Chapter 11
Maura was discharged from the hospital the next day, much to Jane's surprise. She wasn't too happy about her leaving the safety of her room, especially with Pike still being out there and she was worried about the injuries Maura had sustained. It seemed however that the medical examiner was eager to leave and she sent Jane a beaming smile when she walked into the room. Maura stood by the bed, dressed in a pair of jeans, a dark pink V neck shirt and dark brown boots. Jane's eyes raked over the younger woman's frame and shook her head in disbelief. Only three days ago Maura had been bleeding so severely from her neck wounds that nobody knew for certain whether she would survive and here she stood; bright and beautiful as always.
"How come you still get to look good after having been through hell?" Jane groaned as she picked up the bag with Maura's stuff from the end of the bed. The brunette smirked and Jane smiled too. "Got everything? Toothbrush, painkillers?"
"All in the bag" Maura smiled and her hazel eyes twinkled. She took a step in Jane's direction. "Hey, you never told me what file it was Korsak brought you yesterday. Has it got anything to do with Pike?"
Jane felt her heart sink in her chest and she began messing with one of the zips on Maura's bag. She did not plan on telling Maura what it was she had done. It was a secret she would keep to herself, forever if she had to. Her voice trembled a little. "Err.. Yeah… some background info on that son of a bitch. Still didn't help us find him though." She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and picked up the bag, swung it over her shoulder and glanced at her best friend. "Well, c'mon then. Your limousine awaits, Dr Isles"
"Why thank you, detective Rizzoli" Maura answered and she followed Jane out of the room and left the door open behind her. It was Jane who glanced back over her shoulder at the bed where Maura had spent the last three days. She could still see her lying there, pale and weak, and she found it hard to comprehend they were actually leaving now. Jane would rather that Maura stayed but when she had suggested that option to her the previous night Maura had been reluctant to accept it. She told Jane she would feel better recovering at home. There was nothing else Jane could do than to accept that.
The journey through Boston was relatively painless and Jane managed to go through the whole journey without swearing at any of the other road users who were not driving to her liking. Every so often she glanced at Maura who stared out of the window. Jane's eyes lingered on the stitched up cuts on Maura's neck and she was painfully reminded of what had happened. She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat away and felt her heart ache in her chest. She knew that sooner or later they would have to talk. She wasn't sure whether she wanted it to tonight, tomorrow or next month.
Maura followed Jane inside and it wasn't until Jane turned the key and opened the door that the brunette seemed to become aware of where they were. She turned to look at the raven haired detective in surprise. "But Jane, this is your apartment."
"Really? We drove all the way here and you only just figured that out?" Jane snorted as she closed the door behind her and turned around to find Maura walking towards her couch. The brunette sat down and her eyes found Jane's across the distance of the room. She arched an eyebrow.
"Jane, why are we here? I thought you said you were taking me home."
"I did. My home." Jane answered with a grin and dropped Maura's bag to the floor. She walked across her apartment to the kitchen, opened the cupboards and pulled out two glasses and then turned to the fridge to pick up the Chinese take away menu stuck on the door. She could feel Maura follow her with her eyes and she turned to meet her gaze. The corners of her mouth twitched in amusement. "There is one thing my place doesn't have that your place does."
Maura frowned. "And what is that?"
"My mother"
Maura grinned in understanding and took the glass of cold water Jane gave her when she sat down beside her. She sipped from it and then eyed up the menu in Jane's hand. Her hazel eyes sparkled as she met Jane's gaze. "Are you just going to sit with that or are you going to order something?"
"Oh look at you…" Jane smiled and showed Maura the menu. "What is it you fancy?"
"I'll have whatever you're having" the brunette answered with a tiny smile and then leant back into the cushions with a pained expression on her face.
"Hey, you OK?"
"Just tired" Maura answered and she peered at Jane through her eyelashes. When Jane didn't answer she sat back up and her eyes searched the older woman's face. "Jane, what's going on?"
"This whole business with Pike…" Jane groaned and she rubbed the back of her hands. Her fingertips caressed the thick scars on her skin. There was anger in her voice. "It annoys me that we can't find him."
"You will, Jane."
Jane sighed. She hoped Maura was right but it was the method in which they would find Pike that played on her mind more than anything. She was desperate and she had done the one thing she knew could bring her closure. Nobody knew besides Korsak. It was his idea to get Doyle involved in the first place but that had been before they knew about Pike and they thought Maura's kidnap was mob related. Would he still understand why she did what she did even though they knew it had nothing to do with Doyle? She only hoped he would. He was her partner. He had her back. He would support her. Jane glanced at Maura, nervously. She wasn't so sure Maura would.
"Can we talk?" Maura unexpectedly said and she put her glass down. She tried to catch Jane's gaze but the detective averted her gaze. "Jane?"
"Maybe you should get some rest" Jane ignored what Maura had said. She stood up and began pacing in front of the TV unit. She pressed her hands together in anxiety and stared at her feet. "I can order the Chinese and you can go and have a lie down in the bedroom and I'll wake you when it gets here and…"
"JANE!" Maura called out and the dark haired woman stopped and turned around. "Stop this!"
Jane looked helpless, Maura thought. Her dark eyes had filled with sadness and fear and combined with the dark rings under her eyes it looked like Jane was the one who really needed the rest. Maura had not seen her so frantic since Hoyt's escape. Jane was scared and Maura knew it. And she knew what the dark haired detective was afraid of. It was the same thing Maura was afraid of. It was the elephant in the room. The one thing neither of them wanted to talk about but knew they had to. There was no way around it. If they wanted to move on, they had to talk.
"Maura…." Jane sighed and swallowed. "I…."
"Falling in love is considered a life changing experience" Maura said softly, her eyes fixed on Jane. The other woman stared at her, bewildered. "The term 'falling' in this case implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky and irreversible. Increased levels of dopamine give the same euphoric experience as the use of cocaine. Fenylethylamine causes an increased heart rate as well as increased perspiration."
"Thank you, Maura" Jane said dryly and brushed her hair out of her face. "Only you could manage to remove any and all romance from something like falling in love…" Maua looked rather sheepish and Jane sighed. "I don't know what to say, Maura."
"Start with how you're feeling…" Maura suggested.
Jane slowly walked towards the window and stared outside. It was going dark. "I feel like I am responsible for what happened to you. Everything Pike did is because of how I feel about you. He knows that you mean everything to me…" Her voice trailed off and comforted by the fact that Maura could not see her face Jane allowed the soft tears to trickle down her cheeks. "I have never felt this way before. About anyone. I thought I was in love but never before did I feel like somebody can complete me the way you do. You are so ridiculously intelligent, anti-social, goofy and amazing and yet you are… everything I could possibly ask for. I didn't even realise it first. You just became a part of my life, of me. You were just there, wherever I turned. I grew used to seeing you here, to be at your place and share more time together than any other married couple and yet…" She paused and swallowed. "I never even knew…"
"That's OK, Jane…"
She spun around. She had never even heard Maura approach but she stood right behind her. Two arms slipped around Jane's waist and hazel eyes found coffee brown. The intensity was something Jane had never seen before.
"It's OK" Maura said softly. "I know what you mean."
"Do you?" Jane questioned in surprise.
"To find someone who makes you a better person without you even realising it is something I never even believed in. I had seen how my mother and father loved each other, how they shared everything, but I never believed another love like that could exist…" Maura spoke quietly and she swallowed. "To know you were hurt, to know that Hoyt wanted to take you away from me… I could not live with that feeling, Jane. And at first I didn't understand why. But now I do. I know what I feel, Jane…"
"Maura…" Jane whispered but her lips were covered by Maura's slender index finger. Her words died on the tip of her tongue.
And then she kissed her.
A gentle, soft kiss. Her lips tasted of honey and cherries and Jane suddenly fully understood what it meant to feel thousands of butterflies in her stomach. She understood the meaning behind adrenaline rushing through her veins, oxytocin seeping into her blood. She suddenly understood all those seemingly crazy scientific things Maura talked about and her eyes slowly fluttered shut as her hands found their way onto the brunette's back and pulled her closer.
When they parted they rested their foreheads against each other and when Jane eventually opened her eyes, afraid to find it had been just a dream, she found Maura looking back at her. The brunette smiled tenderly and Jane's hand slipped up to cup the younger woman's cheek. Maura's skin was soft against her fingers and she smiled. She had never dared to imagine, even dared to hope, it would be like this. Never before had she experienced this strange feeling of familiarity and comfort.
"Maura Isles, you are a unique individual" Jane smiled.
Maura blinked. "I know."
"And an honest one too" Jane added and she let a strand of Maura's hair run through her fingers. "You should get some rest, sweetie."
"Ok" Maura whispered and rose onto her tiptoes to kiss Jane on her forehead. She then moved away from her, slowly, and both instantly missed the warmth of the other woman's body. She cocked her head. "Are we Ok?"
"We're good" Jane replied and watched how Maura slowly made her way towards the bedroom. She smiled to herself and nodded. "Yeah, we're good."
~()~
Jane had ordered the Chinese take away and was waiting for the delivery man. She had checked on Maura ten minutes ago and had found her asleep on her side of the bed, curled up on her side and her hands hugging Jane's pillow. She had watched her for a little while; touched by how calm and relaxed Maura looked, before making her way back into the living room. She sat down, switched on the TV and watched the sports highlights on ESPN. She wasn't really paying attention but it was something to do. There was a strange familiarity to knowing that Maura was asleep in the other room, in her bed. Jane enjoyed the knowledge and it left her feeling safe and comforted in knowing she was all right. She answered three text messages of her mother and two of Frankie, reassuring them that Maura was fine and she would see them in the morning. Her mother offered to make breakfast. Jane declined.
About half an hour had gone by when her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table and interrupted the abysmal coverage of the latest Red Sox game. She reached over to answer it, half and half expecting to be Angela. When she noticed the caller ID flashed 'unknown' a frown appeared on her face and apprehensively she answered.
"Rizzoli"
"Detective" said a familiar voice on the other side and Jane's eyes immediately darted towards the bedroom in the hope that Maura wouldn't wake up. Her heart pounded in her chest. She did not bother asking him how he got her number. He had called her once before, several weeks ago. She had no doubt he kept her number because it would come in use one day. She just did not dare think about what use that would be.
"Doyle"
"There is a package for you waiting to be collected in South Boston" said Doyle and Jane could swear she could hear a vague hint of amusement in his voice. She wished she could trace his call, though she had no clear idea of what she would do if she could. His voice was deep and low. "You'll find it in an abandoned shipping warehouse just west of the Fish Pier…"
"You… what?" Jane asked and suddenly she felt wide awake and alert. She knew the location Doyle was referring to. She had dealt with a case there in the past. It seemed the docks and the pier was a preferred location for people to leave dead bodies. The harbour and dock area were well known for its mob connections and it wasn't a surprise to hear Doyle mentioned it now. "The Fish Pier?"
"You'll know where to look when you get there, detective" answered Doyle and Jane suddenly hated how he was so cryptic. She wished she could reach through the phone and throttle him. He had found Pike but seemed to find some sick amusement in the fact she was depending on him to tell her where he was. "And be fast, detective. If you get there early enough the package might still have some value…"
"Value? You mean… he's alive?" Jane leapt to her feet and scrambled around looking for her gun and badge. She clipped them onto her belt and grabbed her car keys from the kitchen counter. Her fingers clutched the phone so tightly that her knuckles had gone white and she felt a surge of adrenaline different from the kind she had experienced earlier.
"For now"
Jane nibbled on her bottom lip. Something seemed off. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because you asked me to, detective. You asked me to find the man who hurt my daughter. I did something Boston Police couldn't and we both know it. We are even now" answered Doyle and Jane wasn't sure whether she liked the thought of her and Paddy Doyle being even. Was there such a thing as being even with a career criminal? "You asked me to kill him, remember detective? I didn't."
"Why?" Jane breathed.
"Because you are not like me, Jane Rizzoli. We both know I never killed a man who didn't deserve it and this man deserves to die. However his blood doesn't deserve to be on your hands. There are some things you do not want to live with for the rest of your life."
"Don't tell me you have suddenly a conscience now, Doyle."
He had hung up.
Jane took a few seconds to compose herself and then slipped her phone in her pocket and made her way to the bedroom. She hesitated briefly outside the door and then her fingers closed around the door handle and she stepped inside. She sat down on the mattress and gently brushed a strand of hair out of Maura's face. The brunette's eyes fluttered open and she looked up to Jane.
"Hmmm? Jane?"
"I need to go" she whispered and leant in to kiss Maura's forehead. She smelled divine, Jane thought. And she looked so adorable, still half asleep. How had she never ever noticed any of these things before? How many more beautiful things were there still to discover? She kissed her cheek. "They've found Pike."
"What?" Maura's voice was weak and full of sleep. "Oh Jane…"
"Sssh" Jane shushed and smiled. "Save me some Chinese, OK?"
Maura's fingers closed around Jane's wrist as the dark haired detective stood up and Jane turned back. Maura looked up to her nervously. Jane felt encouraged by Maura's protectiveness. She wished she didn't have to leave her here but she knew that she was doing it for the right reasons. Maura's voice was still soft. "Be careful."
Jane smiled. "I will."
She left her apartment and reached for her phone again. She phoned Korsak and told him she had received an anonymous tip off about Pike's whereabouts and for him to meet her at the Fish Pier. Frost said he would make a short list of the abandoned warehouses and she heard Frankie in the back ground saying he would join in too and Jane felt a sense of confidence over the fact that everybody wanted to find Pike. But none of the three men wanted him as badly as Jane did. As she stepped in her car and slammed the door she felt powerful and strong. This was going to end.
Tonight.