Chapter 11 – SUNDAY early afternoon
With Caleb driving the jeep back to Rosewood, Hanna used her free time in the car doing research, reading fashion blogs, and ordering fabrics online.
Every once in a while, she looked at Caleb who had been silent during the ride for most of the time, which was now fueling her doubts.
They had packed their stuff quickly as soon as they had arrived back in their suite and said goodbye to Mitch and Maddie, thanking them for the invitation and free accommodation. Caleb and Mitch had exchanged business cards and agreed to keep in touch. The older man had patted him on the back, giving him advice never to let go of a woman as special as Hanna ever again.
Ever since that moment, Caleb had been seemingly lost in thought, concentrating on the traffic and occasionally checking out what Hanna was doing in the passenger seat, an iPad and her phone propped up in her lap, wildly taking turns tapping on both devices in a high-spirited disposition.
However, his silence was starting to irritate her. "Is everything okay? You've been awfully quiet in the past hour," she approached him.
Caleb looked at her for a second before turning his gaze back to the street laying ahead. "Yeah. It's fine. It's just that… that I've been thinking for a while."
"About what?" she frowned at him. "Do you already regret your decision?"
"No!" He retorted strongly. Then he took her hand and brought it up to his lips, planting a small kiss on it. "I've just been thinking about where we would be now had I never left you."
He tried to smile at her but it came out rather awkward. He let go of her hand and put his own back on the steering wheel.
Hanna didn't know what to say. She looked at his face trying to read his mind.
"The only regret I'll ever have to live with is missing out on three wonderful years with you."
"We'll have so many more," she reasoned, putting her hand on his hand clutching the steering wheel. She squeezed it lightly to lend weight to her proposition.
„I know, you're right," he murmured. „It just makes me sentimental from time to time… that there have been so many things we weren't able to do in those years. Like traveling through Europe together."
"We can always go on another vacation. There are definitely some places left that I haven't visited yet, like…" She thought for a moment. "Hmm… Venice. Have you been to Venice?"
"Venice, California?" He teased her, knowing fairly well that that wasn't what she meant, but he longed to have a light-hearted conversation for a change.
Hanna rolled her eyes, "Venice, Italy, you doofus. Or how about St. Petersburg? I heard they have those beautiful white nights in the summer."
"Florida? I don't know." He couldn't help himself.
"Caleeeeeb!" She yelled exasperatedly.
"What?" Came his sheepish response.
Hanna looked out the window, picturing herself strolling through ancient historic sites hand in hand with Caleb and just trying to lead a normal couple's life again without A.D.
A certain image seemed to be projected onto the landscape racing past her, she kept daydreaming because it was so enjoyable… her wearing one of the summer dresses she was about to design for her own label… him being the well-informed tourist explaining everything to her just like he had done in all of their past vacation travels before, like in Thailand or Australia… them making love in sweaty hotel beds… holding hands… eating out in restaurants every day, trying new food.
"Have you been to Athens already?" came her bubbling question all of a sudden. There were so many places she wanted to discover with him. "I've read a bit about the really ancient sights there."
"Athens, Georgia? If you call two-hundred years ancient..." He chuckled, but then saw the annoyed look on her face and concluded, "And I'm gonna stop talking now."
"You know you can be real pain in the-"
He laughed out loud. At that, she remembered the last time they argued about each other's personal quirks, which had led to their reconciliation in the end.
"-neck," she finished her sentence.
"Oh, that's not what you called me last time. I must be doing better now," he tried to take her for a ride.
"If I remember correctly, you were the one listing off all the things you find annoying about me. So, tell me what was it about me again that makes you love me..." She still felt slightly annoyed that he seemed to avoid the topic of another European vacation for just the two of them.
"Hanna, these are just the little things I learned about you. They don't make me love you more or less, they're what makes you... you! Believe it or not, I do not only love you in spite of them but because of them. These little perks define who you are and as that you're perfect in my eyes. Of course, it doesn't hurt that you are freaking hot, too," he winked at her.
Again, she consciously rolled her eyes. But then she accepted the compliment and smiled at him.
"I promise I'll try to gas up our car sooner from now on, though," she assured him in a mocking way, taking his hand into hers again. They fell silent and returned to their original activities with Caleb driving and Hanna doodling things down on her phone.
Just a split-second later, a familiar beeping sound filled the car cabin.
Caleb pulled over to the next breakdown lane. "Sorry, I totally lost track of things here," he tried to explain, but his attempt was lost on Hanna as she just burst out laughing and it wasn't long before he also started to crack up about forgetting to gas up the car any time sooner.
XXXXX
The rest of the drive went by in a blur. They had stopped at the nearest gas station, sharing a greasy helping of French Fries while sitting on a bench in the sun.
After their little lunch break, Hanna had taken over the steering wheel and had thus gained control over the radio while Caleb soon dozed off from the emotional exertions this rollercoaster of a weekend getaway had brought about. The girly music sounding from the radio station that Hanna had picked out didn't help to keep him awake.
After they had arrived at their apartment building early in the afternoon and quickly unloaded their suitcases and bags, they carried their stuff up the stairs and dropped everything as soon as they had set foot in their living room, neither of them minding the mess when there were more important things to look into.
Caleb plunked down on the couch and put his keys on the table before him. Then he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, while Hanna purposefully strode through the living room, picking up all things needed to transform her fashion ideas into actual fashion designs on paper.
She put everything on the floor by the window and went to change into her comfy clothes, leaving Caleb behind who was watching her silently from the couch while checking his phone messages.
Once again, he admired her drive to pull through with whatever plan was maturing in the back of her mind.
"So, what are you gonna do for the rest of the day?" Hanna called through the half open bedroom door.
Caleb got off the couch and joined her in there. "I think I'm gonna visit Toby at the hospital and see how he's doing."
"Oh, well that's a good idea. Tell him I said hi, okay?" Hanna smiled at him while she wove her head through the narrow opening of a fuzzy pink sweater. She shrieked when she noticed he was standing right in front of her without having seen him come closer.
She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you," she said in a high-pitched voice.
He scoffed. "No, you won't," he said laughing. "You won't even know I'm not there."
"Will you be back in time for dinner?" She asked, her hands playing with the hair above his neck.
"Why? Are you cooking?" He teased her. "You'd have to buy a new set of dishes first or actually clean the ones we already have."
Her fist came punching him hard on his chest. "Ouch," he exclaimed and patted his hand over the spot she had hit him on.
"Well, we both live here now. Why don't you clean them for me?" She smiled at him seductively.
He hesitated for a moment until deciding to postpone that conversation to another point in time.
"All right, pizza's on me tonight," Caleb said and loosened his grip on her. "Have fun."
Cupping her face with both of his hands, he kissed her one more time before leaving Hanna alone with her coloring pencils and sketchbook.
XXXXX
For the next couple of hours, Hanna awkwardly sat on the floor, her sketchbook lying open in front of her, filling itself with an array of colors and descriptions, sketches and fabric suggestions.
When the evening dawned, she got up to stretch her legs and put on the fireplace to have more light so she could continue drawing.
Caleb had sent her a text a while back asking which kind of pizza she wanted, but other than that she had been working uninterrupted for some hours. Now, her back was starting to ache badly.
Studying the pages she had already filled in her sketchbook, Hanna leant back against the settee by the window, stretching out and massaging her neck with her right hand.
Caleb had been gone for a long time already and she was beginning to question his whereabouts.
At that moment, he finally opened the door, carrying two pizza cartons and a small paper bag in his hands. The smell of peperoni pizza filled the air, causing Hanna to get up from the floor. Caleb quickly stuffed the paper bag that had been under his car seat for the last day and a half into the inside pocket of his jacket while Hanna was still busy cleaning up the mess around her.
Before long, she was done. She walked over to him and greeted him with a small kiss on the lips before grabbing the pizzas so he could take off his jacket. Then she walked back to her spot on the rug by the fire.
Caleb kicked off his shoes and went to the bedroom to store his jacket away in his closet. He took the bag out and hid it on the bottom of his sock drawer.
In the living room, Hanna shoved her utensils aside and put the boxes on the floor. Sitting back down again, she opened the lids and inhaled the delicious scent of her favorite food. "Thanks, you're really saving me here, I was starving," she said to him when he was back in the kitchen standing by the counter, opening all the drawers in search of a particular item. "Where have you been that long?"
When he had finally found the corkscrew, Caleb opened a bottle of red wine for them. He took the remaining two clean wine glasses from the cabinet before joining her on the rug and sitting down opposite from her. Then he finally answered her question, "I had to run some errands. Nothing major, though."
They each ate their pizza and spent some time talking about Toby and Yvonne. Caleb told Hanna about their medical conditions and how things weren't looking good for Toby's fiancée.
Then he remembered the wine and filled their glasses. He handed her one and held his out for her to clink glasses with him.
"Here's to us," he spoke lovingly, looking her in the eyes.
"To us," she repeated hoarsely. The sound of their clinking glasses filled the silence. Hanna and Caleb took a sip of wine and then set their beverages aside again.
"So, how did it go here? Did you have the chance to bring everything to paper that was bubbling up in that creative brain of yours?"
"Yeah, actually it went really well. I definitely have something to show Lucas for when he goes to meet with potential investors," she told him.
"I'm glad," he said, taking a last bite of his pizza before closing the lid on the empty box and putting it on the settee behind her back. "You look very relaxed right now."
"Ugh, my back is killing me. I've been sitting like this for hours and my neck is so sore." Again, her hands moved to the back of her head and she tried to apply pressure to her aching muscles.
"Well, let me do something about that," he said, removing her arm from its massaging position, thereby almost knocking over his half full wine glass. "But why don't we take this over to the bedroom? It might be more convenient there."
Caleb reached for the remote lying on the other end of the rug and turned off the fireplace. He emptied his glass and got up to put it on the table in the alcove. Then he watched her do the same before crossing the living room and walking into their bedroom together.
"Okay, babe. Give me five minutes and let me take a super quick shower first. Why don't you make yourself comfortable?"
Hanna busied herself straightening the sheets on their bed. Afterwards, she picked up a range of clothes strewn all over the floor and put them into a laundry basket before lastly adding her fuzzy pink sweater and her baggy gray sweatpants.
Then she dimmed the lights and lay down in the middle of their bed, waiting for Caleb to reappear.
She didn't have to wait long, just as he had promised.
When he returned from the shower, he saw that Hanna was already expecting him, wearing a bra and panties only. He quickly dried himself off, then threw the towel in the direction of the bathroom door causing Hanna to roll her eyes about her futile attempts at keeping their apartment tidy.
However, there were other things to acknowledge in his favor.
Like that he did not even think about putting on any clothes right this second, but instead came crawling onto the bed naked.
Hanna watched his smooth moves. Tiny droplets of water were scattered on parts of his body where his towel accidentally forgot to go. Caleb's wet hair was glistening in the glow of the dimmed lightbulb.
And he smelled sooo good. Hanna closed her eyes in anticipation of the touch of his skin on hers. She couldn't wait for him to come closer. But then he stopped and came to a kneeling position right next to her butt.
Opening her eyes, she saw Caleb motion with his head and felt his hands take hold of her hips, and she understood his meaning. Hanna rolled onto her stomach, reaching out for a pillow to place under her head. She settled her weight into the mattress, sensing the cool, soft pillow against her cheek. A welcome change after sitting next to a blazing fire for some time.
Caleb's hands began an exploration of her back, starting at the edge of her underwear. Hanna felt his firm palm slide against her lower back as his thumb ran just below the lacy outline. Next, his hands moved in tandem, slightly north, and his thumbs rubbed soft circles into the small of her back. His hands spread wide, and his long fingers grazed her sides as his thumbs passed smoothly over her spine.
When his thumbs ran against the back band of her bra, she felt the mattress register his shifting weight, then felt him press a firm kiss between her shoulder blades. Kisses travelled around her shoulders and the back of her neck as his palms rubbed over the band. His weight shifted again as he retreated slightly and brought his fingers together at the clasp.
She heard him draw in his breath and hold it for a moment, then felt the tug as he unclasped her bra. He expelled the breath in a reverent sigh as his fingers pushed the two halves of fabric outward to the mattress.
For a moment, his hands left her body, and Hanna turned around to see where they had gone. She saw him reach for a tube of panthenol lotion that he had picked up in the bathroom and laid out ready on the night table, and after putting a dab of it onto his fingers, he started spreading the soothing ointment carefully on the slowly fading wounds on her back, trying hard not to hurt her by keeping his touch as light as possible.
He let the soft tips of his fingers linger on a particularly large scar, gently stroking over the length of it as if to wipe it away.
She laid her head back down on the pillow and smiled at his pleasurable ministrations, reeling at the fact that he was always taking care of her well-being.
After all of her wounds had been tended to, he put the lotion aside. Then he got up and crossed the bedroom all the way to where his jacket had been tossed to the floor before. He reached inside one of the pockets and pulled out a small bottle. The content of which seemed indefinable from her vantage point, so she frowned at him when he came back to the bed.
Without an explanation, Caleb returned to his position straddling her thighs. Then he opened the bottle and let a few drops of massage oil fall into his palm.
Realizing his intentions, Hanna's facial features relaxed and she settled back down on the mattress.
The soft scent of lavender now filled the room, and Caleb rubbed his palms against one another to spread the moisture, thereby also warming up his hands to give her an even more enjoyable back massage.
He pressed his thumbs on the tense muscles on both sides of her spinal column, starting at her lower back. Applying a firm pressure, he let them slowly wander upwards. Hanna instantly felt her aching muscles relax.
Caleb's hands danced all over her back for several minutes, kneading the flesh, repeatedly rolling her skin between his fingers to try and unstiffen her fasciae.
A breathy moan passed from Hanna's lips as Caleb's hands reached her upper back and massaged her there, before skillfully continuing with her shoulders, and the muscles in her neck.
The moan turned guttural as Caleb pressed his chest against her and began to move down her spine, alternating licks and kisses along the way. His hands returned to her hips, grasping them securely, as his mouth reached the crook of her neck.
"I love you," she heard him say before he lightly kissed her flesh, a deep, rumbling timbre that sunk into her skin.
His head moved to the small of her back, showering little kisses along the way downward. A rough, hard tongue licked her, tingling the base of her spine in ecstasy. Molten hot, wet heat pooled in her depths as harder kisses pressed into the spot, over and over again. Her back arched away from his lips, too enthralled by the experience.
Caleb slipped his right hand around Hanna's waist and used his arm to guide her torso back towards him. As he did so, his arm lifted higher, pulling her body upright onto her knees as his tongue ran a firm lick up her spine.
Hanna moved her head to the side and for a split-second, their darkened eyes met. "I love you, too," she whispered back.
Caleb dipped his index finger into her cleavage, gripping the center of her bra between the first two knuckles, and slowly pulled it away from her chest, off her arms.
Hanna shivered slightly as the cool air of the room passed over her nipples. She reached her hands out and found the back of Caleb's hands, intertwining her fingers over his. Then she moved his hands up her body, over her breasts.
She moaned in bliss as she pressed her back into Caleb's chest and released his hands, allowing him to explore her on his own terms. She swiveled her hips backwards and ground her butt cheeks against his rigid penis.
She heard him whimper. The sound enthralled Hanna and compelled her to turn around to face him. She began to twist her body, and Caleb helped by taking a step back on his knees to give her enough room. She turned, sat down on the mattress, and stretched her legs to the outside of Caleb's body.
Caleb remained upright on his knees, his erection nearly at her eye level, and her tongue automatically darted across her lips. He pressed his palms under Hanna' thighs and pushed her legs into the air. His fingers ran under her buttocks and pulled at the edge of her panties, sliding the fabric towards him.
He pushed the panties up off Hanna' legs, letting his hands run firmly over her skin.
Tossing the black lace aside, Caleb lowered Hanna's legs down. Then he crawled towards her, causing Hanna to sink back onto the bed.
Hanna looked into his eyes as Caleb approached her and she found raw, carnal, fervent desire. He bent forward, cupping her breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over her hard peaks. He squeezed them in a sensual massage, earning a heated moan in return.
Next, he replaced his hands with his lips, his tongue, his mouth, treating her breasts to a torrent of rapturous sensations.
Her racing heartbeat slowed slightly when he released her breasts and began gently kissing his way down her torso. But as his mouth approached the top of her thigh, anticipation built and her heartbeat quickened.
Caleb used his hands to press outward on her thighs and settled onto his stomach. His head twisted left and he nuzzled her inner thigh, nipping at her skin with his teeth, then soothing the flesh with a lick of his tongue. He worked his way up to the juncture between her thigh and pelvis before brushing his wet hair across her as he moved his face to her other leg, the sudden change of textures and temperatures almost driving her insane.
More nipping, more licking, more sparks of delight burning their way to her core.
Then she felt him grasp her thighs and push her legs further apart. His thumbs were placed an inch away from her entrance. When he held her still, she dared to look down at him.
Caleb was staring at her. The look in his eyes was too intense and Hanna shut her eyes, rolling her head backwards. But another motionless moment passed and she raised her head to look down at him once more.
This time, his eyes brightened and he smiled. His eyes quickly shifted towards the juncture of her thighs, and then he looked back up at her. The smile turned wicked. Gazes locked, he slowly licked his solid tongue across her sex.
The titillation was too much to bear; Hanna squeezed her eyes shut and moaned deeply. She ground herself into the bed, grasping at the mattress with her hands, steeling herself against the waves of Caleb's stimulation. His tongue was so wet, so hard, so hot.
So close… so close…
But suddenly, his mouth pulled away from her. A grunt of frustration escaped her lips and her hands automatically went to the back of his head, putting gentle pressure on him to return.
Caleb blew a cool breath of air over her clit and whispered, "Want something?"
The tease in his voice caused Hanna to snap. Passionate fire lashed out of her as she slapped the side of his arm, and then shoved him away.
Catching Caleb by surprise, Hanna quickly followed him up, and then she flipped him onto his back. She grabbed his wrists and thrust them over his head, pressing them firmly into the mattress. She pressed the length of her body against him and kissed his mouth hard. Her tongue demanded entrance as she took control.
Caleb moaned in rapture. No more teasing.
Hanna softened the kiss, softened the pressure on his wrists, softened the press of her body, and focused on deepening her emotional connection.
Warmth radiated through her body as she felt the connection magnify. She broke the kiss and hovered a breath away from his face, looking into Caleb's eyes as she drew up her hips, positioning his hard length just outside her entrance.
A thousand words were silently exchanged between them in the second their gaze was locked. Three small words weren't necessary. They were right there, written in their eyes.
Hanna slowly lowered herself onto Caleb.
They each gasped in the same breath.
Hanna slowly pulled back, and then lowered herself again.
They each closed their eyes in the same breath.
Hanna moved her hands off Caleb's wrists, propping herself up by placing her palms against the mattress around his head.
Caleb's hands moved to her hips, which rose and fell with her in a timeless motion.
They each moaned in the same breath.
All of a sudden, he lifted his head and captured Hanna's right breast in his mouth. He sucked hard, and then teased her nipple with his tongue.
She arched her back and pressed her chest closer to him.
Caleb's right hand moved from Hanna's hip and roamed over her butt cheek before softly grasping it.
Then he shifted his attention to Hanna's left breast and slid his left hand around her body to the small of her back, pressing down possessively with every thrust upward.
Few seconds later, they each forgot to breathe as a higher form of power took control of their bodies in unison.
Nothing else in the world existed beyond their merged bodies pulsing against each other like a strong heartbeat. Every nerve ending was triggered, every sense engaged, every sensation magnified by the intensity of the emotion behind it.
Hanna collapsed onto Caleb's chest and she lay still, unwilling to slip away from him. She felt his right hand move away from her body and up into her hair, lightly massaging the back of her neck again.
He moved his head to the crook of her neck, the spot on her body he had claimed for himself through a thousand kisses over the years and back again. Caleb pressed his lips onto her skin, suckling lightly, steadying himself with a firm grip from his hand behind her head as if it intended to stay. He could have that spot forever.
A measure of control returned to Hanna and she slowly lifted herself from Caleb, sliding off his body. She turned onto her side and embraced him in a half-hug: her head lay on his bicep, her arm wrapped around his chest, and her leg cast along his.
She felt his right hand move on top of her arm as if to hold her in place, keep the physical connection between them. She snuck a look at his face and saw that his eyes were closed. She wasn't sure she had ever seen his face look so peaceful, so relaxed.
She smiled and closed her eyes, snuggling deeper into the crook of his arm.
A minute passed before Hanna felt Caleb's head move, and she opened her eyes to look into his. They were still dilated, delicious hazelnut brown pools of desire, though the edge of desperation had disappeared from them.
His lips held a sated smile, as if his body lacked the energy to pull back the corners of his mouth towards his cheeks.
Hanna guessed that he would see that exact same look on her face right now… the look of utter tranquility. She wished she could preserve this feeling forever.
But then again, this was Rosewood. And the next day was looming just around the corner.
Maybe going away wasn't such a bad idea after all? Would they ever have the chance at getting a normal life in this town?
She was sure about one thing. Caleb would always be there for her, taking care of her and being her rock in the stormy sea. With him by her side, she would always feel safe… and sane.
Lost in thoughts, Hanna failed to notice that Caleb had drifted off to sleep. His arm that had been holding a steady grip on her back had gone slack, and his breath came even and regular.
Hanna disentangled herself from their embrace and made a beeline for the bathroom. After she had gotten ready for the night and put on a shirt and sleeping shorts, she stepped into the doorframe and looked at his sleeping shape. Then her eyes suddenly fell on the flowers in the vase on her bedside table and then to the small card attached to it.
The flowers were starting to wither and soon she would have to throw them away, which made her sad but she figured there would always be new flowers as Caleb had been the most thoughtful boyfriend in all those years they had been together before. But then her gaze fell on the card, the words on both sides of it still causing her heart to skip a beat. The card was unique. It was the first of such ever since they had gotten back together.
Suddenly, Hanna had an epiphany. She quietly crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Then she carefully removed the card from its slim plastic ribbon tying it to the stems. She looked at both sides lovingly again, holding the small piece of cardboard in her hand like a precious gemstone.
Well, that's what it was to her, anyway.
You can always count on me. The gesture wasn't lost on her and it still amazed her. He gave her the promise of a new start to their relationship. The promise to try better next time.
This time. Forever and always.
She got up again and turned around to look at Caleb again. He hadn't stirred in the past minutes. She tiptoed to her side of the wall-to-wall closet and slid the door open.
Again, she looked over her shoulder to see if he was showing any signs of waking. With one hand holding on to her treasure, she knelt down on the carpet and let her free hand roam through the chaos underneath the clothing rail. Countless shoe boxes had been stacked one over the other, plastic bags had been stuffed into the cracks between boxes, not giving away anything about their contents.
But Hanna knew exactly what to feel for. In the second row at the bottom of the closet, right behind the box protecting her beloved cream-colored Valentino Garavani sling back heels she found what she had been looking for.
She put the card down on the floor.
One by one, she picked up the boxes that had been placed on top of the desired one and put them on a pile next to where she was sitting. She tried hard to avoid any noise as she didn't want to wake Caleb, at the same time thinking it wouldn't be that bad at all if he did. After all, she didn't want to keep any more secrets from him.
But this was a moment she wanted to have for herself.
Upon reaching the last box of the stack, she picked it up by its edges and carefully maneuvered it from its hidden place to the brightness of her bedroom.
Hanna sat down cross-legged and put the box in her lap. Her fingers softly touched the lid, welcoming its sight back into her life after three long years.
She had almost forgotten it had been there, hardly remembering it had been one of the few personal items she had brought to her new home after ending her engagement with Jordan because there was so much going on in her life then.
Looking at the inconspicuous cardboard box with its fringed edges, memories came flooding back through Hanna's mind. All the sudden, she felt overwhelmed with happiness.
The feeling of gratefulness had brought about silent tears, pooling in the corners of her eyes. Grateful for having had the presence of mind not to throw away everything from her Rosewood past when she had moved in with Jordan.
In her lap sat her Caleb memory box.
Everything from their four-year relationship was in there, all the memories, all the mementos, starting with the nondescript piece of Ella Montgomery's car that had been the very beginning of it all.
Hanna smiled at the fact that she had never returned it to Ella, not even when the threats from A. had ceased. Caleb had kept it for her in a rare moment of nostalgia and eventually had given the small piece of metal to her on their first one-one-zero-five anniversary.
Opening the lid caused her face to brighten up. She had not set her eyes on the contents for so long. At some point in her past, she hadn't been able to handle it any more emotionally so she had shoved the box to the back of her closet before putting it into storage altogether in New York.
Her hands roamed through the contents, shoving aside various movie theater ticket stubs from their carefree time of living together in the big city to the personal invitation that Caleb had designed for her twenty-first birthday party shortly before their breakup. That particular memory, at least the stuff she could remember from the time before she had gotten plastered that night, still held a special place in her heart. It had been the first time they'd had a serious conversation about wanting to have children together. They had agreed that it had been too early for them to get started then but at least they had both been assured they were headed in the same direction, relationship-wise.
She laid the piece of paper aside. Underneath a bunch of paper mementos she found another special item dear to her heart: a piece of charcoal, neatly preserved in a small translucent wrapper. She remembered picking it up from the campfire they had set up on the day of their first time in the tent. In the meantime, it had shed some miniscule pieces of cinder within the wrapper and she wasn't sure if it would dissolve in the next years to come, but Hanna would not throw it away if her life depended on it. That memory was for keeps and had to be preserved for some undisclosed time in the future when her mind might not be able to trace back to the event itself anymore. She hoped she would still keep the memory alive by looking at a tiny piece of wood.
A rather big item caught her glimpse. Her hands reached for the soft woolen beanie hat Caleb had often worn until the time he had had his fairly long hair cut shorter. He had wanted to give it to goodwill along with a bunch of other clothes but Hanna had snatched it right out of the bag meant for donation again when he hadn't been looking. It had sat hidden in her box ever since.
She gently stroked over the material one more time, smiling at the image in her head from their first months together. Caleb had been her first true love, the first boy she had ever really trusted. And he had done it without impressing her with money or status. At the thought she had to wipe away yet another tear welling up in one of her eyes.
She placed the beanie to the other items on the carpet. Its removal gave way to an item that almost took the breath out of her lungs. There it was, a dreaded memory but one she wouldn't want to let go of for the longest time until eventually the course of time had made her forget about it.
At the bottom of the box lay Caleb's old phone. The one he had left behind in New York after ending their relationship and storming out to travel through Europe alone.
For what felt like an eternity, she held the plastic bar in her hands, turning it over again and again. The display had gone black in the days following his rushed departure due to an empty battery. Hanna hadn't had the heart to recharge it since then, afraid of having to hear his trusted ring tone ever again.
She wiped some dust off the edges of the display. Funny how minds sometimes work, she thought. She could still remember part of his phone number. It had been etched on her memory for years because she had had to switch phones so often in her life, the beloved array of figures belonging to him like his social security number having always been the first she would type to add a contact whenever she got a new phone.
Lost in thought, Hanna sat on the floor and closed her eyes, considering to get rid of the phone now as it had long been replaced by a new model and a new number.
She didn't notice the pitter-patter of naked feet moving from the bed to where she was sitting.
All the sudden, a hand was placed on her shoulder. "Hey, what are you doing, babe?" came Caleb's sleepy voice from behind her.
Hanna jerked and accidentally dropped the phone to the floor, too shocked to shriek or yell anything. Caleb picked it up and sat down beside her. When he saw a range of familiar things both inside the box and strewn around Hanna's cross-legged shape, he realized it without having to wait for her answer.
"You kept my phone?" He asked in disbelief. "Through all these years?"
"Yeah," came her terse response. Feelings of embarrassment and pride started to mingle in her head. "I had wanted to throw it away right after you had left it behind, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go of this connection to you at first. But then I remember your mom had called several times asking about our trip to Prague and so I tossed it in a box." She spoke in a quiet voice, the memory of this period in their past still so vivid in her mind, it scared her. "It shut itself off two days later when the battery died."
Only just know she turned her head to look at him. "That was the last time I ever looked at it."
Her words caused him to raise an eyebrow and his eyes drifted down to the phone in his hands.
She had never gotten it.
He exhaled sharply and gulped.
She never got his message.
The realization hit him hard. He had wanted to address this issue a while back when they had been talking about their breakup which had led to them kissing in the cabin at the Lost Woods Resort. But he remembered they didn't get to talking any more as they had been interrupted by Ezra and Aria, reentering the room.
Wordlessly, Caleb turned the phone upside down. Then he got up and left the bedroom. When he came back he was holding a charger in his hand. He connected the charger to the phone and waited a few seconds.
Hanna watched him silently, a questioning look in her eyes every now and then.
The next moment, Caleb turned on his phone and thus brought the display back to life.
And there they were.
A picture of Hanna and Caleb smiling together at the camera graced the background of his phone display.
"Hanna?" Caleb started.
"Yes?" She replied, anxious to see what was happening now.
"There's something that you don't know, too." He hesitated, waiting for the overwhelming feeling to cry right now to pass.
"I had always assumed that you did know and that you just acted the way that you did because of the way I ran out on you."
When she looked even more puzzled, he hurried to wipe his way through his phone apps, eventually calling up his voice-mails. He searched for the message in question, then pressed the button to activate the speaker so they both could listen… and was almost surprised to hear it was still there after all these years.
His voice came in loud and clear… yet he knew that it had come from more than 4,000 miles away that day.
Hanna sat listening. Not understanding what was going on.
"Hanna? Are you there? I am so sorry. Do you hear me? I miss you so much and I wanna see you so badly right now. I'm still in Prague and I was wondering if we could meet up in Budapest. Please, think about it. I love you. I love you so much. Will you please come to Budapest? I don't wanna go on this trip all by myself, I need you here with me. Please. I'm so sorry I ran out like that, believe me. Please, call me, I give you the number of the hotel I'm staying at. It's zero zero four two zero two two six two two two six zero zero. Call me and we can work it out. I know I fucked this up. Please, forgive me. Please. I wa-"
At that, the message ended abruptly and a sudden beep filled the room.
They both remained silent. Caleb's mind went back to the day he had placed that message. How he had been sitting at the bar in his hotel in Prague, waiting for a phone call that never came. At one point, the bar tender had sent him to his room, unwilling to sell Caleb any more alcohol. He remembered lying on his bed in his clothes for the next twenty-four hours, always ready to leave.
After that, his mind had come to the conclusion that Hanna simply couldn't forgive him and that any further waiting on his side was futile.
Hence he had continued his travels without her and had never dared mentioning his emotional outbreak again, concluding Hanna had been right about shutting him out for good. After all, he had been the one turning his back on her.
He studied Hanna's face, trying to read her reaction.
Her mind was reeling from the sudden turn of events. He had been begging for her to come to Europe, and all the while, she had had no idea.
Their gazes met, each of them at a loss for words, still grasping the new situation.
When what seemed like an eternity had passed, Hanna took the phone from his hand and turned it off again. She tossed it back in the box along with the rest of the stuff she had taken out. Lastly, her hand found the little note, and she gently placed it on top of everything inside the box. Then she carefully slid the lid back over it and placed it on the floor.
Her hand found his cheek and she wordlessly cupped it. She brought her face closer to his and whispered, "We're both idiots, you know that?"
Caleb furrowed his brow.
"You for being so damn rash with your decisions sometimes and me for dismissing an idea I had had the day after you'd left. I had thought about flying out to Budapest to surprise you, but then I got so mad at you… and sad… that I never wanted to hear or speak to you again."
"We'll go to Europe together one day, I promise you, Hanna." He got up and held his hand out for her to help her stand up as well. "Or Georgia, or California, or Russia, or anywhere in the world. I love you, Hanna!"
"I love you, too." She kissed him.
He laughed at her, inquiring, "Like a pain in the neck?"
"Speaking of which, I could really use another round. Would you mind?" She looked at him with her big blue eyes that wouldn't put up with a no.
"Another round of what?" He asked with glistening eyes.
Getting the notion, Hanna mischievously replied, "I'd say you start right up here," she pointed at her sore neck, "and then work your way down for as long as you can last."
At that, she lunged herself at him, unable to get by another minute without the feel of his skin on hers for a moment longer. Their lips met in a passionate kiss.
When the contact broke, Caleb looked at her with glazed eyes, "Challenge accepted. I've once waited three years, I might as well make it another three hours if that's what it takes."
Hanna quickly shed her clothes, seeing he was one step ahead of her, naked.
"I give us three minutes," she laughed before grabbing his hand and pulling him back onto the bed again.
to be continued…
Another day, another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. As always, reviews are highly appreciated.
At this point a kind thank you to Katey, Jane and Marion for inspiration and a chat session I'll never forget. XOXO! Zip