As many of you already know my beta and BFF is DevilWriterN. Outside of 'Stranger Than Fiction' we collaborate on a lot of stuff via skype that you guys have never seen before. I asked her permission to bring you the following.
We got an idea of a penpal type story where Dante and Vergil write letters back and forth to one another...lol So what you have below I had to format from a Skype chat we had a long while back. DevilWriterN did Vergil's letters and I did Dante's.
Enjoy!
Letters
Dear Vergil,
How you been? Things are good here at the office, but then again things were always more interesting without you looming over my shoulder glowering at me. :D You get laid yet? I'm pretty sure it will resolve many or your current issues. Time to brush out the cobwebs and put the damn thing to use. I'm sure your hand is even considering a restraining order at this point.
Me, I've been getting laid left and right. Still haven't convinced Lady to hop in the sack with me yet, but I assure you it's only a matter of time.
-Dante
--
Dear Dante,
Learn how to spell... I'm sick of reading your awful writing. Things have been quite wonderful actually with you not being around. And I didn't 'loom' over your shoulder and glower at you, I simply was making sure you were doing the paperwork properly since you always had a knack for screwing that up if I wasn't helping you all the time.
And me 'getting laid' as you put it is none of your business. The 'thing' you are referring to is quite cob-web free, I might have you know. And no restraining order is necessary.
Speaking of restraining order, how is that going with that girl from Love Planet?
Yours,
Vergil
--
Dear Vergil,
How do you spell asshole? Or, stuck up self absorbed jerk of a brother with an ass so tight you could break a broom with it?
You get laid yet? I recommend it... highly as the source of all your problems. I also recommend astroglide if you can't find anyone to stick it in. A little lube goes a long way.
Web free eh? Further proves my point you jack off far too much. You are sure to go blind...
-Dante
--
Dear Dante,
Then it is amazing dear brother, that you still have your vision if that's the case.
Yours,
Vergil
--
Vergil,
It's very easy when you have so many women to look at... :D
-Dante
--
Dante,
Yes... how much do you pay for all of those women? It's no wonder you're always broke.
Yours,
Vergil
--
Vergil,
Probably about the same you paid the last hooker you were with. Oh wait... the money exchange rate has gone up since the early 1900's.
-Dante
--
Dante,
You know, Dante, sometimes you really challenge my mental fortitude. It's amazing we're even related.
Yours,
Vergil
--
Vergie,
Not sure what that is, but please be careful the next time you come over. I don't wanna catch it.
-Dante