Yay new chapter!
The arena that was once ruled by daylight has now been consumed by the shadows and echoes that can only belong to the night. Once confined by the sun, dark shadows now roam free, celebrating the demise of light for the few hours that they are able to, before light conquers darkness once again. An ongoing battle. An infinite loop.
Before long, the familiar and comforting shades of navy and black are disrupted by the stars that are now scattered across the expanse of darkness like wildflowers in a meadow.
I sigh lightly as the world around me transforms itself into what could be seen as a sinister and terrifying landscape, yet in it, I see beauty. I see elegance in the absence of light.
I believe that you can see beauty in anything, anyone, just as long as you are willing to search for it. This is a philosophy that I apply to almost everything.
"Daydreamer! Hey!" My thoughts are interrupted by someone shouting. I jump slightly, fooled into thinking that my father had joined me in the arena, before I realise that although the voice is harsh, it is feminine. I turn to where the voice originated, and see Isabelle pulling a knife out of her jacket.
I flinch and immedietly reach for my bow, before realizing that she is only sharpening it. I do not release my grip on my weapon.
"Where are the others?" I ask, slightly taken aback at the number of people absent from our base.
"They're doing a little bit of hunting." a smile spreads across her face, her features accentuated by the warm glow of the campfire. I notice Yves is sitting beside her, silent, focusing on counting arrows. "We figured we would just leave you to your daydreaming. I hope you don't mind missing out. We're keeping guard."
"Oh." I breathe, relaxing slightly. "No. I do not mind at all. I prefer to keep guard to be perfectly honest." I avoid eye contact, lacing up my shoes, before the ineviatble question passes my lips.
"Have they killed anybody yet?" I ask tentatively.
"We've heard one cannon so far. I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of our own. They were fighting over food earlier." Yves chuckles. My brows furrow slightly, and I open my survival kit, rummaging through the bag until I find something vaguely nutritious to eat.
"Man. I miss capitol food." sighs Isabelle.
I smile smugly, remebering the technique I used back I the capitol. I did not indulge at all. I had the equivalent of what I would have eaten back home, to make sure I wouldn't end up overeating and craving food in the arena.
I smile and nod slightly, pretending to empathise with her.
"Has the death count been shown yet?" I ask, pulling out a camouflage kit, before deciding that it would be best used tomorrow. Although it would be advisable to start planning. We cannot stay in this field forever.
"Yes. I heard you killed a little girl from District Eight or something?"
The sudden guilt feels like a harsh blow to the chest. Suddenly I find it almost impossible to breathe evenly and my whole body aches with remorse and grief. What I have done, I can never undo. My action was certain and final. I should not have been the one to draw the life out of that young girl so violently and suddenly.
I know that the regret will seep into my brain in the quietest moments, like in the few minutes before I fall asleep. It will push it's way into the foreground of my mind and scream at me until I feel I can no longer live. It will demand all attention, just as it is doing now.
Yet somehow, I am already exhausted by the feeling of remorse. I know that no amount of analysis or self pity is going to turn back the clock.
If I was back in District One, and facing a more petty situation, I would have said to myself that the punishment was what I deserved, and that I would have to learn from my many mistakes. Yet in the arena, I am facing the worst punishment of all, and I am subjected to it all day, and all night. My own thoughts.
"I guess I did." I reply after a long pause, staring at the starlit sky to prevent tears escaping my eyes.
"You mean you did. Kind of a weak first kill if you ask me. You should have gone for Wolf." jokes Isabelle before yawning rather loudly.
"What time do you think it is?" asks Yves, stretching his long limbs before going back to his crosslegged position.
"Probably about Three 'o'clock in the morning." replies Isabelle.
I turn to examine the urban landscape that surrounds us, scanning inbetween buildings and in the small amount of greenery scattered here and there. This arena must not be incredibly large, and there are a seemingly infinite number of places to hide, and the gamemakes generally do not let the games continue for more than two weeks.
The possibility that another tribute, or a group of tributes, is watching us currently is incredibly high. I am on edge, and I am not prepared to sleep. Yet, it seems that the other careers are also settling into the insomniac lifestyle. Trust has not been built, and in my case, it never will be.
No, I do not want to kill my fellow allies. At this moment in time, they seem as if they are genuinely nice people, yet I know that as soon as something goes ever so slightly wrong, blood will be spilled between us. I must remeber that they have had an extremely similar upbringing to me, and can turn on their charming stage personalities with the flick of a switch. However, the opposite can also be done.
These people are dangerous, and it would seem that the most intelligent thing to do would be to flee from them and survive independently. If I did make the decision to flee in the situation we are in currently, they would easily be able to find me and kill me. It would be their priority, as I would become their biggest threat. But, as they are in a large group of peoole, they generally have the advantage over any single person.
If I were to escape, I would need to wait until the alliance is on the brink of destruction, and everyone is already willing to turn on eachother.
I must stay with this group, for now.
"What are you thinking?" asks Yves, once again, making me jump.
I try not to blush, as I feel as if I have been caught with my plan written across my forehead. He could easily read me if I am not cautious of my facial expressions and body language.
"I am thinking that we must leave this park at some point within the next few days. The people of the Capitol want entertainment, and the gamemakers must give it to them. Meaning that we have to put on a show, or we die. It's an unspoken contract. I would give us..." I pause to look down at my fingers as if I am trying to make an accurate calculation. In reality, I am making an educated guess. "Three days, possibly four, before they blow us up or drown us. Maybe mutts."
Yves chuckles and pauses momentarily, before using the tip of his knife to draw a circle in the ashes and dirt surrounding the fire, which is now dimming slightly.
He pushes the knife into the centre of the circle, and turns to me.
"This knife," he begins, "Is us. The careers."
"It is a representation of our alliance. Not literally us." I correct him, before letting him continue.
He glarses at me, before drawing a few random crosses outside of the circle.
"These crosses, are representations of every other tribute in this arena. I can assure you. Nobody will dare enter our territory unless they wish to die. We may as well stay here."
"I did not say that the other tributes posed a threat. The gamemakers do. We should move on soon." I sigh, both agitated and frustrated by this self centered excuse for a man.
"She's right you know." Isabelle decides to join the conversation. "We should move soon. Somewhere with more cover. Maybe then we could actually get some sleep."
I raise my eyebrows slightly, before nodding once, and pulling an extra jacket out of one of the rucksacks and wrapping myself in it. The temperature is not freezing, but it is certainty uncomfortable, and has dropped noticeably. The thin fabric provides little warmth, but it provides comfort, as if I have a blanket with me like I did as a child to protect me from the monsters I once believed hid under my bed. Now, this jacket protects me from nothing, but convinces me that the world is safe once again. It dispels the monsters that lurk in the darkers corners of my brain, and pushes the fear of death to one side for a few glorious minutes, in which I can truly find glimpses of happiness.
Then, I come crashing down to earth, as excited shouting echoes around us, and three figures emerge from the fringe of the buildings.
My hand, once again reflexivley reaches for my bow, even though I am well aware that this is the other half of our alliance returning from their "Hunting trip."
"Two! We got two!" bellows Wolf, holding his blood speckled weapon above his head.
The word congratulations is muttered between us as we settle down for the rest if what is to be a long night.
I am not certain how much time passed before most of our alliance fell asleep - but heavy breathing and occasional murmurs are now the only sounds that disturb the strange silence that has wrapped itself around us.
At least one other person is awake, I am sure of it, apart from Steel - who volunteered to keep guard. I refuse to sleep around these people. To trust them would be to proclaim my own death. However, I will often find myself awakened with a jolt from a half-asleep daydream.
Under my half closed sleeping bag, I clutch a knife. Just a precaution. Murder is not the main thing playing on my mind at this moment in time. Yet everything seems to somehow lead to it, or stem from it.
I stay awake to see the sun rising over the skyline, and with that - another day begins.