Author's Note: I find I always listen to depressing music when I write this story. And with this chapter I'm going to have to get my sad on. So enjoy. And stuff.

Chapter 11

I knew that it would be the only time I'd ever see him cry. I knew I would never see it again. Yet in my heart it would always be precious, knowing that he felt just as everyone else and that he was human inside. I was not falling in love with a god, someone above human emotions. He was human somewhere inside, maybe it was deep inside. But it didn't matter to me. I would always know it was there. If only he had anticipated on me being human.

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I saw her laying there on the ground and I knew. I knew she was gone. I would never be able to say goodbye. I would never be able to tell her how much she meant to me. She died on that cold bathroom floor with no one. A blood curdling scream escaped from the confines of my throat. Tears burst from my eyes. I ran to her and I held her lifeless head in my arms. The liquid flowed from my eyes like a waterfall that would never stop. My cries could not be silenced. Tom tried to pry me from her but his words fell on deaf ears.

She was gone. She had been my sister, my one and only friend in the world. She had been my everything. We had laughed together, cried together. She had braided my hair and we had read to each other. She had been there for me through everything. And I had lost her. The icy grip of death had stolen her from me. I could not accept it, nor could I comprehend it. I shook and trembled as I tried to coax her to come back. She had to be pretending.

The professors pried me from her body, as I continued to scream. She would wake up. She would come back. She had to be pretending. She just had to be. No one would listen to me. They took me to the infirmary. I cried hysterically. No one could understand my acute pain. She was my everything. She was my world, my best friend. Until the end of time we had promised to be best friends. Teachers tried to console me. I would have none of it. How could they possibly understand? How could they possibly comprehend the bond we shared? Nothing could comfort me. I tried to cry myself to sleep. I wanted to die too. I didn't want to be alone in the world.

"Stop acting like you want to die. Secretly you're glad she's gone. You just don't know it yet." I shot up and looked Tom straight in the eyes.

"How can you even think that? She was my best friend and I loved her more than anything!"

"But you're glad. You will miss her but you're glad she's gone. No more worrying about her well being, no more looking after her. You won't have to try to explain her to your other friends, you won't have to defend your friendship anymore. She won't be a burden on you anymore."

"That's not true! She was never a burden to me!"

"You're lying to yourself! She got in your way! You didn't want to deal with her anymore! You just don't want to admit that to yourself. You will feel better fairly soon."

"Fine! What you say is true! I never wanted to explain her to everyone. But I would do everything and more to get her back. Race doesn't bloody matter to me and it never did!"

"Just because it doesn't matter to you doesn't mean it doesn't matter to society! The place you are forced to live in gives a damn Bianca! And you have to follow their rules not your own."

"Shut the hell up! You took her from me! If it wasn't for you she wouldn't be dead!"

"Isn't that true of you too? If you hadn't been snooping your nose in what it didn't belong in she wouldn't have been in the bathroom. She would have been in the library or her dorm room! You are equally to blame! You just want to focus it on me so you don't feel as guilty!"

"I didn't kill her you did! Your stupid daddy issues killed my best friend!" I started bawling into my knees. It couldn't be my fault. It just couldn't be. I had been trying to protect her. I didn't want her to get hurt. That had not been my intention at all. Tom crawled onto the bed as well but I pushed him away.

"Don't touch me you monster! Why couldn't you be damned normal like the rest of us? Why can't you just accept that your father never loved you or your mother and no matter what you do he never will? I accepted that a long ass time ago so you should be able to do that too."

"Well you'll be happy to know I added to my monster status. I blamed Rubeus Hagrid for the whole thing. No one even suspected it was me. Now you just have to promise you won't tell."

"And why the hell would I do that?"

"Because I can kill you next."

"Go ahead! I don't want to live anyways! I have nothing to live for without her."

"You have me. You said you'd never leave me. Or did you forget all of that."

"Tom she was the closest thing to family I will ever have."

"What about Professor Slughorn? You consider him family. And what about Adrien? He cares about you. A lot of Slytherin girls like you too. I heard Bridgette Nott is nice."

"It's not the same. She didn't like me because I was pureblood or rich. She liked me because of me. And we knew each other better than anyone."

"Well if you won't live for others than live for her. Live the life she will never be able to have. Live for her. She wouldn't want you to die with her. She would want you to stand and fight." I knew he was right but I knew he still killed my best friend.

"And to be fair I didn't kill her. I didn't even plan to kill her. The basilisk killed her. On accident." I sighed, knowing he didn't do it on purpose. But that was still considered manslaughter.

"It's still your fault she's gone Tom." He took me in his arms and whispered, "I know. I'm so sorry. I was going to stop but now I can never go back. None of us can. I hope that some day you can forgive me." I nodded into his shoulder, but I wasn't sure how I would ever get over it. She was gone. Forever. And I could never tell her how much I loved her.

Over the next few days I couldn't help myself. I kept crying, wishing she was still here with me. The school was not closed because they charged Hagrid with the crime, which made me sick to my stomach. I felt as though my mourning would never cease. I went to class feeling empty, feeling like a shell of my former self. I did what I had to do to get on with life, but I wasn't happy in the slightest. I knew that I would never learn to live with myself.

I sat outside near the forrest, looking in. I wondered what it would be like if I just ran into it and let myself be killed, entangled in it's dangerous beauty forever. I saw a familiar dark headed mop sit next to me and I felt nothing. I did not smile, I did not courteously say hello. I merely acknowledged his existence. I wished I could just forget the world and die.

"You can't keep blaming yourself." I looked into Adrien's eyes and I knew he really felt that way. But it would always be partially my fault.

"Well I do. And poor Hagrid was blamed for all of this. I could have stopped Tom."

"No you couldn't have. He was going to do this no matter what happened."

"If I had just told him that I wouldn't leave him earlier he might have stopped this."

"His family issues are not your fault. I could have said that to him too. I am his best friend for God sakes."

"Now you're blaming yourself. Wasn't the point of you talking to me to make me feel like it was no ones fault?"

"Oh no it is definitely Tom and the basilisk's fault. I just don't want you to blame yourself." I looked into his eyes and I knew. I had always known.

"Why do you stay with Tom even after everything."

"Because I'm falling in love with him. I know it's wrong but I can't help myself."

"I know. I just wish you felt that way... about me."

"I know Addy. I wish I could be in love with you too. But I can't. I hope you understand."

"Yeah it's not your fault."

"So who are your parents thinking of engaging you to?"

"Well there are only two candidates. Veronica Bennett and Bridgette Nott."

"Well I hope you pick Bridgette. Veronica is impossible."

"I can't stand Veronica so I am picking Bridge."

"Addy, can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah anything. What do you need?"

"If I can't marry Tom, will you marry me instead?" He looked me in the eyes with the most confused look. I felt guilty, but I had to ask him.

"I don't want to marry Abraxas. If I marry you at least you'll know that there is no hope of me loving you back. I don't want to enter into anything with the other partner not understanding. But at least you are one of my best friends. I wouldn't completely hate being married to you." He looked off into the woods, and he probably finally understood what I was feeling.

"Sure Bianca. If it doesn't work out with Tom I can marry you." He gave me a weak smile and I knew his heart was breaking. But I couldn't lie to him.

I slowly walked into our bathroom and sighed. I missed her so much. I sat near the window and glanced out. Tears started rolling down my down my cheeks.

"Bianca you look ugly when you cry," giggled a soft little voice. I turned around and looked into the ghost eyes that I knew so well.

"Myrtle?"

"Did you miss me?" I reached out and put my hand to her face.

"More than you will ever know my friend. More than you will ever know."