Chapter Ten

Lee paced the room while he waited. Just over an hour had passed, and it was the longest of his life. Helo had left him alone, perhaps sensing Lee's need to be by himself. He was in an empty store room across the hall from the sick bay. He'd wedged the door open just enough to see out, but hung back, away from it. He wanted to be alone. Though he didn't want to, he couldn't stop himself from playing the scene over and over in his mind, always coming back to the conclusion that he was somehow to blame.

He shouldn't have allowed her to drink. He should have known that there was something wrong with her earlier. She'd been pale and listless for weeks, but he'd just written it off to her drinking and the stress of training new pilots. He should have found out what was making her drink in the first place. Whichever way he looked at it, he was to blame.

His self-recrimination was brought to an abrupt halt as one of the nurses bolted into the hall, eyes red with unshed tears, hands shaking. Lee raced after her, mind jumping to the only conclusion he could make. Kara was dead. Oh god, he felt tears build in his own eyes as that thought took over his brain. His knees felt weak, and his voice was shaky as he called after the nurse.

"Lucy! Wait!" He yelled down the corridor. She stopped, leaning against the wall as he caught up with her.

"Is she dead?" Lee asked. "Please, just tell me. Is she dead?" He closed his eyes as he waited for the answer. Part of him wanted to walk away, deny the fact that the woman he loved could be dying… could be leaving him.

"Oh, god no, Lee, she's alive. She's fighting so hard… so very hard." A sob stole her voice for a moment, and she composed herself with difficulty. "She's in so much pain, Lee, and she's still fighting to live. I've never seen anyone with so much will to live."

"Why are you crying?" Lee asked gently. His own eyes were burning with the tears that he was holding back. He looked awful. His skin was grey from fatugue and lack of sleep. The dark circles under his eyes were as dark as his hair. Fine tremors raced through his hands, from stress and exhaustion. His uniform was creased, unfastened at the neck while his hair was a mass of wild spikes where he had been dragging his hands through it.

"She's my friend. We play cards… she always beats me. We swap books... Do out laundry together. She took me under her wing when I first came on the ship. I'd been cornered in the mess by a group of men… she kicked their asses and smiled while she was doing it." A sad smile hovered around her mouth as she remembered her first meeting with Kara. It died quickly away, melting like ice into the tears running down the young nurse's face. Lucy pulled in a long, shuddering breath. "I can't bear to see her like this."

Lee reached out, laid a hand on her shoulder. "She'll be okay. She'll be back to the annoying Starbuck we all know and love." He said aiming for levity and knowing he was failing by an ocean. He felt choked, impossibly sad… and angry, so angry at the gods that Kara had give so much too, only to have everything stripped away from her.

Lucy raised her tear filled green eyes to Lee's. "No, she won't Lee. We can't find a match. There's not one on the ship… the doc wants to start testing the fleet, but there's not enough time." She sobbed again, burying her head in her hands. Instinctively, Lee pulled her to him, wrapping her in a hug until her tears died down a little. His mind noted that she was shorter than Kara, and thinner too.

Dread drained all the colour from Lee's face. "What are you saying?" He asked. He needed to hear her say it before he could believe it.

"She's dying, Lee. Kara's dying."