Rated: R
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like writing about them

Plot and Week #19: Ascension taunt, loyal, murmur
Couple: Ric Lansing and Lainey Winters

Never See Me Again

"So every time you hold me, hold me like this is the last time. Every time you kiss me, kiss me like you'll never see me again. Every time you touch me, touch me like this is the last time. Promise that you'll love me, love me like you'll never see me again."—Alicia Keys

"I am the villain of the story."

The cruelly uttered words were punctuated by the explosive resonance of gunfire. The weapon wrenched hard in his grip, searing heat into the skin in his palm before his fingers adjusted to aim and release another volley of bullets. Blood spread quickly across a pristine white canvas and his vision narrowed watching in cold detachment as the body slowly collapsed under the weight of death to the ground.

There weren't many regrets in his life but as he jerked from the familiar nightmare, former CIA operative Ric Lansing could feel the weight of murder on his shoulders gradually begin to lift.

He would never forget the look of betrayal in his brother's eyes when Sonny realized just how wrong he had been to trust in the newfound brother who had walked into his life two years before. It had been difficult to get the international arms dealer to trust him but eventually the charming smile and earnestness had been accepted into the small Corinthos family.

"Nothing is more important than family," Sonny had finished proudly and clapped him on the back in a brisk affectionate hug after introducing him to the rest of his organization. "Our mother would be proud to see that her sons were reunited."

The words had been a fiery blade into the depths of his heart.

For despite the criminal tendencies of the man he had been ordered to infiltrate and bring to justice, their natures had been remarkably similar. Family. Trust. Loyalty. They were values each based their lives upon. Depended upon to keep them sane in the violent turbulence of the world neither could 

escape. Each so very similar, determined to succeed, ruthless when needed and not afraid to use any means necessary to accomplish a goal. Brothers in a way that proved sometimes blood would out.

Months he spent conflicted, torn between the loving man Michael Corinthos Jr. who was tender to his wife and cherished each of his children and Sonny Corinthos who could without wavering, order the murder of any man who crossed him and in such a brutal fashion that it could clench the gut in fear and disgust for days afterwards.

And in his pursuit of the better man deep inside his brother, he had almost lost himself. Lines blurred as the affection and acceptance the orphaned little brother sought warred with the duty he had sworn to not only the law but to his country.

When he received the order to pull out, he ignored it for three months not wanting to give up the family he had found. Lily, the sister he'd always craved, who liked to mother him. Michael and Adela, the niece and nephew who looked up to him.

And always, always, Sonny.

Then there was Lainey.

Lainey of the immeasurable beauty and fathomless eyes. Lainey whose father Sonny ordered killed simply because he refused to bow under the pressure of the Cornithos organization. Lainey who had spit in Sonny's face and called him a monster as the man she adored bled to death in her arms.

His hand covered her mouth before she could shriek, pulling her tight against his body to halt the violent struggle of her body. "Listen to me! Listen!" His harsh whisper went unheard as she continued to thrash against his hold. The hammering of her heartbeat pounded against his chest, the sounds of her muffled panting filling the darkened bedroom.

A pale slash of light from the bathroom revealed the silken mocha skin not covered by the cotton tank nightgown. A direct contrast to his own tanned skin but even as her slender fingers gripped at his in a desperate need for freedom, it appealed to something deep inside of him.

Finally she stilled, though her body was pulled taught as a string. "If I let you go, will you promise not to scream and actually listen to what I have to say?"

A fierce shake of her head in denial brushed damp raven curls against his face, leaving the scent of vanilla and almonds in their wake. Once again, she struggled until he was forced back to a wall and into the shadows he had stepped out of to surprise her. The full length of her slammed into him and despite everything, the precariousness of their situation, his body flinched with awareness. "Lainey, damn it, you have to listen to me."

His lips brushed against her ear and she immediately stilled, "Please listen to me. Please, I just want to help you. I need to help you. Sonny's furious and he's going to kill you because you've been making too much noise, drawing too much attention to his business. I can't let him do it." His voice choked off, the memory of her father's death filling his head and the fucking guilt he felt for not doing his job when he had the opportunity. "Please, I, I have to make this right."

For the longest time, he thought she would refuse again, and then she gave one slow nod as all the 

tension in her body seemed to slowly drain away. He released the grip from her waist, arms slackening, as his hand fell free last before she was completely out of his arms. As she turned to face him he stiffened, knowing she would recognize his face. She searched through the darkness then lifted a hand to snap on the light in the closet next to him.

The blinding slap across his face was accompanied by her furious scream.

"You bastard!"

"I know."

"You murdering bastard, you stood there and watched him kill my father-"

"I know."

"And you have the nerve to show your face here-"

"I know. I KNOW! I KNOW!" He roared silencing her accusations, "Don't you think I know it! I have to live with it, live with what I've done when I could have stopped it." He closed his eyes, heart aching with guilt and despair. "I could have stopped it and I didn't and it's my fault. God it's my fault."

"What do you want from me?" Her voice was cold. So very cold.

Different from the warm kindness that infused her words earlier that afternoon as he watched her with some of the children at the medical clinic she worked at. From the very first he had been drawn to her. His loyalty to Sonny as he staked out her routine, her father's routine so he could report back in direct opposition to the way his eyes would be drawn to her and the gentle way she cared for her patients and the smile that made something warm clench in his chest.

He had done this to her and even though he wanted to save her, he knew she would never forgive him. But he would do what he should have done months ago. Somehow he would salvage the man who had lost himself in the mire of Sonny Corinthos' hell and it would begin with Lainey Winters.

He would break his heart to save his very soul.

His wide palmed hand gripped the empty space of the bed next to him as he struggled to bring the racing of his heart under control. A clenched fist was brought to his chest to rub at the ache there, as he looked outside of the large bay window to see the twilight sky of sunrise. He would never forget the look on her face when he raised the gun toward her, the agony in her eyes as she realized what he was going to do.

"I trusted you, Ric."

The white peasant style dress she wore fluttered in the breeze around her ankles. He remembered helping her slip into it before leaving their room to make their way down to the small chapel. She hadn't wanted a bouquet but she had deserved something and as they passed the corner where the little boy stood next to the restaurant to sell his flowers to the tourists he had passed the eager child money and made his choice.



She didn't protest as he slipped the bold white gardenia behind her ear, then buried his fingers into the playful curls as their mouths met and moved together in a kiss so breathtaking it made the blood race like wild fire in his veins.

The weeks had moved fast as he worked to get her out of the country before Sonny realized. In that time the emotions she brought to life spiraled and burned into something he hadn't known he was capable of feeling. In those nights alone conspiring, she had found a man worth trusting and had opened her heart and forgiven. And loved.

"Ric is my brother," Sonny sneered arrogantly from his side, confident in his loyalty. "I told him to find you and kill you. I wasn't aware he would take things this far," he waved a hand to their surroundings, to the matching gold bands on their fingers. "But if it gets the job done, I have no problem with my little brother getting some ass on the side."

"And when you told me you loved me?" she murmured, a tear slipping from those soft brown eyes down the side of the cheek he had traced a finger down lovingly as he promised to love, to cherish. To forsake all others onto death. "Were those just words to you?"

"You were nothing more than a job."

The nasty reply from the brother he had come to love brought home just how foolish he had been. The man who had cooked his family Sunday dinner and laughed joyously as they all sat around the table eating was a mere shadow to the monster who could think he would so caustically pledge himself to a woman only kill her under orders.

He closed his eyes away from the bitter memory and went to the window in hopes the sunrise would calm the anguish. A bare arm braced against cool glass as his forehead bumped once. The choice he hadn't wanted to make and Sonny had forced him to make it.

And he had lost so much that day.

But as warm arms slipped around his waist and the loving familiar scent of vanilla and almonds filled his senses, he couldn't help but be grateful for everything he had found.

His love.

His family.

Himself.

Fin