Big thanks to Lizeyli and G-Tr for reviewing C10, and to those who are now following or have favorited Clandestine.

A lot of action in this chapter, you get to see more of "Kate's" powers and how she uses them in a fight. I'm excited for this and the Battle of New York, that's approaching fast.

Enjoy!

Chapter 11 - Avengers Part 6

May 2nd, 2011

As the force of the explosion tosses me through the air, time seems to slow down. In that instant, in that second, I think that I'm dying. I think that they won and that I'll die never knowing about my past.

I feel my body hit the wall with a crack, I feel my legs give way underneath me and crumble to the ground, I feel the needles in my head stab me a thousand times over. There's so much pain... I just want it to end-

But just as soon as the familiar pain washes over me, like an uncontrolled animal, it lessons enough to where I can open my eyes.

I let out a shaky breath as I push myself up off of the floor. My eyes scan the destroyed lab and I notice that Bruce and Agent Romanoff are nowhere to be seen. Thor is gone, too. On my right I see Steve and Tony run into the hallway with frantic looks on their faces.

Then I see Fury.

Through the clouds of dust I see his hand go up to his ear. His lips are moving but I can't hear what he's saying.
The light from the morning beams easily through the shattered window, and a breeze ruffles my hair. In two strides I'm in front of Fury, my eyes looking straight into his good one. "Where is it?" I demand.

"What are you talking about?" Fury's says quickly. I can see that he is scanning the area around us for something else.

"The information SHIELD has on me! Where is it?"

"Kate-"

I stop fighting whats inside me; I give into the power. In seconds, before he knows what happened, the Director of SHIELD is hovering a foot off the ground, an invisible noose tight around his neck. He gasps for air that can't reach his lungs, but he's utterly calm. "Kate," he manages.

"Tony hacked your server, he found out about Phase 2. He could find out about me and I can't have that!" I lift him up a little higher, narrowing my eyes. "Where!"

"That information...is too valuable." he gags. "It's safe in a separate location. Your...s-safe."

I'm out the door and into the chaos filled hall before Fury lands on the ground. I'm running against the flow of agents. I don't know what I'm heading into but I need to find out where my information is really kept. I have just reached a computer room when I hear Fury's voice; he is telling Coulson to lock down the detention section and things come together.

Loki.

All I want is to find out where that information is kept and find a way off this ship. With or without SHIELD's help, I was going to get answers. But something was gnawing at me from the inside; I don't know why I couldn't force myself to leave them to fight against Loki.

I'm no hero. I've been everything but a hero.

With a low growl, I leave.

Priorities changed.

I run back into the hall. Its clear so I slow my advancement, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, body ready for a fight. The compromised SHIELD agents are here for Loki, which means Barton is here, too. The only weapons I have are a knife and my sidearm that only has a few rounds left. It won't be an easy fight to win if I run into someone. Especially if that someone is Agent Barton.

I suddenly pick up on the soft pattering of footsteps, slowly moving in my direction. I step inside a doorway and press my back against the wall, keeping myself hidden in the shadows as I wait for them to come to me. I tell myself that I shouldn't kill them, that they're victims. But I've already made that mistake once, and look where it got me.

I'm not going to make that same mistake again.

As soon as I see the barrel of the rifle, followed by the guards steady arm, I bring my elbow down on it. A loud crack, then a shout of pain sound. Two more guards aim their weapons at me when they see and hear their partner scream. Instantly I use the man as a shield, his body taking the wave of bullets meant for me.

When the firing stops, I drop the dead weight and grab the guard closet to me, pulling their weapon forwards and down as I thrust my knee up into his stomach. He stumbled forward against the forceful impact but doesn't relent. I feel him wrap his arms around my leg and uses his weight advantage to slam me to the ground, then punch his fist into my abdomen and ribs repeatedly. I manage to roll onto my back, him half on top of me and half on the ground. With a burst of strength I reach my hand around his head and pull back hard, ignoring the sound of his neck shattering.

I shove him off and scramble to my feet. I'm wondering where the third man went when I'm struck from behind, caught in between releasing the second dead guard and looking for the third guard. Falling forward with the momentum I go to sweep my leg underneath him but he jumps out of the way in time. I look up from my spot on the ground and see his finger tighten against the trigger of his rifle. Without thinking, I raise my hands in front of myself just as he shoots. I expect the bullets to strike my flesh, ending my life where I lay but the pain never comes. My eyes widen slightly as I see the bullets strike something before falling to the ground harmlessly. I look down at the bullets then to the man who seemed to be just as surprised as I am. Reacting before he does, I lower my hands and reach for my gun, emptying two rounds into his exposed neck.

My brows come together in confusion. That's new, I think.

As the body falls I slowly get to my feet, pushing the pain away. My hands are shaking and I can't stop them. I feel numb, emotionless, like I use to when I was sent to kill someone. A feeling I thought I left behind. I guess it found a way to come with me.

"Kate!"

I look up to see Coulson standing feet away. His face is close to unreadable but I can tell he saw what I just did. Not the killing of three 'SHIELD' agents. The other part.

The gun in my hand feels heavy. I holster it faster than I realize, choosing to use my body as my weapon going forward unless required. "What's going on?" I ask though I know the answer.

Agent Coulson kindly doesn't reply to my question. "Come with me. We're going to lock down the detention section."

"So, it is Barton? He's here to break Loki out?" I growl. My hands form a tight fist, the power in me raging. The pain in my head is all too present. So is my mistake. "I should have killed him when I had the chance."

"Don't do that to yourself, Kate."

"If I had then we wouldn't be here right now-"

"I know you had a chance to kill Barton and didn't take it. Don't think that this is in any way your fault. He can still be saved."

"And if he can't? Is the price of my not killing him when I had the chance going to be paid by someone on this ship?"

A flash of comfort crosses Coulson's eyes. "You made the right call."

I don't tell him how Barton is only alive because I hesitated, not because I thought he could be saved. How am I suppose to agree with him about being able to save someone when I don't believe it myself?

I follow Coulson to the armory where he unlocked a large cage and pulled down a unique and deadly looking weapon. He motioned for me to select something; I shake my head. "What's the plan?" I ask.

"We need to keep Loki contained. Anyone who tries to release him, we stop."

Coulson leads and I follow, watching our six, ready for anything. We walk down a long hall, take two turns before he points straight ahead. I nod understandingly and proceed forward and down another hall.

I come up on an open door and peer around the corner just as Thor charges Loki. I watch as Loki's appearance shimmers and Thor literally runs through him, before falling inside the now locked cage. I flex my hands and hold my position.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?" asks Loki. Thor wastes no time in slamming his hammer against the thick glass. A locking mechanism shifts, as does the cage. I fight the urge to go forward and help, but I can see Coulson coming up behind a guard.

Just a few more seconds...

"The humans think us immortal." Loki laughs as he goes to the control panel, pressing a few buttons and opening the door beneath the cage. "Should we test that?"

Agent Coulson takes out the guard, who goes down in a heap; that's my cue. "It's over, Loki."

"Move away, please."Coulson walks forward, the weapon aimed. I step out of the shadows and on to the platform behind Loki. I take a few steps forward, catching Thor's gaze with my own. He nods.

"You like this? We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer. Even I don't know what it does." Coulson flicks the power button on after Loki had raised his hands and backed away from the controls. "Want to find out?"

It happens too fast. There was nothing I could do.

I can't stop Loki from-somehow-appearing behind Coulson with his spear in hand. I can't warn him. I scream just as the blade is run through the agent's chest, staining itself red with his blood.

"No!"

I can hear Thor yell as Coulson falls limply to the ground, I hear his fist pound against the glass. I rush forward but am stopped in my tracks by Loki. Guards surround me, pulling my arms behind my back and forcing me to my knees. I struggle against their hold as Loki smirks at Thor, then smiles at me, before he returns to the controls. The smile doesn't leave his face as he presses the release button.

I watch helplessly as the cage, and Thor, are dropped.

"I had hoped that you would come see me, Eleven; I was sure that the curiosity of your history would bring you to me." the grip around my arms grow tighter. "You must care about finding out the truth. About that power inside you. I know you stand to gain something if you find the Tesseract. Something personal. But do you know what you stand to lose?"

I pull myself forward, trying to break free. I'm able to loosen the hold a little bit before it returns and an arm is wrapped around my chest. "Do you not want to know?"

"Let go of me and I'll tell you what I want," I say through clenched teeth.

"Barton told me that the serum, the power, coursing through your veins is very unique. SHIELD is worried about it becoming too much. He said that even you can't control it; that's why they see you as a threat." he steps closer to me, and crouches to my level. It takes everything I have to not fight harder against the guards holding me. I don't want to give them reason to put a bullet in my head. "You don't have to fight it, Eleven. Give in to it. Become it." he spreads his arms out and grins even bigger, his accented voice adding, "Show the world the real you."

"Let go of me!" my yell is welcomed with a strike to my head. My vision goes dark around the edges.

"You're going to lose." I lift my head in the direction of where Coulson sits slumped against the wall, blood still running out of his chest.

"Am I?" Loki turns from me to Coulson.

"It's in your nature."

"Hmm. Your heroes are scattered. Your flying fortress falls from the sky." Loki moves closer to the SHIELD agent. "Tell me, where is my disadvantage."

"You lack conviction."

"I don't think I'm-" an orange blast knocks into Loki, sending him flying back through a wall. The guards holding me are surprised and I'm quick to use that in my favor.

I throw my head back into the one whose arm is around my chest. His grip is gone and the room I have to move I use to pull the person on my right side down close enough to where I can punch him. He stumbles and I grab the back of his jacket and slam his face into the nearby railing.

I reach into my boot and grab my knife. One guard reacts fast and grabs my wrist, then pulls me to my feet. I kick out, connecting with his knee; it cracks loudly under my force and the hold he has on me is gone. I slash the blade across his neck and he crumbles to the ground.

Turning to the last man, I size him up. He's bigger but I'm much faster. Before he can make a move, I throw my knife and it lands on his throat.

"So, that's what it does."

I'm breathing hard as I run over and slide to a halt by Coulson's side. I can tell that the wound is bad, really bad. I shake my head. "Just hang on, okay? Just-" This is my fault. Barton is still alive and Coulson is dying. All because of me. "Just hold on,"

"Kate," I see Coulson's hand move the tiniest to where Loki was shot through the wall. I know what he wants me to do, it just doesn't feel right. "go."

But I'm already backing up. I can't let Loki get away. I can hear someone running this way and figure that it's someone who can actually help him. I rest my hand on the burnt wall and look over my shoulder at a fading Phil Coulson. I think he manages a smile.

Even though I'm far away and his voice is in a whisper, I can clearly hear his what he says to me, "Don't forget... yourself."

I run through the halls at a dead sprint, my boots slamming against the floor. I dodge debris and bodies, my hair flying behind me. I don't stop. I'm not certain which way Loki headed but my guess is, since he's trying to escape, he'd head a jet.

Using my memory to get back to the landing strip, I take different turns and halls as I pursue Loki. I can make out the sound of an aircraft engine roaring to life. I just broke the threshold of the door when something flashes towards my chest. Reacting fast I cross my arms in front of myself, letting them take the brunt of the blow.

I slide back into the wall; something pins me in place. I see Loki standing in front of me, his expressing unreadable. I push myself away from the wall, ready to charge again, when something sharp is pressed to my chest. Right over my heart.

"Ahh, I wouldn't do that." Loki says as I glance down and see that the end of his scepter, still red with Coulson's blood, is hovering over my chest. "There's something about you. It's not just heart you have, there's something else. Something," the scepter begins to glow that electric blue, like Barton's eyes. "something I need."

I can feel its energy, fighting against my body, trying to enter itself. Loki's eyes are staring intently at mine, like he knows something I don't.

I blink once, fighting the urge to do what this man says, when he is pulled backwards by an invisible force. He slides across the runway and with him no longer holding me up I fall to my knees.

I gasp for air, fight the sudden cold in my body. I open my eyes and I watch as Loki take off in a jet. My shoulders fall in defeat.

I failed.

"Agent Coulson is down."

"Medics are headed to your location."

"They're here. They called it."

I failed.

I don't remember arriving on the bridge. I don't remember shedding my gloves or changing the shirt under my suit. I don't remember letting my hair down. And I don't remember sitting as far away as I possibly could from Stark and Rogers who had gathered around the table.

But I remember Coulson dying. I wasn't there, but it was my fault. My hands are covered in his blood.

Before we confronted Loki, I had asked him who would pay the price because I didn't kill Agent Barton back in Germany. Though he didn't answer then, I have one now: too many.

"These were in Phil Coulson's jacket." I lift my eyes just as Fury tosses something towards Steve. I watch Rogers pick up a trading card and turn in over in his hands. "I guess he never did get you to sign them."

"We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, the location of the cube, Banner, Thor... I got nothing for you. I lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming." Fury sighs. "Yes, we were going to build and arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number, though, because I was playing something even riskier.

"There was an idea, Stark knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to and fight the battles that we never could."

I clenched and unclenched my hand, trying my best to get rid of the numbness. The pain in my head is just a dull pounding; I noticed that as I watched Loki escape in a jet. Right now I wish for it to come full force and replace the cold numbness.

Fury is on my left, standing with his hands resting on the chair. He looks at me as he talks, holding my gaze longer than anyone else's. I get the feeling that he's trying to silently tell me something, but I don't know what. I can't look at him anymore.

"Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea. In heroes."

Tony pushes himself to his feet and leaves. I watch him go out of the corner of my vision, wanting to follow his lead but not trusting my legs to carry me.

"Well, it's an old-fashioned notion."

Steve exits soon after. I sit plastered to the chair tracing my finger around the edge of a trading card. What I had previously thought about SHIELD has, albeit slightly, changed. I thought that they just wanted me close to make sure that I didn't do anything, and that still may hold truth. But they know my history and figured that I could do more good than harm if I was thrown into saving the world with six other people.

But Coulson is dead because of me. How can they want someone like me, a woman who leaves bodies in her wake, on their 'team', fighting evil and protecting those who can't protect themselves?

"I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man."

"He was an idiot."

"Why? For believing?"

"For taking on Loki alone."

"He was doing his job and he wasn't alone. Kate was with him."

"Yeah, a lot of good that kid did. How can we work with someone like her if we can't trust her to watch our asses?"

"Someone like her?"

"Yeah, someone like her. We don't know anything about her. Is she a spy? An assassin? I couldn't find anything on the kid; there's something different about her. Besides, Coulson should've waited; he was out of his league."

"Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony."

"Right, I've heard that before."

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

"We are not soldiers! I'm not marching to Fury's fife."

"Neither am I. He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. But right now we gotta put that behind us and get this done. Now, Loki needs a power source, if we put together a list-"

"He made it personal."

"That's not the point."

"That is the point. That's Loki's point. He hit us right where we live. Why?"

"To tear us apart."

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

"Right. I caught his act in Stuttgart."

"That's just previews. This, this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a building with his name plastered-.

"Sonofabitch."

Chapter 12: "Fury, SHIELD, they made a mistake bringing me in to find the Cube. And I made a mistake agreeing to help; Coulson paid the price. I'm not the type of person you want saving the day. My past, who I am..." I sigh, not wanting to go on. "Don't make the same mistake they did."

The beginning of the Battle of New York begins in the next chapter. *cheers*

I have a little bit of editing to do for chapters 12 and 13, then I'll be done with the Avengers portion of Clandestine. :)