OPOV

Well, that was a surprise. Clarke was the one who got mom floated. Wasn't that what she was mad at Wells for? Either way, I decided to give her the chance to defend herself.

"I'm so sorry Octavia.." She started, and I didn't feel as much anger as I would've suspected. She continued. "I never meant for anyone to get floated, they just told us to do that if we see someone suspicious, so I did... I..-"

"What did you think would happen?"

"I don't know.. I really am sorry.. I was an idiot and it was so long ago and... There isn't much else I can say.."

I surprised myself with what I did next. I held her hand and said: "It's okay Clarke. You were young and stupid. You're not like that anymore."

She hugged me, and I could feel the relief she felt. She really didn't want me to be mad at her. And I wasn't. Of course it hurt. Of course my first instinct was to scream and yell and make her feel as bad as I did. But that just seemed useless. We've moved on. She'd saved me and Bellamy many times since then, and she's been nothing but nice to us. If there was ever a time to get a new start, it was the moment we landed on earth. After a few moments she pulled away.

"Don't tell Bellamy though," I said. "He won't take it well."

"Yeah," she said, with a bitter smile on her face. "That's why I'm even bothering with Matt. I'd really hate for Bellamy to find out."

"And there's no reason for him to. This'll just bring up bad memories, and he'll be mad for nothing."

"So you won't tell him?" She asked, and her expression made it perfectly clear how much this mattered to her. How could I ruin that for my brother?

"No. And you won't tell him about Lincoln."

She agreed, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We both felt bad for having to hide something from the person who'd do anything for us. But I guessed neither of us was perfect. And we both just wanted some peace and quiet for a change.

CPOV

The next few days were uneventful. The meetings with Lincoln continued, and no one got killed, on either side. Finn was discussing strategies with the ark, not knowing that me, Octavia, and Lincoln were doing the real work. Well, I wouldn't exactly call what they did there work. They seemed head over heels in love with each other, and a pang of jealousy sparked in me every time I saw them together.

I wanted that so bad. But there was nothing I could do. I could never be with Bellamy, not with all the secrets I was keeping from him. I knew that that's the way things were going to be from then on and it drove me crazy. Plan B it was. Move on. At least I wouldn't lose him as a friend. And all because of Matt.

Speaking of which, Matt didn't seem to push my limits with his requests. Usually it was just to get him something from his tent, or go say something to one of his so-called friends. I usually did that with a smile, pretending that it wasn't a big deal. Pretending that I had a choice. I did whatever I could to save what ever was left of my self respect.

Bellamy got better and always came to sit with us by the fire. Whenever I did something for Matt, he'd look at me like a puzzle he was trying to solve. He didn't understand our relationship, and how could he? But he promised to let go, so he didn't ask me about it. I was so thankful for that. I didn't want to lie to him anymore than I already did.

Every day, before we went to bed, Bellamy and I would sit down to talk about our day. It started because that was one of the only times I could visit him in the infirmary. Then it became a habit, and the best part of my day. Each day I woke up expecting the next time I get to sit down and laugh with him. It was nothing but pure fun. It was nice and light and easy, and was a huge contrast to the crap I had to deal with each day. The crap being Matt.

The end of these days came when Matt decided to take it up a notch. He decided that a girl named Christy was his next mission. Just like Octavia said, everyone knew him and his reputation, including Christy, which made her a very hard conquest. That seemed to turn him on. My job was to be nice to him, and flirt, and basically do whatever I can to make her jealous.

"Just help me with this," He said, "and you'll have done you're job."

"You mean that.." He completed that sentence instead of me.

"I'll let you off the hook. These past couple of days I got to know you Clarke. You're not as bad as I thought, not anymore. And I don't see any point in telling Bellamy. I think you'd actually be good for him. So, help me with this, and we're done for good."

Thinking about sitting next to him sent chills down my back. But what choice did I have? I wasn't ready to lose Bellamy. I knew I was being weak, and that it wasn't the smart thing to do. The smart thing to do would've been to tell him the truth and deal with the consequences, one way or another. A small part of me even said that if he really cared about me, he'd forgive me eventually, and if he didn't then I didn't need him at all. But I just couldn't.

So, after a shot of moonshine that Monty made, that was supposed to get me through the night, I went and sat next to him. I laughed at his every joke, and touched his arm softly. I kept looking at him with what I hoped were dooey eyes, and played with my hair every now and then. I kept admiring him and his endless, boring, arrogant, idiotic stories. I let him whisper things in my ear. These things, that no one else heard, were just reminders of what would happen if I backed down. I didn't need these reminders. Bellamy was always with us when that happened, and looked at me as if I were an alien. At the end he accepted our newfound relationship, and gave up on me altogether. He did his best to ignore us, but I saw right through that. He was extremely jealous. I took no joy in that. I didn't want to make him feel that way. But again, I didn't think I had any other choice.

I got up to get my master some moonshine, and saw Christy approach him. Whatever he did, in combination with my flirting, must've been enough for her. Some conquest. On my way to Matt's tent, Bellamy caught up to me.

"Hey," he said, so clearly wanting to ask me about Matt without knowing how. "what's up?"

"Fine. I'm just getting some moonshine."

"What's up with you and Matt?" I guessed he decided to take the direct approach.

"Nothing," I said, and motioned with my head to where he currently was, walking Christy to his tent.

"I didn't know you guys were such good friends." Passive aggressive much?

"I wouldn't say we were good friends. We're... acquaintances."

"Do you do what all your acquaintances tell you to do?" And so the cynicism began.

"I'm a nice person, in case you haven't noticed." This conversation was going in a direction I really didn't like.

He held my hand, and we stopped walking. "Clarke stop. I know something's wrong here. You and Matt are not the type of people to get along. I can see you despise him and yet you do whatever he asks you to. And you don't do that for anyone. I know I promised to let it go but this is absurd. Just talk to me. Whatever it is, it's okay. I'll help you."

I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to end this. "And you promise you won't be mad at me? No matter what it is?"

"Of course." I believed he actually meant it. I could see what Octavia said, that I could do on wrong in his eyes. Looking into those eyes right then, I saw how much he cared. I saw his confusion, and his will to sort things out. I saw worry and affection. All I had to do was tell the truth.

"I like him. I really do." I couldn't. I hated myself at that moment. But I couldn't.

He looked at me in disbelief and shook his head in desperation. "What will be the end with you Clarke? When are you gonna stop going for guys like that instead of someone who actually cares about you? For someone so smart, you make really, really bad choices."

If he only knew that I actually did go for someone who cared about me. That I actually made the right choice for once. I chose him. But I couldn't tell him that. If anything, this deal with Matt had been a bad choice, but again, I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. I stayed quiet, and he left. I could see his appreciation for me drop. I could see him losing faith in me.

Just one more quest, I thought, and this will all be over. I turned back to Monty's tent for the moonshine. I saw Christy storming out of Matt's tent, and realized that my work wasn't done. He stormed out right after her, but was going after me instead. He reeked of alcohol, which he must've gotten on his own, and seemed frantic and insane. He grabbed me by the arm to a place where no one could see us. That was pretty scary. He pushed me against a tree.

"That wasn't enough," He said. "You need to do more." Then he just started kissing me. I didn't know if he was still trying to make her notice him, or if he was going for the truly impossible conquest. Either way, I didn't like it one bit. I pushed him off me, but he was stronger and kept going. His hands reached places they shouldn't, and I found myself trying to scream for help. He put his hand over my mouth before I could. I was truly terrified. I never thought it would come to this. What have I done?

OPOV

Since Clarke told me about the situation with her and Matt, I kept an eye on them. That moment was exactly what I was afraid of. He was doing to Clarke what he did to Emily. I screamed for Bellamy and when I was sure that he saw me, I ran towards Matt and Clarke. I didn't have enough time to wait for him and explain what was going on. I had to stop Matt. Bellamy would catch up in a few seconds. When I reached them I tried pulling Matt off her, but he just pushed me back with what seemed like no effort. He didn't even stop what he was doing to push me. I was ready to get up and try again, but Bellamy arrived. Never have I seen him that angry before. He pulled Matt back, succeeded, unlike me, and pushed him against a trunk. He punched him so hard I thought I heard his hand break. It took Matt a few moments to come to his senses, and when he did, he quickly realized what was going on, and seemed to have sobered up.

"This is not what you think, Bellamy. Just let me explain."

Bellamy stopped punching him but was still just as angry. He was terrifying. And one look at Clarke told me why. She wrapped her arms around herself and backed up until she was well behind Bellamy. She looked traumatized and shocked, and her eyes were wet but she didn't cry. She seemed to be using every ounce of strength so as to not fall apart. She was trying to calm herself down. I got up and went to her. I didn't really know what to do, so I just told her that everything was okay. It didn't seem to help much.

"She didn't say anything.." Said Matt. Was he trying to blame this on Clarke? There was no way Bellamy would believe that. And he didn't.

"Look at her, do you think she wanted this? Are you fucking kidding me?!" Matt cringed under Bellamy's wrath, and I enjoyed every second of it. I wanted to see him crumble and I wanted Bellamy to see exactly what kind of a person Matt was. "This is what happened with Emily, isn't it?! You forced her too?!"

Realizing that he had no way out of this, he tried a different approach. "Why do you even care about this bitch? She the one who killed your mom, Bellamy! She ratted you out! She's the reason Octavia got in jail! She ruined your life! And your sister's!" He released Matt and turned to Clarke.

"Is this true?" She nodded. "How could you?! You killed my mom, do you understand that?! You got my sister locked up! Why would you do that, what the hell were you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry, Bellamy. I know that's not enough, but that's all I can say. I was young and stupid, and I'm sorry."

He looked away from her. "I thought I knew you Clarke." He said, and I knew what was coming. That was what he did. He got angry, said a bunch of stupid things, and then tried to make up for it. Clarke was in a delicate state, and I couldn't let him yell at her, or insult her, or whatever he felt like doing. I knew that once he had the chance to calm down, he'd forgive her, in a matter of seconds. The moment he could see reason again and not be blinded by his fury. So for both of their sake, I had to get her out of there before he said something he can't take back.

"Clarke, I need you to help me with something." She understood exactly what I meant, and I suspect that also my reason. She went to get her rifle and I pretended to leave but stayed behind, to see what Bellamy would do next. I hid behind a tent where I could see and hear everything.

"We cool bro?" Asked Matt, thinking he was off the hook. He reached out for a hand shake, and Bellamy clasped it, then pulled Matt closer to him, and held him for his collar.

"Whatever she did, this is Clarke. And you're gonna suffer for what you did to her. And Emily."

"You're gonna defend the girl who ruined your life?"

"I'm gonna defend the girl who had saved me and Octavia countless times, and has been nothing but kind to me since we landed, and happened to be the best person I know. She didn't deserve this, and I don't care what she did on the ark."

Matt soon realized that he was in dangerous territory, so he tried to back away, but Bellamy wouldn't let him. I hadn't stayed for that part, because I saw Clarke waiting for me at our spot with a rifle. I hoped to see a battered and bruised Matt when I got back.

As we walked to our meeting with Lincoln, I could see that Clarke was upset. "He'll get over it," I said. "He always does."

"Let's not talk about it, okay?"

And so we kept on walking in silence. Since this meeting wasn't scheduled, we had to walk all the way to his camp and leave a sign. A white Lily. It wasn't my first time but Clarke had been a little nervous. We wen't back to our meeting spot, and a few minutes later, Lincoln was there. It was like he was waiting for that sign. We told him what happened, and he offered to design a way for Matt to meet some very angry grounders. We all laughed at that, but Clarke's laugh was bitter and filled with sadness.

When she left us alone I felt really bad. I couldn't just sit there and kiss Lincoln when she was this upset. He understood, and we went to try and be with her for a little while. But we couldn't find her. We both spotted her at the same time. There were men with suits that looked like astronauts suits, and rifles that seemed much more advanced than ours. They shot her with some sort of anesthetic, and one of them carried her over his shoulder. I was about to scream, but luckily, Lincoln stopped me. He put his hand over my mouth and pulled me to him, to a hiding place behind a tree. That was smart. Us getting caught wouldn't help Clarke. But us following them might.

We followed them through the woods. I didn't know how long it's been or how far we've gone. At some point, I accidentally stepped on a tree branch and fell. It broke and made a loud cracking noise. Lincoln, ever diligent, pushed me behind a bush and stood in my place. The kidnappers turned around and saw him. He tried to run away, but not in my direction, and they quickly caught up to him. They shot him too, and two of them were needed to carry him.

I stayed silent as I watched the horror unfolding in front me. They took Lincoln. I tried as best as I could to follow them, but I couldn't keep up. My leg was hurt from when I fell and they knew these woods much better. I lost them. I lost Lincoln. I tried looking for them but came up with nothing. I looked for trails but couldn't find any, since they didn't exactly have paved roads. Panic took over me. I was losing Clarke and Lincoln and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew I couldn't lose my cool. I had to think this through. The logical thing to do, would be to go back to camp. There was nothing else I could do for them right then. I limped back to camp on what must've been my sprained ankle. I was going to look for Bellamy but he saved me the trouble. He was standing at the gate, fully armed.

"Octavia!" He said and ran over to me. "Where have you been?! I've been worried sick about you! I was just about to go looking for you!"

"I was in the woods with Clarke.." I knew I talked fast and seemed stressful. I didn't think that right then was the time to disguise my panic. Bellamy cut me off.

"Why would you go out alone at a time like this?! And where is she?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you Bellamy! They took her!"

Something seemed to take over him. Instead of being mad he was determined and goal oriented. Nothing was going to stop him from finding her.

"Grounders?" He asked. It was obvious he was just barely keeping it together. I, on the other hand, completely lost it.

"No, they wore these suits like astronaut suits, and they had these rifles that were better than ours, ones with laser beams and.. I tried to follow them, I really did, but my ankle hurt and they were fast and I couldn't and.. They took them both and I couldn't help them.." I was sobbing by that point.

"Them? Who else?"

"Lincoln," I said. I knew how much this bothered him. But I couldn't hold it any longer. The tears came rushing out, and Bellamy wrapped his arms around me. "We have to save them Bellamy, we have to."

I knew that he was trying to be strong, both for me and himself. I knew how hard that was for him. His pain mirrored my own. I just wanted to wake up from that nightmare. I wanted them back. All of that was my fault. All of it.

"Don't worry Octavia. We're going to get them. You did right by coming here and telling me. And now I'll take care of it. I swear to you we're gonna bring them back. No matter what."