"Stupid...Stupid, stupid..." Sherlock hissed.
"So you panicked." John stated. "Big deal."
Sherlock glared at John.
"I. Never. Panic." Sherlock uttered, his voice trembling.
"Yeah...ya do." John answered. "Your emotions started to surface, so naturally you went into full blown panic mode because your body knew physical pain wouldn't be far behind."
"How would you know what I went through during those two years-" Sherlock began.
John's deadpan stare cut him off. Sherlock began to inwardly chide himself as he realized he had momentarily forgotten the full extent of John's military discharge. Admitting defeat, Sherlock sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands.
"I'm not as strong as you are John...I-" Sherlock mumbled.
"I am not strong Sherlock." John answered. "I shudder to think of where I would be right now if I'd never met you."
"John, please...I don't..I can't-" Sherlock stammered.
"You saved me from my misery" John interrupted. "And now, it's my turn Sherlock. So please. Just once, will you let another human being help you?"
"John...please..just leave." Sherlock pleaded.
"Not on your life!" John quipped.
John paused and waited for the laughter to ensue. But the reaction he received from the distraught detective was far from what he had pictured. The detective's shoulder's began to shudder, and it wasn't long before Sherlock's whole frame was trembling.
"Sherlock?" John asked worriedly.
John tried to pull Sherlock's hands away, but found he could not. Suddenly, the faint sound of labored breathing began to emanate from the man sitting beside him.
"Sherlock!?" John yelled. "All right...just stay calm..."
"Ccc...calm?" Sherlock stuttered, looking up.
John gasped as he saw Sherlock's face had paled considerably. He noted that Sherlock's whole frame was slowly starting to tense. Suddenly Sherlock inhaled and looked away. John winced as he heard Sherlock whimper.
"Are you in pain...?" John asked.
John blinked when he thought he saw Sherlock nod. A low moan escaped the detectives mouth as he began to rock back and forth. John sighed heavily as the clear signs of a panic attack came to fruition.
"You were involved in nearly every minute detail of our wedding." John stated. "How could you have possibly felt-"
"A sea...of...faces.." Sherlock sputtered.
"A sea of-" John stated. "What are you on about?"
Sherlock dropped his hands, and faced John. The weary detectives whole frame seemed to freeze in an instant.
"John..." Sherlock stated. "I tried to stay, afterwords..."
"At the dance?" John asked.
Sherlock nodded.
"And like an idiot, I-" Sherlock stammered.
John sighed heavily.
"I actually thought, that for a second...I could be just like everybody else." Sherlock stuttered. "But the moment the music started, it was as if I'd vanished."
"Sherlo-" John interjected.
"John, up until now I had thought that day I jumped off of Barts rooftop was the scariest day of my life." Sherlock interrupted. "But your wedding..."
"Yeah, thanks...?" John murmured.
"Truly, John." Sherlock stammered, his chin quivering.
Sherlock looked away as tears began to pool in his eyes. He heard John sigh heavily before feeling the Doctor place a hand on his shoulder. Sherlock gasped and met John's gaze.
"Go on.." John prompted.
"It's the end." Sherlock hissed. "Now get out!"
"The end?" John questioned, furrowing his brow.
"I let myself get involved, got too close, burned too many bridges, and now the end of an era has come to pass, and I've lost the only friend I've ever had." Sherlock boomed.
"You haven't lost anything Sherlock!" John yelled.
"Yes, I'm very sure that I-" Sherlock retorted.
"I'm. Still. Here." John hissed.