The responses I'm getting is... Well, its overwhelming. To be honest I wasn't really expecting to get reviews. I just thought everyone would think I was nuts. Thanks, I guess and sorry in advance. You probably won't like this chapter.

This chapter dedicated to Will.

Okay, so back to the ostentatiousmobile...

This is the part where it started to suck. Not just suck. Suck sounds too "You have homework tonight? Oh, that sucks." This was beyond sucking. It's sucking to its extreme.

It was devastating.

Just like a few days before this event I wished I was living in a world the Twilight world. You know the one in Forks, not in my apartment. The one where there was a family of good vampires, instead of just one questionable one, or one where there's a pack of werewolves to care about what happens to me.

Bella has it easy.

The car pulled up to the curb. The ride was long and kind of frivolous as somehow Alec and I had gotten into a pattern of arguing with one another when things started to get tense. I was relieved leaving Nicholas back at that alley. It made me confident in Alec and seeing them beside one another was even better. Alec was bigger, he had more wisdom, and I thought about what might have killed the mediator.

My only conclusion was Alec must have killed her. Then he goes and breaks the big Rule #2 by telling me? It made me think that he truly was looking out for my safety. That he wasn't worried about winning or the sanctity of the Game. It made me feel like he really wanted me to be alive for whatever reason. I chose to believe this above every other possibility because I never did find out for sure what happened and this theory made me feel safe with the vampire.

So, I'll stop stalling you with my theories because I'm distracting myself from the devastating part. When Alec opened the door of his car he paused. I also paused.

"What is it?" I asked. He debated on his answer. Then his eyes went black, the orangish irises diminished into his widening pupils. Then he took in some deep breaths from outside. The color of his eyes told me not to press my luck with demanding an answer even though I was itching to know. It felt like an eternity as his mind reeled.

Then he stuck his head out the window and looked at the time.

"Where is the most sunlight in this area?" he asked. He stuck his key in the car and revved the engine. I thought for a moment and then gave him the location. Lucky for me I still had my seatbelt on. Alec sped down to this location in fifteen minutes were it would have taken me forty-five minutes and I'm not exactly the slowest driver in town.

In those fifteen minutes there was no way I was going to try and strike up a conversation. The tension in the car was grim. I knew something had gone terribly wrong without him even telling me. The wheels in my brain were turning trying to think, what could have given Alec this sudden mood swing?

He dropped me off at this place the sun was high. Through his dark windows I saw lots of people. For some odd reason this is where luck decided to be on my side. I could have used it way earlier. There was a festival here so there was lots of people.

Alec saw a family of four standing next to the toll booth. They were a nice looking family I guess. He pointed at them.

"Go up to that family, Jaylin. Tell them you were just in a car accident down the road and you're waiting for the highway patrol to come meet you. Tell them you don't want to be alone. Don't let them leave you even for a second. Cry or beg if you must," he said. I tried to be agreeable, but I had to open my big mouth.

"I can't cry on cue," I said.

"Nicholas killed your neighbor," he said. My eyes widened at this. I couldn't move under his black gaze. I was terrified. I was confused. Alec was even less patient than he usually was. "We don't have time for this. Now get out before I lose control and KILL YOU!" I fumbled for the door handle and scrambled out of the car. Alec drove away the second I had one foot on the ground. He sped off even faster than he'd driven to get here.

When I looked up I didn't even have to ask the family if they'd keep me company, I didn't have to fake crying either. They'd heard the last end of our conversation. Alec isn't exactly known for using his inside voice. They next hour was a blur. I kind of just blanked out.

The family thought I was crying because I was a victim of domestic violence. I couldn't even speak to correct them with the phony car accident story. The wife was a nurse or something to do with hospital. I had the bruises to support the battered woman theory, though they'd come from Alec snatching me out of the car when we'd gone to meet Nicholas.

The mother, wife, girlfriend, whoever she was stayed there and kept me company while the father took the kids on some rides. I just sat there and cried as she went on about how many girls like me she's seen. Little did she know she's probably never seen girls like me. Not unless she worked in a morgue where the poorly disposed victims of vampires went.

Her babbling faded into the background. She was quite a talker, come to think of it.

My mind finally started to work again. What had Alec meant when he meant my neighbor was dead? Well, come to think about it, there's really nothing to wonder about. My neighbor was dead. Will was dead. Little sparks of hope sometimes rose to the surface and made me think, maybe it was one of my other neighbors, maybe he's wrong, maybe someone else was dead. How could he know? He didn't actually see a body.

Then I remembered the color of his eyes. His draining restrain. He hadn't needed to see the body. He had smelled the blood. Then I was surprised as the Twilight fan in me somehow made me wonder.

How had he managed not to kill me in the car after he smelled fresh blood?

As I was lost in my thoughts and it was nearing sunset, the ostentatious car rolled up in front of us. Before the woman could try and continue her lecture about why I should leave my abusive boyfriend I ran into the car without even saying goodbye to the woman who'd been so nice as to babysit me on a sunny day while there was a crazed vampire after me.

I got in the car tear stained and messy. I buckled my seat belt and waited for the car to race forward. It didn't. Alec drove at a normal human speed. He mosied down the freeway and took me directly to the airport. We didn't speak the whole way there, but Alec and I have spoken about this event since then, so I'll tell you what happened.

Nicholas had meant to leave a warning behind just for me. So he went to my apartment and killed Jasper. Alec doesn't go into details about what he saw, but I imagine it must have been messy. The next part is what Alec thinks what happened because he wasn't there to witness it, but its the most logical explanation.

Will must have heard the commotion upstairs. I don't imagine Jasper went down without making some sort of noise, and Will has always been protective of Jasper. He went to investigate, as always, barging in without thought. Still in a blood frenzy, Nicholas must have killed him too.

Alec went back and took care of the bodies. What that means I don't know, and I don't really want to know. He just said that things were "cleaned up." Then he grabbed a few things of mine, threw them in a backpack, and left.

That's what happened. That's why I can't sleep at night. That's why I have anxiety. That's why I'm constantly getting sick and migraines. That's how I became on the vampire's most wanted list. So here's my journal.

My validation.

AN Note:

Sorry for those of you that actually took the time to read this. I know the end is kind of a downer, but this is the truth after all and there aren't a whole lot of happy endings in my experience. Or at least that is what my delusions have led me to believe is the truth. I've gotten better since this happened. It's not the first time I've had to deal with death, just the first time I've had to deal with one that was partially my fault.

I might keep writing, but now that this part is done I don't know what else I need to say. I mean, more stuff has happened since then. Maybe I can just tell you what its like to have a vampire constantly dragging you around, or tell you how I'm trying my own hand at tracking down the Cullens. (I'm determined to know whether they exist or not.) I don't know.

I guess I'll give it a few days and see if anything bad comes from me posting this "fan fiction." Sooner or later Alec's going to catch on to what I've been writing, adding, and emailing to myself on the computer. I'm dreading that day because I kind of enjoyed writing this and I know he'll make me stop.