset. I swallowed heavily and forced a smile at her.

She didn't smile back, merely looked back at her plate.

My smile fell and I went back to pushing my food around on my plate.

Aunt Esme seemed to sense the tense atmosphere. She tried talking about nothing topics: the weather, how the apple trees were doing, upcoming church activities, blah blah blah. I sighed heavily, glancing occasionally at my mother, who was not eating either.

Eventually, Aunt Esme petered out and the room fell silent.

The only sounds were the scraping of forks and knives against the plates. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"So I see the stuff came today." Alice finally said.

My mother stiffened. Aunt Esme shook her head in warning at Alice.

"What?" She whispered.

"Just hush, Alice." Aunt Esme ordered.

Alice gave me a confused look. I just shook my head at her, glancing at my mother. She shrugged and the room fell into silence once more.

Alice and I did the dishes, while Aunt Esme presumably went to talk to my mom. As she washed, she kept looking like she was about to say something, but never did. I kept quiet, waiting.

"What happened?" She finally busted out.

"Mom broke a frame. She's upset." I replied dully, looking at my reflection in the clean plate.

She gave a diplomatic grunt.

"So, are you going to wear your own clothes tomorrow?" Alice asked casually.

"I guess."

"Oh. Well, if you want to wear something of mine, go ahead." She smiled at me. I nodded my head at her.

When we finished, we went to our separate rooms, trying to ignore the muffled crying.

----

At school the next day, I ended up wearing my own clothes. Alice seemed a bit disappointed, but she complimented my worn jeans and my dad's old plaid shirt nicely. I left the house before my mother could see that I was wearing dad's clothes.

In the car, Aunt Esme announced that she wouldn't be driving us next week. Alice didn't seem surprised, so I guess that she said it for my benefit.

"I just have to start working on the orchard…pruning the branches, hiring workers to help. I don't want to bore you, so I won't get into detail. But next Monday you're going to either have to ride the bus or get a ride from someone else."

I sighed, my heart dropping in disappointment. I guess I knew this thing would be too good to be true.

"Okay, Bella?" Aunt Esme glanced back in the rearview mirror at me.

I gave a small grunt to acknowledge her.

"Alright then. I'll be a late after school, Alice. Unless you and Bella can find someone else to ride with you…?"

"Yeah, we can get Jasper to take use home." Alice said cheerfully.

"Okay." She pulled into the school's parking lot. "Here we are. Have a nice day girls." She smiled and waved at us as we got out. We watched as she drove away.

"I'll meet you at the front entrance after school, okay?" She asked me as she walked away to her friends.

"Okay." I whispered to no one.

----

I quickly went up to my homeroom, relieved that there was no sign of Jessica or Lauren. I leaned against the wall to wait for Mr. Mead to arrive. I watched quietly as students started coming up the stairs, walking within their cliques. They looked like they were having so much fun…

Mr. Mead arrived then, interrupting my observations.

He smiled at me. "Hello, Bella."

And I gave a half-smile back, because he was probably the only one at this school (besides Alice and her friends) who called me Bella.

"Hi." I replied shyly.

He nodded and unlocked his door, holding it open for me. He switched on the lights, and I went over to my desk and dropped my stuff on the floor. I took my seat and Mr. Mead started setting up everything for the day.

I watched the clock ticking slowly. I tried to block out Mr. Mead's movements, concentrating on the time passing. Students starting arriving when the big hand hit the minute before school officially started. Some people shouted greetings to Mr. Mead like they were old friends.

Eventually, everyone was seated but Jessica was seated.

"Hey, Bella." Angela grinned at me as she slid into her seat. "How was your day yesterday?"

I shrugged at her, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, me too." She laughed and got out a notebook and some pencils. "Hey, what class do you have after this?"

I was about to answer, when Jessica came in the door, looking flushed and out of breath. "Sorry," she said.

Mr. Mead merely nodded at her.

She walked past me, rolling her eyes and smiling.

I didn't do anything.

She frowned slightly and went back to sit in her seat.

Angela looked at me questioningly, but I shrugged at her again.

"Alright class. Time for attendance. Settle down. Mike, put the paper airplane away…"

------

Spanish was a slow affair. Ms. Goff went over all the rules again and then she handed out textbooks and workbooks. After that, she went over numbers with us. Uno, dos, tres…

Quiet easy, until I we went past ten. I was lost after that.

When Spanish ended, Jacob Black walked with me to my next class. I felt slightly uncomfortable with the way he leaned toward me as we walked. He was so warm. And he was a boy.

I felt myself blushing the whole way to Algebra.

Algebra went the same way much as Spanish did, except for one exception.

"Hey, Bella, do you think you could eat lunch with me today?" Angela asked pleadingly. She smiled at me, biting her lip.

"Why?" I asked cautiously. I think I already knew my answer would be yes; I remembered the aloneness I felt yesterday when I went to go throw my food away. The way the familiar banter flowed naturally. I felt like a rock in the middle of their rushing river.

"Oh, you know." She shrugged, looked around slyly, and lowered her tone. "It'd be nice to have you there…with Jessica and Lauren. You know."

I bit my lip. "I…guess."

She squealed quietly. "Thank you so much. It'll be so much fun with you there!"

"I just have to tell my cousin that I'm sitting with you guys." I said quietly, pulling out my stuff for class.

"Of course. Just be sure to sit with us!" Angela gently nudged me in the stomach, and straightened to attention when Mr. Philips walked in.

-----

On the way to lunch, I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach whenever I did something new. I bet I'd be getting a full-fledged police interrogation…done by curious teenagers.

Curious teenagers killed the Bella.

I sighed heavily as I walked with Angela inside. I searched for Alice, but of course she wasn't there yet. I told Angela to wait a moment that I had to go deliver a message.

"We go sit in that corner over there." Angela pointed and I nodded in assent.

"Be right there."

"Just sit wherever you want!" She called out as I walked away and over to Rosalie.

I heard her light giggles from a few feet away. I stood behind her for a second, shifting from foot to foot, before finally just tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

She turned around, scowling. But her face smoothed out when she saw it was me. "Oh, hi Bella. What is it?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm going to go sit…" I thought for the right word, before finally just saying, "I'm not going to sit here today."

She frowned. "Did we do something?"

"No. But, you know." I shrugged.

She nodded. "You want me to tell Alice?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem. See you in gym." She smiled and turned back around.

I frowned. Rosalie was in my gym class? I didn't remember seeing her there, I thought as I walked over to Angela's table. Nobody else was there yet; I searched for Angela, and saw that she was in the long lunch line.

I sighed and slid into a seat near the edge. I pulled out my brown paper bag from my backpack – an applesauce cup and some apple juice. I heard the click-clack of high heeled shoes coming closer.

I sighed.

"Bella, what are you doing over here?" Alice frowned down at me, her arms around Jasper's waist.

He looked like he could care less.

"I was…just…going to sit…with some friends?" I replied timidly, looking down at the floor. Alice's expression was fierce.

"Oh, and you weren't going to tell me?" I studied her expression; she looked worried.

"Sorry." I shrugged and turned back to my food.

"Jazz, will you go get some food for us?" Alice asked quietly. He grunted, I heard a kiss, and then Jasper walking away.

"Bella, I was just worried…that you had another…you know."

"An emotional breakdown?" I asked tonelessly, stabbing my straw through the stupid hole.

"Well…yes." I heard Alice come closer; today she smelled like strawberries and bananas.

I turned back around to look at her. "It's okay Alice. You don't have to take care of me all the time."

Alice bit her lip. "It's just…I promised Mom…and I care about you."

I felt my face softening. "It's –"

I was interrupted by a loud squeal. Two actually.

"Alice! Hey!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly.

Alice rolled her eyes at me and turned to face them. "Hey, chicas."

"Oh hey!"

I sighed and turned back around, trying to ignore their chattering. Alice's light touch on my back was her good-bye. Jessica and Lauren whispered amongst themselves before finally sitting down.

They both had gotten salads, chips, and low-fat milk.

Jessica stared at my food – or lack thereof – for a while before commenting.

"How can you eat so little?" She asked curiously, looking at me incredulously.

"I'm…not that hungry." I shrugged. I couldn't explain to her that if I felt like I ate too much, I might throw up. That I didn't really have an appetite since my dad died…

Lauren's voice interrupted me then, thankfully. "I wish I could do that. Just eat nothing. I'd be so skinny."

"I know, right? I'm so jealous." Jessica looked desolately at her salad. "But I can't help it. I get so hungry."

I looked between the two of them, brows furrowed. "But you guys aren't fat."

"Shut up." They said at the same time, and began giving me an extensive list of their faults.

I was completely overwhelmed, and I gratefully saw that Angela and everyone else was headed our way.

"Hey, Bella." Angela said as she sat next to me. "Sorry, but that line was so dang long."

"I know!" A girl said as she sat across from Angela. "So annoying." She spotted me. "Oh, hi. I'm Samantha." She held out her hand for me to take. I cautiously took it and shook it quickly. She smiled at me. "Nice to meet you."

I nodded at her, trying to ignore her curious stares.

Actually, trying to ignore all the curious stares.

Right then, I kind of wished I had my old friend Nessie with me. I had to leave her behind when I moved to Winston. That sort of made her sound like some beloved toy that was too big to take with me, but that wasn't the case at all. And while we had not been best friends, her quiet, reassuring presence would have soothed me from all the ogling faces.

I couldn't but glance at Alice's table, where everyone seemed perfectly happy without my presence.

I sighed heavily and watched the table for the rest of the lunch period, trying to ignore the stabbing in my stomach.

-----

The rest of the day passed slowly.

Drama class. I definitely had to change it.

In P.E., it turned out that Rosalie was in that class. But she was a teacher's assistant, so I wouldn't really be seeing her much. She helped grade and stuff and not much else. Lauren was in that class as well, and it kind of hard to ignore her staring at my body.

I decided I would change in the stalls after that.

----

When the bell rang, I was out of there faster than a lightening bug.

Don't ask me where I got the phrase. Long story.

Aunt Esme was there, and I felt crushed that this was the last week she would be driving us.

And then I would have to ride the bus.

Great.

All I could say was that I'm glad it's Wednesday, and the week is almost over.

Sorry for the slow update! Thank you guys for all the reviews!
If I didn't reply, it's because I get all confused. I'm not exactly sure how to reply or if I already replied, but I WILL figure it out. I promise! :)
Don't worry you guys, there will be E/B. It's a "slow burn". It'll take a while for them to get there.
As for now, well...let's just watch Bella flail. Haha.
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As always, tell me what you think! :)