Chapter 11

Silent Scream

[Tori's POV]

"..I really think it's a little too far Jade. I mean, what's wrong with her sleeping on the lean back chair, or the air mattress? Why does she have to sleep in our bed?"

"Tori I already told you she might leave! I won't be able to know if she tries to leave if I don't have her in the bed."

I crossed my arms. "So what do you plan on doing? Wrapping your arms around her waist holding her close to you?"

"Tori you are being ridiculous right now." She said as she moved away from me and across the room to change.

"Excuse me, I'm being ridiculous?" I said pointing at myself.

She changed her shirt as she nodded her head. "Yes."

"You're the one letting a girl who obviously has feelings for you stay at our house and sleep in our bed! And I'm being ridiculous!?"

"Shhhhh. Keep your voice down."

"Why because she might hear me!?"

Jade gave me the most evil look in the world before she slid into her pajama pants.

"You like her don't you?"

Jade's head turned to me so fast I know she got whiplash. "Are you fucking crazy? What the hell kind of question is that Tori?"

"One that you should answer!"

She walked over to me and stood so close I could feel her breathing on my face as she spoke through gritted teeth in a whisper. "We are the only fucking people Cat has right now Tori and I'm trying to help her the fuck out. She came to us for help Tori. Us! And we are going to help her whether you like it or not and you want to know why? Because if we let her run out of that door again she will be killed. Is that what you want? I know deep down you still care about her Tori so don't act like the hell you don't and what do you think is going to happen when she finds out about her daughter? She needs us okay. I need you to understand that. She's sleeping in our room, she's sleeping in our bed and you're just going to have to deal with it."

"And what if I say no?"

"I don't care what you say."

I felt my eyes water. "You never do Jade! It's like nothing I say ever matters to you!"

She sighed. "Tori really. You better not start crying."

I heard the bathroom door open as Cat walked out and into our bedroom with her head down as I felt Jade grab my arm and pull me into a hug. "It does matter, but…we'll have to talk about this later okay." She whispered into my ear. "I love you Tori. I'm sorry."

I wiped a single tear before I pulled out of her grip and to the bed before I got under the covers quickly and laid my head on the pillow.

I heard her sigh before it was quiet for a few moments.

"Cat what's wrong?"

I turned over in the bed to get a better view of Cat and Jade standing at the foot of the bed. Cat's head was down and she seemed a little fidgety.

"N..nothing. I'm tired."

"C'mon get in the bed." Jade said as Cat nodded and hopped onto the bed right beside me.

Of course she'll sleep in the middle of me and my wife!

"Y..you smell good..T..Tori."

"Why are you stuttering?" Jade asked as she climbed in the bed beside Cat.

"It's…cold."

"It like 70 degrees in this house. It's not cold."

"I'm..just…t..tired." Cat said as she laid her head down.

"Get some sleep then. Night." I heard Jade say before she reached over turned the light out.

I didn't even get my goodnight kiss from her. We always share a kiss before we go to bed.

"I love you Jade." I whispered to myself so low that I knew only I could hear.

I felt the bed shift as a body moved and I couldn't tell who it was. After a few moments I felt lips on mine and I froze before I recognized the soft lips from anywhere.

"I love you too Tori. I'm sorry." She said as she leaned over to me. She actually got out of bed and walked around to my side.

She must have heard me.

"Goodnight." She said as she placed another kiss on my head before she walked back to her side.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

"Hey Tori, your real name is Victoria right?" Sunshine asked as she stirred the cake batter in a bowl.

I chuckled. "Yes."

"Well why don't you go by Vicki? Why Tori?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I like Tori better."

"Oh like how my mom likes Cat better than Rina?"

I smiled. "Yes."

She got quiet for a minute as she kept stirring.

"She's going to come home Sunshine. Don't worry okay." I placed a soft hand on her back.

"I know she will. She says she loves me. If you love someone you can never leave them because your heart won't allow it. You'll just be miserable your whole life if you never follow your heart. So I know she'll come back." She gave a weak smile as if she was telling herself a lie.

This is the first time I've ever seen Sunshine so hurt. Even though she hides it well, I can just sense it.

I grabbed her into a hug.

"She'll come back right Tori?"

I pulled away and put her hair behind her ear. She has so much hope and faith in her eyes.

"Yes Sunshine. She will."

She smiled before she wrapped her arms around me tight again. "I love you Tori."

I gave her a kiss on her head. "I love you too Sunshine."

I felt a tear escape my eye as I held it closed before I opened them to take a glance at the time which now read 2:38am.

I felt the body beside me shaking and moving around as small breaths escaped her mouth and I swear they were close to moans.

My eyes opened wide as I still face outwards so I could only hear what was happening behind me. But the only sounds I could hear were faint choking and hard breathing sounds.

In one quick motion I reached over and turned on the light before I turned over to see what was going on.

I looked down to see Cat with her covers off in a fetal position sweating and panting.

"Cat." I reached over to touch her in which she flinched.

"Jade wake up!" I yelled over to Jade who was knocked out facing towards us.

She slowly opened her eyes with an evil look ready to yell because she hates being woken up until she saw Cat.

She sat up quickly. "What happened?" She asked me.

"I don't know I just woke up."

"Cat?" Jade called out but she didn't respond.

She grabbed her and pulled her into a sitting position. "Cat you okay?"

"…Jade…pleaseee…pleaseee."

"What? Please what?" I asked Cat as I looked at her with concern.

"Shit!" Jade cursed as she put her head in her hand.

"What?" I looked at her.

"She feening."

"She's what?"

"Feening. Her body needs whatever crap she's been hooked on."

"See! I told you she wasn't serious about help." I said as I stood up as well.

"It's not her fault Tori! Her body is hooked. She can't help it. She's going to want it no matter what. It's the fact that she is here wanting help to get off of that bullshit."

She walked into the bathroom and came out with some Ibuprofen.

"And what's that supposed to do?"

"I don't know Tori. Relieve any pain she might be having."

She claimed back onto the bed to Cat who held her knees to her chest as she rocked back and forth.

"I…I can't do..do it Jade…Pleasee. I..i need it…I have ….i have to go…please."

"No Cat." Jade said as she unscrewed the top on her water bottle.

"Here take these." She gave one to Cat who put it in her mouth and swallowed it without the water before she grabbed the other one from Jade's and hand swallowed it without water as well.

"Cat!"

"I…I just want the feeling to go…go away! Pleaseee…make it stop." She cried as I placed my hand on her back again and gave small rubs.

Jade was right. I mean….she does need our help.

"Ughh! I can't!" She scream as she crawled off of the bed and over to the door in which she yanked open and started running.

"No!" Jade yelled as she and I stood up and ran after her. Cat was already half way down the stairs before we got to the top.

"Cat! If you walk out of that door never come back!" Jade yelled as we froze in the middle of going down the stairs.

Cat froze with her hand on the doorknob her breathing heavy and her tears flowing.

"I need it." She said softly.

"You don't need it Cat." I said.

"I…I do…I need itt…please."

"We can't help you if you don't want help. Walk out of that door tonight Cat, and it's over. Never come to us again." Jade said after this time.

She looked at the door knob and started to turn it before out of nowhere Shiloh came walking into the living room and over to Cat.

What is she doing up?

She put a hand on Cat's back and instantly Cat let go of the door. Shiloh turned her around and embraced her in a tight hug as we walked the rest of the way down the stairs.

[Jade's POV]

"Shiloh." I said softly as I watched her grip around Cat get tighter. Her eyes were closed tight and her breathing was almost as heavy as Cat's and I knew what was to come.

"No please." Shiloh said as I tried to unlatch her from Cat. Cat is the closes thing Shiloh has to Sunshine and I could tell by the way she held onto her, by the way she wouldn't let go that she was pretending she was.

"Noo! Stopp!" She screamed as I finally got her free from Cat in which Tori took Shiloh place by wrapping her arms around Cat.

Oh now be her friend…..

"Take Cat back upstairs. This…" I said pointing down at Shiloh who now had her arms wrapped around me. "… is going to end tonight." I told Tori in which she nodded as she led Cat back to our room.

"Shiloh." I said pulling her off of me and putting her face in my hands. She breathed heavily as her body shook softly. She whispered things I couldn't make out to herself as she kept her eyes closed. She was so close to the edge and I was going to make sure I give her that push she so desperately needs because she's not backing away anymore.

"Shiloh look at me."

She shook her head and kept her eyes closed.

I didn't want to ever have to say these words I'm going to say to my daughter. These words I know will break her heart, but it's to help her, not to hurt her.

I took a breath and braced myself. Anybody holding in something this long isn't going to be gentle about letting it out.

"She's dead Shiloh."

I noise escaped her mouth as she tried to pull away from me but I didn't let her.

"Sunshine is dead and she's not coming back Shiloh. Get that through your head. She's dead! She's dead! She's dead! Yes it's real!"

The words coming from my mouth hurt me so much to say to her in such a harsh way, but this is the only way to push her over.

She covered her ears. "No! Let me go! Leave me alone! She's not dead Jade! You don't know what you're talking about! Let me go!"

She tried so hard to get away as we both fell to the floor with me still holding on tight to her.

"Jade please let me go! Don't!"

I ran my and through her hair gently as she was being rough and kicking against me but I was clearly stronger than her.

"Shhhhh. Baby just let it out. It's okay." I whispered in her ear as she screamed and shouted. She finally pulled from my grip and tried to crawl away but I was quicker than her and end up pushing her back down. She fell onto the floor faced down with me laying on top of her holding her down. She started screaming for Tori as her first banged to the floor and her legs going crazy.

"Shiloh it's okay!"

"It's not okay! Get the hell off of me! Pleaseee!" I felt her getting weaker and her voice starting to crack. She was so close.

"Just let it out Shi." I said as I put buried my face into her back. "She's gone."

Instantly everything went silent. Her legs stop kicking around and her hands stopped banging on the floor.

I looked down at her face to see her eyes shut tight and her mouth wide open as she let out a silent scream.

After a moment of literally nothing the loudest scream I've ever heard escaped her mouth that it even hurt my throat to hear it.

I got off of her and pulled her up and into a tight embrace before I felt her teeth sink into my shoulder so hard I knew she was breaking skin and that's when I heard it.

A cry.

She wrapped her arms around me so tight I couldn't breathe but it's okay. Her cries were muffled by my shoulder and I felt my shirt getting soaked with her tears.

I just held her tight and rocked her back and forth as my hand ran through her hair.

It hurts so much to see my daughter go through this. I wish there was something I could do to make her pain go away. I don't even know how it feels.

"W…w…wer were…s..supp…suppose t..to get…get married..ied..and..have..a..s..son…Ho…Hollywood…she…wante…d…she..wanted..him… …named Holly..wood…she…she promi..sed… ..be..be here Jade. I lov…I love herr...she …never…did anything…to…anybody…"

"Shhhh baby I know. I know." I said as I still held her tight with a slight rock. A few tears escaped my own eyes. This hurts so much.

"…why…why did…she..have to go? Wha..what have..have..i done to..deserve…this?"

I choked as I held onto her tighter. She hasn't done anything. I don't know why this stuff happens. I don't I wish I had an answer for her. I'm so fucking mad. Who did this? Why!? She was already fucking raped by a guy who she thought she loved then she finds someone she actually falls in love with and who she wants to spend her life with and they are taken away from her! Shiloh….my baby doesn't deserve this. Not even a little bit.

"Nothing baby. I'm so…so sorry love. I Love you so much. I'm so sorry."

"Jade please! P…please bring her back! I'll do…do anything!"

"I'm sorry Shiloh." My words didn't seem like enough. They aren't enough. They never will be.

She made a fist as she punched me repeatedly in my chest causing great pain and screaming, but I didn't stop her. If beating me up makes her feel even the slightest better then she can all night.

She finally stopped punching me and buried her face into my chest again and continued to let everything she's been holding in for almost two months out.

I felt another presence standing in front of me before I felt a hand go to my arm.

I open my eyes to see Tori knelt down in front of me with one hand on Shiloh's back while the other one gently squeezed my arm.

She leaned in and kissed Shiloh on her head.

"Where's Cat?" I whispered to her, but loud enough to be heard over Shiloh's now descending cries.

She brought her hand up to cup my face softly. "Jade." She said with sad eyes.

"What?"

She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "She heard everything."

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