"Oh, you're there…" Hiro's voice shook the blonde out of his reverie. He was back in the real world and hated every moment of it. He had just been standing there for about a few seconds but it felt like he'd been dreaming for ages, and the dream was so much better than the real thing.

In his daydream, there was a brown haired angel, healthy, strong with life flowing and coursing through his every veins and was smiling at him as if the smile was for him to own. Why did he have to wake up from that?

In this real world, all he had was a dying Shuichi…

Yuki stepped inside paying no heed to Hiro's earlier remark. "How are you, brat?" he said addressing Shuichi the way he normally did, though right now he wanted to say sweeter un-Yuki-ish words.

"I'm fine, Yuki…" Shuichi readily answered with a smile, whether false or not, Yuki couldn't be sure.

Somehow, the guitarist and said best friend of the singer sensed the need of the two to have solitude, excused himself and went out of the room closing the door behind him and leaving former lovers quite alone.

Now Yuki wasn't a psychologist, but he knew his way around people and how to handle unfamiliar novel situations, however, as his eyes bore themselves into Shuichi's purple ones, he'd lost all reasons and all words he'd worked so hard to learn. Silence had its own dictionary just as emotions have their own fairy tales.

"Do I have something on my face?" Shuichi asked innocently tilting his head and lifting a hand touching his own cheek. The question was not a pretense though.

Yuki shook his head to wake up from the trance. They needed coherent words. "No, idiot." He answered. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to say Shuichi's name aloud, as if the name had been tabooed and saying it would break something that kept his composure alive.

Shuichi smiled at him again. Don't smile at me like that! Yuki thought, too late when he realized he had really spouted the whole thing out.

The singer tore his gaze away and looked at his lap. Whatever he was thinking was totally unreadable from Yuki's perspective. The brat used to be predictable in many ways, something he manipulatively exploited many times before. But things were different this time, and somehow Shuichi had matured more than Yuki could've ever fathomed. Was time that really so short for the singer that he grew up more in those two years than someone he knew could do so in six years?

"I'm pathetic, right, Yuki?" the singer asked much to the blonde's surprise.

Yes, you're pathetic. You're pathetic because you're not with me, Yuki's thoughts went on, and he clenched his teeth as to make sure that this time he wouldn't let the thought bring itself to words.

"Have you talked to your family?" was apparently all that the writer could come up with.

Shuichi nodded, "yes. Same thing happens, they ask me to come home, I decline, Maiko gets angry, parents frustrated… the usual…" replied Shuichi so casually it could actually sting anyone who wasn't Yuki Eiri.

"Why don't you move in with me again?" a statement unforeseen by the two of them. Yuki startled himself by asking that, but did his best not to show it. Shuichi seemed to be in awe, mouth slightly open just as eyes darted to the writer showed nothing but innocent surprise. For a moment, the sadness etched there was gone, until those purple eyes returned to their previous appearance and filled with unshed tears.

The singer shook his head and looked back at the open window. "I… can't do that, Yuki." He said in almost a soundless whisper, but was heard nonetheless.

"Why?" the blonde readily asked, mind still not back to it's usual I'm the ruthless heartless bastard that will kick you out when you do something I don't like attitude that he usually wore when talking to Shuichi before.

"Because…" Shuichi replied, "because…" he repeated but no other words followed. Instead, there was a soft, almost infant-like giggle, "I want to lie to you so that you'll leave me alone, Yuki, but somehow I can't bring myself to do it…"

"Tell the truth then," Yuki said quickly, earning another soft giggle.

"Well, because, Yuki… I still love you… and will want in many ways to show you that but won't be able to do so anymore because my… condition won't permit me to…" the former singer replied slowly as if trying not to strain his breath.

The door banged open and a very angry Mika Seguchi entered, passed through Yuki and slapped a stunned Shuichi.

"Why are you even back in Japan?!" She shouted pulling Shuichi by the collar of his shirt, "you should've just stayed in wherever hell you were! Everything became fine when you weren't around! Yuki was fine when you weren't around! The media finally stopped knocking on our doors wanting to know how our family takes your being in a relationship with him, Tohma was finally untroubled by trying to keep everyone's noses off you're antics and-" she was held back by nurses pulling her out of the room.

"Please Seguchi-san! This is a hospital! Mr. Shindou needs rest and-"

"I'll send him to eternal rest if that's what he needs!" Mika shouted doing her best to pull herself away from the nurses' grasps.

Yuki watched unmoving and in complete awe as his sister struggled. He never knew Mika was actually observing them beyond their thoughts.

It took quite some time before the nurses, now accompanied by guards were finally able to pull her out of the room and calm her somewhere else. An awkward silence was back disturbed only by the noise outside.

Yuki's eyes drifted to Shuichi who lifted his hand to touch his cheek, red and slightly bruised from the strength of the slap (damn Mika could be a barbarian sometimes). The blonde stepped closer ready to place his hand over Shuichi's but was stopped dead two centimeters close.

"Don't touch me…" Shuichi said softly, eyes partially hidden by the shadows cast upon by his hair, "just… don't…"

But Yuki proceeded anyway, placing his hand above Shuichi's small one lying on the side of the bed. The singer pulled it out of his touch and now had both his hands on is cheek.

"I told you not to touch me, Yuki…" he said, voice shaking, "I… I knew that I shouldn't have come back here to Japan. I told myself I wouldn't, really I did… I knew that coming back here would make them angry, that I'd just hurt the people that I know… but I had to be selfish, didn't I? I had to be back to see you, I had to come here to see you and ruin all of your lives again… I had to be the selfish bastard that I am…"

Before Yuki knew it, Shuichi was in his embrace. What was he talking about? What form of selfishness was there in wanting to be happy for probably the last time? He half expected the singer to cry, shed tears leaving his suit wet from all the weeping, but surprisingly, he didn't. Eiri realized that crying would've probably made the singer suffocate, and he damned every breathing thing there was out there who didn't deserve that privilege. One should cry when one needed to burst out emotions, but Shuichi was even denied of that… the world could be so unfair.

"I just… wanted to see you for the last time…" said Shuichi pounding his tiny fist on Yuki's chest. It was so weak it didn't even hurt a bit. The irony though was that Yuki wanted it to hurt, if at least share the pain Shuichi must be feeling right now.

"I love you…"