Rin Matsuoka got good grades, but he was kind of a stupid guy. There was some sort of madness in his mind that made him think that since Nitori now knew Haru and Makoto, they could all hang out together.
He was right, of course, that they could, but he didn't understand that he was ruining himself. He couldn't help mindlessly comparing Haru and Nitori in nearly everything that they did. Nine times out of ten, there would be a moment where Makoto would nudge him to get him out of this trance that he'd been pulled into.
Rin didn't understand himself, and he was beginning to realise it. Like, why even bother comparing them? Really, if he was so sure that he was head over heels in love with Haru, what was there even to compare? He couldn't comprehend that this, this constant need for reassurance was... well, it was how he expressed his feelings of doubt. He was doubting that he loved Haru – but he wouldn't know it if it punched him in the face.
But more importantly – Rin had not considered Nitori. He had not considered the way that Nitori felt, or what his personality was like, or just how perceptive the boy truly was. He loved getting to hang out with Rin's friends. He felt that it was Rin genuinely attempting to include him in his life, and that in itself was so sweet and accepting, and he loved it. He loved it, and he loved Rin, he was pretty sure.
Nitori knew what love felt like, now.
They were supposed to be married in two weeks.
But no matter what he did, he could never get Rin to smile the way that the others did, never got him to laugh the way that Haru could, with just the slightest remark. He might have been a little jealous – but mostly, he just wished that he was as good as Haru. Haru, who was this fantastic swimmer and artist, and got good grades and could somehow hold a conversation without even holding the conversation. He couldn't be angry at Haru, and he couldn't be angry at Rin. Haruka Nanase was just so cool, and he couldn't help it. Even Nitori was drawn to him and that calm attitude of his: so it only made sense that Rin was too. Except, Rin had known Haru much longer and, it only made sense that after a while, you'd fall for someone like that.
Nitori knew that Rin was comparing them. But he didn't see himself as much of a competition. He didn't see how anyone could choose him over Haru. He wouldn't even choose himself over Haru.
It wasn't Rin's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. You don't control who you fall in love with.
Nitori just wished that it had been him instead.
They were supposed to be married in two weeks.
Nitori knew what love felt like, now.
He was pretty sure that he loved Rin, but he was also pretty sure that Rin didn't love him.