He speaks and speaks without end. The words flow out of his mouth as he blurts out so much about him and his world, but I don't hear anything. I think of his lips. I see them as they form the words. I want to see them, that is. He tells me about his family, I hear: ''You've let me kiss you.'' He tells me about his friends, I hear: ''You kissed me back.'' I've heard it before and I couldn't exactly deal with it back when it happened. I can't deal with it now either. And then, he tells me about him and that he's not wasted this time... finally, but I can only hear: ''You kissed me.'' Again, and again, just like a mantra. No. Please. Don't tell me about it. I know already. Just let me forget what I did. I hang up. He calls back. I ignore his call and... Fuck! He's not having any of it.

''Don't cha wish your boyfriend was hot like me! Don't cha wish your boyfriend was a freak like me!'' is what goes out instead of my usual and boring ''Driiiing!'' ringtone and I know I shouldn't have let him add his own number on my cell phone before he left. Look what he did, this little shit!

Do not 'Don't cha wish' me, Eren Jaeger... I'd rather not think about the perspective.

And... Yeah, it's definitely his stupid voice I hear over the music singing badly and making the lyrics suit his gender. Oh god. And then, when I finally get a hold on the phone, I realize... No, this isn't what happened at all. Nothing happened. Eren and I, we haven't talked since that shitty excuse for a kiss I gave him.

On my phone, it's not his name or his picture. It's Petra's and my mood does a 180... Not for the best, I can tell you that. I could blame it on being awakened by some stupid ringtone, thanks to Eren Jaeger's stupid joke, but that's not it. The ringtone had my insides swirling to torment me a little bit, that's all. Waking up was fine. It was a nap. I wasn't deeply asleep... was I? It was just a nap. I wouldn't have minded if it was reality... If I was just sleeping in my library where Eren Jaeger slept before, ok, but the phone call was him.

And even then, I wouldn't have known what to say. I'm sorry I kissed you? I'm sorry it was just a kid kiss, can we do it again? Can I remove your pants while we're at it? I'll remove mine too. The truth is, I didn't mind as much as I acted like when you touched me. No. No. And No.

I sigh loudly... exasperated.

''What is it?''

''O-oh! Sounds like someone is in a bad mood.'' She says and this is the best example of our whole life together: Petra in a good mood and Levi in a bad mood. It was our daily life. It still is, I guess. None of us really changed after all.

''I'm just tired.''

That, I am. It's one more thing to add to the list of things I'd rather not think about; not being able to sleep. That's right. I'm not sleeping well. I could lie and tell you it started before Eren came here. I could. I won't. It's true, I didn't sleep well when he was there. Rather, I was sleeping well... it's just that falling asleep was hard. Once I was asleep though, it was good. Now, there's almost no moment where I'm asleep. It's just... everything's off.

''Does it have something to do with the person you're seeing?'' she asks playfully like a little child who just got her hand into something new... and I just brutally feel more awake than I've been since the phone call started.

''W-What? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you sure you called the right number?''

''Don't be shy! You met someone, that's great!'' she goes on and on about it while I try to recall something, anything, that could have let her know I had something new in my life. No. Just no. There is nothing. I don't even have someone in my life!

''Petra, this must be a misunderstanding... I am not seeing anyone.''

''Oh...'' It seems like the fun is ending. It seems like she's done acting like a child. Down to earth!... or not: ''Are you sure?''

''Fuck yes, I'm sure. I like to think I know what I'm doing with my dick.''

''I didn't say you had sex... yet, but Mikasa told me she found underwear in the laundry basket when she picked it up to continue the laundry where you left it, so maybe you did.''

I repeat; stoic and unshaken. ''I am not seeing anyone, I have no clue what you're talking about.''

I hope this is convincing, because I am actually freaking out right now. Eren Fucking Jaeger, I knew this would happen! And I do not want to think about the possibility of having sex with the brat... well, I do, but this isn't the time.

''R-Right... and your favorite neighbour saw someone else hiding to kiss like a little boy?''

That Fucking Old Hag and her useless gossip! She likes Petra a little bit too much; I always knew that much, but now... Now she took it to another level! Does she not have better things to do than look out her window to look at me or what? Damn it.

''I guess it could have been a teenager considering my height...'' I say it and I try to make it sound funny, but it isn't really funny. Not at all... and she's not going to swallow that. ''O.K. Fine. I had someone over and it doesn't seem like he'll come over again, are you happy now?''

''Eh, but why... '' She starts and I know what's to come. She's asking me why and it's alright. I know she doesn't mean any harm. She's just curious. She cares and it's alright, but it's not good timing right now. Absolutely not. I don't want to think about this. I want to erase it from my mind.

The more reasons to do so since he won't even call me... and he should. Not me.

''I do not want to talk about it.'' I shouldn't be harsh, but I insist on every word and I am harsh when I tell her that. End of the conversation, now go talk to your daughter. We'll talk some other time... and definitely not about Eren Jaeger.

-X-

I walk. Slow. It feels like each step takes too much energy. I'm tired and the coffee in my hand doesn't seem to help. And Fuck, I don't feel like dealing with this meeting with Hanji to know the news either. It's been three days already. I think I've been able to keep up. I mean... I've been efficient. I've been trying to get into the Replayer completely. Forget Rivaille and his damn Eren... just drown in Levi and his Eren instead. Hell, I am still glad there wasn't much going on between Levi and Eren, because I'm not sure I could handle it. It was a good thing that Levi was in the city seeing Erwin and discussing what happened while Eren was away. Far enough, so I didn't have to see him and just had to deal with Levi thinking about him. That was more than enough to deal with, so, when I open the door to the room and hear my name called out by a voice I heard roll my name on his tongue in ways I'd rather not describe; I don't want to deal with it either.

''What are you doing here? ...Erwin.''

''Just helping out! We should go eat lunch together with Mike later!''

''...Yeah, Yeah.'' That's how I get myself invited as a third wheel for lunch. There isn't much interest though. I'd rather go back home and sleep a little more... I don't even feel like going into the Replayer right now. I know what's coming: Eren. Levi will meet with his new squad and that means, meeting with Eren... and I know how this reunion is going to go. I should just skip this part of the Replayer.

Yeah. That.

I sit right next to Erwin and, like every fucking meeting we've had so far, I don't feel like being there.

-X-

''Welcome back, Rivaille!'' Is Hanji's greeting upon entering the room and, knowing she's always the last one, I take a look around at the... almost empty room. It's just us; Erwin, Mike, Hanji and I. What meeting is that? I was expecting a meeting where I can just erase myself in the corner and listen whenever it seems like I could use the information... which is usually something about Eren.

No. Today, it's just us. ''What's up? Where's everyone?''

Hanji smiles. She is literally beaming with joy and it makes me kind of blind... in a not pleasant way. To be honest, it's kind of creepy because she doesn't seems to be happy for the usual reasons. Ever.

''No need to gather everyone else, they've been informed while you were away.'' So why does she pause before going on with the rest? Probably just to bring some kind of suspense into this whole thing... which doesn't work on me, by the way. Better luck next time.

''...Just spill it already.''

''As you can see, we had Erwin helping out a little bit recently and we were able to confirm some information regarding titans... and that is making our goal, my goal, more clear!... We were able to confirm the presence of humans inside Titans. Just like Eren creates his own Titan out of nowhere, it is probably the same with the other Titans as well.''

Probably. I had this conversation with Erwin just a while ago in the Replayer, actually. They've been killing Titans the exact way they would be killing Eren's Titan if it was needed, assuming it would work. It is true that I thought about it before, but it merely went through my mind for an instant. That is all. I thought about how Levi would kill Eren if he needed to... did he actually know how to kill them? And he just assumed. He assumed that was the way to kill Eren on instinct, because that was how he killed every other Titan. At that point, it did hit me.

But it was gone right away.

I didn't actually consider it... and Levi didn't want to consider it either, that's probably why he didn't think about it before Erwin brought it up. It was possible. Actually, it was very possible. Now that Hanji was confirming it; I had no difficulties trusting her on that. It made perfect sense. There was nothing else to it. Humans were inside the Titans, but... now, all that remained was: Why could they do this and we couldn't? What was the difference between them... and the rest of us?

Hell, they were probably in such great numbers too!

''How is it possible for some humans to turn into Titans while others can't, and why would they eat us? Assuming they all live outside the walls... how is it possible for Eren? And there are all the Titans inside the walls too... We don't even know if some of them are hiding among us.''

God. I could go on and on forever.

It brings so much to my mind. If Eren is like them, why do they want him? Is it because he is strong? No. He's not that strong really. He's nothing special, is he? So far, except from the Female Titan and her 'friends', I had always assumed Titans didn't think like us... I didn't need to find a pattern behind their actions. Now though. Now that I know, they probably have one. They are human. They must have some kind of organization.

Some kind of goal... with Eren... with us.

''That's why we need Eren.'' she says and it brings me back. To the sentence. To the name. I think of a boy I know in this world. I see him suddenly in my head and... What? I find myself getting a lot more aware of what's going on suddenly. I ask myself if she knows and I worry for some reason. Because I am not sure what she wants with him. Because I remember Hanji being pushy about doing experiments on Eren. Because I want to protect Eren. Because I remember Armin's words... or maybe I am just being selfish.

''... What do you mean, you need Eren?''

If they don't know about this Eren, I am not the one that is going to tell them.

''Well, it'd be great if we had the real Eren here to tell us about it, or show us through the Replayer, but we'll have to do with the one inside the Replayer and wait for him to reveal his secret on how to become a Titan.''

And I can't help but fail to understand: why does it even matter? Why is she so excited about this? It's like she can't sit still now that she knows all this and I don't understand. I just don't... and she's not even asking herself the questions I am asking myself. All she cares about is 'How Eren Jaeger became a Titan in the first place.'

-X-

Mike was the one to get a chair from another table to join us, but I still feel like a third wheel. No. I am a third wheel. I'm the extra at the table. The little extra you get that's not too bad, but not very useful either. In this setting, it's not too bad. I've seen worse. I'm used to it, I guess, but I still find myself eating at a much faster pace than usual to go back upstairs to my small office... If I can even call it an office. It's not that they make me feel like a third wheel. If anything, it's quite the opposite; apart from their lunch, you wouldn't know they're dating. But I do know and somehow it makes me think of all the times I had lunch with Eren Jaeger in my shitty apartment over the last two weeks. It was nothing special, but... Now that I think about it, I kind of miss it. A little.

I remember green eyes looking at me through his glass of juice. I remember his lips curving into a smile for the simplest things... even while eating. Now, in front of me, I see Erwin doing the same kind of bullshit with Mike and it makes me feel weird... and I don't really feel like describing it.

Let alone think about it... so I find myself saying the only thing I can think of that has nothing to do with Eren Jaeger: ''Hey, Erwin... ever since you went into the Replayer, do you remember anything?''

Okay, I lied. It still has to do with Eren Jaeger... and me. And us.

''Remember? ...Remember what?''

''I don't know... like something about the past. Anything.'' Don't tell me it's just me!

''Oh... No. Why would I remember anything?'' Right. I know that already, but why am I remembering things then? It'd be easier if I wasn't remembering anything... and why does Eren remember it even better than me anyway? He's not even going in the Replayer, that little shit!

To me, this conversation ends right here with that. If Erwin doesn't remember and if he asks me why; this isn't going to go anywhere.

This Erwin isn't the old Erwin... at all. The difference between this world and the other one made Erwin a different man. Probably a happier man too. Much happier. It might be better this way. He leaves the conversation as it is. He doesn't mind it. He doesn't ask himself why I asked that question. He goes back to his perfect lunch of leftovers from yesterday's meal like we were just talking about the weather and I want to do it too. I do. I can't... I see Mike's eyes on me.

I can almost see the wheels turning in his head when he speaks. ''Do you remember, Rivaille?''

I don't like how he says my name. I feel like the R rolls on his tongue for too long... and it doesn't have anything to do with the way Eren says it at all. Sure, it involves shivering in both scenarios, but... It's in a completely different way, mind you. This, This one isn't good. It feels like he creeps under my skin... or tries to. It feels like he knows already and I don't want him to know, so I say the only thing I can say to make him believe otherwise: ''Not really. It's just confusing with the Replayer, but it's not like I remember Levi or anything.''

I honestly say so. I honestly lie to his face... and I don't feel bad for it. I'm not sure I remember, but it sure feels like remembering when the Past overlaps with the Present sometimes. I'm just not sure I can call it that when I compare it to the way Eren does it all... like it was him all along.

It wasn't me... but it's me, now.

-X-

Authenticating… Replayer: Rivaille, Password: Heychou

Success!

Opening Session no. 07-10

Resuming Memory

He sees him first and he's glad it really is Eren he sees walking with a broom in his hand towards the stable like he's ready for more cleaning. Eren and Cleaning, it's already a winning situation. It wouldn't be the same if it was anyone else and it makes the whole night of traveling without a stop worth it. He couldn't wait. He left at impossible hours because he wanted to get there as soon as possible... if Eren is there... and alone; it's just even better.

So, of course, when he enters the stable behind the boy, it just... sort of happens.

It starts with Levi, it truly starts with his name and it ends with Levi's name when the boy comes undone. It's on Eren's lips, in his mouth. It's the only thing. Levi. That and the way his voice breaks under Levi's mouth. The sound of the broom falling to the ground is lost under the sound of his voice calling Levi once he sees him at the door. There's a 'Toc' when Levi's head hits the wall a little bit rougher than he expected it to and it marks the end of any possible conversation... and the start of everything else. There's panting. There's... Levi, again, of course. There's a broken voice trying to say things that don't make any sense. Or don't matter. It seems like everything happens under the other's fingertips. It's like Levi's whole being lives at the tips of his fingertips running over the tanned skin... and Fuck this stupid as fuck setting they're in. He doesn't know when he started to ignore the dirtiness of it all. He just knows he's pinning Eren to the ground anyway and kissing him until neither of them can breathe anymore... and then, he gets to hear more of the wonderful panting coming out of the boy under him.

There's a lot of kissing, that's one thing. There are a lot of moans... because it seems like Eren is quite vocal, which isn't a bad thing, except in this setting. There's all the rustle of clothes being taken away if possible... and, in the end, Levi finds himself more naked than Eren. How did this happen? He thought he was the one leading this... Guess not. Sure, he's straddling Eren Jaeger... but without his pants on anymore and his shirt almost completely unbuttoned. The way Eren Jaeger stares, though; it's worth it. As if Eren could eat him whole or take him whole... and he definitely could.

No. He does... but Eren still comes undone with Levi's name on his lips anyway after a decent amount of touches more or less gentle.

-X-

As I recall the fucking scene, I sigh loudly and lower myself in the bath as if I try to hide myself from whoever could see him right now. In this shape. Fuck no. Ignore it. It'll go away... Yeah. It will. Oh god, I hope it does. Hey, guess what!? It doesn't! I guess holding my cell phone and looking over Eren Jaeger's name on it (and his silly picture where I don't really see much of his face and more of the background) doesn't really help... but Hey! I was just wondering if I should text him or not. Or call him, who knows. I can still feel his lips on my skin like a ghost... and before I know it, it's my own fingertip grazing over my skin. Ghostly. Lightly. When I close my eyes, I can see him and I just let myself go in it. Lost.

So yeah, when my phone rings... It startles me and I find myself trying to get a grip of the device even though my hands are a wet. Even though my fingers won't make the touch screen react properly. I should have left it on the side of the bath, where I left it when I started to lose my head over this. I should, but I didn't. I grip it and I think I got it under control when my eyes can read the message, but it goes off again... and that's why I drop the phone. Slickly. I feel like I'm juggling with it. Or trying, at least. Let me tell you I fail miserably, because it drops into the water and it stays there quite a while before I manage to put it back out.

Hey, are you serious? Is this fucking real? My IPhone... This shit costs a lot too!

Black Screen.

Fuck you, Life!

-X-

Eren: You kissed me this time.

I saw that. I saw the first one. After that, I'm left guessing about the contents... Something I'll never know. I thought about you? I want a round no. 2? No. That is all me. My bad.

-X-

''You're like a kid'' she comments and I have to hold it together to make a sarcastic comment about this... I wonder who's the fucking kid between the two of us, but it is true; I am acting like a kid. No. A Teenager. This isn't some Teenage Romance where I live on my cell phone because I can't afford to miss his calls or his messages. No. I'm fucking twenty-eight for Fuck's sake. I'm long beyond that... or is it that I never went through this, so it comes to me now? God. I don't want to go back to my teens to live some romance I never lived... because my relationship with Petra didn't have a thrill like that.

At all.

But Mikasa isn't talking about this. No. She's talking about my behavior right now... because having no cell phone turns me into this horrible zombie the next morning because I didn't sleep at all. No. All I did was turn around in my bed. Again. And Again... and I wondered what was the next message Eren Jaeger sent me. I made scenarios. I thought of the infinite possibilities and I didn't even waste time trying to find something I could have said back to him. It took him days to send me this message... D A Y S! and I dropped my phone into my bath. How does one drop his phone into his bath anyway? Why did I bring it into the bathroom with me anyway while I was taking a bath? It's not like I needed it. That's not what you're supposed to do when you're trying to relax in your bath. That's not what I usually do... and yet, yesterday, I did it.

''Just get a new one'' she said and I could feel the irony. We had this conversation. We did. I told her we'd just get a new one when her shirt came out of the laundry with a stain. Color bleed. That was my bad... but, again, it was Eren's fucking colorful underwear's fault.

Eren. Eren. Eren. Everywhere.

So that's it. I am standing at the Bell Store at the 'Mail Champlain' while Mikasa looks at all the stupid accessories available... and will probably ask me for a bunch of stuff later, but it'll be a No. Just No. No cell phone for you! But for me, when it comes to my burned out IPhone, I lose it.

''What? You can't get everything that was on it back into my new one?''

I should probably calm the fuck down. I should probably keep my voice low, but it doesn't always go as planned. It's just how it is. I get kind of... slightly upset at the idea. Not slightly. I am upset. I mean, I didn't even tell him I dropped it in the bath. I told him I jumped into the pool with it in my pocket... which is a total lie, but he doesn't know that. And Mikasa didn't hear that part, because she knows. Oh yeah. She heard me swear loud and clear when I was still in the bath... She even told Petra and I had to deal with the annoying as fuck teasing from my ex-wife saying things like: ''Were you sexting with your new friend in the bath?''

If only... If only.

''You can keep your phone number, but you'll lose everything. Files. Contacts.''

''Previously sent or received messages?'' I feel fucking lame asking that one question for some reason. I don't even know where I find the courage to say it out loud.

''You'll lose those too. Your phone totally... died.''

-X-

I have this brand new phone; this brand new IPhone. It's black, which is better than my white one, but... Here, on my screen, there are only three contacts now with two of them being Petra. The remaining one is Erwin. No Eren Jaeger. No picture of his silly, but cute as fuck face. Nothing. I don't have his number and he doesn't text me again. I can't text him. I can't call him. I can't ask him what was up. I should be glad. I tell myself I should be glad. He won't bother me anymore. I'll be done with him. I won't have to worry about him. I'll just go back to my normal life and I actually start to believe it after a few days... but, when my phone rings Saturday morning; I realize I miss that ringtone he did for me.

I realize I want Eren Jaeger's face to be on the screen when I look it up... not Petra's.

Yeah, I'm pretty deep into this. I'm totally done for.