Disclaimer: I do not own Edward Cullen or Jacob Black. But I do own Ichabod, Oscar, Reeth, and Veronica.
"I'm so sorry about that," I apologized for the billionth time to Veronica. I was sitting on my bed, cross-legged, wiping my tears away. The brine left a subtle stickiness to my cheeks. Veronica huffed.
"Please... stop saying your sorry before I rip your blood-filled head off," she joked. I laughed quietly, my bed shaking along with me.
"So what brought all that crying on anyway... I mean... deep down inside," she asked cautiously. I could tell she didn't want me to burst out in tears again. I thought honestly for a moment. I knew that I could say whatever I wanted to in front of Veronica because there was a natural bond there. Even through all of the sarcasm and hostility, she and I still shared a common factor.
"Well... in truth.. it had a lot to do with Edward and myself," I sniffed. Veronica sighed expectantly.
"I knew it had to do with that leech... look... just because he's a stupid insensitive bastard doesn't mean you should beat yourself up about this," Veronica groaned. I shook my head.
"No... it's not because he doesn't have this instinct for me in return... I mean that's part of it... but it is something entirely different..." I said realizing my true fears. I feared the fact that, even though I had the gift of eternity, time would pass too rapidly. I would be left there... feeling these insane cravings.... watching everything pass me by. I felt like I would forever be stuck.... in this phase... with no one but my naïve self to guide me.
"Well then what is it?" Veronica urged. I sighed heavily.
"I am scared... I'm scared that time will pass and I will completely stand in the same spot... unchanged," I admitted. I had only pulled a mere thread of my fears away from an entire quilt of confusion. But at least that one thread was now exposed.
"Look... Reeth... I realize that this is all very new to you... and it is perfectly normal to be afraid... but you need to trust me when I say this... you are not going to avoid watching time pass... you were born into this paranormal life... the whole vampire thing just set it off early..." she tried to console me. But I felt like she was acting as my mother.
"I know all this... I know I couldn't have avoided it any way... I'm just trying to understand why everything is happening so fast," I choked beginning to feel a wetness build up in my eyes.
"Well eventually... you'll be wishing time would pass by quicker... trust me... it has only been a few days... you have to realize that this part passes fast for all the young," she explained more like a friend. I smiled. She had said all that I need to hear about the subject.
"So what about the whole boy situation... I know that's bothering you like hell right now," Veronica joked, climbing to sit on the bed with me. I laughed silently.
"Well... I am so frustrated with what I feel. How come I have to imprint," I complained. Veronica let out a hearty chuckle.
"Well I'm glad you found some delight in my pathetic feelings," I stated sarcastically. Veronica managed to stop giggling.
"No... it's not that... you have to understand right now that you sound like every young werewolf right now... you just have to accept the fact that you've imprinted," she said between hysterics. I rolled my eyes.
"Have you imprinted?" I asked curiously. Veronica suddenly stopped laughing. There was a long pause that was only filled her heartbeat and my breathing. She looked down to her hands that were now folded on her lap. She cracked her knuckles loudly.
"I did," she said quietly. I felt the strongest urge to comfort her.
"Did? Does that imply no longer?" I asked curiously. She tightened her jaw.
"Yes," she replied, still looking at her hands.
"You mean... imprinting isn't permanent?" I asked hopeful. She sighed.
"No... it is... but... the boy died," she said curtly. I shut my mouth right then and there, knowing that any further questions would mean one of two things; one, she'd throw a fit and strangle me, or two, she begin crying much harder than I had been previously. Ichabod knocked on the door lightly.
"Can I come in?" he asked politely. I looked to Veronica who had now gotten up and looked out the window.
"Do you mind?" I asked her gently. She shook her head.
"Come on in," I said hoping not to unleash whatever was going on inside of Veronica. Ichabod was in, in a flash. He was a mere blur until he froze a few inches away from me. I still couldn't believe that my eyes were powerful enough to see him move so rapidly.
"You feeling better?" Ichabod asked, holding my shoulders with his massive hands. I smiled.
"Yeah... for now," I comforted him more than myself. He smiled approvingly. He then clutched me to his chest, burying my face in his soft cotton grey t-shirt. I looked quickly over at Veronica, who seemed to be glaring at me.
"I hated seeing you cry... although I have to admit that it is quite impressive," he admitted. I looked up at him curiously.
"Impressive?" I questioned. He smiled, grazing my cheek with his nose. He was sniffing me; I could hear it.
"Yes... apparently you're more human than I gave you credit for," he said pleased. I shook my head. He then lifted his face away from my jaw.
"What?" he asked. I looked down.
"I'm not human... I'm a wolf... and I'm a vampire...," I said thinking about my two sides. I still didn't grasp the concept that it was impossible for a wolf to survive the transformation.
"Right... well either way... you're amazing," he said setting his head on my collar bone. When did these actions become appropriate? I so badly wanted this to be Edward. I wanted Edward to find me irresistible. I looked back over at Veronica who apparently wanted to talk more to me in private. Well, as private as it could get. Ichabod and Oscar might be eavesdropping.
"Um... Ichabod... can I have more girl talk?" I asked patiently. He lifted his head reluctantly.
"Alright... just let me know if you need anything," he said, glaring over at Veronica. She stuck her tongue out at him. I rolled my eyes and realized that this would never pass.
"Good night, my angel," he said, closing the door softly on his way out. I cleared my throat. I wished I could return him the preference he had for me. But I know in my heart... that would never happen. Not as long as Edward was "alive".
"You okay?" I asked Veronica. She shrugged.
"I'm fine... just... trying to forget about the earlier conversation," she answered honestly. I wondered if death would even stop this imprinting. I looked in Veronica's eyes and realized that the answer was no. She still loved her dead ... I trailed off in my thoughts.
"Gees it smells bad in this house," she complained. I laughed. Veronica apparently had the ability to bounce right up when she was down. I appreciated it immensely. I was always bad at cheering someone up. That and small talk.
"Don't even go there dog," I sent right back. She laughed quietly.
"Can't help... you guys smell deathly sweet," she commented. I tilted my head.
"Really?" I asked remembering when Ichabod and Oscar had first shown up at my house. They smelled very sweet to me. But it wasn't unpleasant. She nodded, pinching the end of her nose. I pushed her arm playfully.
"Yeah... your guys smell like pure sugar syrup that's being boiled... right under my nose," she said. I nodded.
"You smell like a mud bath right next to a stagnant swap," I said mischievously.
"Smells good to me," she retorted.
"Do I smell really sweet?" I asked her.
"To be honest... no... you're bearable... you smell like... hmmm.... cinnamon buns... and a little bit like chamomile," she said thoughtfully. I smiled.
"Well that's a relief," I exaggerated, "but didn't Jake and Sam... and Quil think I smelled bad? They seemed to tense up as soon as I walked into the garage." Veronica shook her head.
"I mean... granted you still smell sweet... but they are always on defense like that... especially with Jake and Quil being new to the pack," she informed me.
"New to the pack? But I thought you and Jake have had sex many times before?" I asked shocked, not realizing if it were rude to ask. She smiled widely.
"He didn't know about werewolves when I got to him... I lied and told him I was 14," she said proudly. I made a face of disgust.
"Robbing the cradle?" I joked. She rolled her eyes.
"How old are you anyway?" I asked her curiously. She shrugged.
"I lost count after 150..." she confessed. My eyes widened in shock.
"But don't werewolves age?" She shook her head.
"They only age when they do not use their wolf abilities anymore... I think... and I haven't stopped using them since I was 18 over 150 years ago," she said calmly. I felt my mouth fall open.
"Okay... so not only are you robbing the cradle... but you are also robbing Babies-r-us," I laughed.
"Phhhhhhh..... I don't care... he's beautiful," she said drifting away in her thoughts. I sighed.
"So... I assume you seduced him before he transformed..." I faded remembering our earlier conversation.
"Yupp... that's right... I remember the first time... I hurt him," she admitted sheepishly I laughed.
"You hurt him?" I asked. She nodded, blushing brightly.
"What happened?" I wondered curiously. I couldn't help but feel curious about this. Wasn't it supposed to be opposite; the guy hurting the girl?
"Well, it was when my alpha first sent me to the Quileute tribe... and when I saw him.... I thought he was beautiful... I thought he could help me forget all about... my other...," Veronica choked a little on the subject, I knew she was making reference to her previous imprint, "Anyway, he looked so good to me. So cheery despite all that was going on around him. I wanted that. So I introduced myself. Sam didn't object. After that... I spent an entire summer at La Push... just laying my das away with Jacob on the beach.... god I miss that," she reminisced.
"Well you still have him? Don't you?" I reminded her. She grimaced.
"Like I mentioned earlier today... he doesn't love me, Reeth. He loves some other girl. Some human girl. I just temporarily fill in this gap," she hissed. I felt my eyebrows pull together in frustration. I always seemed to say the wrong thins at the wrong time. She sulked, her torso hunching over in depression.
"You still haven't gotten to the part where you hurt him," I quickly stated. She laughed.
"Right," she pointed at me, "Um... where was I?" I jumped at the thought of reminding her of happier memories.
"Lying on the beach... with Jacob," I said wistfully.
"Mmm... so one day I had finally had enough of talking. I wanted to see other aspects of him. So when we were lying on the beach... I 'accidently' laid my hand on top of his. I remember everything about that moment.... the smell... the feel of the cool and wet sand underneath our bodies, god it was beautiful," she said, her lips moving tenderly as if she were preparing to relive the memory again. I pictured Edward and I on the beach, holding hands, fingers laced, walking along the shore.
"I remember Jake just looked at me... bewildered. He looked surprised by my movement... like he never thought it was possible that someone liked him. He smiled nervously. I laughed a little inside. He was inexperienced. I thought he wouldn't know what to do next. But he took my breath away... he rolled over, hovering his face over my head... and he kissed me once... so softly. It wasn't very raunchy like you're picturing, Reeth. It was only five seconds... just on my lips... nothing in between them. But it was more intense than anything I had ever experienced," she said, her eyes sparkling. I felt jealous of that perfect moment. She was right; it was what I was expecting it to be.
"Then he pulled away... smirking... he knew what he was doing, the tease. I remember I hadn't opened my eyes right away... that mad him laugh. So I pushed him backward on to the sand again, rolling on him. Then our hand began to wander," she cleared her throat. I felt her heart beating wildly. I could hear her pulse quicken. Her breathing shortened.
"I soon grew bored of that and ripped off his shirt. He looked at me wide-eyed... I must've scared him with my strength a little... but I didn't care. Then I kissed his chest... and that's when he tried to pull me back up to his face... but I didn't want to leave where I was... I wanted to linger at his body a little longer. So I grabbed his jaw and slammed his head harder than I thought. He yelped in pain... but he laughed at the same time. And then the rest is history," she breathed thoughtfully. I laughed, which seemed to offend her a little bit.
"What is so funny?" she growled.
"All this took place on a public beach?" I said, my ribs expanding rapidly from the laughter. She shrugged.
"Well... no one was around..." she faded, seeming a little embarrassed.
"Oh god... I bet p-plenty of people saw," I said in between my fit of giggles. She narrowed her eyes a bit, but still in good humor.
"Hmmm all this commentary coming from a virgin," she teased.
"Better a virgin than a nympho," I joked. She couldn't help but laugh along at that one. It took a few minutes for the laughing to cease. But when it did, my mind jumped right back to Edward. I thought about him so much in just one day more than I'd ever thought about anyone in my entire prior life. Veronica snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. I jumped in reaction to it. She lifted one corner of her mouth up.
"You okay? You've been zoning out all day," she commented. I bit my lip in embarrassment.
"Um... yeah... I've just got a lot to think about," I confessed. She rolled her eyes.
"It's Edward," she said matter-of-factly. I narrowed my eyes.
"How do you know?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders.
"When a wolf imprints... it becomes and obsession. You can't hide that fro me... I know exactly what you're thinking about," she informed me. My eyes scrutinized her face.
"Don't believe me?" she argued. I shook my head.
"What am I thinking about right now?" I tested.
"You're thinking about Edward's safety and your worried about where time will drive the both of you," she said plainly. I gulped.
"How? Can you read my mind too?" I wondered aloud. She tilted her head to the side.
"Too? Who can read minds?" she asked curiously. I bit my lip again.
"Oh... um no body...," I lied. She nodded with a hint of suspicion in her eyes. I got up from the bed and walked over to the window. He's not there, I convinced the hunger to see Edward. It was immediately diluted.
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" she wondered but her voice was easy to read. She still was curious to know about the mind reading thing but had set it aside for another tie.
"I'm going to school," I whispered, still staring out into the cold abysmal world. She groaned.
"You have eternity to live on this planet with a virtually indestructible body... and you're using that to go to school?" she argued. I laughed once, quietly.
"Yupp... it's the only place I'll get to see Edward... I don't think he's coming to my house anymore..." I said, remembering the regret of my conversation with him earlier. Why couldn't I just drop the Bella thing? Why did I push him so hard?