Vanille: Recompense
Chilly morning air once again woke Vanille. It was a Saturday morning, so she reached down, lazily letting her hand search the ground for her blanket. After a few moments in the cold, she finally grasped the large bear skin blanket and pulled up and over herself. The redhead tried to let the warmth settle her back into sleep, but found it impossible. The same thoughts that plagued her the night before flooded into her mind.
Vanille had gone through the whole day unable to find Fang. She had stopped by the classroom at lunch, where all she found was Lightning. The girl had refused to speak to her or acknowledge her presence. It hurt, but the younger pulsian certainly understood.
Her friend didn't stop by while she was in cooking practice. In the end, she had spent the entire day searching the grounds for Fang. Vanille received no response when she knocked on the door to her room, but was unsure if no one was home or if no one inside wanted to speak to her.
Vanille knew that her friend liked the outdoors, so she left the building to search the gardens. The garden's lighting flickered on by the time she had finished her search there. Her best friend had told her about the beautiful sunset on the roof, so she decided to go try that. She did end up finding Fang there.
Vanille had only seen a brief glance; Fang was crying. The younger pulsian knew that she had hurt her best friend, and it tore her up inside. She tried to rationalize it to herself. The bullying was a small thing to put up with, she was really happy to be living in Cocoon. Comfortable living, lots of little luxuries, and a promising future where she could live a fulfilling, happy, and safe life.
But Vanille was well aware that Fang was unhappy. The elder pulsian was a huntress, born and bred. Fang was happy and fulfilled living in Gran Pulse. She had seen slight smiles, glimpses of brief happiness on the face of her friend. But nothing like the wide, bright ones she had seen in Gran Pulse. Nothing like the expression when she returned from a hunt on the nearby savanna, or sitting around the neighborhood fire once the sun had set.
There was no rationalization; Vanille knew that Fang was unhappy here. She also knew that it was selfish for her to cling so hard to Cocoon, and in the end she had hurt her friend.
She hated it, but it felt like her life had always been that way. Fang was always there for her, and Fang was always the one that sacrificed. Her best friend was willing to give her so much, for nothing in return.
Sometimes it hurt her; she desperately wanted to do something for Fang. Their bond was deep, and Vanille really did love her. They were sisters, and they had always been together. Vanille would do anything for Fang too, but had never been able to.
Fang seemed to have such a well put together life and never seemed to need any help. The only area of life that Fang lacked in was certainly love. So, Vanille at least tried to go and find guys for her. Of course, Vanille knew Fang never seemed interested in any of them; really, she never seemed into anyone.
Vanille smiled as she peeled the cover off of herself. It was time to try again, and with something drastically different.
Dull, gray morning light was drifting into the still room; the sun had yet to fully rise. Vanille glanced around and could tell that Serah was already out. Drawers were quickly opened and shut, followed by the closet. In a few brief seconds, the younger pulsian was dressed and out the door.
She walked down the long hall. Vanille had been in Cocoon awhile now, but she still admired the way buildings looked; all clean, sleek, and stylish. Eventually, she got to the front of the dormitory and started to knock on Lightning and Fang's room. There wasn't a response, so she put her ear near the door; she could hear Fang's usual snoring inside.
A sigh escaped from her lips; she was aware that she could never wake Fang up. She jiggled the knob but it was locked. The younger pulsian turned to leave, but the sound of soft footfalls from behind caused her to stop.
"Hold on. You wanted to talk to Fang right?" Lightning called out. "I'll get the door."
The pink-haired girl approached, wearing a thin white tank-top and workout shorts. The red scarf seemed a little out of place, but she had it on too. Vanille giggled lightly; mornings were a little cold, but not really enough to warrant the strange combination.
Vanille tilted her head and smiled widely. She reached out and grabbed Lightning's arms and tugged her out the nearby front door. The redhead happily skipped, dragging a scowling ice queen behind her. Once they were in an empty garden, she spun around to face the other girl.
Her initial reaction was to jump in surprise at the death glare she was receiving. She nervously smiled and skipped away, walking over to a nearby flower. Vanille bent over and took a deep whiff; one of the things she did miss was the smell of nature, but all it took was some flowers to make her feel better.
"So–,"
"No," Lightning quickly interrupted.
"I didn't say anything yet," the pulsian responded with a pout. Vanille continued to breathe in the scents of nature. She knew what she had seen the night before. When she turned, Lightning was still staring her down, with a curious expression. But it seemed like her eyes were a little bit south of proper. The girl's pale blue eyes suddenly shot up and met Vanille's.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice dripping with venom.
Vanille smiled and slowly walked towards Lightning, speaking a word with each step. "I saw it."
A pink eyebrow raised. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh please. You're into her aren't you?" she asked, stopping a meter from the other girl. She curiously tilted her head as Lightning's eyes again seemed to scan over her.
Lightning's eyes snapped up again, forming another death glare. Vanille felt like they pierced right into her soul, but she didn't back down.
"Fine, don't say anything. I saw it myself. That hand you gently placed on her cheek while you were trying to comfort her." Vanille giggled a little. "So heartwarming."
A sudden hand reached out and grabbed the neck of her shirt. Vanille was pulled forward a little, while Lightning closed the rest of the gap.
"You won't tell anyone, or even give it a second thought," Lightning snarled threateningly.
Vanille smiled at the lack of actual denial. "You're trying to be intimidating?" she asked slyly, placing her hands on her hips. "You wouldn't lay a finger on me. What would Fang think?"
The other girl turned her head and glared at the ground, roughly releasing Vanille's clothing. The redhead smiled a little wider.
"Why do you want it to be a secret anyway?"
Lightning glanced back at her. "This isn't Gran Pulse," was all that the other girl said.
Tilting her head, Vanille looked at her confused. "You're going to need to explain more than that."
"You should already be aware; we're not tolerant like you pulsians."
Vanille's expression became downcast as she let her gaze fall to the ground. She started to rub at her arm, just skirting her largest bruise.
"I–,"
"They've learned to hate things that are different. It's… tradition."
Vanille stayed quiet. She did like Cocoon; there were a lot of great things. But she did occasionally run into people who didn't like her for no good reason.
"So, it's a secret?" Lightning asked, looking for confirmation and confidentiality.
The red pigtails bobbed as Vanille nodded in agreement. But then she balled her hands into fists by her sides. "Fine. It's a secret," she said with a smile.
"Good–,"
Lightning was suddenly interrupted as Vanille reached out and grabbed both of her hands. Vanille happily lifted them so they were in the air between them.
"I'm going to help you anyway."
"What!?" Lightning quickly replied in shock.
"I'm going to try to set the two of you up!" the redhead cheerfully added. "I've tried all sorts of guys and it never worked."
Vanille noted the slight chuckle that Lightning quietly released. She ignored it and kept on speaking excitedly.
"You two could have a secret romance!" she exclaimed, bouncing up and down. "Late night meetings, quiet stolen glances, sneaking out to–,"
"We're roommates," Lightning quickly interrupted.
Vanille stopped. "Right. Well, no matter. It's time to try something new!"
Lightning glared at her. After a silent minute, she spun around, starting to march back to the dorms angry. "Remember, it's a secret!"
There was giggling behind her. "You didn't say not to try."
She received no response as Lightning continued to stomp into the building. Vanille followed behind her. "Um, could I talk to Fang?"
Lightning kept walking, but turned her head and looked back. She nodded lightly and continued to walk to her room. Vanille waited patiently while Lightning unlocked the door and let her in.
"I'm getting in the shower."
Vanille nodded. "I guess I'll just wait. I've never been able her to wake up."
She felt a twinge of curiosity as Lightning lightly smirked. "Too bad for you," Lightning said under her breath, walking into the bathroom. Vanille jumped a little when Lightning forcibly shut the door.
She glanced around her best friend's room. Vanille had never realized that almost all the little decorations and trinkets that had littered their former home were hers. Now, seeing Fang's private space, she realized that her friend must prefer spartan living conditions.
There was very little in the room; the walls were entirely bare. What Vanille surmised was Lightning's furniture was completely clear except for two picture frames. One was a recent photo of Serah, and the other was of two happy and smiling little pink-haired girls. The older one was draped over the younger, and both were smiling and laughing.
Vanille walked over to the other desk. It was covered with lose papers with some random things scrawled on them. Fang had a few pictures on the desk; some of large and particularly powerful monsters she had slain. The redhead smiled and lifted a photo of Fang with a wide smile, leaning against a huge behemoth.
She put it down and lifted another picture of the two of them, smiling in front of their little home. It was taken right after they had moved out of the orphanage. Her heart began to ache again. Fang had worked incredibly hard to get them the little house; Vanille felt like she hadn't earned it at all.
It was just another reminder that she was indebted to Fang. The elder pulsian certainly didn't seem to expect anything in return, but Vanille still felt the need to try.
She could just barely hear Lightning showering through the thick walls; she had found that life in the wilds had honed her senses to be a fair bit better than anyone in Cocoon. She was uncertain of whether this attempt would work. Vanille could certainly recognize that Lightning was a very attractive girl. She had met many of the girl's admirers; some male, and and few female.
Curiosity started to overtake her train of thought. She really wanted to know how Fang would react to it. Fang had shown no interest in guys; none whatsoever. Vanille had never tried a girl, but it seemed like Fang would have said something if she was gay. Gran Pulse was always accepting, so Vanille couldn't think of a single reason why Fang wouldn't have told her.
Now she started to worry about Lightning. Her crush– or whatever it was– seemed doomed to fail. But, Vanille decided she would just hope for the best. She sat beside her best friend and watched the girl sleep. It seemed like it was time to finally find out what Fang wanted.
The shower stopped and Lightning stepped out wearing a pink robe. "Still not up?" she asked, stepping towards her closet.
"Not even a little."
"Just… give it a second. Can you face the other direction?"
Vanille nodded and adjusted so she was facing the door. She heard Lightning's robe hit the ground; the snoring behind her suddenly stopped too.
"Fang?" she asked, starting to turn. From the corner of her eye she could see that Lightning was already mostly dressed. The elder pulsian wiped at her eyes and blinked a few times, before meeting Vanille's gaze.
"Hiya, Vanille," she responded quietly, quickly glancing away.
"Fang. I'm sorry. I… I should have said something to you."
There was a palpable silence, as Fang continued to stare out the window.
"Uh, I'm going to go talk to Serah. Or something," Lightning sputtered out awkwardly, quickly leaving the room.
Fang didn't speak until the door shut. "You should have, but it's okay. It's not your fault at all."
Biting her lip, Vanille shook her head. "Fang! I know it hurt you. I– I've seen you get so mad before. Why do you never get mad at me? This was my fault."
"It's not your fault. I just can't get mad at you, and I'll always forgive you," Fang responded quietly, flopping back onto the bed.
"… and Lightning?"
"I forgave her too."
Vanille nodded, quickly remembering the tears she had seen on her normally stoic friend. Fang had always been her rock in rough waters. She could always rely on Fang; the girl was always strong and tough. She had never seen her best friend that vulnerable. But Lightning had. Vanille quickly figured to herself that the silent ice queen might actually have a decent shot. With a slight smile, the redhead nodded and changed the subject.
"Fang, I was wondering. What kind of– person– would you be attracted too?"
Fang suddenly sat up. "Why? You're not going to try and set me up with someone again are you?"
"I was thinking about it."
The dark-haired girl dropped back once again. "That last one was awful. Gadot? Really?"
"Well, you never tell me what you're looking for, and just like this, you always change the subject when I ask. So, what are you looking for?"
"Nothing."
Vanille playfully glared at her.
"Not."
One poke to Fang's cheek.
"An."
A second.
"Answer."
A third.
Fang grimaced. "Come on Vanille, if I meet someone I like, I'll go out with them. Can't we just leave it at that?"
The redhead shook her head. "So, muscles are out. So are hunters, tough guys, sensitive guys, quiet guys, and… older gentleman."
There was a clearly visible shiver at the end of the list. "Why did you even think that was what I wanted?"
"Well, I'm just taking shots in the dark. Just tell me!"
There was a long moment of hesitation before Fang started to speak. Her voice was cautious and slow; Vanille knew that she was carefully filtering her words.
"I do want– someone– sensitive, and caring. Um, cute. Not tall. Fem–," she started, but quickly stopped. "Not macho, but still a little tough. I guess a pretty, gentle smile would be nice; and they have to react well to my playful teasing. You know I can't help but do it."
Vanille nodded, taking in the information. She rubbed at her chin and smiled gently. The Lightning she knew certainly didn't seem that way, but maybe the one Fang got to see was. If she hadn't seen it, Vanille would never imagined Lightning being comforting and sensitive. Vanille had also spent enough time with Lightning and Serah to know that the girl did have a gentle smile.
She blinked a few times, still contemplating what she had heard. A pretty smile? That didn't seem like a gender neutral description– it sounded almost entirely feminine. She smiled as another realization flooded over her. Fang had almost actually said feminine.
"I think this one might work out."
Fang blinked a few times and turned to her. "It's not Hope right?" she joked.
The younger pulsian smiled and flicked Fang in the forehead. "No, he's mine. It's a secret."
"What? Haven't we had enough secrets?" Fang asked with a sly smirk.
"Not going to work. It's a real secret."
"Tch. Well, you're always really transparent. I'll know sooner or later."
Vanille laughed. "Maybe. Maybe not. This– person– is going to be pretty different. I'm going to have to change things up."
The other girl was frozen for a moment. Eventually, she turned to face the other girl. "Person?"
"Hmm?"
"Nothing," Fang quickly responded, glancing away. Vanille stayed silent for a few moments.
"Well– I have breakfast plans with Hope. I'll see you later," she quickly said, "and Fang?"
"Yeah?"
"I really am sorry."
"I know." Fang opened her arms, and Vanille quickly went in for a hug. "Go have fun."
Vanille nodded, then skipped out of the room, happy. Things were getting interesting; she hoped her friend would end up with a brand new love interest. As she passed through the room's threshold she was startled when the door shut; Lightning was standing behind it. Vanille smiled at her and grabbed her hands again.
"You heard that right?"
Lightning glared down at their hands. Vanille quickly let go. "I heard it," Lightning responded, glancing downward and looking a little downcast. The redhead knew Lightning thought it didn't describe her.
"Don't think that, and…" Vanille leaned in, whispering into Lightning's ear because she knew Fang would be able to hear them, "… I think she might actually like girls."
The pink-haired girl laughed a little louder. "Yeah. She might."
"Right. So, hang in there." She leaned in again. "Take her out this afternoon. She's still hurting; I think it'd be good for you to go somewhere. As an apology."
At first, the only response was a stern glare. But, after a few silent moments, Lightning nodded.
"Good. It's nice talking to you. We should do it more often."
The silent girl shook her head.
"Oh, come on. You might end up dating Fang," she whispered, "so let's be friends."
Lightning glanced away.
"Ciao," Vanille quickly added, skipping away.
"Vanille," Lightning called out, "she's only going to be suspended for a week."
The redhead stopped temporarily. "Good. You've got lots of time," she commented, starting to skip away again. She didn't turn back to see Lightning's angry scowl.