Prompt: "Dear You –kind-" by Yukimiya Hinaki
Character(s): Pearl Fey
Originally Written: 2.27.2009

"The warmth would always stay by me
I was a child who didn't suspect anything.
I swallow my tears and bite my lip
So I can laugh that I've gotten stronger."

If she really was a child, then she shouldn't have been so acutely aware of what she had lost.

She knew that people commented on the fact that she took everything that had happened to her in stride, but that meant nothing. If anything, it served to prove that her coverup was efficient in deterring people from probing into her true feelings.

The few things she had left to hold onto had almost slipped away, and she had been powerless to prevent it.

She hadn't been upset over the fact that she was young and had little standing in Kurain until those events occurred. Pearl was nothing more than an instrument to her mother and Dahlia's plans, and she had nearly killed the only person she truly cared for.

People truly thought that she was naïve and mature at the same time, but she could only be one, and was merely obligated to fake being the other. In a perfect world, she could reveal her true self to even Maya, but that world existed only in her dreams. Should she even consider it, the darkness of doubt would be set loose in her mind, and that wasn't something she could afford.

She forced herself to keep believing, not only for everyone's sake, but for her own.

She had been blind to the obvious tragedy that was embedded in her past, but she dearly wished she could stay that way. As a child, she had always believed that the next day would be brighter, the future more welcoming than it used to be. Why couldn't she be that little girl anymore?

Had it been her fault? Had it been her mother's? Why did she have to grow up so fast?

Pearl wanted nothing more than to stay innocent, free from the bondage of age. Time, it seemed, waited for no one, bringing a completely different kind of pain with it. Perhaps she had more freedom now, but that paled in comparison to the responsibility that came with it.

She smiled anyway, and maybe she could convince herself to truly feel content with herself. It was, after all, the only thing she had left.