Santa's Naughty List
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I hope that you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 11
The Retrieval Team heads to the Forest of Death. To say the least, none of them were particularly thrilled about the name. It was enough to make even the most experienced SSB nervous.
"I'm really glad that I'm already dead." Jiraiya mutters as they begin to explore the enchanted forest.
"Quiet! If they are here, we want to maintain the element of surprise." Tsunade says as she waves her hand and shoots several gummy candies into the Christmas Angel's mouth to silence him.
Jiraiya blinks. Hmm. He hadn't expected that. Oh cherry flavor. That was his favorite. He decides not to complain about Tsunade's unique way of silencing people and just to enjoy the candy.
Angels could eat. They just didn't need to. There was no purpose in it other than pleasure or to make other beings feel comfortable around them. This was particularly true for angels who had to work closely with humans and didn't want the mortals to realize what they truly were.
"Guy, perhaps we could all use a bit of luck?" Rin suggests as she flaps her wings nervously.
The Tooth Fairy definitely didn't like this place. She should be out collecting teeth and bringing joy to children, not chasing after a thief. Rin had no idea why the Star Fairy had turned on them like this, but she was not happy about another fairy betraying their kind in such a vulgar fashion.
"That's an excellent idea! The power of youth will never let us down!" The leprechaun exclaims excitedly as he pulls out a piece of his gold and throws it to the ground.
It soon starts to glow. Utakata watches nervously. The Sandman knew that Leprechaun Luck didn't always work the way that the Irish Supernaturals wanted it to. There was a fifty-fifty shot that the Leprechaun King had just given them all a case of bad luck.
The coin soon glows green and everyone breathed as sigh of relief. Green meant good luck. Red meant bad.
"Well that should help find them." Kushina murmurs.
She had volunteered to go on the Retrieval Mission because Minato needed to focus on Christmas. That and there was no way that she was going to allow her ONLY son to go and chase after some crazy fairy.
No. That simply wasn't going to happen. Not on her watch. Over her dead body was Naruto going off to chase some insane Star Fairy!
"Shush. I think I hear voices. Follow me." Izuna says as he flits off and the others follow him.
A few short minutes later, Izuna blinks at what he found. The Star Fairy was there and she really was Naori. He couldn't believe it. As if that wasn't fantastic enough, she was speaking to a rather large elf.
An elf that he knew very well. Madara. His brother was alive! The New Year Fairy couldn't help but gape from his position behind a tree.
"Utakata, now." He whispers and the Sandman motions for Tsunade to walk over to him.
"I want you to make as many bats as you can. I'll put some of my sand pouches on them. That way, there is no way that the two of them will be able to dodge them all." He explains.
Tsunade nods. It sounded like a good plan. She waves her hand and thousands of bats appear, much to everyone's delight and astonishment.
There were certainly perks to being the spirit of Halloween. It was such a delightfully versatile holiday, she muses to herself. Every now and then, it was nice to show off.
"Good work." Utakata says as he waves his hand and a tiny pouch of sand was attached to each bat.
"Thank you. I do try." The busty blonde replies smugly.
"Don't tell me that you are turning into a cougar now. The man isn't even half your age." Jiraiya teases Tsunade.
Tsunade twitches. SMACK. In all fairness, the Christmas Angel should have seen that one coming. One didn't tease the spirit of Halloween and not expect there to be some consequences.
"Owe. I was only kidding around. Sheesh." Jiraiya whines as the bats take flight.
"If you were just kidding, consider that a love tap." She mutters in annoyance and Kushina giggles.
It was always amusing to watch the Christmas Angel and spirit of Halloween square off. The two of them had both been such mentors to her husband. So despite the fact that they both should have been on the Naughty List every year, he still put them on the Nice List. Minato would always have a soft spot for both of them.
Naori and Madara were completely unaware that they were being watched. The pair only had eyes for each other. To them, the rest of the world had ceased to exist. The only thing that mattered was each other.
"We'll find a way to make this work. After all, we have the miracle." He whispers to her as he caresses her cheek.
"I know. We'll find a way. We have to. We can't let that evil bitch win. MADARA! LOOK!" She suddenly cries out and points towards the sky.
Madara raises an eyebrow. It was highly unlike Naori to just start screaming like that. Curious and more than a little concerned, he did as he was bidden and gasps.
There had to be thousands of bats in the air. He had never seen anything like it. He blinks when he notices they all had some strange bulge on their belly. Naturally, Madara didn't realize that they were actually sand pouches. He just thought they were mutant bats.
"Naori! Get down!" He says as she shoves her to the ground and covers her with his own body.
That didn't work though. The bats were relentless. Each of them dropped their pouch and then the sand would be released.
Over and over again, Madara was covered by sand. Naori was as well, though most of her was protected by her almost lover. Still some did manage to get onto her. Neither of them really stood a chance and they both fell into a deep sleep, only a few moments later.
"That's odd. He tried to protect her." Rin observes as she flies over and checks their vitals.
"Maybe we should ask Mei about them." Tsunade says and the Tooth Fairy nods in agreement.
Izuna was already on Madara in a flash. Before Rin laid one finger on him, he was checking his brother to make sure it was really him and that Madara was alright. He couldn't believe it, but the evidence was staring him right in the face.
"Izuna, are you alright?" She asks in concern.
"This man. I know him. He's Madara Uchiha. He's my brother." He whispers and everyone gasps.
Gai blinks in confusion. How could that be possible though? Izuna had been born thousands of years ago. The man was only alive now because he was the New Year Fairy. So how had Madara managed to cheat death for so long?
"I know that elves live a long time, but shouldn't he have died of old age by now?" The Leprechaun King asks.
"I have no idea." Izuna says with a frown.
He just couldn't deny that this man was his brother. Madara was alive. Maybe the how didn't matter, so much as the fact that he was.
"Well this is certainly an expected turn of events, but we should get them both back to the North Pole. We don't want to risk that they'll wake up before then. Utakata have you ever used your sand on a Star Fairy before?" Jirayia asks and the Sandman shakes his head.
"No. Never. I don't know how long it will work. I'm surprised it did at all, really. You're right, Jiraiyia. We should go and quickly." He says.
Gai nods. He summons one of his largest pots. Thankfully, it was empty. It was a tight squeeze, but they were able to fit both of them in there.
"I can teleport us back to the workshop. Everyone just hold onto the pot." The King informs them.
Everyone did as they were asked. Each SSB clung onto the pot for dear life. Suddenly, a rainbow materialized out of nowhere and they all slide down it, along with the pot. It didn't take them long to return back to the North Pole.
"Well that was fun. You should seriously consider opening an amusement park." Jiraiya tells Gai with a grin.
"Do you really think so? That would be a most youthful place." Gai says as he rubs his chin thoughtfully.
Tsunade, Rin, and Kushina just shake their heads at the men's antics. At a certain point, there really wasn't much you could do. Well other than enjoy the show. The men often put on quite a show with their juvenile antics. So the women were never bored.
"Santa! Santa! We're back!" Izuna cries out and soon Minato comes running.
"Did you catch them?" He asks and the group nods as they gesture towards Guy's pot.
Santa blinks. He saw Naori and a rather large elf. He had been expecting the Star Fairy of course, but he hadn't thought that she would have an accomplice.
"Would someone mind telling me what is going on?" The Claus Patriarch asks in confusion.
"We aren't entirely certain what is going on. It does appear that they were working together. The man threw himself on the Star Fairy in an effort to protect her from the sand. Obviously, it didn't work. It's the thought that counts though. Is Mei still here?" Kushina asks her husband.
"Of course, she's here. MEI!" Minato calls out.
It didn't take long for Cupid to saunter over to them. Izuna notes that she had an excellent saunter. She was more like a Venus or Aphrodite than a traditional Cupid, in his mind.
"Did you catch our thief?" She asks excitedly.
"Yes, we did. It seems that the elf threw himself on our Star Fairy in an effort to protect her. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Santa asks.
Mei tilts her head to the side as she summons up the Book of Love. It was similar to Santa's Naught or Nice List, but much longer. Of course, she had helped millions of people fall in love while she was Cupid. So she would need some names to look them up.
"I don't suppose you know their names, do you?" She asks.
"Madara and Naori Uchiha." Izuna answers her automatically and Mei raises an eyebrow.
They had the same last name? Didn't that mean that they were already married or related? That didn't make much sense.
"Alright. I'll look. Book show me Naori and Madara Uchiha's story, if there is a connection." She says as she blows a kiss at the book and the pages start flipping wildly.
That was a good sign. It meant that their names were in the book somewhere. The magic just had to locate them. She didn't need a search engine; she had magic.
"Ah ha! Here we go. Madara and Naori Uchiha. It was a love match, but he died before anything came of it. Well at least that's what the book says." She mutters in confusion.
"Do you think that someone could have reanimated him somehow? Maybe a Necromancer?" Sasuke asks as he strides over with Naruto.
Thankfully, they had both changed and showered at this point. That didn't stop Mei from winking at them though. Cupid just couldn't resist congratulating them in a rather 'subtle' way.
Santa noticed the wink, but decides to look into the matter later. They had more important things to focus on at the moment. For instance, why had they stolen the miracles and why was Madara alive?
"It's not the work of a Necromancer. He's alive. I would be able to tell the difference." Jiraiya says.
Izuna frowns. Why would Mei's book say he was dead, if Madara was alive. He had never known the book to be wrong before.
That's when Haku and Itachi walk in. Haku blinks at the pot of 'gold.' Instead of the traditional gold that leprechauns filled their pots with, there were two people inside. The Star Fairy, he recognized. He didn't recognize the man though.
"If I may, I believe I have a theory." Haku says as to everyone's astonishment.
Hinata tilts her head and her ears twitch. She couldn't help but feel more than a little concerned for Haku. He should really still be resting, after what happened to him.
"Haku, should you really be out of the hospital this soon?" She asks nervously.
"Probably not, but I have strength for this. I am feeling a bit better though. I think I know who may be responsible for this man still being alive." Haku says.
He had overheard the entire conversation. Haku was an ice spirit. There were many advantages that came with being that type of magical being. One of them was excellent hearing.
"Who do you think is behind it?" Itachi asks the other man.
"Mother Nature. I don't think that it's a coincidence that she attacked me and then shortly afterwards, he turns up. I never would have thought that Naori would be the type to steal Christmas Miracles, but the book does say they are in love. Is it possible that she stole the miracles in an effort to save him from Mother Nature?" He asks.
Santa blinks. It sounded incredible and yet so logical. It would explain why their Star Fairy had suddenly gone rogue.
"Izuna, I want you to try to talk to the man when he wakes up. I'll have Jugo speak with Naori. After all, it is his area of expertise." Santa reasons.
"Thank you, Santa. You have no idea, what this means to me." The New Year Fairy says.
"Oh and Sasuke and Naruto, if you could come with me, that would be wonderful. I have some special training that I want to go over while we wait for our guests to awaken. As the head of the Sharingan Department, Sasuke's presence is necessary." He says as he heads off.
The young couple follow Santa. Neither of them had any idea what was about happen, but Minato did. He had seen that wink and he was going to address it now.
"I happened to notice that Mei winked at both of you. So I'm sure that the List will be quite fascinating this year. Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Claus." He says and his scroll starts rolling open until their names were found.
The elf and SIT gulp. Uh oh. This was so not good. They were definitely getting on the Naughty List for the sleigh thing.
"Show me the naughtiest thing that each of them have done all year." He says and the list glows before some words form on the page.
Minato quickly reads it and his eyes widen. Oh for the love of all that was jolly, really? They did that on the sleigh?!
"I want you both to know that you aren't being put on the Naughty List because you were intimate with another man or someone outside your species. You're being put on the Naughty List because you defiled MY sleigh!" He growls at them.
"That's fair. We did clean it off afterwards, if that helps." Sasuke mutters as he looks down at his feet in contrition.
Minato groans and smacks his forehead. Well that did help a little bit. He supposed he couldn't be too mad at them. They were young and in love. Hormones were clearly playing a role as well.
"Yeah. That's fair. We totally get that. Besides, shouldn't we be focusing on the whole Star Fairy vs. Mother Nature thing?" Naruto suggests hopefully.
"Oh you aren't getting out of this, that easily. You are both getting coal in your stockings this year." Minato informs them.
Both men breath a sigh of relief at that. If coal was the worst of their punishment, they could live with that. Besides, they had each other. Presents were nice, but there was no greater gift than love (and some really hot, sleigh lovemaking!)
"Yeah. We deserved that." Naruto agrees.
"Oh. I'm not done with either of you yet. You are both on Reindeer Stall Duty for a month." Santa continues.
"Awe! Come on, dad! We totally cleaned it up and everything!" Naruto whines.
"Do you want me to put you on Stall Duty for a year? I can make it a year." Santa replies.
"No, sir." Naruto grumbles and Minato just shakes his head in amusement.
Honestly, they were barely any better than a pair of naughty teenagers that snuck out and got caught. He supposed that Naruto would always be his baby, no matter how old he got. Hopefully, Kushina wouldn't try to sneak a look at the List again this year though.
"That's what I thought. Sasuke, why don't you go brief the elves on the situation?" The elder Claus suggests.
"Alright. I'll see you later, Naruto." Sasuke says and he kisses his boyfriend's cheek, before darting off.
Minato just shakes his head. Honestly, it was about time they got together. He just wish that they had chosen somewhere that WASN'T his sleigh to make love on.
"Well Naruto?" The elder blonde asks.
"Yeah, Dad?" Naruto replies warily, not entirely sure that the worst of Santa's wrath was over.
"Was it worth it? Was it worth cleaning out reindeer stalls for a month to do that on MY sleigh?" He asks.
Naruto rubs the back of his head sheepishly. Why did he get the impression that was some sort of trick question? Probably because it was, he muses.
"Totally, 1000% worth it." He says with a grin, figuring he was already on the Naughty List anyway. (He might as well be honest.)
Minato chuckles. Yes, they were definitely a pair of overgrown teenagers. Well he supposed he couldn't be too hard on them. That wasn't the first time that sleigh had been taken for a "joy ride."
"That's funny. That's exactly what I told my father when I was in your position a few decades ago." He says with a chuckle.
Naruto's eyes go wide. Suddenly, he felt like he was going to be sick. His PARENTS had sex on the SAME sleigh?!
"Y-You what?!" He asks completely scandalized.
"You were certainly not the first person to think of that idea and it's unlikely you'll be the last. Don't worry. It was decades ago. We also cleaned it up afterwards, if that helps." Minato says, echoing Sasuke's earlier words.
"Ouch. That was ice cold." Naruto grumbles.
Meanwhile Izuna was watching Madara. Naori had been taken to the Northern Department. When she woke, the woman was going to be questioned by Jugo. He was Madara's brother. So it was only fair that he would be the first to speak with him.
True to form, Madara wakes up scarcely an hour later. His eyes scan the room immediately in terror. It was heartbreaking to hear him call out Naori's name.
"Naori is fine. She's just going to answer a few questions. You're in Santa's workshop. No one in this place is truly evil. Though I suspect the fact that you are still alive, means you have encountered some very dark magic in since we last saw each other." Izuna greets him.
Madara's eyes widen. It couldn't be. Was that really Izuna? How as that possible? Was he finally dead? Had whatever those bats threw on them, killed him and Naori?
"Am I dead? Am I finally dead? Izuna, it's been so long." He says.
"You aren't dead. That's what is so confusing. We both know that you should have died of old age, a long time ago. I died, but was reincarnated and brought back as the current New Year Fairy. Though that doesn't explain how you are alive. Is a Necromancer controlling you? We have to know, Madara." Izuna says.
Izuna was alive! They were both alive. It was a miracle. The biggest miracle that he had ever seen. The woman he loved and his brother were both ALIVE!
That's when his eyes widened in horror. A miracle. Had they accidentally activated the miracle? That was their only hope of defeating Kaguya!
"I'm not being controlled by a Necromancer, but I am being controlled by someone else." He admits.
"Who? Madara, you are at the North Pole. When we realized that the miracles were stolen, we convened an emergency meeting. Some of the most powerful SSBs are here." The fairy informs him.
"Kaguya. Mother Nature. After your death, I lost control. Mother asked for her help to calm me. Kaguya ended up freezing me. Afterwards, she decided to keep me. For most of the past few thousand years, she's had my heart frozen. She unfreezes it, when she needs a good minion. I found Naori recently. She wanted to help me become a free elf again. We thought that if we were to combine the Christmas Miracles into one big miracle, that maybe we would have a chance. I was also planning on returning all the magical objects that I borrowed." He explains.
Izuna frowns. Madara wanted to take on Mother Nature. That was insanity, but still he couldn't let Kaguya keep his brother as her slave. He had to do SOMETHING to help him.
"We will need to sprinkle you both with truth dust. I believe that you are being honest, but the others will need assurance. Taking on Mother Nature is not something to be done lightly. They will want proof." He says.
Mother Nature was immortal. The most that they could hope to accomplish was freezing her like she had Madara. That or something in the same vein. This wouldn't be easy.
"I understand completely. Please, I want to see Naori. I want to make sure she's alright. You have no idea how much my heart was gladdened to find out that you were both alive." He whispers.
Izuna smiles and embraces his brother. He couldn't believe it. Madara was back. Now he just had to find a way to save him from Kaguya. Sadly, that was easier said than done.
"I feel the same way. I will speak to the others. We'll get this sorted out. Kaguya messed with the wrong family. She will come to regret her decision to do so. I promise you that much." Izuna vows.
Madara nods. Kaguya had messed with the wrong family. Maybe, just maybe they could find a way to defeat her. Izuna was right.
They were surrounded by some of the most powerful magical beings in the world and still had the miracle. They would find a way to stop her. They had to. If they didn't, it would likely mean the end of all of them.