I don't own anything to do with Twilight.
this chapter was a little harder for be to write, but i like!
this is my story and i love you for reading it! (: (no, really, i DO!)

**this is the same chapter! some people were having trouble seeing it (myself included...which is weird) so i deleted it and re-uploaded it. hope it helps!**
(thank you Charm 1997 and MadameGenji for reviweing! just in case they are deleted. i read and loved them!)

Chapter 10:

My stomach growled loudly, and I stood up, walking away from Paul across the room. A wave of claustrophobia overtook me then, and I breathed in short, shallow pants, trying to find some kind of relief.

"Hungry?" He asked me.

I nodded, knowing he could see it, and hurried out of the room. I didn't care that I was being rude, I didn't want him to see what I knew would happen next. I ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut, and locking it fast. I gripped the sides of the sink, and threw my head back when the slam of pain I expected forced its way into my forehead.

My mouth dropped open in a silent scream, and I continued my desperate pants.

"Madison!" My mother called up the stairs, "My room is drying and it looks fantastic! I can't wait to see yours!"

She paused, waiting for my response- which never came. The pain, oh my god, the pain in my forehead. I could barely concentrate on keeping myself standing.

"...Well, I'm making lunch if you want some. Tell Paul he's welcome, too!" Her voice was getting worried now, "Baby, are you ok? Why aren't you ans-"

"I'm fine, mom!" I screamed, cutting her off. I just wanted her to shut up. Every word she spoke was a direct stab to my brain. My voice echoed around the bathroom, and I closed my eyes, whimpering. It was almost over, I could feel the pain slowly starting to subside.

I mentally counted to twenty, and opened my eyes. I turned on the faucet, and wiped my face off with lukewarm water, carefully avoiding my reflection.

I turned off the light, standing in the dark for a few seconds, then I gathered the rest of the strength, and opened the door.

Paul was standing directly outside the door and his hands were shaking. I eyed them curiously, then turned my attention to his face. He looked...he looked terrible, actually. His tan skin had a pale sheen to it, and his eyes were narrowed with what seemed to be pain.

"You ok?" I croaked out, taking a step backwards. If Paul was sick, I couldn't risk being near him. Any illness I caught now would cut my already short time by half.

"Are you?" He countered, taking a step forward, to compensate for the distance which I had retreated. His voice was slightly panicky as he asked again, "Madison, are you ok? Do you need to go to the hospital?" His brow was creased with worry.

"No." I emphasized, then shrugged, "I get headaches."

I could tell Paul didn't believe me. His hands were still shaking slightly and he spoke in a quieter voice then before, "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

No, I can't. "Thanks." I mumbled, then I inched my way past him, making my way down the stairs. I half expected him to grab me, from his protective expression alone, but he didn't. He did, however, walk directly behind me, making the little hairs on the back of my neck prick up in awareness.

My entire body felt ticklish.

"There you two are." My mom smiled at me, "how's the room? Is it pink like we talked about in Eureka? I can't believe you won't tell me!"

"It's not pink." My mom raised her eyebrows, looking back and forth between Paul and I. "I'll show you later," I promised.

My mom rolled her eyes playfully, then turned her back, stirring something in a large pot that I was immediately wary of. My mom wasn't a horrible cook, but she wasn't the best either.

"It smells great, Dianne." Paul complimented.

"Suck up." I whispered, teasingly at him.

Paul made an expression of mock-horror, "Me? Never."

I chuckled and shook my head at him, sitting down in a chair, giving my legs a rest. "What's for lunch?" I hadn't eaten all day, and I was feeling the lack of strength from it now.

My mom tensed in front of the pot, before sighing loudly. "Ok. I have a confession. I've been boiling seasoned water for about three minutes now."

Nobody moved, then, as if on cue, we all burst out in laughter at her confession.

"Boiling water!" I giggled, "Mom!"

She wiped a laughter tear from her eye and shrugged, "Ther- there was nothing else!" She gasped out.

Paul's throaty chuckle next to me made a warmness spread through my body. "We could all go out?" He suggested, looking at me, as if to gauge my reaction.

"Go out?" My mother echoed, "We can't. The cable company is coming in half an hour to install some kind of platter on the roof."

I blinked, grinning, "Do you mean a satellite dish?"

She waved her hand around, "Whatever it's called. The point is, Madison," she spoke to me, "we'll have to manage with whatever I come up with."

Paul stood up slowly, "Madison and I could go out," he offered carefully. He seemed to sense he was treading in deep waters, "and we could bring you back something?"

All at once, the mood darkened. My mother shook her head, "No." She said calmly, "I don't think so."

My cheeks flushed deeply, and I reached over, grabbing my mom's arm with a quick, "be right back" to Paul.

I could feel my mother's tension as I pulled her into her room, closing the door behind us, so Paul wouldn't be able to hear. "Can we talk?" I asked her.

My mom threaded a hand through her tangle of blonde waves and exhaled loudly. "I'm not being the bad guy here, baby. I trust you, I don't trust him!"

I tried to hold in my frustration, but bits of it were palpable in my voice, "Please mom. I need to eat, and Paul obviously does too, since he complimented your nasty water."

"Madison!"

But I wasn't done, not even close, "You said you trust me." I stated, "Well, I trust Paul." And it was true. Since that first day, on the swings, I had trusted him. I had brought him into my thoughts, showing him what I had envisioned for my room. Not even my mother knew that.

"Baby-"

"Let me finish!" I whispered loudly, "please mom! Please! This is..." I sucked in a breath, shuddering, "This is my last place to be normal. I'll bring my cell phone. I'll call you every ten minutes if you want me to!"

I was desperate for her to understand. My time was running out; every second was precious. For me, there was no tomorrow. I either did the things I wanted to do today, or miss out forever. And lunch with Paul was definitely something I wanted to do.

My mom stood there, hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes. She looked livid. "Never say that, Madison," She reprimanded, "this is not your last place to be 'normal,'" She air quoted, "I love you and I won't let that happen!" She said fiercely.

I shook my head in defeat. I hated this. I didn't want to upset her. I cursed myself fully, wondering what had possessed me to say that in front of my mom.

"I'm sorr-"

"And," She cut me off, "I want you to call me every five minutes."

I looked up, hardly believing my ears. "What?"

"I'm allowing you to go." She said stiffly. "You need nourishment, and my 'nasty water' is going to do more harm than good." I recoiled at her words, remembering how I insulted her lunch.

"Thank you!" I burst out, hugging her.

"I'm serious, Madison Kline." She said loudly, using my full name, which she almost never did. "I'm really trusting you, here. Please, please be safe."I squeezed her hard, then released my arms, taking a step back. "Grab your phone, and the emergency medication, and your hospital card, and the cash that I put in your top drawer."

I nodded at each one of her requests, still not believing this was real, and ran upstairs, passing Paul, who was still in the kitchen, to get my bag.

~~OO~~

Paul's Point of View

Madison didn't mean for me to hear the conversation with her mother, but thanks to my fucking wolf abilities, I heard every word. I felt guilty sitting there in the kitchen, listening to her plead to go out with me. Her mother didn't want her to go out, obviously.

But why? I was ecstatic when she told her mother she trusted me. But what did she mean when she said this was her last place to be normal?

My imprint was keeping something from me, something big. I knew that solely on the fact she had cried her eyes out on my shoulder that one night down at the cliffs. I had never felt so helpless in my life. And then disappearing for three days? I had stalked out the house in my wolf form, hearing nothing but her mother's worry and her pained pleas. At one point, I had gotten so worried, it had taken Quil and Seth to pin me down before I ran over the house, desperate to get to her.

She came bounding back down the stairs now, and I smiled warmly at her. I couldn't help it- it was an automatic response to seeing her.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

She nodded, before calling out a quick goodbye to her mom. I followed her through the front door, and I noticed she looked behind her, not to make sure I was following, but to glance at the hideous elephant on the front door. Interesting. I mentally tucked that fact away, excited to learn everything about her; all her quirks.

"So? Where are we going? I can't really wait that long to eat..." She trailed off, avoiding my gaze, which was leveled at her face. She looked so beautiful. Her short hair was tucked behind both ears, and her eyes seemed to sparkle, even in overcast weather.

"I have a place in mind. You're probably sick of diner food by now, am I right?"

She shrugged, and then paused. "How are we getting there?"

My eyes widened. Fuck. I had forgotten I didn't have a car. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but with Madison...let's just say I don't think she'd take it very well if I suddenly exploded into a giant furry beast.

"I could drive?" She asked nervously. The imprint tugged at my core, telli-demanding that I didn't let her drive, because we could both tell she didn't really want to.

Funny, before I had imprinted, I didn't give a rat's ass about whatever my girl of the week wanted. I had always moved on pretty quickly, and getting to know their personalities was a hassel I didn't want or need.

"I'll drive." I assured her. "Will your mom mind?"

"Nope." She replied, popping the 'p.' "She hates mini-vans."

I was surprised, "Really? Then why do you have one?"

"She said it was time to get a 'mom car.'" She laughed, shaking her head. My heart damn near exploded at the happy sound. I lived to make her happy, imprint or not, I wouldn't be satisfied unless she was too.

I jumped into the driver's seat, all too aware I didn't carry a license. But, Madison didn't need to know that. With my wolf senses, I would be able to spot a cop miles away- literally.

I pulled away from the curb, and started down the allotted way to Emily's house. Emily was Sam's pregnant fiancé. She was one of the first people, besides Seth and Embry, who didn't count, that I had willingly told about the imprint.

Madison didn't speak like I thought she would have. Instead, she remained thoughtfully quiet. I glanced over at her every few seconds, unable to help myself, and her brow would be puckered, looking like she was contemplating something very seriously.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her suddenly.

She jumped a little at my voice, and I mentally smacked myself for scaring her. I was such a dumbass.

"Oh, uhm...nothing." She sighed out and laid her head back against the headrest.

"Liar." I teased. She turned her head to be and cracked open an eye. In a flash, she stuck her tongue out at me, then turned her head back around, pretending like nothing had happened.

I smiled to myself, as I fell more deeply into her...essence; her being. She was my other half.

Hating the silence, but not wanting to ruin our silent ease with each other, I turned to the radio, flipping the volume on loudly.

Madison sat up at once, screeching like a cat, holding her head. I blinked stupidly, my heart in my throat. What the fuck was happening?

"Madison?" I shouted, fumbling for the volume. Once it was off, her little pants became more audible to me, and my hands shook. Calm, I reminded myself, Calm the fuck down, Paul. Slowly, the shaking in my hands subsided into smaller tremors, and I raked my eyes over my Madison.

She was hunched forward, holding her head, rocking back and forth, still emitting little sounds of pain. I pulled the car over hastily, not caring who I was cutting off, and put it into park on the side of the road.

Carefully, I undid my seatbelt and leaned over to her. I gently reached out and ran a warm hand over her chilled arm. "What's going on?" I whispered. I was starting to panic; she still hadn't moved from her position.

"I'm fine." She whispered to me. "It'll pass."

Feeling completely helpless, I reached over and with my other hand and gently undid her seatbelt, and pulled her onto my lap. Her entire body was rigid, from some pain unknown to me, or from my actions I didn't know.

It felt like nothing was on top of me. That's how scary skinny she was. I was only beginning to notice now. Against my dark russet skin, her pale form stood out strikingly, which only terrified me more. Nobody should be that pale.

"Mads?" I tried again. She didn't respond, she just kept holding her head. I huddled her chilled body to mine, and pulled her flush against my chest, letting her soak up all 108 degrees I offered.

I rubbed her back softly, and after a few minutes, I felt her body start to relax against mine. She sighed, and pulled away then, her face bright red. Her stomach rumbled and she placed a hand over it, barely muffling the noise.

She sniffled once, and whispered, "Sorry."

That broke my heart- the fact she thought she had to apologize. If anything I should be the one apologizing. No, scratch that, I should be down on my fucking knees, begging her forgiveness. If I hadn't turned on the damn radio...

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I told her seriously. "I'm sorry for turning the music on. Are you ok now?"

My chest was still tight with worry. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle her close, protecting her forever form whatever the fuck just happened.

Speaking of, I had to know. "What was that, Mads?"

Her body tensed, still perched on top of my thighs. "I get headaches." She sniffled again, and put a hand on her stomach. "Please don't ask anything else." She whispered, not meaning for me to hear.

But, I did hear. Her request tormented me. In one hand, I wanted to get to the bottom of whatever it was she was hiding from me. She could trust me. In the other hand, I knew that if I pushed too hard, she would never want to tell me anything. She would feel like she couldn't trust me, because I would keep prying for information.

I nodded slowly, giving her what she wanted- this time. Sooner or later, though, she would tell me.

Relief flooded her face, and she momentarily placed her hand on my cheek, giving me a thrill, before climbing back into her seat. I didn't miss the trembling of her legs. Another stem of worry branched out, mating with the gut wrenching panic I was still feeling.

I pulled back onto the road we had been traveling and the imprint tugged at my core again. I carefully turned the mini-van back around, and started heading the opposite way. I knew Madison wasn't up to meeting new people, not after whatever had just happened. As much as Emily and everyone wanted to meet her, they would have to wait until she was ready.

"Weren't we going the other way?"

"Yeah, I changed my mind." I said evasively, "I think the diner would be better after all."

"Oh." Was all she said.

Oh? Was it a good kind of 'oh'? Or a bad one? Had I done something wrong? Did she feel like it was her fault we were no longer going to Emily's? Because it wasn't! I didn't blame her!

I struggled to convey that now, as I stammered, "Mads- Madison, I just thought that uh- maybe we should- it would be better to-"

She raised a hand wearily, and I stopped talking instantly. "It's ok, Paul." She turned to look out the window, struggling to keep her face blank. She spoke in a hard voice, "I get it."

My gut twisted. My explanation had done more harm than good. I growled out my frustration, "Madison. Really, I just figured it would be more comfortable. That's all." I said honestly.

She didn't answer, still fuming in the seat next to me. I felt like I was missing something- a big chunk of her life she didn't want to tell me.

After a few more minutes of silence, I was sweating. Madison still hadn't relaxed her pose, and she still refused to look at me. Every so often, she would bite her lower lip, and scrunch up her nose, like she was thinking about something serious again. Something she didn't want to tell me anything about.

"So...we're here." I said quietly.

She jumped out of the car without a backwards glance, and was already half way across the parking lot by the time I was out of the car. Inside Harry's Dinner I saw Seth and Embry.

Great, I thought, on top of everything else, now I get to deal with these fuckers.

I entered the diner, spotting Madison in the corner booth, looking out the window again. She always seemed to be doing that- looking out of windows. Like she was so desperate to escape the here and now. She seemed so sad...

I ran a hand through my cropped hair, and cursed myself. I had done that; I had put the sadness there, and now it was my job to remove it.

I sat down across from her, surprised I fit into the booth. One of her tiny hands was on the table, and I reached out for it, holding it delicately in my larger ones. "Madison, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. All you have to do is know that when you do want to talk, I'll be here to listen."

To myself, I wondered where in the hell that had come from. When my last fling, though I didn't think of Madison as a 'fling' at all, had been upset, I'd dumped a box of tissues on her lap and patted her back awkwardly.

I hadn't been sure what to say then, but with my imprint, the words seemed to flow naturally. Granted, it seemed I had to fuck up royal for the words to appear, but at least they showed up, right?

Madison looked up at me, her expression a mixture of awe and acceptance. "Thank you, Paul."

~~OO~~

Madison's Point of View

I knew the exact moment when Paul gave up. He walked into the diner and seemed to be arguing with himself. After he walked up and sat down, I held my breath. I wasn't sure what he would say. He had been keeping me on my toes our entire time together.

"Madison." He spoke firmly, "you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. All you have to do is know that when you do want to talk, I'll be here to listen."

I was shocked, to say the least. I hadn't expected him to just...quit that easily. Everyone who didn't know about my disease wanted too. They wanted to be on the inner circle, the select people who knew what tragic illness my body was battling.

Some of my friends had pleaded with me for weeks on end, but I still never told them. Others had made annoying guesses, hoping to break me. I didn't tell them either. But, not one of my friends had stopped when I asked them too. They had always kept going, and going, and going.

Paul was the first who listened to me, a fact that awed me. I had known him less than a week, and he was already a better friend to me then my "real" friends, not that I still kept in contact with them.

"Thank you, Paul." I said.

He just shrugged. I could tell he still wanted to know, but the fact that he didn't ask meant more then I could describe.

My stomach gurgled loudly again, and a sharp pain attacked my middle. I sucked in a breath, noticing how Paul's eyes narrowed slightly. I shook my head; there was no way he could have heard that.

"Hey strangers." A cheerful voice spoke down to us.

"Seth." Paul nodded, his tone sharp.

"Hi Seth." I waved. Embry bounded up next to him, smiling down at me. "Embry!" I beamed back, genuinely happy to see him. He seemed like a fun person, and the last time we had talked, when my mom was trying to stop the car alarm, had been...memorable, to say the least.

"Madison!" Before I knew what was happening, Embry was seated next to me in the booth, giving me a warm hug, which I enthusiastically returned.

A loud growling from across the table made me wrench myself away.

"Is that you?" I looked at Paul, shocked he was making that harsh sound.

He narrowed his eyes at Embry, and Embry held up both hands, scooting out of the booth fast.

"Paul!"

He snapped his eyes back to me, and they softened.

"What-"

"Anything to drink?" Seth interrupted me, looking back and forth between us.

"The usual." Paul spit out, staring him down.

"And for you?" Seth asked me.

I jumped slightly, looking down at the menu. "Uh...How about waffles? And...and the large mixed green salad to go." I ordered for my mother.

"Sure." He said agreeably. "It should be about ten minutes."

Seth walked away, dragging Embry behind him, leaving Paul and me alone. The diner seemed quieter by ourselves.

My forehead still dully throbbed from when he had blasted the radio, and I rubbed the worst spot where the pain seemed to be concentrating.

I gasped quickly, diving for my bag, having just remembered.

"What's wrong?" Paul asked worriedly.

"My mom! I forgot to call her, I promised her I would." I fumbled with the cell phone, punching in my mom's number to send her a quick text. I would be too uncomfortable talking on the phone with Paul sitting a mere two feet away.

I texted her saying that I was fine, and seconds later, she replied, telling me the satellite dish had just arrived, and that she was glad I was fine. She also added to call her if something happened.

I flipped my phone closed and threw it back into my bag.

"Does this count as our date, yet?" Paul asked suddenly, teasing.

I grinned back at him, waving my arms around the empty diner, "This is your idea of a date? Wow, I have a terrible taste in men." I noted. But, secretly, on the inside, I was flying. I had never been on a date before. I was flattered someone as good looking as Paul had chosen me, but I couldn't dissolve the small nagging in the back of my head. What was in it for him?

Talking to Paul was easier then I would have dared to hope. In those ten minutes, before the food arrived, it seemed like we covered just about everything. Or, just about everything that had nothing to do with anything too personal. We both kept to generic topics, like music.

Seth arrived with three plates of steaming hot food. My plate of waffles was dwarfed by Paul's "usual" meal. There had to be at least four hamburgers, two slices of pizza, a random cookie, and numerous side dishes, like hash browns and corn.

"Oh my god. There is no way you can eat all of that!"

Paul seemed to take my statement as a sort of challenge, for the next thing I knew, food was being devoured at an alarming rate. Watching Paul eat was like watching an Olympic event. He didn't seem to pause for breath, he just inhaled everything on the plate.

My eyes popped open wider as he downed two sodas in a row.

"Done." He said happily, patting his flat stomach. I looked down at my plate of half eaten waffles, then looked back across at the two empty plates in front of Paul. "Want a waffle?" I asked him.

"Sure." He leaned over the table, snagging one, and shoved it into his mouth. It was gone in two seconds flat.

"I take it back." I muttered, "Apparently, you can ingest a million calories and not die."

Paul froze for a second, staring at me, then burst into laughter, with me right behind him. The giggles erupted out of me, making Paul laugh louder. I loved his laugh- it was so carefree.

He sighed a loud, content sigh, and yelled towards the back, "Alright. We're leaving now!"

Seth burst through the door with lightening speed, "Not without paying first, you smartass."

I felt Paul tense beside me, but a moment later he relaxed. "Yeah. Sure." He walked to the register, with Seth watching his every move.

Embry came out of the back, spotting me and walking over. "Let me guess," I turned to him, tilting my face up to see his much taller one, "Paul's skipped out on the bill once or twice before."

Embry snorted. "Once or twice? How about every single time."

I raised my eyebrows high, "This is the first time he's paid?" I asked in amazement.

Embry winked at me playfully, "You've changed him."

I opened my mouth, then closed it, not sure how to respond. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"Oh, shut up." Paul complained from the counter. "Are you ready to go home, Madison?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess." I didn't really want to, though. Being with Paul, Seth, and Embry made me feel less like a sick mess, and more like the girl I used to be. Seth and Embry hadn't given me any sort of special treatment, and Paul had laid off with the questions.

The last hour had almost given me permission to forget about my disease. Almost.

"Don't forget the salad!" Embry yelled out, running up to me.

"Thanks Embry." I took the salad from him, and looked around me carefully. Paul's back was turned as he continued on to the mini-van to start warming it up for me.

After deeming it safe, I flung my arms around Embry's middle, giving him a quick hug. He let out a surprised chuckle, before hugging me back. His warmth felt nice.

"See you around, Madison." He promised me, once I let go.

I waved back to him and jumped into the warm car. "Hi." I said breathlessly.

"Hey." Paul answered, smiling. He reached over and grabbed my left hand in his, holding it firmly, but gently, as he drove back towards my house. Ahead of us, the sun was beginning to set, and the sky was slowly being filled with different hues of orange and pink.

"It's pretty." I said, gesturing towards the sun.

"Yeah..." He trailed off, clearly wanting to say more, but he kept silent.

"You know?" I spoke rapidly, "I had a good time."

Paul jerked his eyes to meet mine for a second, before turning back to the road. I read his face like an open book and he seemed thrilled.

"Maybe we can do it again? Only, a real date this time?"

I thought my face would split apart from the force of my smile. "I would really, really like that."

We pulled into my driveway a few seconds later, and Paul insisted on walking me up to the front door.

I turned back to thank him, and recoiled slightly at how close his face was. His warm, sweet breath flowed across my face, and he spoke quietly, "I don't want to call this a date, because you deserve more from a date then that. But, I don't not want to call this a date, because that means I can't kiss you."

I sucked in a startled breath and my face flushed. I searched his face, not certain what I was looking for.

"So," He continued, "I'll call it a half date. That way," he leaned in closer, and my heart sped up, "I can half kiss you."

Paul didn't wait to see my reaction. He just brought his lips carefully down to my cheek, kissing it softly. He wrapped both hands around my waist, and hugged me gently to him, before standing up to his full height and taking a step backwards.

"I'll see you, Madison." Paul promised, then he walked away, into the sunset- literally.

I stood outside on the porch, my legs shaking slightly. I kept replaying the last few seconds in my head over and over again. Paul's lips had been like velvet, and they seemed to melt when they made contact with my skin.

I smiled hugely to myself, beaming with overwhelming happiness.

I allowed myself one minute of unbridled joy, before slowly dimming my smile. Once it was wiped completely off my face, I shook my hair out, and opened the front door.

The complications of what had just happened were exponential. My mother could never know.

"Mom?" I called out, into the house, "I brought you home a salad."

My mom appeared around the corner, and pulled me into a tight hug. "Baby, I was so worried. I knew nothing would happen, but still."

I patted her back clumsily, "It's ok. It's ok. I'm fine. I promise."

She took the salad from my hands, and ushered me up to bed, knowing I had to be exhausted. Exhausted barely covered it. I was so tired I couldn't see straight.

I flipped on the lamp next to my bed, and hurriedly changed into my pajamas. I crawled into the cool covers, and turned myself over on my stomach.

Next to the Stop Bitching. Start a Revolution bumper sticker, I had hung a small calendar. I crossed off today's date, and then flicked the light off, letting sleep take me.

23 days to go.

all the reviews have been amazing! i read each and every single one, so thank you all so, so much! maybe we can aim for like...17? if 39 people are getting story updates, i think 17 is a fair nnumber! :D thanks everyone!