Weiss Reacts to Munchkin!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, we're going to have a slightly...weird chapter today. We're not going to be going with a fanfic, original story, or a video game reaction today; rather, we'll be talking about a tabletop game called 'Munchkin'. For those not in the know, it's a hilarious parody of tabletop games like DnD and Call of Cthulhu, as well as other things in general, it's absolutely brilliant, and I think more people I know should play it. I know I need to, too.

Also, for those more interested on the fanfic side of things, Emergence will be featured fairly soon (within the next ten chapters) and I-w-what? You mean I can't spoil THAT either? Damn you.

Okay, well, let's get this chapter on the road!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more RWBY dakimakura, only with Ursa and Beowolves instead of the girls (AoT fans, feel free to giggle at that reference).

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

Munchkin belongs to Steve Jackson Games.

Yang sighed. "I'm boooooored!" She yawned and crossed her arms, pouting. "Someone do something!"
"Maybe we'd have the mecha club to go too if you actually got up and told the Student Council about it already!" Blake grumbled.

"Ren's sick again." Yang reminded her. "I know. I overheard Nora trying to feed Ren chicken soup when I went to the council room."

"And of course the vice HAS to be a sane person..." Blake rolled her eyes. "Dammit. We'll have to wait for him to get better..."
"Good." Weiss smiled smugly. "It'll be one more day of peace before you people start blowing things up with giant robots."
Ruby shrugged. "I dunno, Weiss. Blowing things up with giant robots sounds cool."

"On the plus side, I got the kinks worked out of the Sakuradite generators." Blake stated to Yang. "I've managed to get it to work so it won't blow a fuse if we do anything apart from move. Having said that, at least it's a far better source than the generator-slash-Spiral drive hybrid and Aura detectors I have the Gurren Lagann and Nirvash running on, considering what with Schnee funding, I have enough money to buy Sakuradite. I've also recreated the energy fillers for-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, we can recreate the Black Knights." Yang waved her off, before grabbing her by the collar and staring into her eyes insanely.

"But can we do something FUN?! I'm begging you, I'm DYING here! DYING!"

Ruby raised a finger. "We could watch Lagrange!"
"Nah, with our luck, the REAL Jersey Club might drop in on us while we're watching it." Blake shook her head. "Next?"
Yang smirked. "Puella Magi?"

"No." Blake bluntly cut her off.

"Or we can play that card game you two have under the bed that you never play." Weiss suggested. "What was it, Munchykins?"
Blake and Yang simultaneously snapped their fingers. "Munchkin!"

"Of course." The brawler giggled. "That's the perfect game. A parody game for a parody fic, hm?"
"Good idea." Blake answered, nodding. "It'll help me relax from finally getting those damn things to work at any rate..."

Ruby cheered. "Yay! Awesome stuff! Wait, it's for six players, right?"
"Hm. Point taken." Yang nodded. "We might have to drag a couple in here to play..."

Weiss sighed. "Please, tell me this game isn't complicated. I don't know how to play it. Never saw a point in playing games like this except chess."
"Which I totally thrash you in~" Yang giggled.

"S-shut up! That t-time was luck!"
"Please, any chess amateur could see your opening and check you easily." The brawler retorted. "I'm too awesome to lose to someone so easy anyway~"
Blake nodded. "Yep, it's settled. We're playing Munchkin.

Oh, but one thing. It's my game, so we're playing by my house rules."

Weiss looked suspiciously at her. "What do you mean by that?"
"There isn't anything...too unfair in them. Just some balancing to do." Blake casually stated. "Some stuff to make it more fun."
"I'm already suspicious..." Weiss grumbled.

Several minutes later...

Minako and Penny sat in the dorm, watching Blake set up the cards and the board- which was unneeded but looked cool and helped them keep track of the game's progress anyway- on the floor between bunks.

"Are you friends with Friend Ruby and Weiss?" Penny asked Minako energetically. The girl nodded.

"Uh...yeah. Not too close, but we're friends."

"Sal-u-tations!" Penny saluted her. "I'm Penny! I'd like to be your friend too!"
"Uh-"
The gynoid gave her a hug. "I will take that as an affirmative, Friend! May I ask your name?"
"Minako?" She sounded confused.

'Dammit, big bro never had it this weird. Or maybe she just really likes me already...'

"Okay, Friend Mina!" Penny cheered, causing Blake, who was holding a drink in her hands, to nearly spit her drink out and stare at her in surprise.

"Uh..." Minako laughed. "It's Minako..."

"Okay, Friend Minato!"

"...sure, let's go with that."

Yang giggled. "Ah, Penny. Now I know why we invited you!"

"Where was everyone else?" Weiss inquired. "Why did we have to invite Penny?"
"Well, Jaune's currently off helping Cardin with his Huntsmanship assignment, Pyrrha's...gone somewhere, I know it isn't stalking Jaune, else my cameras would be telling me..." Yang said, listing down most of their friends. "Velvet's being Velvet and being creepy somewhere, we know about Nora and Ren, most of the Arc sisters are off doing their own thing, Euphie's lost in the library again, and Elsa's sleeping off her day with your mom, Weiss.

And of course Elf wanted to show everyone he didn't forget Penny. And nobody likes Sun or Neptune, so we'll go with that."

"Riiiight." Weiss looked at her strangely. "Okay, Blake. How do we play this thing?"

"It's really simple." The catgirl cleared her throat, before whistling. Norn dropped from the ceiling, causing Weiss to jump slightly.

"W-where'd YOU come from?"

"As requested, Miss Belladonna." The Persocom presented her with a scroll, while holding a cup of tea in her hands.

"Thank you, Norn. How are you drinking tea, anyway?"
Norn blinked, her face remaining flat and stoic. "The Life Dust granted me sentience and other things, including the ability to taste. This tea is utterly delicious."

"I see you've been indulging yourself." Yang giggled.

"If you must excuse me..." Norn said flatly. "I must return to my team dorm to have tea with Neptune and Sir Lyserg."

"Go ahead." Blake nodded briefly to her, and Weiss watched her jump back into the vent she climbed into the room from and disappear off without a sound.

Minako looked on in awe, her mouth slightly ajar. "Whoa...I want a Persocom like that..."

"As a combat gynoid, I can guarantee you, Friend Minami, that I am better combat prepared than her!" Penny said cheerily. "

"Did Penny just get...jealous?" Weiss blinked confusedly.

"...I need to get you to say hi to a friend of mine, called Aigis." Minako chuckled. "I think you two might like each other."

Blake cleared her throat loudly. "Okay! Ladies, more ladies, and Weiss!"
"Hey!" The heiress glared at her.

"Time to announce the basic rules of the glorious manly game of Munchkin!" Blake declared proudly.

"Firstly, the first person to get to level 10 wins!" The catgirl pronounced.

"Secondly, one can only gain levels from a card, a card's effect, or the killing of a monster! Thirdly, the game is to be played in turns with two phases- one turn drawing a card from the 'door' pile and taking its effects, whether it be a monster or a curse, the second taking a card from the loot pile should the monster be killed!

Fourthly, if one dies, they are dead! Gone! Kaput! All their stuff is distributed towards everyone else, and they must start from level 1! Oh, and anything else on their character, like any races and classes acquired, that's gone too!

Everything else should be self-apparent!"

Weiss nodded assuredly, taking a player card and a player piece- it was a small, big-nosed man with a horned helmet, a massive hammer strapped to his back and a chainsaw. She chuckled at their appearance.

"Alright. I will take the blue piece and the blue player card, as blue is clearly superior to all other colors!"

"I call green." Blake shrugged. "Because spirals. "

"Red!" Ruby waved her hand.

Yang plucked her card from the pile. "Yellow."

"I guess I'll take purple, then." Minako shrugged.

"Orange it is!" Penny yelled.

"Okay, well, the game is now in session!" Blake then produced two dice, with the one face being embossed with the face of the player piece instead of a single dot.

"Roll for turn order."

"...a two?!" Weiss complained. "Seriously?!"
"I got a twelve." Yang smirked. "Guess I go first."
"Six here." Ruby munched on a cookie.

"Seven." Minako waved her dice around.

Blake and Penny both acquired an eight and a three respectively. Blake nodded, handing out five cards to everyone.

"These should be a fair split from both decks."

All six players took a look at their cards. Yang chuckled with barely-suppressed glee.

"Yes...yes...YES!"

"Huh." Ruby nodded. "Not bad."

Weiss looked around at her opponents, before looking at her own cards.

'Hm...' She thought carefully. 'A warrior class card, with a Swiss Army Polearm...this looks interesting.

And a hireling minion. Perfect.'

"Right!" Yang said confidently. "Well! I'll place down my dwarf card and my warrior class card, and then use THIS nice card..." She held up a card labelled 'Fold, Spindle and Mutilate'. "...to go up to level two, before I play my nice Eleven Foot Pole. Okay, so I'll kick down the door and...

...sweet, a Potted Plant." The brawler chuckled.

Weiss stared at her. "Seriously? That's a MONSTER?!"

"Of course!" Yang chuckled. "Parody game."

"T-that's hardly fair! How come YOU get such an easy monster?!"

"Luck of the draw." Yang winked at her, before easily beating the plant. "Okay, now that I beat it, I go up a level and get treasure...which means..." She plucked a card from the treasure pile. "Hah, sweet, a level up card. So I went up TWO levels! I'm level four!"

Weiss grumbled. "This is absurd! Her stupid luck is ridiculous!"

"My turn." Blake declared, playing her own dwarf and cleric cards, setting down a large mallet card. "Okay, so Durkon kicks down the door and sees an undead horse. I'm a cleric with a large mallet, so I discard my rat stick to gain another bonus. I kill it."

"Wait!" Yang interrupted her. "It gets a bonus against dwarves!"

"I play the baby card to take that pathetic bonus away! Nobody can beat my manly dwarf!"

"Touché, Belladonna..." Yang grumbled as Blake killed the monster, moved her piece up a level and took a treasure.

"Okay, sweet. A Hoard card, which means two more!" Blake pulled out two more cards from the treasure pile.

"Hah...oh, Kamina-sama, you look down gladly on me today!"

Minako raised a finger. "I guess it's my turn then. Kick down the door and..."

Slowly, the next couple of turns went without incident, as Ruby, Minako and Penny went through their turns without intervention from Blake and Yang.

Finally, Weiss sighed. "Good grief, it's my turn. Right, I kick down the door..." She drew a card, looking at it.

"...you're joking. A curse that makes me unable to fight the undead?!"

"Eh, at least you can loot the room." Blake shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Bah...this is irritating..." The heiress grumbled as she rooted around the pile for treasure. "...hmph." She placed down a pair of 'Boots of Butt-Kicking'. "How uneventful."

"Okay, my turn, MY TURN!" Yang cheered. "Kick down the door, see a drooling slime, kill it instantly, gain a level, gain the treasure..." The brawler laughed. "And a nice merry haul of 'flaming armor'!"

Blake scoffed. "My turn. Kick down the door, fight the lawyer, kill him, take a level, take two treasures..."
Weiss facepalmed. "I cannot believe this game has a lawyer monster..."
"Like we said, Weiss, parody." Blake grinned. "Also, he's got a merry haul, alright..." She giggled, presenting two level up cards.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

"Level five, right next to Yang." Blake smirked. "Your move, Minako."

"Okay. Err, kick down the door...oh, dammit, a pterodactyl." She sighed, looking somewhat regrettably at her halfling race card. "Damn racial bonuses...pass the die, I'll roll."

Weiss did so, watching her roll. Luckily for the girl, she rolled high enough to escape.

Ruby's turn went without incident. She quietly beat the monster she was given and smiled at the hoard, nodding at Penny to move.

"Okay, Friend Ruby! I shall kick this door down with much happiness!" Penny plucked a card from the pile. "It confuses me why it's called 'kicking down the door' but I digress!

I get a monster modifier...interesting...and now to loot the room!" She took a card from the other pile, studying it briefly and looking over to Weiss.

"Now, Friend Weiss!"

Weiss chuckled as she drew a card. "Okay. Phew, a mere tiny germ creature. This will be-"

Suddenly, Yang placed down two cards on it. "You see that level three thing? Yeah, it's level thirteen now."
"WHAT?!" The heiress stared at the two cards her opponent had placed.

"Don't worry, Weiss! I'll come to the rescue! Polymorph Potion!" Ruby slammed down her own card, dispelling the monster entirely. She smiled happily at her girlfriend.

"I've got your back! You can even take the treasure~"
"Tch. Screw you, Yang. Thank Dust for Ruby..." Weiss glared at the brawler.

"Dammit, Rubes!" Yang pouted. "For a moment, I thought I nearly made Weiss ragequit..."

"I am not so easy to beat, Xiao Long!" Weiss declared. "Just you wait, I'll get you back soon enough..."

'Soon enough, Yang. Your comeuppance will come!'

Half an hour later...

By this time, most of the players had managed to get up to Yang's level, thanks to her drawing only monster modifiers and curses, for the most part.

Weiss had managed to get pretty far up the level ladder- level eight, two levels from winning- and she was proud.

Yang pouted as she added yet another 'Undead' modifier to her hand. "Okay, Blakey, it's your turn..."

"I kick down the door and get the Bullrog!" Blake sighed. "Now, it may appear to be very strong, but wait, I have this nice blank card!" She held an indeed blank card up. "And, as we're playing by my rules...I declare this card to be a Core Drill! Which, according to my house rules, makes the card gain a plus 10 bonus if the monster is more than ten levels above me."

"T-that's unfair!" Weiss grumbled. "What kind of fair card is that?! Y-you and your stupid anime obsessions, you moron!"

"Touché." Yang scoffed. "But wait until I play THIS card on you!" She slammed down a curse card. "Goodbye to your Core Drill. I play the curse that you lose-"
"Wishing Ring. No curse."
"Damn you." The brawler frowned as she removed the card. "You're boring!"

Ruby shrugged and whistled, playing adding on a modifier to the monster.
"W-oh, you're joking." Blake grumbled. "You just...negated my Core Drill bonus."
"It's now a baby monster~" The reaper smirked. "Aaaaand...you're just underleveled enough not to fight it."

Blake scowled as she rolled the dice to get away. "I'll get you for that, Ruby..."

Yang leaned in. "Actually, I have an idea..." She whispered into Blake's ear, causing Weiss to get suspicious.

"This sounds like a stupid antic's about to happen..."

Penny shrugged, looking fairly carefree. "Don't worry, this game is almost an assured victory! My character is combat ready!"

Minako drew a card for her turn. "Oh...really, Ghoulfriends?"
Weiss blanched. "That is a terrible pun and the person who made it should be disappointed in themselves.

"Eh...I'll beat it." Minako shrugged. "Nothing...bad? No? Okay. Treasure time-"
"Trojan Horse." Blake declared, slamming down the aforementioned card and then a monster called the 'Hydrant'.

"Oh, allow me to play this other thing on you too. Malign Mirror! No equipment for you now!"

Minako pouted. "Really?"

"Yep. Have fun-"
"Polymorph Potion."

"REALLY?!" The catgirl looked on in disbelief as the brunette discarded both cards Blake had thrown at her and claimed her treasure.

"I'm just too awesome for you~"

"Y-you..."

Penny played her turn without incident.

Then, finally, it was Weiss' turn. She smirked as she drew her card, a monster called a Frost Giant.

Worth two levels, considering it was easy for her to beat, she could easily win the game AND get her own back at Yang.

"I will win now! How do you feel, Xiao Long? To be beaten by me!" Weiss declared smugly.

Suddenly, Blake and Yang flooded her with cards. Suddenly, Weiss was facing a Plutonium Dragon and 3,652 Orcs, with the former with its child and undead, and the latter cloned and similarly undead. Weiss blanched.

"It's fine! I can escape this! I play Loaded Die-"

"I play a small items curse. No Loaded Die for you~" Yang winked.

"Y-you!" Weiss glared at her. "Fine! Then I shall play my instant wa-"
"I play MY small items curse." Blake grinned. "Nothing for you."
"S-stop! You idiot!"

Minako, Penny, and Ruby chimed in. "We'll help you!"

"Thank you!" Weiss sighed. "Now I might actually have a chance of winning this fig-"
"I curse Minako to lose a level, Ruby to lose her class AND a level, and Penny is now cursed with necrophobia, forcing her to run away." Yang chuckled, presenting the relevant cards. "Oh, and I kill your hireling."

"Which, coincidentally, means Weiss here can't fight these monsters. Run away~"

Weiss just stared at the change in her circumstances in shock, before shaking her head and standing up.

"Screw this! Y-you people are idiots!" She picked up her bolero jacket and stormed out.

Yang and Blake hi-fived, grinning.

"That's teamwork."

"Yep, Blakey~" The brawler laughed. "We did indeed."

Minako sighed. "You guys...that wasn't nice."
"It's Munchkin, Minako. Its tagline says 'Stab your Buddy'." The catgirl shrugged. "I'm only following what it says~"

Penny frowned. "Maybe I should go after Friend Weiss..."

Yang chuckled. "No, she'll be fine. She's a big girl, she can handle losing.

So, guys, shall we finish this game?"

And so they did.

After a miraculous turn of events, Penny won.

Somehow.

END

A/N: A nice, wacky, hilarious chapter to go PERFECTLY with the next one. The possibly long-awaited sequel to one of the more awesome chapters of Volume One...

*drumroll* Blake and the Great Mecha Battle, Part 2! Yes. We're doing this. Points if you can guess who's going to show up in it!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, thoughts, suggestions, criticisms and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!