The girl of my dreams hovers before me.
Her hair is the color of freshly-fallen snow and reaches down to her waist. Her eyes are ruby red, brilliant and yet gentle. Her face is enchanting, her physique is to die for, and her asymmetrical outfit hugs her curvaceous body like a second skin.
She is the prettiest, kindest, and most melancholic girl in the whole universe. She had been with me ever since that fateful day when we first met, the day Uncle Gil saved my life and placed her in my care. She has been a part of me for four years now, kept me company during my darkest days and coldest nights.
"Hello, my Meister," she greets me.
Hello, Book of Darkness.
Ah, I hate to sound like a broken record, Book, but you have a really bad name.
"That is true, my Meister. Nevertheless, it was the name given to me when I was created. And I will bear it to the end of my days."
That may be so, but it doesn't suit a pretty girl like you.
"You are too kind, my Meister. But please remember that I am a Unison Device, a weapon of war, and not a human female."
That may be so. But you look and act like a girl. And in my book, that makes you a girl. Besides, a girl would never deny she is pretty, and you didn't protest when I called you pretty.
Her pale cheeks gain the slightest hints of rosy heat. "Am I?" she wonders while absently playing with her long locks of white hair, a whimsical action that entrances me. "Pretty, I mean?"
Of course you are. In fact, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. And I happen to live with three pretty girls and my classmates are all quite pretty, so I would know.
"Thank you."
You're welcome... ugh, I was about to call you Book of Darkness again...
Her girlish giggle is music to my ears. "You are forgiven," she assures me.
But it's a terrible name! It doesn't lend itself to cute nicknames.
"It does not matter so long as the person I love the most is the one who calls me that."
It's the turn of my face to heat up with embarrassment. I feel like the biggest country bumpkin in this Dimensional Sea she's told me about.
If you say so, Book… Oh! I know! I'll give you a nicer name, one that suits you.
"You will?"
Those expectant eyes of hers boost my confidence. Had I been nagged by any doubts, her gaze would have set me at ease and assured me that I was in the right.
Just leave it to me. Hmm, let's see. How about we call you-
.
Hyatt Aegami reluctantly awoke from peaceful slumber to discover that the warm body pillow cuddled in his arms (because his legs were paralyzed and thus unable to wrap around it for extra intimacy) was a drooling, snoring Vita, who had sleepwalked into his bed per habit.
"Mmm, Hyatt... I'm full... I'm gonna burst..."
Her lips moved towards his…
"AAAHHH! VITA! YOUR FACE! IT'S TOO CLOSE TO MINE!"
Despite his paralyzed legs and knowledge about the sleepwalking habits of his Crimson Knight, Hyatt still managed to catapult himself clear off his bed and into the thankfully thickly-carpeted floor.
THUD!
"Hyatt!" Vita was instantly awake and on her feet. She brandished a pillow menacingly as if it were Graf Eisen with a Cartridge in its chamber. "Who did this to you? I'll turn them into light!"
"Hyatt!" The rest of the Wolkenritter, who were armed to the teeth (and in Zafira's case, armed with teeth,) barged through the bedroom door. "Are you all right?"
"Talk about getting off the wrong side of the bed," Hyatt moaned from where he lay sprawled on the floor.
.
"Demon Cannon Girl-"
*static*
"-Magical Girl Lyrical Mami ~Aces of A's~ continues..."
.
The Many Lives of Mami Tomoe
Story Tenth
Demon Cannon Girl
.
Disclaimer
"Those chosen by Heaven, I am the Angel of Light, Nanael. I am a messenger from Heaven who came to bring true order to the world. I shall give you all a mission that will bring true order and found a kingdom that will last forever."
The cosplay for this disclaimer was the Archangel of Light Nanael from Queen's Blade. Haruhi definitely looked the part of descending divinity, having dyed her hair a Sayaka Miki shade of teal blue and donned an extremely brief chemise, matching gloves, and armor-plated boots of silvery steel. Asymmetrical prop wings sprouted from her back, a bottle of Holy Milk (trademark by St. Brigid, patron of dairy workers) hung from the thin belt around her waist, and her right hand brandished the broad-bladed Celestial Saber at an impressed Mami.
"Come with me to the SOS Brigade clubroom and serve me." And Haruhi said this in a seductive tone while beckoning suggestively.
Yuuno and Fate Flash Moved to either side of the surprised Mami, latched themselves onto the arms of their love interest, and hurriedly hauled her away while glaring thrown manhole covers and Photon Lancers at the smirking Haruhi.
"Please don't corrupt Tomoe-sama," chided Airi.
But Haruhi was feeling full of herself. "Are you stupid? There's no way a ghost girl like you can beat an elite angel like me!" And she flourished the Celestial Saber at Airi.
"I was holding back against the real Nanael," the piqued Airi stated while materializing her scythe and assuming a hostile stance. "I will not hold back against you, Suzumiya-san."
[Who will emerge victorious?] Raging Heart announced from off-screen. [They won't know that unless they fight!]
"Please don't forget about the disclaimer," Mami called out.
"Sheo Darren doesn't own Madoka, Nanoha, Haruhi, Queen's Blade, and whatnot!" With that said, Haruhi leapt at Airi, the milk in her small jug sloshing.
…Hmm, that came out wrong.
.
chapter the next
sixty-third rule
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After reassuring his overprotective adopted family that yes, he was all right and no one was attacking him, the bleary Hyatt took a bath to freshen up. Or rather, he attempted to take one by himself.
"Really, Signum," he weakly insisted to the woman kneeling behind him. "I'm paraplegic, not quadriplegic. I can take a bath by myself."
"We have discussed this many times before, Hyatt." Wrapped in a fluffy towel the color of her untied hair, Signum scrupulously scrubbed every inch of her Meister's back. "My answer remains the same. We do not know when and where the enemy may attack, so one of us must stay with you at all times."
"Even while I'm bathing?"
"Especially when you are bathing. Many attacks have taken place when a complacent victim lowered his guard while bathing."
Hyatt thought that any kind of attack that took place in the bathroom would be, well, kind of like the steamy scenes in his anime and manga. "I know that," he conceded. "But, Signum, don't you feel embarrassed by this?"
"I am your sword, Hyatt, a weapon first and foremost, before I am a woman."
The young German dared to peer over his shoulder, all the while making sure to keep his gaze off places it shouldn't linger upon. Like Signum's firm thighs. Or the mysterious valley nestled between her lovely mountains.
In response, Signum bowed her head, the long bangs of her unrestrained strawberry-blonde hair falling across her face to avert her gaze out of respect for her young master.
(Yes, she definitely did not look away because she needed to hide a fiery blush on her cheeks. It was impossible for a veteran warrior and hard light program like herself to react like a hormonal human schoolgirl when the cute boy who was her Master innocently ogled her barely-clad, feminine body.)
"Are you channeling Saber?" Hyatt asked seriously.
"Sa-who?"
.
Thirty minutes later, a blushing Meister and his definitely-not-blushing Servant -err, I mean, Knight- emerged from their respective quarters dry and dressed. They found the rest of their family goofing off in the living room. Vita was raptly watching Aoi Ichikawa, tsundere protagonist of Nijiyome Academy Z-Cune Aoi, unload the abnormal ordnance of her Megaman-style arm cannon into the mugs of her faceless mook opponents. Zafira was in his wolf form and lounging across the sofa. And-
"Where's Shamal?" Hyatt asked as he cast his gaze across the room in search of the golden-haired Knight of the Lake.
Vita's eyes never left the TV screen while answering, "She said she was going to train by herself."
"That is good," Signum thought. "We all need training to stay in shape. But what is she training herself at?"
Zafira took a sniff of the air. He instantly went stiff. "There's a repulsive smell coming from the kitchen," he growled. "Like someone combined squid and beer..."
Everyone traded looks of absolute horror. There was only one person in the Aegami domain who would consider 'ika de biru' to be a good idea.
"Red alert!" Hyatt commanded as he and his stalwart companions hastily armed themselves with whatever was at hand. "DefCon 2!"
A minute later, he drove his Mercedes Benz motorized wheelchair over a writhing mass of white tentacles. "Shamal!" he yelled while swinging a frying pan at all comers. "Where are you?"
"Hyatt!" His wayward Knight of the Lake was caught within the slimy clutches of the eldritch abomination summoned by her attempt to cook calamari soaked in beer. "Please save me!"
[Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!]
Graf Eisen pulped the sinuous lengths clambering up the wheels of Hyatt's wheelchair. "It's hammer time!" Vita bellowed from her place at her Meister's right flank.
"A perfectly good can of Heineken gone to waste," Signum chided while elegantly converting sickly white tentacles into calamari rings using Laevatein.
"Needs more salt," Zafira grunted through gritted fangs. A prodigious leap had allowed him to clamp his jaws and claws upon the slippery mantle of the monstrous mollusk. But now he was forced to hang onto his wildly bucking opponent for dear life.
Shamal's eyes went wide and her fair face turned red as a violent shudder shot through her petite body. "Waaahhh! Don't touch me there!" the squirming blonde begged. "I'm saving myself for Hyatt!"
Hyatt was normally a cheerful boy whose empathy knew no bounds. But now he flipped the frak out. How dare a tentacle monster molest his Knight!
"Wolkenritter!" He thrust his ichor-soaked frying pan towards the ceiling. "Prepare for glory!"
"Harooh!" Vita agreed before leading the charge, her Meister and fellow Knights hot on her heels.
Ika Devil was taken down before it ruined Shamal for marriage. It also dropped 100,000 experience points, 10,000 zeny, and a Fire Ring +2. However, in a despicable parting shot, the dying tokusatsu monster sprayed the victorious Aegami party with ink, prompting another trip to the bathroom, where an even fiercer battle would unfold.
.
"That's unfair, Signum!" The whining Vita was acting like her apparent age. "You already washed Hyatt's back earlier! Why do you get to do it again?"
Signum turned a cool gaze upon her protesting teammate. "Are you challenging my decision as leader of the Wolkenritter, Vita?" she sternly warned.
"Now you're just pulling rank!"
"Vita, Signum, please don't fight." Sighing deeply, Hayate quickly shut his eyes when a teary-eyed Shamal knelt in front of him. The girls were clad in fluffy modesty towels, but the thought counted. "What is it, Shamal?"
"I'm sorry, Hyatt. I caused you a lot of trouble again. I thought I could finally prepare a good breakfast for you, but I ended up ruining the kitchen and wasted your bath..."
"I'm not angry, Shamal," he reassured her. "You meant well. You just need more practice, that's all. Next time, let me help you cook food."
"You're too kind, Hyatt." Shamal took her Meister's hands in hers and squeezed them gently. "I'll make it up to you by scrubbing your front!"
"Sureeehhh?" Hyatt sputtered.
Vita and Signum instantly turned on their sister Knight, their argument forgotten in the light of a common foe that had just ambushed them.
"Shamal!" the redhead hammer loli accused. "You're even more unfair than Signum!"
"Cunningly striking at Hyatt while I was preoccupied with Vita," growled the pink-haired swordswoman. "I underestimated you, Shamal."
The blonde healer refused to give way to her sisters-in-arms. "I won't lose to either of you or that girl with the big breasts!"
"That girl is my rival!" Vita shot back. "You get your own rival! Like that annoying guy who likes to throw manhole covers! You support characters are made for each other!"
"What are you three arguing about?" the bewildered Hyatt squeaked. He sat frozen between the squabbling female Knights, not daring open his eyes lest they visually confirm that, yes, the soft things grazing and bumping his face were the girls' fabric-covered fronts.
Nearby, Zafira had just finished his own bath. Per his habit, the Guardian Beast bathed in his wolf form. (The one time he assumed his human form and went for a dip with Hyatt in the hot tub, the other Knights sent very disturbing looks their way. Zafira was not sure if they were angry with him for infringing upon their sacred bathing time with their Meister or... happy. The latter possibility unnerved him more than the former.) He proceeded to shake the water out of his cobalt blue fur.
"Kyaaahhh!"
Vita, Signum, and Shamal all yelped when cold water splattered their half-bare bodies. The startled girls reflexively clung onto the similarly alarmed Hyatt, who was unable to support their weight (paraplegic, remember?) and quickly collapsed.
"Zaffy!" Hyatt screamed like a girl. Given his age, appearance, soft-spoken voice, and how he wrote his first name in hiragana, people had understandably mistaken him as a girl in the past. "Help!"
"Sorry, Hyatt," Zafira unrepentantly replied. He made no move to spoil his Meister's fun. All wolves knew that alpha males didn't share their females.
Signum was right, Hyatt despaired from where he lay trapped beneath hills and mountains and a deliciously flat plain full of potential. A lot of attacks did take place in bathrooms...
.
Today Zafira would accompany Hyatt to school. Vita went back to watching Z-Cune Aoi while the penitent Shamal cleaned and repaired the kitchen –by hand, no magic allowed- under Signum's stern supervision.
"Zafira, let's drop by the convenience store for a quick bite."
"That sounds like a good idea, Hyatt."
As they approached the 7-11, the sliding doors parted to reveal a girl. Around Hyatt's age, she wore a sure little smile and the black habit of a nun.
"Good morning, Sister." Hyatt had been baptized and raised as a Protestant. But his late parents had also taught him to be polite to people of the cloth, especially if they were female.
"God bless you." The nun's lively red-brown eyes twinkled mischievously. "You look like you're hungry."
Hyatt blushed. He couldn't help his stomach grumbling at the mouth-watering sight of the paper bag full of shiny red apples that rested within the cradle of the nun's interlocked arms. "I didn't get to eat breakfast today, Sister," he admitted.
She laughed. "Rejoice, young man," the nun told him. Man does not live on bread alone, but neither does he live on the words of God alone." She plucked an apple from her bag. "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food," she pronounced, the smile on her face growing huge and brilliant, "and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat."
The solemn Biblical quotes drew a chuckle out of Hyatt. "Didn't Eve then give the apple to her husband Adam?" he asked while giving in to temptation and accepting the offered fruit.
"The shortest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Here you go, big guy." The amused nun tossed an apple to Zafira as well.
Juicy and sweet, the apple was just the kind of invigoration that Hyatt needed this morning. "Thank you very much, Sister," he told the nun.
"You're welcome. Eat it all up," she reminded them. "Don't waste manna from Heaven. If you waste food, I'll punish you."
"I won't. Thanks again for the meal, Sister."
"The grace and speed of God go with you two."
Hyatt and Zafira watched the nun walk off. Their reasons for doing so were vastly different.
That girl is the same age as me, the boy thought, and yet she's already a nun. She must be very capable. She's also quite cute. I wonder what she looks like under the hood of her habit…
That girl isn't normal, the Guardian Beast thought. She was giving off the slightest hint of magic. And she smells like... like the well-oiled steel of a keen-edged weapon. She's a warrior, and yet she doesn't smell like blood, so she hasn't killed anyone yet. But she was checking us out…
Zafira carefully suppressed the overwhelming urge to defensively bristle. He and his fellow Knights had been surprised at how easily their Meister could sense their moods. Hyatt could even pick up on Zafira's mood, and the wolf's control of his emotions exceeded that of the imperturbable Signum.
Like now, the concerned Hyatt was looking up at his taller companion. "Is there something wrong, Zafira?"
"It's nothing, Hyatt."
Fortunately for the wolf, Hyatt misunderstood the source of his malaise. "Don't worry about Saotome-sensei," assured the boy. "She doesn't bite, and Nakazawa says her fried eggs are delicious."
"I don't like eggs," Zafira responded, glad for the chance to misdirect his Master's concern.
"That's too bad. She really likes you, so she's bound to offer you her home cooking sooner or later."
"I think I can survive that. Her cooking can't be worse than Shamal's."
They shuddered. The things they did for family… and speaking of family, Zafira handed his apple to Hyatt.
"Huh? Aren't you hungry, Zafira?"
"I can get some food for myself later. But you're a growing boy, Hyatt. You need the nutrients. So eat up."
"Thanks, big brother."
.
Wolkenritter Chat
Version: 5.1
Powered by: Book of Darkness
Users Logged In: damagetwig; ironcount; lonewolf; clearwind
lonewolf: Everyone, a potentially critical situation has just taken place.
damagetwig: What is it, Zafira?
lonewolf: Hyatt and I encountered a suspicious girl on our way to school. She is around the same age as our Meister and wears the clothes of a nun. I have reason to believe she was investigating us.
ironcount: What! Is Hyatt all right?
lonewolf: Hyatt remains safe with me, Vita.
damagetwig: Is she a DAB operative?
clearwind: Have we been discovered?
lonewolf: I reckon we remain hidden from the Bureau, Signum, Shamal. That nun isn't one of their operatives.
ironcount: How do you know that? You said she was suspicious!
lonewolf: She attracted my attention because she gave off magical energy. She also had the scent of a warrior. But she did not have a Device on her person.
clearwind: She could be a DAB agent who doesn't use a Device. We wouldn't immediately suspect those.
lonewolf: But no Bureau agent would risk directly encountering us face to face, the way she did, unless she had backup. And I did not detect anyone else in the vicinity.
ironcount: Then she's a loon to do so on her own.
damagetwig: Or very confident in herself. She could be a mage…
clearwind: But that's impossible. This is an Unregistered World. There shouldn't be any mages here…
ironcount: Tell that to that girl whose ribs I cracked a couple of nights ago! If she wasn't such a bleeding heart and had her oversized phaser set to kill instead of stun, she could have blown my head clear off!
lonewolf: We went through this before, Vita. That girl claimed to be a deputy of the DAB. The Bureau probably found her, trained and equipped her, and set her up to serve as this planet's garrison.
damagetwig: Or a liaison.
ironcount: A what?
damagetwig: The nun is familiar with magic. But she doesn't appear to be a DAB operative. So that makes her a local mage who uses a homegrown style of magic not recognized by the DAB.
lonewolf: An interesting possibility… but what about that DAB deputy girl we fought and drained?
damagetwig: She might be the DAB liaison with the local mages. It's obvious that she is a native of this world. The Bureau trained and equipped her to act as their representative.
clearwind: Then why would the DAB classify this planet as Unregistered?
lonewolf: The Bureau may be hiding something on this planet. Organizations like that always have skeletons in their closets.
damagetwig: Or the local mages wish to keep their existence a secret. That can work in our favor. If they are secretive and suspicious, they would take their time investigating us instead of contacting the DAB for answers. That would explain the nun approaching you and Hyatt.
ironcount: Feh! It doesn't matter who that nun works for or what kind of magic she uses! We just need take her out as soon as possible!
lonewolf: I agree with you, Vita. But rushing in with a head full of steam would be foolhardy. The nun now knows Hyatt and me by face.
clearwind: We don't have any memory altering spells and we all swore to stop killing for Hyatt's sake.
ironcount: Then I'll just hit her on the head with Graf Eisen! Wham! Instant amnesia!
clearwind: Amnesia doesn't work that way!
ironcount: Then use the Book! It's supposed to be the ultimate repository of spells, right? I'm sure the darned thing has the right spell for the job!
clearwind: That's actually a good idea. I'll check it right now.
ironcount: Well? Have you found one?
clearwind: The Book does have a memory alteration spell. But it will use up a good number of pages.
ironcount: Fine, so we go out again, find more idiots like that DAB deputy from last night, hit them on the head, harvest their Linker Cores, and feed the Book so that we can cast the memory-erasing spell on that nun!
damagetwig: Vita summed it up perfectly.
lonewolf: But where will we get the extra pages we need for the spell?
clearwind: If that nun was really a local mage, then she cannot be the only one. Someone would have taught her. And there would be other students.
damagetwig: Danger and opportunity often come hand-in-hand. Local mages may be a threat to us, but they can also supply us with Linker Cores to drain for pages.
ironcount: Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to cracking skulls!
clearwind: We have to find them first, Vita.
damagetwig: Zafira, can you track that nun? We can probably obtain the location of her fellow mages from her.
lonewolf: I'll start searching for her tonight, while Hyatt is asleep.
damagetwig: Take Shamal with you. Between your tracking skills and her area search spells, you two should be able to locate this nun quickly. But above all else, be careful. Avoid any act that will alarm our target or attract the attention of the DAB. Discretion is the better part of valor. Do not hesitate to withdraw if the situation becomes untenable. Is everything clear?
clearwind: Yes.
lonewolf: Same here.
damagetwig: Vita and I will remain here to guard Hyatt. One of us can reinforce you if you run into any troubles-
.
"Zafira? You seem deep in thought."
"I was just checking up on the girls, Hyatt."
"Oh, I see. Has Shamal finished repairing the kitchen?"
"Not yet. Signum is determined to have her work off her mistake, so Shamal isn't allowed to use her magic."
"That's going to be rough on Shamal. Still, I can see Signum's point. Magic shouldn't be the solution to everything."
If only you knew, Hyatt, Zafira thought while gazing sadly at the wheelchair that bore his crippled yet cheery Meister.
.
They made it to Mitakihara Middle School with a few minutes to spare. Hyatt was immediately surrounded by his friends the moment he drove into the classroom.
"Good morning, Hyatt-kun," welcomed a roseate-eyed girl who tied her strawberry blond hair into twin ponytails.
"G-g-good morning, Aegami-san," mumbled a glasses-waif with pupils of delicate purple and a pair of thick, waist-length braids the color of midnight shorn of moon and stars.
"Morning, Professor X," chuckled a mischievous-looking lass possessing teal hair of a boyishly short cut and pupils that matched their curtains.
"Good morning, Hyatt-san," was the refined greeting of a maiden of malachite locks and similarly-colored eyes, the Platonic ideal of the perfect Japanese lady.
"M-m-morning, Aegami-kun," shyly stuttered another bespectacled girl, this one doe-eyed and brown-haired. She clutched her old-fashioned paper notebook to her humble chest as if it were her only worldly possession.
"Good morning, Kaname-chan, Akemi-chan, Miki, Shizuki-san, Binbou-san," Hyatt greeted his classmates. He let himself get caught up in the ensuing, never-ending girls' talk, finding the chatter similar to the happy babble of his Knights back at home.
Of course, not everything the girls discussed was of good cheer. "Kamijou's in the hospital again," Sayaka glumly revealed.
"Again?" Hyatt frequently went to the hospital for his check-ups, so he could commiserate with his classmate's unfortunate childhood friend. "What did he do now?"
"Kamijou-kun made the acquaintance of a nun who was in trouble." Hitomi looked displeased. "He then proceeded to get himself into an improbable and unfortunate series of events," the green-haired girl continued, "Which involved, among other things, a bag of apples, a rosary, Bible pages, various sharp implements, and a stripper."
A nun? Hyatt suddenly remembered the nun he'd met at the convenience store. I wonder if she's the same nun...
He was about to bring up that occurrence, then thought better about it and kept mum. I don't want Shizuki-san and Miki to go all Sekai and Kotonoha on Sister-san. That is not the kind of school day I want…
"Kamijou-san is such a nice boy," Madoka admired. "He would help a complete stranger without a second thought. He really is a hero of justice."
"He sure is," Marisa softly agreed while thinking, Tomoe-senpai of the After-School Tea Time Club is still better, of course.
Madoka superior, Homura didn't have the courage to say aloud, Kamijou-san inferior.
"I'll pay him a visit during my next check-up," Hyatt offered. Guys needed to stick together, and Kamijou was his only guy friend.
"Please persuade him to cease these reckless heroics," the worried Hitomi requested Hyatt, knowing her love interest was more amenable to suggestions posed by another boy.
"Or get him to think things through first," Sayaka appended, well-aware that her beloved childhood friend was too much of a white knight laboring under the spell of the Dulcinea effect.
"I'll do just that, Shizuki-san, Miki," he promised before glancing out the glass wall of their classroom. "Ah, it looks like Saotome-sensei caught Zaffy-kun again."
Madoka giggled. "Mom thinks they should date. What do you think, Hyatt-kun?"
"I'd be happy to give away the groom," Hyatt chuckled.
.
Kazuko Saotome was ready to swoon from delight over Mister Tall, Dark, & Handsome, whom she'd corralled against the wall without paying any attention to the students gawking at her uncharacteristic aggressiveness.
I keep on forgetting to ask Aegami-kun to give me Zafira-kun's cell phone number, she reminded herself. But I'll get it this time! It's purely for teacher purposes, of course. I need to maintain good relations with potential in-laws, after all. Oh, I wonder how Zafira-kun likes his fried eggs…
For his part, Zafira suppressed a sigh. He was a wolf, a Guardian Beast, and a virtual program to boot. Human women were simply not his type.
Why did the only female who's attractive and biologically compatible have to be my sworn enemy?
.
DAB cruiser Asura
Lagrange Point One
"Bless you, Arf," Fate told her sneezing Familiar.
"Someone must be talking about you," Yuuno suggested.
Arf rubbed her nose and asked, "Whoever came up with that silly idea?"
"It's a Japanese thing. Mami told me about it…"
Yuuno's explanation abruptly tapered off. His gaze settled to the unmoving occupant of the bed, over whom they had been standing watch during the past day.
"She'll be all right, Yuuno," Fate consoled him.
"Yes. It's Mami, after all," he said to himself as much as he did to the others. "She's strong. She'll definitely make it."
.
Zafira stiffened. He could feel daggers of intensely ill intent directed at a spot between his shoulder blades.
Did the DAB find us? Or is it the nun?
Instead of the wolf-girl of his dreams, a blonde boy who deployed unbreakable shields and a nasty manhole cover, a lightning-slinging scythe-wielding blonde decked out in a bondage swimsuit and cape, the nun, or any combination of the above, his irate observer proved to be an anguished brunette boy who was grinding his brow into the doorframe of the classroom.
Oh. Zafira relaxed. He recognized the boy as one of his Meister's classmates. Nakazao? No, Nakazawa, he recalled. According to Hyatt, the boy always ended up fielding Saotome-sensei's questions regarding her cooking. But why is he angry at me?
Why, Saotome-sensei? Nakazawa silently seethed. Why are you fawning over that tall, dark, and handsome guy? Ever since he appeared, you stopped asking me your harsh questions about your fried eggs! What happened to the passionate love of our forbidden teacher-student romance? Are my shotacon bait good looks, shiny forehead, and doormat personality not good enough for you?
Trapped between a veritable miasma of love pheromones and tidal waves of boiling jealousy, Zafira finally let himself sigh. This is what I get for shipping Hyatt with the girls…
.
This is the life, Hyatt thought as the starry-eyed Saotome-sensei giggled like a love-struck schoolgirl all throughout homeroom period. Surrounded by a warm family and good friends... I hope this never changes or ends...
.
Somewhere out of this world yet right next to Hyatt's heart:
"I'm sorry, my Knights. I'm so sorry, my Meister, my Hyatt. I'm so sorry."
And the Book of Darkness wept silently as she continued to condone the slow death of her beloved master.
.
To Be Continued
.
Original Character Notes:
"Hi there, reader! I'm Hyatt Aegami, this fan fic's version of Hayate Yagami from Nanoha canon. I will be handling the notes section since Haruhi-san and Airi-san are busy."
Hyatt glanced at the aforementioned Author Apparent cosplaying the Archangel of Light and her opponent the Infernal Temptress, whose attires had gone through the shredder that was a typical Queen's Blade match.
"I got you on the ropes now, meido," Haruhi panted while using her sword as a makeshift crutch. The milk bottle hanging at her hip was not only empty but broken, its white contents dripping from her tattered clothes and bared skin.
"Darren-sama enjoyed drinking milk after describing Suzumiya-sama's current appearance," a similarly tired and mostly-naked Airi huffed as she likewise leaned upon the upright haft of her scythe, dripping sweat from her brow.
The blushing Hyatt tore his gaze from the visually appealing scene. "I'm fifteen years old and half-German, half-Japanese," he continued. "I was born in Osaka, Japan, but my family moved to Mitakihara City when I was young.
"My parents died in an automobile accident when I was ten. A family friend, Uncle Gil, rescued me and supported me financially. But he could not adopt me, so I was forced to live by myself for three years. Then, a year ago, I gained a new family, the Wolkenritter, my beloved Knights of the Cloud.
"I like the Book of Darkness, my Knights, my classmates, and anime and cosplay. My weaknesses are stairs and amorous girls. And as you can plainly see, my genes have a Y-chromosome.
"Sheo wanted to try something new for this story. As far as he knew, no one had written a reverse gender version of any major –that is, female- Nanoha character. He decided to try his hand at it, and selected Hayate, whom he liked a lot.
"So far, I've been written as a typical harem anime protagonist. But I hope to develop as a unique character in my own right." Hyatt bowed. "I look forward to your continued support."
Behind him, Airi and Haruhi had ended up wrestling all over the ground, their weapons and what remained of their clothes discarded in the heat of battle.
"Hey! What the heck do you think are you doing?"
"I'm just trying to drain your life force, Suzumiya-san…"
"Oh, is that what they call kissing back in Queen's Blade? Rejected!"
Mightily striving to ignore them by invoking the mental image of the Book of Darkness, Hyatt added, "And now, the Omake!"
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Omake!
Names To Run Away From Really Fast
If you say so, Book… Oh! I know! I'll give you a nicer name, one that suits you.
"You will?"
Just leave it to me. Hmm, let's see. How about we call you… Claire?
"I'm not a bible, my Meister, though I do have something similar to the Ragna Blade spell."
That must be a really powerful spell to merit a comparison. But I'll pass. With great power comes great responsibility. Right, then, how about Octavia?
"I dislike it. That's the name of a Witch."
Really? I just looked for the feminine equivalent of the Octavo, the book that holds the eight most powerful spells in the Discworld.
"I see. It makes sense to rename me after another tome. But I still don't like it."
Why? Is it because it was originally a male name?
"No. But Octavia makes me worry about your classmate Sayaka Miki."
Miki, huh? It's a bust, then.
"Yes. Her back is her charm point, after all."
Yeah, that girl's got back, all right. Yours is still the best I've seen, though.
Ahaha, Book is so cute when she blushes... How about Al Azif?
"That's the name of one of my childhood friends."
Huh. That's surprising. So even a magical tome goes through a childhood…
Wait a minute. The Necronomicon is real? And you're friends with it?
"Yes. Al and I used to share the same shelf in L-space."
Al? Does her human form look like a lavenderette loli who wears frilly white clothes and red ribbons galore while acting all tsundere?
"Your description of her is perfect, Meister."
My God. Lovecraft and Gen Urobuchi were right.
"Of course they are. Sir Lovecraft is a legendary sorcerer of great power while Gen Urobuchi is the common name of Urobutcher the Troll, one of the countless avatars of Nyarlathothep, who also takes the form of a genki motor-mouth loveable sex maniac of a manic pixie dream girl with expressive gray idiot hair."
…That's a bit too much information there, Book…
"I'm sorry for costing you SAN points, Hyatt."
It's all right. Strength and Dexterity were my dump stats, so I made my Will save. There's no helping it, I guess. I'll just have to keep calling you by your old name.
"It is a shame. I would have liked to have a new name."
Me, too, but there's nothing that says I can't give you a nickname in the meantime, Hon.
Hehe, I just knew that pun with the Japanese word for 'book' and the shorthand for 'Honey' would do the trick…
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Omake!
While Hyatt Was Reading His Book (And Yes, That Sounded Dirty For People Like Nodoka, Yue, and Yomiko)
"Hot!"
"Why, thank you, Shamal. I think you are hot, too."
"Eh? Ah, no, Signum, what I meant was that the Book of Darkness was hot."
"…I see. I respect and fully support your life choice, Shamal. Rest assured that you will always be my sister-in-arms."
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"Shamal, Signum thinks you're a bibliophile."
"Eh? Eeehhh! Signum, you got it wrong! I got burned by the Book of Darkness!"
"…I see…"
"Uh, Signum? Why do you have the same facial expression as the eponymous hero of the Bollywood movie Singham?"
ROAR!
"Eeep… You even have the MGM lion roaring in the background…"
"Worry not, Shamal. I will set things right. I will make the Book pay for toying with the emotions of a fair maiden like you. Laevatein?"
[Jawohl! Ladepatrone!]
"Nooo! Signum, you still got it wrong!"
"Signum, Shamal is trying to tell you that the covers of the Book got hot again and burned her fingertips."
"…I see. Thank you, Zafira. Shamal, please be more forthright the next time when explaining yourself."
"Yes, Signum…"
"That's been happening a lot lately, hasn't it?"
"Maybe we should speed up our efforts to increase its page count…"
And that was when Hyatt woke up and found Vita in his arms.
"AAAHHH! VITA! YOUR FACE! IT'S TOO CLOSE TO MINE!"
THUD!
"Meister Hyatt!"
Just another morning for the Aegami household…
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up next!
chapter v3
"Joudan mitai na mainichi… mitai, mitai, mirai…"
A jestful everyday life… I want to see it. I want to see it, that future…