The next thing I saw was the big blue-gray sky above me.
Huh. I must have died on Coruscant.
I was lying on my back. A stick was poking my head.
Suddenly an ugly little wrinkly bat looking thing came into view. It had eyes the size of baseballs and was wearing a dirty pillowcase.
"Am I on acid?" I asked it.
"What is acid?" It asked.
"Never mind," I said, getting up. "If I were I think the sky would be a ballerina or something. Where am I?"
"You are on Malfoy Manor." The thing said. "I'm Dobby. I do all the cleaning here."
"Are the Malfoys nice people?"
"No."
"Alright. How do I get out of here?"
Dobby shook its head. "I can't let you leave."
"That's not as dramatic sounding when you've been inhaling helium."
"What's helium?"
I sighed and started to walk off.
Suddenly, a little blond boy came running up, squealing, "I did it! I did it!" In an excited voice. He couldn't have been more than eight, butI recognized him. He had super pale skin like he was on the computer all day and the same pointy
face.
I pointed at him and screamed "You're the little shit that scared me off the stairs!"
The boy saw me and burst into tears.
Dobby checked his watch (he had a watch, by the way) and said "Mr. Malfoy should be home now. I'd better take you to him now."
"Where was he before?" I asked.
"Out learning traditional Russian dancing with the rest of the Death Eaters." Dobby answered.
"Well, he doesn't know i'm here." I said. "Could you let me go, please? You wouldn't get in trouble for it."
"Dobby gets in trouble for everything." Dobby replied. "Sometimes he even has to punish himself as a reminder."
We reached the house before I could comment on the fact that that sounded an awful lot like a kink and walked inside the huge doors.
There was a sudden screech, and a ghost fell from the ceiling. I yelped and jumped back.
The ghost pushed itself to its feet.
"What the hell is that?" I cried.
The ghost sniffed haughtily. "For your information, I am the ghost of Sir Marvolo!"
"Who?"
The ghost sniffed again, and I was tempted to ask if it needed a tissue. The clothes he was wearing were distracting. They were puffy and bulbous and striped and spotted- nothing about them made sense.
"Never mind. I'll just go take care of that diary since nobody cares about me…"
The ghost walked through a wall.
Then the door opened behind me, and a ton of people in black robes came into the hall.
The leader of the group spoke. "Who the hell is this bitch?"
"Dobby found her, sir, lying among the-"
"Is she a muggle?"
Dobby blinked. "I believe so, sir."
The guy clapped. "Oh! Wonderful! Tell me, who is the current leader of Prussia? We've been kept out of the loop for a very long time."
"Um, Prussia doesn't really exist anymore." I answered.
"What?" The guy shouted. "Then you must die!"
"Why do I have to die because Prussia doesn't exist anymore?" I cried.
"My great-great-aunt lived in Prussia!" The guy cried.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, music started playing in an upbeat, up-and-down way, and everyone started to dance. It was like he beginning of a musical.
"You see when I was a young boy, when I was a young lad, my great aunt lived in Prussia and it was such a drag…"
Whoever was behind the mask sang terribly.
Then, the little pale boy came in shouting "father!"
The music screeched to a halt. "What do you want, Draco?" The main masked guy asked.
"There's a strange man in my room who says he's a dark lord, but that can't be because he's a rabbit!" Draco cried.
"Shit." I said. "Well, it's been nice meeting you guys, but I really have to go. Preferably without dying."
"That's no fun. We love killing people!" The robed people muttered darkly.
"It's really the least you could do, dying for us." The main black-robed person said. "Honestly."
I turned and ran up the stairs as seven voices cried "Avarda Kedarva-"
There was a lot of green light, and suddenly I was lying on a table in a dark underground room.
Sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Please review!