Chapter 10 For Forgiveness

"Sirius!" Harry said, in a hushed voice.

The dark messy head of his godfather sat in the fire, grinning.

"Hi. How're things?" he asked before Hermione gave him a hurried shush.

"Edward's sleeping by the fire," she whispered.

The grinning face turned into a frown. "That little twit! It's payback, I tell you! He made me and Moony lug five full boxes of damn papers all the way to headquarters! And he only took one box to Hogwarts! He's definitely trying to pull something on me, you hear!"

Harry chuckled. "You could have used magic."

"We did. But the point was that four fifth of our efforts were wasted. The git! Next time he sets foot in my house, I'll…" Sirius grumbled but was cut off by a glare from Hermione.

"There have been awfully weird things happening around Ed," she said quietly.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, puzzled.

"He won't transfigure, even though he does other spells. Like the Hogwarts ghosts have been avoiding him like he's some pest. But he spends a lot of time with Nearly Headless Nick and Moaning Myrtle," Hermione blurted out.

Sirius sighed. "The Order did do a background check on Elric. But there's nothing for the previous twenty years. Not Muggle or Wizard, not in America or Europe. Hell we even checked Asia. There's just no trace of him. It's like he never existed."

There was a small gasp. "Myrtle said that Ed's a homunculus." The sentence sounded like a squeak.

"Those extremely dark creatures?"

"Yes. But hardly any information is documented on them. And they disappeared like a century ago." Hermione didn't know why she was defending a potential threat. It could cost Harry's life, with Voldemort after him and all. But she felt the need to prove that somehow Ed could be a friend. After all, the way he curled up in the maroon armchair was so adorable. With his chin tucked in and golden hair poking his cheek, he looked as innocent as a child. If only there wasn't that single tear, the scene wouldn't be filled with such loneliness.

"Could you check is he's related to Professor Hohenheim?"

Sirius frowned look changed to anger. "That coward and utter bastard who walked out of the Order?" He cursed under his breath before giving a sheepish look to the trio currently watching his reaction. Reluctantly, he muttered, "I'll do a second check on that shrimp." Sirius than gave a weird look, like he was having some internal conflict. "And…Molly…wanted to know how he's doing in school."

"He's a jerk," Ron blurted out. "He hardly talks to anyone. And when he does, it takes five minutes before he starts insulting the other person."

"Ron!" Hermione snapped. "Ed's rather introverted. He keeps to himself and has a rather smart mouth, to both teachers and students. His grades are excellent…"

"You're only saying that cause you like him, like every other girl here," Ron grumbled. "Not that there's any chance that grumpy pants would go out with a girl."

Sirius chuckled. "All right. Molly tells you guys to stay out of trouble and to get enough food and rest, especially the brat. She's showing favoritism, I tell you."

The flames flickered. The head melted away, leaving three tired and curious students staring at it.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to regulate his breathing. Those people did not notice that he woke up when someone said the taboo word 'shrimp'. He didn't catch most parts of the conversation, only the fact that girls thought he was hot and a couple of insults. But he somehow felt satisfied with what he heard. Sure, they were suspicious. Sure, they didn't like him much. But he went back to sleep, relieved and at ease, because he knew there was someone who cared.

From Germany in Europe, Edward Elric was just Edward Elric. Then he changed on that night, two days after his bastard of a father vanished. That night, Edward Elric died. He travelled to the United States, moving from the city of Seattle. To Cambridge, Oxford and any of the Ivy League Collages he got in to. He became many people by changing his name every few years, created a novel's worth of stories and lies about his life. Ed felt like some sort of vampire, unchanging cold heartless immortal. Not allowed to settle for a full seventeen years.

Then he decided to take back his name.

Then he came to England and into this mess.

Edward felt his eyes sting, but they were glued onto a random word in the book. "I'm getting old…"he groaned inwardly, dropping the book onto the table.

He had to admit, the Hogwarts library was certainly impressive.

But he felt like knocking himself unconscious with the book.

Ed got up, taking the book with him and dragged himself to the shelves.

"…Defense Against the Dark Arts…teaching…"

He felt curious and began eavesdropping. Well, he was standing by the shelf right behind a certain Golden Trio. Can't help not hearing anything.

"Yeah, but I doubt anyone would want to be taught by me. I'm a nutter, remember?"

"I think you might be surprised how many people would be interested in hearing what you've got to say," Hemione then hesitated a little. "Ed's backtalk with Professor Umbridge got some people thinking."

Edward grunted.

"You know the first weekend in October's a Hogsmead weekend? How would it be if we tell anyone who's interested to meet us in the village and we can talk it over?"

I don't care. I absolutely don't care.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

I don't give a damn about getting illegal DADA lessons!

Oh, you know you want to.

There's no point! Anyway, if we do get caught, my research would be ruined by the toad!

Supposedly the great Edward Elric's getting soft and wanting to get involved in school affairs?

I am not! I don't need or want anyone. So I definitely, do not f***ing need another obstacle to my research!

Then, tell me again, why are we here?

Edward finally decided to stop arguing with himself and pushed the door open to the dirty bar of Hogsmeade, the Hog's Head (seriously, what's with wizards and their affinity with pigs?).

There seemed to be a wave of silence as he strode in.

All eyes bored at him. The silence dragged dramatically. Edward twitched and made a sound with his throat. He then walked over to the dingy barman and came back to the group with a butterbeer. He drank with his gaze on the faces of the students.

Most girls were blushing. Ron looked nervous. Then there were whispers.

"Why is that git here?"

"The midget's clever enough! He doesn't need extra DADA lessons!"

The butterbeer bottle was slammed onto the table in front of him. "Who're calling shorter than an ant you can crush with your foot?" he snarled, glaring fiercely at the fourth year Gryffindor who had flinched violently.

There seemed to be movement and forming protests in the group.

"Hey!" Hermione interjected, waving her hands and raising her voice to calm them down. "We're here to see if you're okay with taking lessons from Harry! And it doesn't matter who as long as they're willing to learn!"

Ed was pissed with himself, hating that someone was talking for him. "I can speak for myself, thank you, Hermione," he said. His voice wasn't shaking with anger. It was just cold, like a swipe of ice. "I haven't been here long. I don't damn know much about what Harry did or about that dumb lord who's risen from the dead." There was a gasp from the crowd which he ignored. "And heck," he snorted. "I don't even care. I'm here to give him a chance." Ed jerked a finger at Harry.

Harry seemed to gain confidence when he heard Ed said that.

"Look guys, I may have done all those things you said by this isn't about OWLs and Voldemort anymore," he paused, expecting some sort of reaction. But the crowd was listening intently. "It's outrageous that the Ministry has foisted such a useless teacher on us who is trying to actively prevent us from using defensive spells. And they have this mad idea that Dumbledore could use students as some kind of army against the Ministry. No matter what, there's always danger around and we should be able to defend ourselves."

"They shouldn't deny us the right to learn how to protect ourselves," Hermione said.

There were muttered agreements.

Hermione took a deep breath and beamed. "So, when shall we schedule the lessons?"

The list was passed. Edward smirked slightly. He knew the parchment was jinxed to prevent anyone from shooting their mouths. Hermione was clever and he could easily see her as some strategist in the military. There were many tactics he learnt from the military. Sabotages, strategic planning and spies.

Ed glanced at the people in the bar. Only the truly strange or insane would come to this pigsty.

He signed the list and strode out of the smelly bar.

Geez, teach, you can be so uptight! Loosen up! No wonder everyone gets on your nerves. You'll never have friends this way! The students and teachers and…

Shaddup. I can manage my own life.

Teach, you gotta find a way to de-stress. It's not healthy, you know. Too much pressure could cause you to have a stroke. Or heart disease. You'll die early.

Don't curse me, Alfrons!

What are you gonna do, give me a detention? Sigh… There're a lot of things you can do to lighten up. A simple walk in the park, playing video games, oh I know, music!

The boy suddenly took his flesh hand, inspecting the fingers under the thick gloves.

What now?

You could play the piano, teach.

Ed didn't want to return to that hellhole of a castle. He swore that place practically saps the life out of him. He always felt tired and his concentration level had dropped quite a bit. The school building itself just had some grudge against him.

Edward sighed. He was sitting on a random bench away from the noise from the village. It was beautiful in the snow. And it brought back memories of his times at the university for some reason. Ed let the cold seep into his skin in a soothing manner. He was grateful that Snape fixed his automail and his ports never ached anymore.

Yes, teach. The piano!

What? I don't have the time for such activities, Alfons!

His brother lookalike pouted.

Such a pity, teach. You have the perfect fingers. Just like a girl.

Detention, Alfons Heiderich!

"Al…" Ed muttered. He raised a gloved hand to his face and rubbed his sleeve across his eyes as if he was wiping away tears. His automail hand was stuck in his pocket.

"Edward?"

He turned to see Harry behind him. Grunting as acknowledgement he turned and relaxed, squinting at the sky that was brightly white.

"I wanted to say thanks," Harry said. "For what you said."

"I don't get why my words have an effect on people," he commented casually.

"Erm… Does that mean you accept me as a friend?" Harry asked hopefully.

Ed snorted as a reply. "I agreed to your defense lessons only to get back at the toad b***h. Guess this is a civil way to punch her in the face for what she said in that detention," he said, half looking at Harry.

He looked hesitant. He was worried that his words would destroy the newfound somewhat friendship with him and Ed.

"I know you want to ask." Ed was looking him in the eye seriously. "About my 'fragile body', that is." There was a hint of disgust as Ed looked away again, focusing on nothing in particular.

Both hands were out of his pockets.

"So are you going to tell me?" Harry asked. He was expecting a definite refusal and Ed would go back to ignoring him again.

The blonde scratched his head.

"Why don't we make a deal then? Equivalent exchange." Ed smirked, golden eyes flashing. "I tell you about my 'condition' and you tell me about your previous 'adventures'." He was curious, truthfully. "I heard a dragon was involved."

Harry smiled and stuck out his hand. "Deal."

He shook the gloved hand, realizing how rock hard it felt.

How are you gonna lie your way out of this one, Edward Elric?

You have already made up over a hundred different stories for all the places you go. And also forgeries too many to count. You have been lying half your life now.

Surely one more lie wouldn't hurt?

Ed mentally cursed Equivalent Exchange. But he only promised to confess about his physical body's state. He didn't say anything about spilling how it became this way. He didn't have to tell the truth. He didn't need to blurt out his life story. Harry did not need to know the tragedy and horror that led up to this very day.

He sighed as Harry finished his story with the revelation of Mad-eye Moody getting locked up in a trunk and Barty Crouch Junior impersonating him.

Edward was jealous. Harry Potter, boy who lived, whose head was wanted by the worst Dark Wizard since who-knows-when, only saw the death of one person. And it wasn't even bloody, but instant, like a hit in the head.

But he was relieved. At least, everything wasn't as bad as he expected.

So, let the lying begin?

"There was a war after Mom died," Ed began slowly, choosing his words carefully. "There was this madman who wanted all the power there is to create a new empire in my country. The bastard corrupted the central military of my country and then ordered a massacre of a whole race. A few years later he tried to create a rebellion in a city by getting the people to believe in false sayings by its prophet. There was craziness everywhere." He took a breath, lightly biting his tongue. Covering the true ugliness of the facts with his sugar coated version left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I was a researcher then and my brother and I happened to find out. And we told a man named Roy Mustang who can be a total asshole at times and he gathered the military groups around the country to fight back. It was a full force rebellion. And…" Ed cut himself off. Every story has to have an ending. A good one, a bad one, doesn't matter, it just can't be a cliffhanger. But what?

The real story was about his search for a legend. His country and its corrupt military. And a man that wanted to become God.

And the Philosopher's stone. What a load of bull crap! In his world, it was made from human souls. In this world, it wasn't even a true stone!

"So what happened?" Harry asked, seeing that Ed was silent was a long while.

"I guess you could say we lost." Edward put his hands on the back of his neck and watched grey clouds shielding the white light from the sky. "My brother died. Who-knows-what happened to Mustang." He sighed with a depressed sound. "Well, that's reality. The good guys don't win every time."

"What happened to you?" Harry prompted again.

What's wrong, Edward Elric? That's hardly any lie! It's not the truth, but what's wrong, Edward Elric, can't lie anymore?

"I guess you could say I was in the front lines of the last battle. It's a miracle I survived and am here talking to you now." Ed grunted and scratched his chin. Should he tell?

"You probably had extensive injuries, right, Ed?" Harry said, as if telling Ed that he could take whatever mutilation Ed had.

Cannot lie anymore.

Ed sucked in a breath.

Don't know what trust is anymore.

"I lost two limbs and had my insides blown out," Ed said quickly. He then turned away.

"What?" Harry exclaimed.

Don't look at it. Don't look at the pity. Can't stand that kind of eyes.

"I never thought that…" There was a gulp. "So, you're…"

"It's war, Harry."

"But you look pretty normal to me." Harry wanted to mentally slap himself. He didn't know what to say; therefore whatever that came from his mouth was nonsense.

Ed wanted to laugh. He turned to face Harry. In those green eyes, there was a sense of awkwardness, hesitation. He also dictated a drop in self esteem. The boy thinks the whole Voldemort thing was his burden to bear, doesn't he? He's worried, confused and due to his highly depressing story, he was even more doubtful than before.

Edward was surprised at that reaction. But glad, or the more. Yes, all the more relived.

"You don't annoy me as much anymore," he said, leaning back onto the bench as the sky dimmed and black birds flew by. "Don't worry. I have prostatic limbs. And a whole lot of tubes stuck in me and pills to help digestion. I not a complete freak, thank you very much."

There was silence from Harry. Ed noticed the constant biting of lip. The Chosen One wasn't even looking at him. He didn't seem like some savior; only a confused teenager.

"Harry," Ed said sharply, drawing back the black haired boy's attention. "Because I lost a battle once means that you should try even harder to win this upcoming war, Brat-Who-Lived," Ed said. "Listen. You better not let what happened with me happen again."

The hellhole of a school doesn't seem so torturous anymore. Edward wondered why. After spending the entire afternoon out and in the cold, the Gryffindor felt all the more toasty warm. It was nearly midnight. Ed drew himself into a tight ball in the comfy armchair which had lately turned into his bed.

I trusted him, didn't I?

He didn't realize himself smiling. For that moment, he felt peaceful. And not lonely. Edward had let his hair down, golden locks gathering on his shoulders. And his thick gloves were off, flesh hand warmed by the flickering orange flames of the fire.

I almost forgot what trust is.

There was this comfort he didn't feel since he Alfrons left. Edward almost didn't want to sleep. Sleep brought nightmares which would ruin the feeling.

Maybe I need to de-stress first.

Ed stretched his hands in front of him and closed his eyes. Imagining the keys of a grand piano in front of him, he let his hands trail in the air, remembering the music.

And the last chord thrummed in his brain.

Ed took a breath and uncurled in the armchair. His eyes darted around the room, without exhaustion. He liked the deep red of the walls, red carpets trimmed with golden and bits of warm brown within the room. Red, like the coat he used to wear in Amestris. He still had it, deep inside his trunk. Red, the color of blood. Spilt blood, a sense of death. Yet blood was the life in the veins and the heart. It was a contradiction. But a fact. And the world would be wrong without it.

Perhaps he liked contrasting elements.

Edward got out of his chair.

"You waiting for someone?" he asked out loud.

Harry, Ron and Hermione came into the room from the dormitories, looking rather nervous. Well, Hermione looked a little dazed, being the first girl to see Ed with his hair down.

Ed slumped back into the armchair.

As no one was saying anything, he decided to get to the point that he being there wasn't a problem. He knew the fire conversations with bastard-who-called-him-shrimp. "Hmm if I punched his floating flame head, would he feel it?" he said, glaring at the fire.

The untidy dark head of Sirius was sitting in the fire again.

"Okay, midget, how did you find out?"

"Who are you calling short?" Ed almost yelled.

"Hi Sirius," Hermione cut in before a loud argument could commence.

"So how're things?" Sirius asked, though still glaring at Edward.

"Not good," Harry said. "The Ministry's forced through another decree."

"Let me guess, prevents you from having secret Defense Against the Dark Arts groups?"

There was a short pause.

"How did you know about that?"Harry demanded.

"A spy? Like someone from the Order dressing as a hairy old woman?" Ed said.

There was another short pause.

"How did you know, shrimp?" Sirius demanded.

"I'M NOT SHORT!" Ed got up. "It was an obvious change of gender!" Ed said, smirking. "Only weirdos like you would do something like that!"

"Hey! It wasn't me! It's Mundungus who was crossdressing!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"You little git! You're…"

"Keep you voices down!" Hermione hushed, giving the two a glare. "Ed, sit down!" He did so grumbling. "So, Sirius, what do you think of the Defense group?"

Sirius smirked. "Even though Molly thinks its risky and absolutely not permitted, I think it's an excellent idea!"

"Really?"

Ed snorted.

"Of course! Your father and I would never lay down and take orders from an old hag like Umbridge!" Sirius said. "And we know that there's someone outside Hogwarts who'd like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!"

Ed snorted again.

"And you can hex that midget for me!"

"Want me to poke your eye out, Black?" Ed growled, getting up again.

Sirius gave a mocking laugh as Hermione shot dagger glares again.

"I heard Hohenheim is teaching in the school," Sirius said out of the blue, eyeing Edward suspiciously. "Donno what Dumbledore's thinking."

"What's wrong with Professor Hohenheim?" Ron asked.

"He used to be part of the Order when Voldemort was first at large. Remembered he was quite reluctant to join. And when he did, it was for his own reason," Sirius spat. "He only joined the Order when he made a deal with Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel."

"The guy who made the Philosopher's stone?" Harry said.

"Yeah. Turns out the bastard wanted Flamel to give him a portion of the Elixir of Life."

Ed's golden eyes widened.

"The guy was only after immortality! That git!" Ron said.

Sirius nodded. "Now that the Philosopher's stone's gone, he completely cut ties with the Order." Sirius turned to Harry, seriously. "Be careful of that man, Harry. He may be working for Voldemort. Just as long as he gets some sort of perk, he'll join, I tell you."

Harry nodded. Sirius turned to Ed.

"What's wrong, Elric?"

Edward was looking away, staring at the deep red hearthrug.

Hohenheim must have a reason. He's a bastard but he wouldn't just… I don't care. I don't give a damn about that bastard.

"You know Hohenheim, Elric?"

Ed was still in thought. His face was emotionless, eyes glazed. "He's nothing to me."

"That's alright. He didn't really mention about a son in his days in the Order anyway."

Ed's eyes shot at him. "I do not know a damn thing about that bastard!" he snarled. "I don't f***ing care about him either!"

Sirius smirked. He was about to open his mouth to speak when his face suddenly tensed. Then he turned sideways and vanished. And in its place was a stubby, short-fingered hand, groping as though to catch hold of something.

After ten minutes of shock, Ed was sitting on the armchair again, an air of indifference around him.

"Is it true, Ed?" Hermione asked after a while of silence. "Is Professor Hohenheim your father?"

Ed took a moment to answer. "Not anymore." His voice was heavy and laden with sadness and disappointment.

"Are you an alchemist then?" she asked. She sounded scared for some reason.

Ed sighed. "Remember what I told you, Harry?" Harry nodded. Edward raised his metal hand, watching the flames reflect on its shiny surface. "That I was in the front lines of the war. That's because being an alchemist, you can discover many things yet make many mistakes. And whatever you find may just be..." He made a weird sound with is throat. "Let's just say the truth isn't so pretty."

Hi

I think I made it a habit to update a day late. But I have a reason! I planned on making this chappie extra long but then I decided to cut a bit off and place it in the next chappie. So in the end I used some time on working on stuff you won't see for another month…*braces for flying hurtful objects*

Don't know whether people actually bother to read ANs… I mean, sometimes even I don't…

In the first Gryffindor fire scene, 'someone who cared' refers to Mrs. Weasley. Her care may be a form of pity for Ed, but mostly it's motherly love. And Ed feels (and needs) it… And Hohenheim is still a bastard, even to the Order. But of course, there's always a reason and in the end we'll love him again.

I think I have successfully created a chapter without too much angst (I hope). I'm also writing some form of humor, don't know if it's working…hahaha

Also, I have this weird scene in my mind. Can you imagine Ed doing the 'che' thing like Kanda from Man? Hahaha…that was so random…

Sirius was being sort of mean to Ed. But he wants to know about his relation with Hohenheim and that's the easiest way to get it. The Golden Trio find out a bit about Edo now. And he was half lying partially.

Okay, this chapter's focusing on Ed trying to open up and his doubts on that.

Please review! Thanks so much for all your patience and reviews! I don't own FMA or HP (keep forgetting to put that).

ssapphireangel