Should there be a trigger warning for a shit-ton of emotion? Because yikes, guys...

Chapter Eleven

Akko was still seething when she stopped running. Her chest was heaving, her head was pounding, and her palms were bleeding from her clenched fists. She barely even registered where her feet had unconsciously led her, and once she did realize she hardly even cared. She had just needed to get away. Away from the window into a perfect life that she could never have, away from the girl who was luring her through said window like a siren led sailors to their demise. With a huff, she looked up at the building before her. It was barely standing, its windows were boarded up, paint was peeling off the door, trash lined the alley, and the streetlamp on the corner flickered like it would give out any second.

This was where she belonged: Amongst all the filth and darkness; where dreams go to die, not be born.

Once her heart slowed to a calmer rhythm, she squared her shoulders, wiped her hands on her jeans, clenched her jaw, and opened the door. The smell of drugs and alcohol immediately pervaded her senses, and she could hear the token profanities and blaring TV coming from down the hall. She robotically walked towards the ruckus.

"Yo, Akko!" Amanda greeted, only sounding marginally surprised to see her. "Come to chill?"

"Blow off some steam, more like," Akko grumbled as she approached, hands stuffed deep in her hoodie pocket.

"Totally get it, dude, totally get it." Amanda led her into a small adjacent room which seemed to serve as the bar. Every available surface was taken up by some kind of liquor. The redhead snapped her fingers at the three girls standing by a table and ushered them out, giving her and Akko the room. "Can I make you anything? Wanna do some shots?"

"Tequila," Akko answered instantly, partially unaware she had even done so. Who cared. She felt numb and wanted to feel even more so.

"Hardcore today, aren't we?" Amanda quipped with a smirk.

"Just shut up and pour."

She chuckled as she grabbed two cracked shot glasses and filled them with Akko's drink of choice.

"I like you pissed off," she japed as she handed a glass to Akko.

Their glasses clinked together before both of them downed the drinks, Akko immediately reaching for the bottle of tequila and pouring herself another shot. That was quickly followed by two more. Amanda looked on with a raised eyebrow before finally having the decency to look the slightest bit concerned.

"Dude," she said with a nervous laugh, "take it easy. You don't go hard like the rest of us, this stuff'll fuck you up big time."

"Good," Akko grumbled.

She started to pour what would have been her fifth shot when Amanda, seeing the brunette's shaking hands and increasing glazed look in her eyes, snatched the bottle away and replaced it with a can of beer. Akko glared at her briefly before shrugging and walking out of the room.

She would never know of the emptiness and lack of care that Amanda had seen in her eyes, its intensity so great and dark that it had even caused the hardened rebel to shiver.

Akko walked out of the room to find most of the girls had deserted the room. The deeply rooted reasonable Akko sighed in relief; at least her pitiful display wouldn't be seen by too many. She collapsed on the couch, stretching out its length and opening her beer. Before long, Amanda joined her, lifting her legs up only briefly before they were falling into the redhead's lap.

"So," the other girl said. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Another answer devoid of any emotion.

"Uh, maybe your sudden love of drinking? Why you sound like a creepy AI thing from those sci-fi movies?"

Akko just shrugged and took another swig of her beer, pointedly ignoring Amanda's bewildered gaze.

"I know something's wrong, Akko," Amanda added with a roll of her eyes. "You don't just show up here of your own free will. Ever."

Akko let her eyes flicker over to Amanda for only a second before she was looking again at the far wall. "I just…" She closed her mouth, her face twisting as she tried to put her thoughts into words. How was she supposed to express the turmoil going on inside her? How did you put a name to the constant overwhelming feel of unworthiness? Still glowering at the wall, she posed, "Do you ever feel…angry at your situation?"

Amanda arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Akko huffed. Here it goes…

"Like… Surely you want more than this in life?" She gestured to the decrepit area around them. "Do you think you…deserve it?"

Amanda chuckled once more. "Akko, I don't even deserve this little hellhole. On that note, what makes you think anyone deserves anything?" As Akko finally looked her way, she grinned. "Do all the billionaires in the world deserve that wealth? Do the terminally ill deserve their condition? Life's what you make it. If you go through it thinking you do or don't deserve certain things, you'll never get anywhere; you'll never really live."

Akko didn't respond, instead choosing to remain silent as she idly turned her can of beer in her hands, gnawing on her lip all the while. Amanda rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time.

"What brought about this depressing outlook on life?"

Yet again, Akko shrugged. "I don't know. I met someone and she's… Part of me feels like I don't," she looked to Amanda with a guilty smile, "deserve her friendship. Like, I'm just this street kid who no one's ever loved and she's…"

"Don't you dare say perfect," Amanda cut in with a cringe. "I'm gonna stop you right there, dude, and stop saying that damn d-word. You may live on the streets and she could be the fanciest schmanciest lady that ever lived, but you don't not deserve her friendship, and she doesn't deserve someone 'better.' Does she know?"

Akko nodded this time. "I told her," she mumbled.

"Have you seen her since?"

Another nod.

"Then clearly you're doing something right even being homeless," Amanda told her. "Just because you have the shit end of the stick now doesn't mean you have to carry it around with 'ya the rest of your life."

"What about you?" Akko asked, watching as Amanda snagged the beer from Akko and took a quick sip. "Have you ever tried…passing the torch or whatever?"

"No, but unlike you, apparently, I'm happy as things are. I've got a cool crew of people around me, and even though it isn't any mansion, I've got a roof above my head. Yeah, I steal and get into trouble, and maybe I should actually try and stop that, but I'm young. We're young. You've got time to change, Akko."

Akko sat up, but had now turned her gaze to the floor. After a while of ruminating thoughts, she downed the rest of her beer in a single gulp and looked to Amanda with a small smirk.

"When did you turn into a philosopher?"

Amanda took a turn to stretch out now, one shoe coming up to kick Akko's chin lightly before coming to rest in Akko's lap this time.

"I've got many talents you're unaware of." She reached into a cooler by the couch and pulled out two more beers, tossing one to Akko. "Now, come on. Drink that, loosen up some more, and let's wreck each other in a video game or something. I hate getting all sentimental like this."

She made to get up when Akko spoke again, her voice quiet, but filled with the most emotion since she had arrived.

"So you're…happy?"

Amanda looked to Akko.

"I am."

Akko closed in on herself as her knuckles turned white from her grip on her beer.

"And you're not."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I just… I want more, Amanda. Maybe you're right; maybe I don't deserve it, and no one deserves anything, but is it wrong to think like that? I've fought every day of my life, even when I lived at that damn orphanage. It's hard. I just… I just want a…f-family. I want someone to l-love me."

She was aggressively wiping away tears as Amanda came to sit beside her again. A hand came to rest on her head, Amanda ruffling the hair atop it along with her response.

"You have people who love you, dude," she tried her best to convince. "Look at those two cops who are always looking after you. I wish I had someone like that, you know? But I don't, and you do. And your new friend? I dunno about love, but if she didn't leave you after learning about your situation, I'd say she's someone pretty special, and I haven't even met her."

Akko sniffed, but didn't reply.

"And I know we don't have much, and you may not feel like you belong, and I know I've given you hell ever since we met, but you know you have a family here, right? I know it's not the storybook picket fence and a dog shtick, but it's something. These girls are family to me, and they could be to you if you really wanted it."

Finally, a small smile found purchase on Akko's lips, although it could have just been the alcohol finally taking effect, her vision was becoming a bit hazy.

"Thanks, Amanda."

Amanda patted her back with a chuckle. "Seriously this time though… Mario Kart or Smash? I think I've had enough mushy-gushy to last me a lifetime."

"Mario Kart sounds good."

A controller came flying at Akko and she haphazardly tried to catch it. She blinked and shook her head, squinting at the TV which sat only a few feet away.

She was going to get creamed.

"You asked for it, dude," Amanda laughed.

They spent quite some time mindlessly—in Akko's case, anyway—playing video games. Akko wasn't even quite sure how much time even passed, everything had long since become a blur as she unwisely continued to accept the beers Amanda was handing her. Akko didn't even know how she could possibly be any fun to be playing against. She kept running into walls and forgetting to hold down the gas button in Mario Kart, and she kept walking right off the arena in Smash Bros without Amanda having to deal a single blow. The redhead, meanwhile, was having a time with it if her laughter was anything to go by. Akko supposed it probably was amusing to an outsider. She was still coherent enough to realize she was making an absolute fool out of herself.

But her mind was clear of any negative feelings and all that was present instead was a pleasant hum, so it was still mission accomplished in Akko's eyes. She couldn't even remember why she had come here in the first place.

After seeing Kirby fall to its death for what had to be the twentieth time, Akko huffed and let the controller drop to the floor.

"I'm done, dude," she slurred, closing her eyes as she let her head rest on the back of the couch. "I dunno how you can even tell what you're doing in this game."

Amanda scoffed as she plopped down beside Akko. "I believe we already established how much of a lightweight you are, Akko," she teased. "Learn to hold your liquor and then we'll have a rematch."

"I've had like five shots and a hundred beers!" Akko cried. "You're lucky I'm not passed out on the floor right now!"

"You've had four shots and six beers," Amanda corrected while rolling her eyes. "That may be some outstanding record to you, but it's nothing to write home about here. Any of my girls could have you beat easy."

Akko mirrored Amanda's eye roll and replied as she stood, "Well, whatever. I accomplished what I came here to do-."

"And what was that?" Amanda guffawed at the brunette's stumble to her feet. "To get shitfaced?"

Akko glared. "-so I'm heading home." Seeing Amanda's grin, she added, "And I don't need an escort."

The redhead shrugged, watching Akko fumble her way to the door. "Suit yourself. Just don't get caught by Finneran and come whining to me."

Flipping Amanda the bird, Akko made her way out of the building...

And promptly threw up upon getting outside.

"Eugh," she grimaced as she wiped her mouth, "that probably wasn't my best idea."

Despite her route basically being a straight shot down eight blocks, the trip tonight seemed much more tedious. Drink heavy in her stomach, hard liquor and beer mingling together, her mind was thick with fog as she navigated the streets. Her eyelids were drooping, and the stoop of an abandoned building never looked more inviting. Still, part of her urged her on; she would kick herself in the morning if she found out she failed to make it the short distance home.

Still, as her shoulder scraped up against the brick wall of a building, she blinked her weighted eyes open. Miraculously, she had made it to the busy intersection that marked the halfway point of her journey. She watched the cars blurring by with a dopey look before attempting to shake herself out of the haze that surrounded her.

She took a single step onto the street before a car horn blaring had her falling backwards from the shock. The noise reverberated in her head, adding more salt to her many wounds, and she clenched her jaw. She stayed on the ground a moment longer until she couldn't see any lights coming at her.

She tried again.

Another single step forward before her own equilibrium betrayed her and she fell forward this time. She caught herself on hands and knees and couldn't even feel the pain of the asphalt beneath her. She was becoming frustrated now, any lingering high from her binge leaving her. Why was this so difficult?

It was there, on all fours in the middle of a dark street, that a single image of blonde hair and searching blue eyes flashed in her mind. Akko grit her teeth as a single tear trailed down her cheek, her burning eyes a tell of many more to come. Self-hate and guilt were knocking at the door again; it was only a matter of time before they broke in.

What was the point?

She was a waste of space.

Disheartened and defeated, Akko let go from the cliff she had been clinging to the past several years of her life and fell. She didn't care what was waiting for her down below.

The darkness swallowed her.

B... ...ep...

Bee... B...p...

Her body felt like lead. Her breath was hot against her own face. There was a persisting tingle in her forearm. An annoying pressure on her finger that wouldn't cease.

...eep... Beep...

Beep... Beep...

And that repetitive sound was so grating.

But she couldn't get her eyes to open, her lids felt glued shut.

She groaned.

"Akko?"

She could feel a presence beside her now but still couldn't open her eyes. The voice was hauntingly familiar and Akko simply wanted to succumb to it. She tried to speak this time but her throat was so dry it hurt. All that ended up manifesting was a very unflattering hack.

"Should we get the doctor?"

That voice again, bleeding with concern. Akko still couldn't quite place it, but she accepted its being as her guardian angel. They were with her through this harrowing—and quickly becoming terrifying—experience. Akko flexed her hand.

A feather-light touch graced her palm then, its movements hesitant. Akko reached again and then her hand was surrounded with reassuring warmth.

"I'm right here, Akko."

The warmth spread through her body and chased away the overbearing weight that had been pressing on her chest. Her hand twitched before successfully capturing something in her grasp.

Her eyelids fluttered briefly before they were blinking tentatively, the bright artificial lighting of the room blinding her temporarily.

"Akko!"

Her eyes lazily moved to the left of her before widening substantially. She attempted to speak again, but something pressed over her mouth was keeping her from doing so. Panicking, all she could do was cough.

"Hold on, Akko!" Careful hands pulled the air mask away from her face before Akko was choking on the air she was gasping so heavily. "Easy, easy... Just breathe, Akko. Breathe."

Her breathing slowly went back to a normal measure, the scare over. She was awake and...

In a hospital room?

Taking a quick inventory of her body, she saw she had been changed into the standard hospital gown. There was an IV in her left arm—the source of the tingle, she guessed—and a pulse monitor on her right index finger—the constant pressure.

"Here," the voice from before cut in gently. A plastic cup was being offered to her. "Drink this. It would best if you drank all of it."

Her shaky hands tipped the proffered cup towards her chapped lips and she greedily sucked it down. Water had never tasted so good or been so healing. She was in so much bliss that she ignored the substantial amount of it that missed her mouth and dribbled down her gown instead.

Cup emptied, Akko met relieved blue eyes and smiled.

"D-Diana."

The blonde beside her held her composure together for only a second longer before a sob escaped her and she lunged towards Akko. Akko was engulfed in a hug that somehow managed to be soft enough not to injure her, but still felt like a bear hug at the same time.

"We were so worried about you."

"We?" Akko echoed once Diana had pulled back, the blonde's cheeks red no doubt from her outburst.

Letting her eyes trail to the foot of her bed then, Akko saw two familiar faces. She didn't know whether to break out into a grin, or cower in fear.

"H-Hey, Officer du Nord. Croix."

Both women, while looking relieved, still managed to stare Akko down in such a way that she gulped.

"What do you remember, Akko?" Croix asked, arms crossed and jumping right into the thick of things as she always did.

"Um..." Akko trailed off, looking around the room meekly. Now even Diana was glaring subtly at her. "I- uh..."

"You ran away," Diana supplied with a hint of bite. "You left me in a library worried over the fact that I had made you so upset. You left me in a library feeling hurt; like a door had just slammed shut in my face."

Akko looked down at the bed sheets covering her lap shamefully, her fingers running over the fabric as a means of comfort.

"I-I'm...sorry, Diana..."

Diana looked down at her own lap as well where her hands were wringing together. Akko's heart began to break as she saw two tears trail down alabaster cheeks.

"I just wanted to help..." she mumbled brokenly.

Akko now clenched the sheets in her hands, trying to get her emotions under control. She had never heard Diana sound so...distraught. Guilt ravaged her, but more emotions wanted in on the action as well. Anger, frustration, longing, and fear were all present as well, and all were begging to be released, clamoring over each other to be expelled first.

Akko clenched her eyes shut.

She felt a weight settle on her bed by her hip and a tender hand traced her cheek. When she opened them, Chariot was sitting beside her on her right, token loving smile glowing. The woman's thumb brushed a tear away gently.

Akko came undone.

There was no way to adequately describe what she was feeling; what she had always felt for as long as she could remember. All she knew was that it was all self-deprecating, and it had beat her down every day until she became desensitized to it and it become her new normal.

"I just feel so...so w-worthless," she openly wept as Diana and Croix joined Chariot on different spots on Akko's bed, Diana's hand in hers and stroking her knuckles while Croix rubbed her knee. "B-But then you guys s-still treat me like I-I'm someone sp-special and I just don't know h-how or why. I b-break the law all the time but my b-best friends are cops!" She looked to both Chariot and Croix, though neither said anything, choosing instead to let Akko get everything off her chest. They would have their turn later.

Akko then looked to Diana, who offered a tentative crooked smile. "T-Then I met you, D-Diana and..." She sniffed, her hand trembling in the other's. "I met you and y-you...you're the person I w-wish so badly I could be. S-Sure, you're life's not perfect, but you s-still are in my eyes and I just... I enjoy h-hanging out and being t-together, but it...it also just h-hurts so bad. And then I talked to A-Amanda about w-what we deserve in l-life, and even though s-she disagrees, I just can't stop feeling like I don't d-deserve a-anything.

"I'm just some homeless punk who never has more than twenty dollars to her name." Akko had calmed a bit now, but now that the sobbing had subsided, that feeling of emptiness was back. She didn't know which one she preferred. "I break the law regularly, I eat out of trashcans, I'm going nowhere in life..." She shrugged, pulling her hand from Diana's as she brought her knees up to her chest. "Why do I deserve any of the kindness you all have shown me? What's there about me to like?"

The room fell into silence then. A few straggler tears fell from Akko's eyes as they carefully analyzed the three individuals before her. Each of them had tears of their own in their eyes, and for the life of her, Akko couldn't figure out why. All that came to mind was pity, and that had her choking on another sob at the realization.

"I guess I'm just afraid you all have stuck around out of pity," she mumbled.

That got Chariot's attention.

"Akko!" she scolded.

"No!" Diana added, voice cracking at the end from the strain.

"Then why?" Akko asked, and this time there were no words tinged with darkness, no looming self-deprecation, just an honest question filled with nothing but pure disbelief.

Chariot's stern look morphed back into a smile. "You are far too hard on yourself, Akko," she said. "And while I understand where that mentality comes from, I wish for it not to consume you, for there are so many other qualities about you that are the reasons everyone in this room loves you."

"You've had a hard life, kiddo, we know that," Croix added. "But that doesn't mean you have to be so hard on yourself as well."

"It's not something that's going to change overnight, we know that; but please. Akko," Diana chimed in, "you have to start by respecting yourself."

"And please don't ever mistake our willingness to help you as pity," Chariot pleaded. "The only thing we pity is that you can't yet see why you are worth it."

Akko looked to Croix next since it appeared they were taking turns addressing her. Croix flashed her usual cocky smile, and Akko felt the knot inside her start to unbind just the slightest bit.

"You're stuck with us," the older cop said. "I don't think I could devote this much heart to someone even if I did pity them."

"Croix!"

Diana chuckled softly before taking her turn. Once more, she took Akko's hand.

"I didn't even know your situation when we met," she started. "It wasn't your homelessness that led me to befriend you, Akko; it was you. You're so much more than you think you are, and I know it's a hard habit to break, but you can't keep comparing yourself to the success of others. That's what I had been doing all my life; comparing my footsteps with those of my ancestors. But once I was shown I didn't have to conform, that there was no use comparing my successes to people who will never even see them, that I was free to live my life...that's when I truly came alive."

Her hand tightened around Akko's her eyes seeking out Akko's own. Cool ocean waves of blue spread to overbearing pools of red magma and began dousing the heat that had been engulfing Akko's heart.

"You taught me that, Akko."

Finally, a small shy smile flickered onto Akko's lips. It was brief, but it was there, and it was real.

"I did?"

Diana's smile was large and prominent as she nodded with certainty.

"You did."

Akko bit her lip as she looked down at her covered lap once more, although she refused to relinquish Diana's hand this time. Her brows furrowed and her brain worked furiously to comprehend all that had been revealed to her.

She still found it hard to believe. Good things didn't happen to her. She wasn't supposed to feel happy.

But why? Why did she believe that to be so certain that even the words of the three people that meant the most to her still couldn't get through?

"Like Diana said," Chariot spoke up once more, "we don't expect you to change your way of thinking overnight; we have no right to expect that of you. We always knew something was constantly troubling you, Akko, and while I wish you had told us sooner under better circumstances, I'm glad to know the truth now. Especially because it was on your own terms."

"To an extent, I guess," Akko mumbled, eliciting a small laugh from all four of the room's inhabitants. "I wouldn't call a confession after being plastered 'on my own terms.'"

"Then, please, Akko," Diana said, "next time you feel troubled like this come to us. I can't imagine the baggage you carry, but please know that we are here for you. We just want you to be happy and see yourself how we see you."

Flushing, Akko glanced briefly to Diana before mumbling, "And how's that?"

Diana smirked, her hand grasping Akko's tightly one last time.

"Strong," she uttered, causing Akko to suppress a shiver.

"Independent," Chariot added.

"A firecracker," Croix tacked on, smirking herself. "But in the best way."

Another small laugh escaped Akko before she wiped at her damp eyes.

"Thanks you guys," she said in a wavering tone. "I'm sorry I...had you all worried. And that I've been...difficult in the past. I'll try and do better."

"And that's all we can ask," Chariot told her before leaning into hug her. Akko let go of Diana's hand only then.

By the time Chariot had pulled back, Croix put her hand on the woman's shoulder and sent her a particular look. Akko looked back and forth between her friends.

"What?" she asked.

With a nod from Croix, Chariot let out a big breath before reaching into the pocket of her police jacket. Croix scooted closer to Chariot and Akko as she did.

"We...have something to tell you, Akko," Chariot began, Akko's stomach rising to her throat at the nervous edge to the cop's voice. "We could never decide the best time to bring it up, but..."

"Seeing that you feel at your lowest point, I think it's finally time you heard it from us."

Akko looked to Diana briefly who looked just as confused as she did.

"Is it...bad?"

Both women broke out into shaky laughter and looked to each other.

"Of course not," Chariot answered, and Akko could see her fingering a piece of tri-folded paper in her hands now. "We just hope it's something you would want as much as Croix and I do."

With one last glance at her partner, and a final nod from Croix, Chariot handed Akko the paper.

Akko didn't know why her heart was pounding so fast, or why she felt so on edge that she could throw up again. Her hands were shaking as she unfolded the paper.

Croix took Chariot's hand in a fierce grip.

Diana leaned to peer curiously over Akko's shoulder.

Akko's breath got stuck in her throat.

Her eyes widened.

REQUEST FOR ADOPTION

Child's Name: Akko Kagari

Adoptive Parent(s) Name: Chariot du Nord and Croix Meridies

So, many of you wanted this outcome, but how many actually thought it would happen? ;)