I'm actually quite proud that I made the majority of you cry from the last chapter. That was the sad ending for the original idea. As you can see, Dean and I didn't like it.
(In the present.) (August 2009)
Castiel flew Dean back to the road side with him a little after 4 hours were up because Dean said that was what he needed to rest his weary human consciousness. It was a good thing he had returned when he had because Zachariah had been in the room, yelling threats about sending Dean back to some place; some time. Once they were safely by the road, Dean turned slow, his eyes wide as he took Castiel in; as though it was the first time Dean was seeing him.
A wide smile broke out on Dean's face, relief flooding the air. "Pretty nice timing, Cas." Castiel hinted a smile which Dean seemed to react strongly to.
"We had an appointment." Castiel touched the phone in his trench coat and Dean stepped forward, grasping Castiel's shoulder. Dean lifted a hand to say something, but then, Castiel was surprised by a hug. A real, chest to chest hug which Castiel had never felt before and the feeling was warm and welcome. Castiel's muscles loosened but Dean moved back before Castiel's arms raised to clutch him back.
"Don't ever change." Dean looked him dead in the eye and Castiel nodded. The emotion powered by those words were enough to not make Castiel question why. Then Dean looked down at Castiel's swollen belly, which hummed with Dean's touch and Castiel willed it to settle. "Cas." Dean looked Castiel in the eye again and Castiel was struck with Dean's clear determination, his hand curled on Castiel's nape. "I swear, you're gonna be able to keep Angel Baby. You got that? I'm gonna be there, and no one's gonna take him away from you. 'Cause I'm going to be there, no matter what." Castiel's throat dried and he was struck in the heart with the promise to cure all the fears he'd been feeling for nearly a year now.
"Dean..." Castiel had no words. Dean pulled him close, their faces almost touching and Castiel was caught unsure, but willing for contact...
"I... I've got to make a call." Dean pulled away and Castiel took in a slow breath; his body tingling. He watched quietly as Dean called Sam, asking him to meet up again. Asking to make amends; to return to hunting together. What ever Dean had been through had rattled him badly.
They retrieved the Impala and Dean set out to drive, insisting that Castiel ride with him.
"I should be searching for God," Castiel insisted as Dean was driving and Castiel's fingers slid over the worn leather of the passenger seat.
"Just sit still until I get Sam." Dean said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. It had been barely 20 minutes since Castiel had whisked Dean from his motel and Dean was still ridged.
"Dean, what did Zachariah do?" Castiel pondered on the infinite ways Zachariah could have tortured Dean; all the sicknesses and stresses that were possible. The endless times and situations that Dean could have been through in a short few hours. Castiel knew none that would cause Dean to react so badly; except Sam perhaps.
"Just..." One of Dean's hands loosened from the steering wheel to wave the question away, as though he didn't want to think about it. "Just talk to me about Angel Baby, okay?" Castiel glanced down at his burden. His fingers curled on top of the stretched flesh. "What's it like?"
"Carrying a new angel?" Castiel ran his knuckles over the mound. "It's like having another in your mind and being; conscious and aware."
"So you feel it?"
"Of course. It is half of my grace." Castiel frowned, looking at Dean. "How can I not feel it?"
"You just..." Dean glanced sideways at Castiel, taking in the full being he was next to. "Up to a few months ago, you didn't seem to care."
"I do care," Cas said lowly, eyes drifting downwards, "It is half of me, Dean. I'm more attached to it than I wish to be. I feel it growing." He felt it growing strong on his limited resources. It was his death sentence and one of the dearest things he had.
"You want to keep him," Dean stated and Castiel stared at him, not sure what Dean was looking for. "Say it."
"I... I don't even see how it's a question." Castiel breathed and Dean gave him a hard look. "Yes. Yes, of course I want to keep him." Both of his hands were pressed tight to his grace.
"Good." Dean sat back in his seat, no longer staring so closely at Castiel. It warmed Castiel to say it. Yes, he wanted to keep it. He couldn't give it up willingly to heaven now. "He needs a name. I feel weird about calling him Angel Baby now." Castiel inclined his head to the side. He had reasoned that he would get sick of the name before Dean.
"Why the change of heart?" Castiel folded his hands in his lap.
"It's just... he needs a proper name." Dean kept his gaze on the road. "Have any in mind?" Castiel paused in thought, his mind going over the list of names in Heaven. He'd dabbled with the idea since Dean first mentioned it but hesitated because giving something a name gave it emotional attachment. A personality. But Dean was so determined...
"Nemamiah." Castiel felt a smile tug at his lips as he relaxed and the consciousness in the back of his mind hummed lightly.
"Mamma-mia?" Dean's eyebrow raised at Castiel, as though he was making a connection to something human related.
"Nemamiah," Castiel repeated, brows raising and he looked Dean's way. "The angel of just causes." He inclined his head to look at Dean more meaningfully. "Protector and defender of the defenseless." Dean stared at Castiel a moment.
"Yeah, really noble sounding," Dean responded slowly. Castiel looked up at Dean, staring fixedly. "Any special reason?"
"It's just what you do." Castiel's thumb and palm ran over his belly. "Protecting humans who don't know about demons and monsters."
Dean leaned back against the seat. He seemed stunned. "So, what, you're sort of... naming him after me?"
"I suppose, I am." Castiel nodded slowly and Dean just stared at him and they were veering dangerously to the left. "Dean. The road." Dean's eyes flickered back to the road and the Impala eased back between the white lines. They had several hundred miles to cover and Dean turned on the radio to fill most of the trip.
(Nememiah is an actual angel: He protects those who struggle for justice and for the rights of those who can not defend themselves; such as children and animals. He inspires us to have empathy in our hearts.)