Okay I'm back. I'm sure you're all like WTF where have you been? I've been busy with school and I'll admit a little writers block. I kept second guessing myself with how this chapter should go and what should happen gah so frustrating. I would like to apologize for the long wait and I hope that this update was worth it! Thank you all for your amazing reviews from the last chapter, the threats to update really motivated me haha. And...we got past 200 reviews! Woot, for me thats a big deal and It's thanks to all of you!

PREVIOUSLY! EPOV

I slowly opened it like it was the most precious thing in the world, as if it would fall apart in my hands if I gripped too tightly. When I reached the front page I was greeted by a quote. "[Poems] are the products of an active imagination pressing against a hostile and continually shifting reality." – Gary Geddes. I ran my fingers over the depressions her pen made, trying to make sense of those words. It was a peculiar quote to start off the book with and I wondered why she chose it. Once again, I was met with more questions.

Sighing I continued onto the next page and began to read. Then next page…next page…next page, my hand couldn't stop turning them. My eyes widened with every word I read, my heart taking on an uneven rhythm.

I didn't stop reading until late into the night and when I did one word fell from my lips.

"Bella."

So here it is. Chapter 11. Read, Review and Enjoy!

Chapter 11: Worlds Collide

POV: Bella

"Where is it? Where is it? Where the hell is it?" I chanted loudly to no one as I ruffled through my bed sheets for what had to be the fifth time. When I realized they weren't hiding anything, again, I ran to my back pack and started rummaging through it again going so far as to tip all my books out and open them individually. Nothing! I jumped to my feet quite gracefully for me and starting going through the items on my desk and in drawers but the only thing that it got me was another round of cursing. I'm sure I resembled something like the Tasmanian Devil, moving around my room in a blur leaving its usually neat contents strewn all over the place.

When I woke up this morning I got a familiar urge to write in my notebook but when I went to retrieve it from my bag it was gone. At first I tried not to panic thinking that perhaps I moved it and merely forgot but as I checked my room top to bottom it became clear it wasn't here. I was getting really worried. That book was practically a diary to me or better yet a best friend and the thought of anyone having access to it without my permission was horrifying.

I re-packed my back pack and quickly left my room to head to the living room. I walked to the fire place and peaked in only to sigh in relief. It hadn't been used in at least twenty-four hours by the looks of things so there was no way was it thrown in and burned, another horrifying idea. I doubt my parents would ever be that cruel but I just had to make sure that they didn't somehow take it. I felt guilty about thinking such a thing, I'll admit, but I wasn't exactly thinking properly right now.

I searched in every room, checking under the couches, opening up all the drawers, in the closets and even went so far as the peak into the vents. All that got me was a blast of hot air into my face. Like I said, I wasn't exactly thinking this through at the moment.

I glanced at the clock as I returned to my room and cursed once again since I had to leave if I wasn't going to be late for school, I was cutting it close as it was. I grabbed my bag off the floor and quickly made my way outside and to my car. I could see that Edward had already left and I sighed a little before returning to my notebook problem.

I checked both the front and back seats of the car twice to see if it was there but apparently lady luck decided to screw with me today. Sulking the entire way I quickly drove to the school and parked, though because I was later than usual I was as far away from the front doors as possible. This day is just starting out sooo well for me.

When I entered the building I heard the annoying band song playing over the speakers that indicated we had about three minutes to get to class give or take. It was at least thirty seconds into the song so I hurried to my locker but tripped along the way, most likely on my own feet. My knees hit the cold floor and I groaned in pain while a few other dawdling students stopped and stared.

"Oh no I'm just fine, don't help me up." I grumbled to myself and I pushed off the floor and continued down the hall, trying to ignore the throbbing in my legs. This was most definitely one of those days where you wished you could just sink into your bed and disappear from the world. I would have to save that for another time I guess. I made it to my locker, finally and opened quickly knowing I didn't have long. While grabbing the books I needed and depositing the ones I didn't need I shifted everything around looking…once again. It wasn't here, not that I could see anyway. The song was ending so I slammed the locker shut with perhaps a little more force than necessary and rushed to class.

I was breathing heavily from my pace when I entered the door to my business class. "Nice of you join us Miss. Swan." The teacher said with attitude and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I was late by a maximum of thirty seconds. I went from him praising the others and I for our presentation yesterday to getting the evil eye. Great! As I made my way to my desk I looked in Edward's direction and smiled slightly but stopped when I saw the look on his face. He was staring at me so intently, like I was some puzzle he was trying to figure out. There was confusion, curiosity, recognition and something else in his eyes…hope maybe. When our eyes met this seemed to only increase the flow of emotions pooling there and it was a little overwhelming. None of this made sense so I adverted his gaze and joined Angela while I thought over why he was looking at me like that.

While I tried to focus on the projects being presented throughout the period I could feel his eyes on me and it was incredibly distracting. The part I hated was whenever I checked he wasn't looking at me. To say I was getting frustrated would be an understatement. Still, I knew he was looking because I got that same tingling feeling over my body whenever he did. Something was off about him and just this entire day in general and I wanted to know what it was. Just yesterday he was laughing and smiling and joking and I was pretty sure he may have even flirted a little but he seemed more resigned and unsure today, contemplative. What happened to change his whole demeanor so quickly?

Class was boring and as predictable as ever so when the bell rang signifying that it was time to leave for my class with Alice I sighed in relief and quickly packed up my stuff. I saw Edward and Mike leave the room and I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be walking with him again like yesterday even if it was only for a moment. Still, just before they disappeared Edward looked behind his shoulder quickly to look at me. When he saw I caught him he gave me a small smile and I returned it hoping this funk he was in would pass quickly, I wanted the Edward I saw yesterday back.

I made it to Calculus with several minutes to spare though I wasn't surprised that Alice had beaten me there, I had yet to arrive before her. I immediately took my seat beside her and tried to smile but not only was I was still upset about my notebook but I was confused with Edward's behaviour which adding to my worries. Alice being Alice picked up instantly on my mood and while we still had a few minutes to talk she turned to me. "Bella, you don't look so good. You okay?" her voice laced with nothing but concern.

I sighed. "Can I explain at lunch?" I asked, my eyes pleading. It was a mix of not knowing what to say and the fact the teacher looked ready to begin class. She nodded her head in agreement, pulling me into a quick half hug before turning her attention to the front and taking down notes. I tried to copy her but my mind just wasn't there so I missed half of what the teacher said.

I jumped a little when the bell rang, completely oblivious to my surroundings. I felt a nudge beside me and turned to see Alice depositing her notes into my binder and I looked at her curiously.

She flashed me a brilliant smile. "You can borrow them to copy later."

"Thanks Alice." I tried to pore as much gratitude into my words as possible. It was times like this I always wondered why Alice didn't have a million friends at this school. I had asked her once but she just always just shrugged mumbling about some not being able to handle her and her quirky ways. I had disagreed profusely, unable to imagine my life without her now, but let it drop.

We walked quickly to the cafeteria and my stomach chose then to growl loud enough that a few people actually glanced at me as I passed. I blushed furiously in embarrassment.

"Whoa Bella, I always knew you were a little cougar but I never realized you had a replica living in your stomach." Alice teased and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You caught me. I forgot to have breakfast this morning and I guess its just hitting me now." I said truthfully. I was in such a panic this morning that food was the last thing on my mind. Well it still was but clearly my stomach didn't like being ignored and I knew I needed to eat despite my growing unrest. We made it to the lunch line quickly and I opted for a piece of pizza, a coke and an apple, hoping to add something healthy to my system, before I took my seat at our usual table.

Edward and Jasper had yet to arrive so as soon as I sat in my spot Alice turned to me. "What's going Bells? Surely you must be on cloud nine after yesterday's many successes, which you will be spilling tonight, and now it looks like someone kicked your puppy."

I hesitated on how to tell her and thought it through quickly and was grateful Alice was a little more patient than usual as she sat there silently. "I lost something important to me and it has me worried."

She looked a little shocked at what was bothering me but replaced that emotion with concern quickly. "What was it?"

"Ummm, it was my notebook." I said quietly and I saw recognition spark in her eyes.

"Wait that black and white book you always carry with you?" She clarified and I nodded my head. I saw curiosity in her eyes before she spoke. "I always wondered what you wrote in that thing but I didn't want to intrude, it seemed" she stopped and looked to be thinking of the right word. "…private."

I sighed. "Ya it is. I guess you can say it's a diary of sorts but mostly just filled with little ideas and poems I've written." I said honestly, I owed her that much of the truth. I think she wanted to question me further but thankfully backed off and clapped her hands together.

"Okay then it's time to brainstorm, how are we going to find this thing?" She said cheerfully.

"Find what?" I heard Jaspers voice from behind me just before he sat down beside Alice while Edward took the spot next to me though he remained silent.

"Bella can't find her notebook so we're trying to think of where she could have left it. Now Bells, when did you use it last?" Her voice was low and serious as if she was interrogating me on an episode the Law and Order or something. Beside me I thought I saw Edward stiffen but I couldn't be sure. He did look more tense than usual but I ignored it for now while I turned my attention back to Alice.

"I wrote in it quickly Sunday night and I thought I put it in my back pack as usual but its not there. I searched my room several times thinking maybe I took it out or that it didn't leave my room at all but so far nothing." I took a bite of my pizza and chewed quickly before taking a sip of my drink. "This has never happened before." I admitted.

"And you're sure you've checked everywhere?"

"I think so, I can't think of anywhere else to look since I don't move it around a lot, mostly my back pack or my room. I don't understand what happened to it." I grumbled, tossing my apple back and forth in my palm.

"What's so important about this book?" Jasper asked curiously.

"It just is Jazz, girl stuff." Alice said simply and I gave her a thankful smile. Why I was so wound up about them knowing what is inside I'll never know since they had my trust but I was. Jasper shrugged before eating again. "We could always put up posters around town to find it." She said to herself and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't think it would matter. If someone has it they would know it belonged to me since my name is all over it." I said truthfully though I got sick feeling in my stomach at the idea of someone not stopping at the first page and continuing on to read it.

"The posters would make people more aware it exists and therefore people would be on the lookout. Besides, what happens if they don't know who you are? How are they to know how to get in touch with you?" She reasoned.

I raised a single eyebrow. "Alice there's just over 3000 people in town. Everyone knows everybody, even the newbee family."

She shook her head in disappointed. "You never know Bella. Stop being such a pessimist jeez."

"Sorry Alice I'm just upset and sometimes I can't help it. If you think posters might help than we'll do it." I plastered on a smile on my face though it was a little forced.

"Good, come over after school and we'll get a start on the posters, do some homework and watch a movie. All will be well."

I nodded my head. "Sure, sounds good." I tried to sound convincing but once again judging my Alice's face I wasn't as convincing as I thought I was.

"Don't worry Bells, it's always in the last place you look." Alice cheerfully and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Of course it is Alice, seriously who would continue to look for an object after they found it?" I shook my head at the ridiculousness of that saying. Who came up with that saying?

Alice went unfazed and shrugged her shoulders. "You never know, I can see Jessica doing that." She joked and I let out a small laugh as I glanced across the room at Jessica Stanley. I had nothing against her and I try not to talk about people behind their backs but that girl was a few crayons short of a full box. She actually asked our teacher who spent a year abroad in Australia if she learned to speak Australian. Seriously?

I shook my head and resumed eating my pizza though it wasn't as warm as it was earlier. I was almost done when I glanced to my left and caught Edward staring intently at me again. Alice and Jasper had already succumbed to their own little world so I doubt they noticed his strange behaviour.

"Is there something on my face?" I asked, grabbing a napkin and blindly wiping at random spots on my face. He shook his head no but continued to stare. "Ummm alright…are you okay, you seem a little off." I said quietly, generally concerned.

He smiled his crooked smile and while his face seemed to return to normal his eyes were still probing. "I'm good, just a lot on my mind."

I shifted closer to him and kept my voice low while I tired to be discrete and inhale his scent. "Anything you wanna talk about?" Yup, smells delicious!

He shook his head. "Not right this second but could we talk about something else?"

I shrugged my shoulders just happy he's speaking to me...man I'm pathetic. "Sure, got anything in mind?"

He suddenly got this determined look in his eyes before smiling. "Well I don't really know much about you so I was wondering if you wanted to continue playing twenty questions?"

I almost forgot we had begun this game on Sunday when he found me in the meadow. We didn't get very far before I asked him why he hated me in the beginning and I guess the game never came back up. Well I guess I defeated that playful mood fairly quickly so its understandable. I considered this for a moment before nodding my head. "Fine but we alternate questions like last time. Are we starting from the beginning or where we left off?"

"Well we only have a few minutes of lunch left so let's just continue until the bell rings." I agreed and he smiled again. "Alright I'll go first. What's your favorite movie?"

"Hmmm that's tough and I think it's a tie between the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet or Benny and Joon." A renewed spark appears in his eyes but for some reason this didn't surprise him as if he was waiting for me to say those words. Maybe I'm just predictable.

"Good choices." He nodded his head in approval.

"You've seen them?" I asked genuinely curious. I always thought that they leaned towards more of the realm of chick flicks but Edward constantly surprised me so maybe I shouldn't be so shocked.

"I have, I was pushed to watch them by a friend. They're pretty good I gotta admit." He chuckled like he was remembering a fond memory or joke.

"Sounds like this friend has good taste." I probed, hoping he'd give me a name without me being too nosey.

"I won't argue that. So its your turn." He gestured with his hand for emphasis.

I was tempted to delve deeper into this friend for some reason but I kinda felt like a waste of a question so I left it for now. There was always another day. What did I want to know about Edward, well besides everything? I thought about it for a moment before deciding. "Alright, what's your favorite childhood memory."

He pondered it for a moment before smiling genuinely, his eyes looking far away from a moment. "I was nine and my family and I went down to La Push beach where they were putting on a fireworks show that night. It was one of the few sunny and warm days we get and we spent the entire day on the beach either vegging on towels or playing games in the water." He chuckled before continuing. "Emmett and I were playing tag when the show began suddenly. We were both startled but Emmett was the only one who squeeled like a little girl when the first one went off. I haven't let him forget it since."

I couldn't help the goofy smile that matched his at the image of little Edward on the beach with his brother and family. I had seen several photos in their living room of his absent brother and him, both absolutely adorable. His memory seemed very familiar for some reason but I couldn't place it exactly. I was running through possible memories of where it would be familiar when Edward regained my attention.

"Now you got me curious, what's your favorite childhood memory?"

I didn't even blink, there was always one that stood out beyond the rest despite having a good childhood. "Easy, the time my parents and I went to a local fair that was in town for the week, I was eight. You know those rides that look like strawberries or sometimes tea cups where they spin and you can make it spin faster with a center wheel?" He nodded his head, giving me his full attention like what I said was the most vital information in the world. "Well my dad and I went on and we spun it ridiculously fast the entire two minutes. All I can remember is a blur of faces and my laughter as well as my fathers. Well when we got off we were all smiles untill be both keeled over and puked at the side." I chuckled.

"Okay gross, that doesn't exactly sound pleasant." He tried to sound serious but he seemed to be enjoying my memory almost as much as me.

"Well that part wasn't pleasant but honestly I've never had so much fun with my dad nor have I seen him let loose like that, well without alcohol. My dad isn't cold or boring but he doesn't often just…let go like that." I smiled and blinked away a tear. "Besides after some ginger ale and a quick sit down I had a bundle of cotton candy in my hand despite my mother's objections."

"Well now I can understand why it's your favorite, sounds nice. I assume this was before the unfortunate clown incident." He teased and I groaned.

"Ugh don't remind me, that was the next year and I rarely go to fairs now and I make sure plenty of surveillance is done in advance." I shuddered and banished the images of that year from my mind before coming up with another question. "So next question. For our project when we chose what kind of business we wanted you said music store without a moment's hesitation. Why is that?"

He shifted for a moment and smiled sheepishly. "I've always had a passion for music."

"Really? I was figured you more for the sciences than the arts. Do you play anything?" I asked curious.

"I've played the piano since I was a young child." He admitted smiling crookedly at me. Now that I really took him in I could picture his frame sitting in front of an elegant black piano. His chiseled jaw tensing as he played, his posture rigid yet relaxed and his long fingers running gently and elegantly across the keys. God I swear my body temperature went up ten degrees with that image and that inner voice smiled deviously before pressing play on her video recorder.

I realized I had been staring at his fingers, not exactly normal behaviour, so I lifted my eyes back up to meet his. When I did it seemed like his eyes were trying to covey something, for me to understand but they were such simple questions I couldn't see any possibility for delving much further. The bell rang, startling me a little and breaking up our game.

"Bella can I catch a ride home with you since we're hanging out tonight anyway?" Alice asked as we gathered up our things.

"Of course, I'll meet you in the parking lot after school." She nodded before she and Jasper disappeared out into the hall. Edward and I walked out together side by side and I noticed a few girls looking at us as we walked, giving me the stink eye. I looked sideways to see if Edward noticed by he was just looking at me again. In a weird way I guess I was slowly starting to get used to it even if I didn't understand it. At least his expression was hostile or disguised.

When we walked into our biology classroom I saw the TV in the middle of the black board and our teacher setting up a DVD. We took our seats and I could here the chatter of the students happy that we wouldn't be doing anything in class today, not really.

"We're watching a video today and you will be tested on it so pay attention everyone. That means no talking." The teacher announced, giving us all the look that said 'not a word or else'. Definitely not in a good mood today. A few nodded their heads but as soon as he turned out the lights I could see a few people take out pens and paper. The light from the TV wasn't much but it was enough that you could still read any notes. He just said we couldn't talk, not that we couldn't communicate.

He pressed play and returned to his desk as the title screen popped up. Blood: Path of a Red Blood Cell. Was the title and I giggled as we went on the fascinating journey of a lone blood cell as it made its way through the circulatory system. While I didn't talk to him, trying to take in some of the movie, I was very aware of Edwards presence beside me. It was almost like an invisible current was buzzing around us and there were moments when I became stronger. Those were the times I was sure he was staring at me again. Judging by the jumps in the current, he looked at me often.

When class was over we walked to gym together before separating to our respective change rooms. We started basketball today and would be continuing with it until the end of this semester. Within a span of twenty minutes I managed to fall twice, jam my finger and hit Mike in the head…again. After Mike the teacher thought it was best for both my safety and the safety of my class mates that I referee instead.

As I walked to the side Edward grinned and walked past me before leaning in causing my breath to hitch. "Look on the bright side, at least you get to use the whistle." I rolled my eyes but grinned as he ran off to re-join the game. He really was a sight to behold and made my job really difficult since I found myself staring at him more than the actual game.

When school was over I met Alice in the parking lot and after a quick goodbye to the boys we got into my car and headed to her place. When we arrived she bounded up the steps before I was barely out of the car. I took out my cell and texted my mom to tell her I most likely wouldn't be home till later tonight because I would be at Alice's. I shut my phone as I walked through her front door only to see Alice hauling up a box full of god knows what from her basement.

"Alice what's in there?"

"Construction paper, markers, glitter, scissors, glue. You know, the essentials of poster making!" She said happily.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to type something basic up and print it out?" I raised an eyebrow as I followed her up the stairs to her room. The box seemed too big for her tiny frame, like an ant carrying a piece of food away from a picnic.

"Bella Bella Bella, where's the fun in that?"

I sighed but gave in. "Fine but no glitter and please lets only make a few." I begged. I didn't really want to do this but this was Alice's way of helping and it could have been worse so I was willing to go along with it.

"That's fine, I was thinking maybe half a dozen give or take a few. There's not many places that we can put them anyway."

I sighed in relief and joined her as she first spread a plain black sheet on the floor and then proceeded to unload the boxes contents. She drew a basic design and wording for the poster on a piece of paper and then instructed we were to each make four. She got up quickly and plugged in her iPod and soon the room was filled with Lady Gaga while we worked.

After about thirty minutes of working we were almost done and I decided to ask Alice about Edward's behaviour today. Hopefully she noticed and I wasn't crazy.

"Did you notice anything…strange about Edward today?"

She continued to draw on the page while she spoke, not looking up. "Strange…not really. A little quiet sure but he gets like that when he's thinking about something. He's the brooding type. Why, do you think something is wrong?" She asked finally stopping and looking up concerned.

"No it's just that he wouldn't stop staring at me today, it was a little weird." I bit my lip as I tried to count the number of times I either caught or felt his eyes on me. I gave up at twenty.

Alice giggled and nudged me. "Ummm Bells, isn't that a good thing? I know you're new to the whole dating game but we want hunky men staring at us."

I struggled how to put this in words. "It wasn't the fact he was staring it was how he was staring and what I saw in his eyes. He looked like he was trying to read me or something or to confirm something in his mind. It was really…intense I guess you could say. I couldn't make heads or tails of it."

"First of all intense is good. Intense is passion. As for the reading you part I honestly don't know. Edward has always been an over thinker and he probably just has something on his mind." She shrugged while she added the final touches to the poster.

"Like what?" Like she would know but I felt the need to say it out loud.

"Probably the two of you in compromising positions." She smiled deviously and my eyes bugged out of my head.

"ALICE!" I yelled, my face burning hot.

"I'm kidding Bella, well mostly he is a guy after all."

"Yet I only ever hear that stuff come out of your mouth and not them. Jasper has turned you into a complete nympho I swear." I swear her mind could be a complete cesspool of XXX thoughts sometimes.

She just shrugged, unapologetic, before returning to the topic at hand. "Maybe he was curious about something related to you and thinking about how to say it."

I nodded. "I guess that makes sense. He did insist on playing twenty questions but it was cut short by the bell. Maybe he wanted to ask me something." I rationalized. Then why didn't he ask me on his first question? Maybe he was building up to it, easing me into what he really wanted to know. Ugh I was going to drive mysefl insane thinking about what ifs and possibilities.

"Probably. Don't worry about it, Edward will snap out of it eventually and if he does want to ask you something he will. Like I said he over thinks everything so its probably the smallest little thing or detail."

"If you say so." I mumbled, feeling better but still curious. I just had a feeling there was more to his staring and actions today. I was torn between prying and letting it just happen on its own.

"I can see the wheels moving in your mind miss Swan so stop it. I'm sure it was nothing. However, speaking of Edward Cullen staring at you I think its time you gave me the details from yesterday since someone so rudely shut off their phone." She gave me the stink eye as she dragged me by the hand off the floor and onto her bed. Apparently this was home base for such conversations.

"Well…" I had already started to blush when Alice stopped me.

"Wait! We need ice cream." She dashed off the bed and out of the room before I could blink. I heard the freezer door shut and the clunking of spoons before her foot steps made their way up the stairs. When she walked back into the room she had a tub of chocolate ice cream with brownie chunks in it that made my mouth water. She jumped back onto the bed before handing me a spoon. We both dug in and I moaned in pleasure as it melted in my mouth.

"Not that I would ever reject this spoonful of heaven but isn't chocolate and girl talk reserved for when something bad happens? Shouldn't one of us be weeping while the other threatens all of man kind for existing?" I teased.

Alice took in another mouthful before answering. "Silly Bella, there is always a time for chocolate. We must always choose chocolate over men and do you know why?" She asked in a very parental like tone. However I could tell she was kidding but I was curious as to what her answer would be that I played along.

"No I don't." I said as I took in another mouthful

"Because chocolate can't get you pregnant yet it is oh so good." She emphasized her point by taking her largest chunk out of the tub yet and stuffing it all in her mouth. However a second later she winced in pain as she grabbed her head. "Ow ow ow brain freeze! I changed my mind I prefer Jasper." She whined while she waited for it to pass.

I laughed. "Try to take it easy Ali." I took a smaller more reasonable chunk while she shook her head a few times.

"I'm fine, I will not be deterred! So what happened yesterday? Spill now!" I must have paused for a second longer than she like because she snatched the ice cream and held it away while I tried to grab at it uselessly.

"Okay okay I'll tell you, no need to hold the ice cream hostage!" I whined. She returned it to its place between the two of us and I immediately dug in before speaking. "Really Alice nothing much happened, we talked, laughed, had pie and then went home." I told her.

She surveyed me for a moment and I felt like she could see right through to my soul. She took another spoonful, swallowing slowly before speaking. "There's more I can see it in your eyes. I don't care how small the detail, nothing is insignificant."

I thought back to yesterday, not hard since I spent most of last night reliving it, and tried to think of the small things that would interest Alice. "Well he insisted on paying and when I put up a fight he said I could pay next time. Does that count?" I didn't mention the way he said it, his voice low and husky but apparently it didn't matter because Alice nodded her head quickly.

"Definitely! I've never seen him go on more than one date with a girl and the fact that he wants to go out with you again says something. Not that I'm surprised, its about freaking time he got his head out of his ass, but its still good to hear." She said in one breath. My face fell a little.

"Dates? So he's gone out with a lot of girls in the past?" I tried to ask without trying to sound too jealous but I was. I shouldn't be surprised Edward was most definitely the hottest thing in the state of Washington if not all of North America. Okay I need another spoonful of ice cream.

"Smooth Bella real smooth. The answer is no well from what I know but I'm fairly sure my information is correct. I can count on one hand the number of girls he's gone out with and like I said there was never a repeat performance. For a while I thought he might be gay but it just turns out he's picky." She giggled a little. "God knows he's had offers."

I felt a sense of relief at that though her last sentence reminded me of the other little timbit of information she may like. "Now that you mention offers the waitress slipped him her number."

"With you right there? Seriously?" She said in shock.

"Ya I almost didn't believe it. I knew it wasn't technically a date or anything but she didn't know that yet she did it anyway." Ya I was still a bit bitter about that but who wouldn't be?

Alice shook her head. "Hoochie." She growled and I burst out laughing.

"That's what I said! Well actually I said that if he kept throwing away numbers that they would pile up to create mount hoochie." My smile was smug just as it was yesterday. With this information Alice perked right up.

"So he threw it away? Right in front of you?"

"Yup. He took it with him when we left but once we were outside and tossed it into a bush and guided me to the car." I decided she didn't need to know how my skin came alive at his touch.

"I gotta give the boy some credit, he did well." She nodded her head in agreement with herself.

"What, did you expect him to do something wrong?" I was always thought Edward was smooth and quick, ready for just about any situation yet Alice always seemed to think he wasn't. I know she has known him longer but nothing I've seen seems to back her up. Maybe I'm missing something?

"Yes and no. The boy is smart but oh so dumb."

"That makes no sense." Her mind really did work differently than everyone else.

"Oh it does. Once you've known Edward longer you'll see what I mean. Still, this is good news and you're on the right track. You'll be tongue wrestling in no time." She said proudly, like I was her only child going off to college.

I rolled my eyes. "Real classy Ali. It was one day and it wasn't even a date, maybe give it more time before you go making declarations like that. Besides he was still acting weird today, what if he's having second thoughts?" My insecurities flared up again and I ducked my head. I felt Alice's petite hand under my chin as she lifted my face to look me in the eye, her face fierce.

"You listen to me Isabella Swan and you listen good. You are a strong, independent, smart, beautiful, funny and sexy as hell woman. Any man would kill to be with you so stop doubting yourself before I kick your ass. Hell if I swung the other way and wasn't in love with Jasper I would totally date you." She smiled widely and I felt a single tear run down my cheek and a laugh escape my lips.

"Thanks Alice." I said sincerely before smiling coyly. "And I would totally date you too." I joked. She laughed good and loud before giving me a hug.

"Damn straight! Okay now that we've established that we're both hotness personified lets go watch a movie shall we? I think tonight calls for a little Gerard Butler and the rest of those sexy Spartans!" She bounced off the bed and grabbed my hand as she dragged me downstairs and to her basement to watch 300.

For much of the evening my mind was occupied and I felt myself able to relax for the first time that day, my notebook always there at the back of my mind but not driving me to the brink of insanity. As I looked over at my best friend I thanked god for the gift that was Alice Brandon.

-*-Next Day-*-

I searched my room again when I woke up this morning but it didn't turn up anything. I wasn't surprised since I was 99% sure it wasn't in there but I felt like I had to do something. The spell that Alice had me under last night had worn off and the worry had returned. I decided that perhaps tonight I would ask if my parents had seen it. We had barely spoken the last few days, the room always erupting in the most awkward of silences but I was running out of ideas.

Edward wasn't in first period and I was getting worried until he showed up for lunch. When we asked where he was he said he had overslept but for some reason I didn't believe him. He was quiet all through lunch, barely speaking. Actually he looked like he was preparing to go off to war and if I thought he was thinking deeply yesterday that was nothing like today. I could almost see the battle going on in his head, like he was deciding on what to do and fate hung in the balance. He didn't stare as often, actually he seemed to avoid looking at me and was fidgeting constantly. Whatever was on his mind was big and suddenly Alice's reassurances didn't seem so reassuring anymore.

We finished that stupid movie in biology and the teacher surprised us with a little pop quiz testing us on what we watched. I thought I did fairly well but I could see many people groaning and scratching their heads since they didn't bother to pay attention. While I walked with Edward to gym he didn't say anything and still seemed lost in his own world. Gym was uneventful and I managed not to injure any of the student body today but that may have been because I stood in the corner retrieving run away basketballs rather than playing.

Once the final bell had finally rung I rushed to the girl's locker room to peel off the disgusting clothes that were currently sticking to me. I showered with lightning quick speed, knowing I would take a proper one later tonight, before slipping on my regular clothes and pulling my hair up into a messy pony tail. I grabbed my stuff and left the room and gossiping girls behind me.

As I walked out into the hall I couldn't help but scan the students hoping that Edward would have come out around the same time or perhaps would be waiting for me but I was disappointed. Sighing I went to the building directly next to the gym so I could get to my locker. Almost by instinct I searched the locker once again for any sign of my notebook but saw nothing. Resigning myself to the fact that I may never see it again I shut my locker forcefully before slinging my bag over my shoulder.

I heard Alice before I felt her "Hey Bella!" She threw her arms around my neck for a quick hug that I returned though not with much enthusiasm. When she pulled back I tried to smile but all I could do was manage a grimace. Her smiled faded as she surveyed me before a look of sympathetic understanding appeared on her face. "Still no sign of it huh?" she asked quietly.

"No." My voice was dejected.

She rubbed my arm soothingly before linking our arms together and dragging me towards the exit. "If you can't find it by tomorrow we'll put those posters up. I'm sure it will turn up Bells, I have a good feeling about this."

"I believe you Alice." I tried put a little enthusiasm and cheer into my words but once glance at her face and I could tell that she knew I didn't mean it. It wasn't that I didn't believe that she thought this, my faith in her would never waver, I just wasn't as optimistic in my view point as her.

She laughed. "Actually you don't but you'll see. Anyways I'm going to go meet up with Jasper unless you would like to talk or hang out? You know I'm here for you right Bella?" I saw in her eyes she meant every word. She didn't tease me for being so upset about loosing my notebook like others would, she could see it held a great deal of importance to me and that I needed a little support and friendship. All I had to do was ask and she would be by my side as long as I needed her to be.

I finally smiled a true smile. "Thanks Alice but I'll be okay really. Maybe you're right and it will turn up." I hoped that would be the case.

She surveyed me for a moment before nodding her head. "Well if you're sure but remember I'm just a phone call a way kay?"

"I know and thanks. Now don't keep your boy toy waiting." I teased as I nodded my head in Jasper's direction as he leaned against his car.

Alice scoffed. "Pft, boy toy? He's all man, trust me." She sent me a wink before giggling while I groaned.

"T.M.I Alice T.M.I!" I shuddered dramatically while trying to hold back my laugh. She kissed me on the cheek, made me promise to call her if I needed anything and then danced over to Jasper's side. They both waved at me and I returned it before they got into his car and left.

I shook my head and started walking again but towards my car. My mind was so distracted that I didn't see the body leaning against my car until I almost walked into it. When I finally did notice I lifted my head and was met with a familiar pair of green eyes. Edward was leaning against the driver's side door and was once again looking at me differently, his stare penetrating though it was no longer curious and unsure but resolved and determined.

"Hey Edward, what's up?" I asked pleasantly, my heart beating just a little bit faster as it always did in his presence. At first he didn't say anything and I was about to ask why when his hand, which had previously been hidden, moved out towards me. When I glanced at it I felt my eyes go wide as I saw a familiar black and white floral design. "My notebook!" I yelled happily, snatching it out of his hand and hugging it to my chest as if it was my child. I glanced up at him smiling in relief. "Where did you find it? I've been looking everywhere."

"You ummm left it in my car on Monday. It must have fallen out because it was under the passenger seat." He said nervously, his voice slightly shaky though I didn't give it much thought. My only thought was that it was back and surprise that Alice was right. When will I ever learn, never doubt Alice.

I slapped my forehead with my palm at this oversight. "Oh my god I can't believe I didn't even think to look there. Ugh I'm such a moron!" I couldn't help but snicker at my stupidity, especially now that I had it back in my hands. "I take it you just found it now huh."

He looked down at this question as if he couldn't meet my eyes and this confused me. "No, I didn't find just find it."

"But when…" I cut off as I surveyed his face closely. Edward looked guilty and ashamed, like a boy who was caught stealing from the cookie jar and I was immediately suspicious. My grip tightened on my book and I felt my cheeks redden but this time in anger. "Edward…when did you find this." I said very slowly.

"Bella…"

I cut him off. "When?" I repeated.

He sighed in defeat. "Not long after you left my car on Monday." He admitted, still not looking me in the eyes.

"Since Monday! You have had this since Monday and you didn't tell me! Why? I've been going crazy looking for it. Was this some kind of joke?" I said angrily and suddenly it hit me and my nostrils flared. "Did you read it?"

He shifted from one foot to another, his hands now in his pockets. I heard him mumble something but this only served to inflare my anger further. "I said. Did. You. Read. It?" My voice was scary calm and I think this is what caused Edward to finally look up.

"Yes." He said quietly.

I lost it. "How could you! You know I didn't want to show you or anybody else, you knew this was private yet you read it anyway. What gave you the right huh? Do you make a habit out of this, going through other people's privacy?" I yelled at him, as I took a step forward.

"I know what I did was wrong Bella and I am really sorry. Please, I know it may be hard but please listen to me I need to talk to you about something. It's important." He said desperately, his eyes pleading and begging but I was too far gone in my anger to care. He crossed a line, again, and I wasn't going to take it.

"I don't have anything to say to you nor am I interested in what you have to say. I trusted you Edward and you betrayed that! Just get out of the way and leave me alone." I spat at him as I went to open my door.

"Bella please don't go." He grabbed my arm lightly, trying to pull me back. I spun quickly and my hand connected quickly and efficiently with his left cheek, the slap vibrating across the now empty lot as his head whipped to the side. His hand automatically flew to the spot as his eyes widened like he couldn't believe I actually struck him. Hell I couldn't really believe it. It could have been worse, I had punched Tyler on halloween and I wasn't even angry at him.

My voice came out almost as a hiss. "Do not touch me." I opened my door and slip into the seat before slamming it shut again. I placed my book on the seat next to me before starting the engine. I pulled out of there quickly and when I glanced in the rear view mirror I saw Edward standing there looking in my direction with a heartbroken expression. Part of me, the Bella that admits she was falling for him, wanted to go back and hear him out, do anything to wipe that expression off his face. However, the Bella that guarded this book fiercely for it was apart of herself that she only shared with those she chose, felt betrayed and it was her that kept me driving away until I could no longer see him.

For once I was actually going above the speed limit as I gripped my steering wheel tightly not helping the slight stinging sensation in my right palm. I made it to my house in record timing and turned sharply into my drive way, the tires squealing slightly. I grabbed my bag and note book, not allowing it to leave my site again, and stomped up the small path way and up the stairs to my front door. I opened the door before walking in and slamming it behind me, the glass shaking slightly.

I was eternally grateful for my parent's busy schedules since they would probably question me on what happen given the amount of noise I made as I stalked around and the house. My feet couldn't stand still and I was visibly agitated while I walked from room to room blindly. I honestly had no idea what I was doing I just needed to walk without purpose and without thinking for a minute so just watching my feet move. I wanted to get out of the house, maybe go to the meadow but I didn't want to risk running into Edward. Finally I abandoned my living room and ran up the stairs, grateful I didn't trip for once.

I walked into my room still fuming at the nerve of Edward looking in my notebook. I thought we were, perhaps, becoming friends and maybe something more and that I could trust him but all that flew out the window. Why? Why did this have to happen now when things were finally starting to improve? I started pacing a little, my notebook in a death grip in my hand while I grumbled obscenities to myself.

I grabbed my phone and texted my mother asking if she could bring home dinner tonight because I had lots of homework to do. It was a lie, I just wasn't in the mood and I felt sharp and hot objects where probably not the best things to be around at the moment since I couldn't concentrate. She texted me back a minute later agreeing to bring home pizza so with that out of the way I tossed the phone onto my side table and started pasing again.

I heard his car pull in and the door shut. My curtains were closed and I glared daggers at them, hoping he could feel them all over his body from across the lawn. "Stupid, nosey, egotistical, prying, disrespectful asshole!" I muttered darkly before kicking the frame of my bed. "Crap!" I yelled as I began hopping, trying to hold my toes which were throbbing painfully. While most would just blame me for that act of stupidity I decided it was easier blaming Edward. That's right, Edward Cullen hurt my foot because it was his fault that I was mad and consequently kicked my bed. Works for me!

It wasn't until I licked my dry lips and I tasted the salty water that pooled there that I realized I was crying. Where before all I felt was anger I was now slowly starting feeling the sting of betrayal and the pain of what could have been if this didn't happen. I was certain that in time I would have shown him myself and that is also what made this so painful. If he had only waited, earned my trust and allowed me the time I needed I would have shown him this part of me without a doubt. But he didn't. He went behind my back and did it when I wasn't ready, breaking my faith and I hated it!

I fell onto my bed and buried my face into my pillow while I cried and cursed. I was feeling such an onslaught of emotions that I admit I was having trouble dealing, not deciding which feeling was most dominate. It had to be a tie between anger and sadness, both that can be crippling on their own so together it was nothing short of horrible. I shot up and grabbed my pillow before chucking it across the room, knocking a few items off my dresser but nothing breakable.

I glanced over and saw my laptop on my desk and I immediately went over and sat in the chair, turning it on. I needed to speak with EC, I could only hope he was online. I knew Alice would come over if I called her but I needed EC, he truly knew how this would make me feel because he simply new more. I waited impatiently for my computer to boot up and while it was only a few minutes it felt like an eternity.

Finally I was able to open up my msn and signed on. I think I started crying again but this time in relief when I saw his name there. I clicked on his username quickly and was typing within seconds.

Bclassics: Oh thank god you're on, I need to talk!

ECmusic: Are you alright?

Bclassics: Not really. I'm pissed off and hurt. I wiped my face trying to remove the tear streaks there. I hated crying and I worked to get the tears to stop.

ECmusic: Pretty Boy I'm guessing.

Bclassics: You guessed right. Somehow my notebook fell out of my back pack when I was in his car on Monday but I didn't realize. I've been going INSANE trying to find it, you know how important it is to me and I was convinced I had lost it forever. That's when he comes up to me today with it in his hand and admits that he has not only had it all this time and didn't tell me but he read it! I hit the enter key violently, resisting the urge to drop the f bomb after every word.

ECmusic: Well he was most definitely a stupid ass for doing that

Bclassics: Stupid ass doesn't even begin to cover it. You still got that shovel?

ECmusic: What did he say when you confronted him? And if you want me to I'll gladly help you kick his butt for hurting you.

Bclassics: That he was sorry but saying 'I'm sorry' that isn't enough. This wasn't some stupid prank or accident. He knowingly did this!

ECmusic: Did he explain why he did it? Not that there's any excuse but idk maybe he had a valid reason or thought he did. Once again not defending him just asking.

Bclassics: No I didn't exactly stick around after that. I didn't want to hear what he had to say.

ECmusic: Why not?

Bclassics: What do you mean why not? There's no excuse for what he did!

ECmusic: So you ran away? My eyes widened and then narrowed at the computer screen. What is his problem? I hit the keys forcefully when I replied.

Bclassics: I didn't 'run away' I merely removed myself from a situation. It would have ended badly if I stayed.

ECmusic: Maybe it would have maybe it wouldn't but you never know. Why were you so afraid to hear what he had to say?

Bclassics: I wasn't!

ECmusic: Then why did you run?

Bclassics: God I didn't run! I shouldn't have to be around him and listen to him if I don't want to, it's a free country! Jeez is Pretty Boy paying you for all this PR? You two buddies now? I was feeling hurt again but this time by EC. Why was he acting like this?

ECmusic: B…I know you better than you know yourself and I care for you deeply you must know that. When things get tough you run and avoid. Its your way of dealing but its hurt you in the past and its going to hurt you again. Don't lie to me, why did you really run? I know you can hold your own in a verbal fight so its it couldn't have been that. Tell the truth.

I stared at the screen in shock as I read over his words not knowing what to say. Did I run away rather than deal? My first instinct was to say no that he couldn't have had a reasonable excuse. Yet that nagging voice came back and for once she wasn't taunting but gentle. 'You weren't so much angry as hurt Bella because its was Edward.'

Bclassics: It hurt EC. If it had been some stranger I would have ripped them a new one but it wasn't a stranger it was him. I knew if I stayed and listened I may have given in like always but I didn't want to. What he did was wrong and I couldn't look him in the face and stay there anymore.

I wiped away the single tear that ran down my cheek as I pressed send. EC didn't respond for about a minute and I was getting worried when I saw that he was typing. His next question surprised me.

ECmusic: B…before today how did you feel about him?

Bclassics: Who? Though I knew who he was talking about. The voice taunted me this time. 'You're avoiding again Bella!' Ugh leave me alone unless you have something nice to say. Okay maybe I shouldn't argue with myself, it may not be the sanest thing to do. Luckily my computer chimed with his response.

ECmusic: Pretty Boy

Bclassics: Idk, why are you asking? Why does it matter?

ECmusic: Why are you avoiding the question? Your reactions show that it clearly matters.

Bclassics: I'm not avoiding I just don't see the reasoning behind your inquisition.

ECmusic: Humor me…please for me **puppy dog face**

Bclassics: You're not playing fair when you beg.

ECmusic: ;) I never said I did.

Bclassics: Well he annoyed the hell out of me for a while. Couldn't stand him and found him an inconsiderate cocky ass but…

ECmusic: but what?

Bclassics: Well around others he always seemed like a great guy and I often found him funny, though I didn't show it often and well recently he's been treating me differently, like a friend. I was really starting to like him but then of course he goes and shows I was right all along making me feel like an idiot. God I'm so stupid and now I can't stop crying! God I hate crying :( I had no idea why I wrote that but sometimes it felt more like talking face to face rather than through a computer.

ECmusic: Oh B please don't cry, it's not worth it! Never say that, you're not stupid and I know he likes you B, a lot…

Bclassics: How could you possibly know that? You haven't even met him. And even if he did he has a funny way of showing it. There was a long break where he wasn't typing anything. It would see he was writing and then cut off, showing he deleted and stopped only to restart and delete all over again. Normally EC calmed me, made me feel better but he seemed to only be aggravating me more. Finally he messaged me back and it caught me off guard for a second.

ECmusic: Can you do me a favour…?

Bclassics: What?

ECmusic: Go to your window and open your curtains. Huh?

Bclassics: Huh? Why? And how did he know my curtains were closed? I rarely opened them anymore but I never told him that, nor did I ever tell him what happened that night after I met Edward. I was way too embarrassed to even tell him, especially after Edward called me out on it.

ECmusic: Because

Bclassics: But why? And maybe I don't want to…

ECmusic: You are sooo stubborn you know that? That's why its called a favour. Please B. Trust me, you'll understand when you do.

Bclassics: Fine but when I come back I expect an explanation.

He didn't reply so I shook my head and took a deep breath. I was still sitting in my chair, eyeing my curtains trying to figure out why he wanted me to look outside. Was he trying to trick me like I did so many weeks ago? I hope not because frankly I wasn't in the mood. Sighing I stood up from my computer chair and walked over to the window. I gripped the curtains tightly before pushing them open.

At first I didn't see anything as I looked below and around my property but then movement caught my eye. I looked up and my gaze was met by Edwards who stood in front of his own window with wide eyes. He smiled sheepishly but I just glared, still pissed off not just at him but from the obvious trick EC just played. He immediately turned around and bent over his desk on what looked like his laptop to type something.

Suddenly a 'ding' sound came from behind me to indicate I had another message. Tearing my eyes away from Edward's room I turned back to my computer only to have my heart stop at the message.

ECmusic: Hi Bella **waves**

How…how did he know my name? And what does he mean by waves? I ran back to the window to search around my house, panicking, when I saw Edward was back at his window…waving. I stared in shock, my eyes wide and my body completely still though my heart was currently running a marathon.

He looked concerned when I didn't move after a minute, my mind and body completely shutting down. He returned to his computer and typed again really quickly. I jumped when I heard the bing and I finally moved my feet away from the window to look at my desk

ECmusic: You're making me nervous just standing there, say something!

I don't think I realized I was typing and pressing send until it was too late.

Bclassics: I think I need to go, I'm hallucinating.

I glanced at my window to see him read and shake his head before typing

ECmusic: You're not hallucinating. It is me Edward.

"What…how…impossible…EC…Edward…no…yes…GAH!" I couldn't make anything coherent come out of my mouth as I stared wide eyed at Edward. This was a dream or nightmare or purgatory or something. No I finally lost my mind that's it. I never found my notebook and I snapped. I was probably in a padded cell somewhere curled into a ball in the corner muttering nonsense about Edward and EC being the same person.

I shut my curtains and sank into my chair my mind oddly blank yet chaotic at the same time. It could have only been a few seconds since I closed my curtains when my computer alerted me to another message.

ECmusic: Bella…please talk to me. I know this is a shock, when I read your notebook, which I am REALLY SORRY about btw, it took me a while to believe it myself.

ECmusic: Bella? B? Are you there?

I didn't know what else to do so with shaking hands I logged off and closed my computer before putting my face and my hands. It was just too much…

**Hides under my computer desk** Okay don't hurt me for how I ended it. I know many just want her to know and run into his arms but it doesn't work like that. I'm not going to drag the tension out I promise! But I would like to have some realism in there even though their situation does defy normal or possible lol. Besides what he did was a jerky thing to do so she has a right to be mad, I would be.

Oh and that story about Jessica asking her teacher if she spoke Australian? Ya that actually happened in my Grade 11 Canadian Law class with a student. And the band song playing on the speakers when she was late? Ya that's what my school did. I only started hating it because I had to listen to it in the morning and then PLAY it in band in class and then play is again after school in practice. This was in Gr.10 lol. You get sick of it. Its called Midway March if anyone is curious lol. okay enough rambling about my high school days lol

Soooo you know what to do. REVIEW so I know whether you hate me or still love me. Chocolate brownie ice cream cones for those who review! I'll even throw in some sprinkles.