Hey guys, so my birthday went great : ) so that is good. I am so sorry about all the sad but it gets better! I decided to make this longer than I innitally intended so… yay? If you have any thoughts please let me know… thank you all so much for your comments already and for tagging along on this emotional story :D I will totally admit I cried reading last chapter and this one! Hate doing this to poor Edd! And Kevin…. He has anger issues lol
Anyway thank you!
Chapter 11
Eddy's POV
"Where the hell is sock head?!" I yell at Ed, we are on his step pounding on his door, we have stuff to do on Saturdays and he is gone.
"Maybe he was eaten by the creature from the blue lagoon!" Ed yells and I just roll my eyes. I look over at Nazz's house and smile when I see her in the window waving me over.
"Ed, go home I have somewhere to be." I say and start for Nazz's house.
"Ok Eddy, I'll find a way to save Double D!" He says and runs to his house. I smile and go to the back of Nazz's house. I go in the door and she comes around and hugs me. I hug back and kiss her cheek.
"How are you babe?" I ask and she smiles kissing my lips.
"I am fine, but little stressed."
"Why?" I ask frowning.
"Didn't you hear? Double D was beat up in the locker room. Thankfully I saw the guy grab him and ran to get Kevin." She says and grabs my hand, pulling me to the couch.
"Why Kevin?" I ask suspiciously. I had noticed the looks Edd would give him and the looks Kevin would give Edd. I don't know what is happening but it's strange.
"o-oh um well. Kevin was the only person I thought could help at the time." She said and shrugged. She pushes me on the couch and straddles me. I smile and place my hands on her hips.
"Frisky huh?" I ask and I lean to suckle a little on her neck and she moans slightly.
"I just really need this right now. I really need you." She says and I kiss her lips.
"You will always have me baby."
2 weeks later
Edds POV
No time for goodbye he said
As he faded away
Don't put your life in someone's hands
They're bound to steal it away
Don't hide your mistakes
Lying in bed missing school, again. This is the third day in these last two weeks I haven't been to school. I just can't get the courage to go. I have never missed a single day before now… and all because of a boy. So here I am, lying in bed listening to depressing music again. Singing along in a not so lovely voice.
If I stay it won't be long
'Til I'm burning on the inside
If I go I can only hope
That I make it to the other side
If you want to get out alive
'God, all I want is Kevin to hold me and tell me it's going to be ok.' I feel myself start to cry again. I have been crying so much, I did not even think it is possible to cry so much. 'I'll have to continue drinking more water to keep me hydrated.' I think as I decide to change the song.
I loved you, you made me hate me,
You gave me hate see?
It saved me and these tears are deadly!
I've never been into the hard rock/metal stuff but this song has undoubtedly spoken to me these last weeks. Especially with what I have been doing to myself. But I just can't stop, the pain, it feels so amusing sometimes.
These lungs have sung this song for too long
And it's true I hurt to remember I loved you.
I just cannot get away from him. Not Kevin, Kevin has left me alone which is good. I don't want him to get into more trouble than I have already caused him. I just wish I could get him out of my head. No. The him I mean is Trey, the bully. The football player… the aggressor. He hasn't left me alone since that day in the locker room. He will walk up to me and grab my crotch in front of everyone but no one ever notices.. No one ever cares. He is the reason I don't want to go to school.
How could you do this to me,
Look at what I made for you, it never was enough
And the world is what I gave you.
I used to be love struck now I'm just fucked up
Pull up the sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts.
And so I do. I look at all the scars on my arm, all from this last week and I think about how I've been trying to get Trey to be kinder to me. There is nothing I could do to stop what he is doing to me. But he is so rough, and so cruel. He hasn't.. Well raped me yet thankfully but that is why I am out of school today.
"Tomorrow little fairy, I am going to make that ass mine you got that?" Trey said and so here I am… hiding at home. But I can't hide forever. I have no one to help me. No one who cares.
I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same.
I'm sorry oh, sorry no
I've been abused, I feel so used-
My song is interrupted by a pounding on my downstairs door. It is too early for anyone in school, so I go down to answer it. I don't even bother grabbing a shirt because it is probably just a post office guy. I run down stairs in just my pajama pants and open the door.
"Finally sock head I was beginning to…" Eddy says before he looks down at my chest, and then my arm, which is bleeding from what I was doing upstairs. I panic and slam the door shut. I need to be more careful but now eddy knows.
"I-I am sorry E-Eddy, I cut myself while cooking, please excuse me!" I scream through the door and run up to the bathroom to wash my arm off. By the time I get back down stairs Eddy is not in front. I sigh and go sit down on the couch and cry.
Kevin's POV
I haven't been thinking. I have been concentrating everything I have into sports. I have been running, sweating, and studying harder than I ever have and ever will again. It keeps my mind from thinking. All I want to do is go to Edd and hold him and kiss him. No! Shut the fuck up Kevin you stupid idiot!' I think and run harder around the track. Practice ended an hour ago but I felt like I needed to run a little more. Get up my stamina or whatever. I sigh and begin to run to the locker room. That's when I see Nazz. I stop and she runs to me, she looks like she has been crying.
"Dude! What the fuck is going on with you and Edd?!" She screams. I shake my head in confusion and then I feel angry. I haven't been talking to anyone so I guess she doesn't know.
"There is nothing going on. He told me to leave him alone and I am." I say and start to walk away.
"He has been missing school." She says and I stop dead in my tracks. Double D? The Double D missing school? No fucking way.
"What do you mean?" I ask her silently begging her to be wrong.
"He was gone to day and he missed two days last week. You have class with him? Don't you fucking pay attention?" She yells at me crying again.
"I am not his fucking baby sitter why should I care anyway. He told me to fuck off so I am!" I yell back and take off to the locker room. I slam my fist into the wall and try to calm down. Why should I care right? He left me! I was there and helped him and he left me! Whatever… it's not like I loved him… right?