An Unhealthy Escape

Disclaimer: I do not own harry Potter (obviously).

Chapter 11

"Harry. Harry!" Harry opened his eyes and was immediately confronted by a startlingly bright light. He blinked a few times, realizing it was just the sunlight pouring through the open curtains. He looked around and saw Ginny sitting by his bedside, concern and pain clear on her face.

"Ginny?" Harry asked. He reached toward the bedside table, but Ginny got there first, placing his glasses gently on his face.

"Harry, you're awake," she said, relief saturating her voice. With his glasses on, Harry could now see her properly. He could see the dark circles under her tired, bloodshot eyes that shone with unshed tears, the way her cheek bones pierced the skin of her face a little more than they did before and her ribs stuck out a little more beneath the tight, red long-sleeved tank top that looked entirely too hot considering the stifling summer heat.

"Ginny…" Harry tried to sit up, but was firmly pushed back down by Ginny. "Ginny, are you okay? What's wrong?" Harry asked, his concern overshadowing any other thoughts.

"No, I'm not okay," Ginny said, much to Harry's surprise. Ginny may trust him more than anyone, but she never admitted to him that she was not okay. She had come to him for help on many occasions, but she would never say she was not okay. It was always 'I'm fine' or 'There's nothing wrong' or 'I'm just tired'. Harry of course knew there was something wrong, and knew how to help her, but she never openly said it.

"Gin, what's wrong?" harry asked, panicking now.

"Harry, why did you do it? Why did you hurt yourself?" Ginny asked, saltwater tears now attacking her pale face, stinging her dry cheeks and lips. She didn't care.

Harry closed his eyes, ashamed. How could he do this? He had promised her… he had promised Ginny he wouldn't.

"I am so sorry Ginny. I just couldn't… I needed it. So badly. My head was screaming at me to cut, and I couldn't resist any longer. I'm so sorry Ginny; you know how hard I tried to stop. I promised you that I would, and I did, and you have no idea how much that hurts me. Gin, I am so sorry, but I can't do this. I can't keep that promise. Cutting is the only thing that helps. It… its just pure relief. The pain feels amazing, and as much as I try to convince myself that I don't like it, I can't. I like the pain, Gin. It makes everything go away. I guess that means I'm crazy." Harry's eyes were swimming in tears by the time he finished his speech.

"Harry…" Ginny couldn't say anything else. She buried her face in the sheets next to Harry's head and cried; cried for her best friend who was in so much pain, cried for his family and friends who were so concerned about him, and cried for herself. Because she couldn't do it either. She was just as crazy as he was.

Harry couldn't stand crying girls; they made him uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do. But with Ginny it was different. He knew what she needed, he knew exactly how to help her, and instead of feeling uncomfortable he just felt pain. When she was hurting, he hurt too. He wrapped an arm tightly around her shaking body and held her as she cried. He brought his other hand up to gently stroke her hair

"Harry, I need to tell you something," Ginny admitted quietly. Harry felt his heart sink as she sat up and faced him. He had suspected ever since he had seen that shirt. Usually, Ginny used a concealment potion to cover the scars and wore short sleeves to try to avoid any suspicion. Sure enough, she checked to door for anyone who might interrupt before rolling up her sleeve. Harry knew what he would see, but strangely that didn't make it any easier.

There on Ginny's forearm were five parallel cuts, all very recent judging by the bright scarlet liquid still seeping out of them. Ginny closed her eyes, unable to look at the hurt and pain on her best friend's face.

"I am so sorry," Ginny whispered.

"You should be," Harry said to her. Ginny tried not to show how much pain those words caused her. "You should be sorry for hurting yourself, Gin. You are too good to be causing yourself pain. You shouldn't want to do that; you shouldn't need to do that, because you are perfect." Ginny smiled at this.

"I'm not perfect Harry," she said.

"Maybe you're not," Harry told her. "But to me, your imperfections just make you that much more perfect." Harry had no idea where these words were coming from, but the minute he spoke them, he knew they were the truth. He sat up on his bed to face Ginny. "Ginny you can't do this to yourself. You are too good for this. You have a whole life ahead of you Gin. You have an amazing future with your family. My future is clouded by Voldemort. I have to kill him," Harry said quietly.

"Harry, you don't have to kill him. Someone else could do it, it's not like it has to be you," Ginny said, a confused frown on her pretty face.

"I have this feeling that it's going to b me. He keeps coming after me and I don't even bloody know why. I don't know why he wants to kill me."

"I thought it was because he couldn't kill you when you were a baby, you made him disappear," Ginny said. Harry shook his head slowly.

"No. He came to kill me that night. Not my parents. Me," Harry said, silently watching for her reaction. Ginny's eyes widened slightly in fear.

"But why would he want to kill you? You were only one? How do you know this?" Ginny asked quickly, her voice getting higher and higher as she spoke. She didn't want to imagine that vile, evil thing would try to kill a baby. She knew he had no qualms about hurting children; after all, she had only been eleven when he possessed her and forced her to hurt people. But to think that he would murder a defenseless one-year old baby was horrifying.

"I've never told anyone this before," Harry said shyly, afraid she would think he was crazy.

"Harry, you don't have to tell me, but you can trust me. Surely you know that by now?" Harry chuckled.

"I guess I should know that by now. When the dementors come too close to me… I can hear them. I can hear my parents last moments. I heard Tom talking to my Mum. He was telling her to move aside, that she needn't die. She could have lived," Harry's voice cracked slightly when he said this. She could have lived. It was painful to think about. "She refused to move. She died for me. That's what saved me. He couldn't hurt me because my Mum died to save me." Harry looked up to see Ginny watching him with teary eyes. Silently, she pulled him into her arms and held him as he cried, as he had done for her just moments ago.

"Harry, I'm so sorry," she whispered. Harry pulled back and looked at her. She really was perfect, he thought as he got lost in her warm, chocolate orbs.

"This is why I have to kill him Gin," Harry told her, taking her injured wrist in his gentle hands.

"Well then, you better get used to having me around. I have a few scores of my own to settle with Tom. I'll be with you the whole way, through everything, no matter how dangerous, no matter how much you want to keep me safe. I'll be there Harry," she told him firmly. She knew he would try to keep her safe, and she refused to allow it. She would be there the whole way, through thick and thin, no matter what.

Harry realized that both of them had unconsciously moved closer to each other during their conversation, only a few inches separating their faces. Acting purely on instinct, Harry closed the gap, pressing his lips gently to hers and kissing her. He brought one hand up to her now dry cheek the other still keeping its gentle hold on her wrist.

Ginny was in shock. Harry was kissing her! She wrapped her free arm around his neck and kissed him back. After a few moments that seemed like forever, they pulled away from each other. They both looked at each other, brilliant smiles lighting up their faces. Ginny pulled him back towards her, pressing her lips more forcefully against his this time. He responded immediately, his hand combing through her fire red hair.

"Hey Ginny, your mo-" Harry and Ginny immediately jumped apart as if they had been burned.

"Sirius," Harry said awkwardly, his face a brilliant shade of red that could rival any Weasley. Ginny hurriedly pulled down her sleeve as she saw Sirius' eyes land on her arm. She looked sheepishly down at her lap and fidgeted with her fingers, the tips of her ears turning pink with embarrassment.

"Er… sorry. I didn't know that you were awake Harry. Ginny your mother wants you downstairs for lunch," Sirius said awkwardly. Ginny jumped up and ran out the door, pausing only to glance back at Harry and offer him a small smile. Sirius slowly shut the door behind him, raising one eyebrow at his godson, whose face turned even redder, if that was possible.

"Erm… we were… I was… we were just…" Harry stumbled over his words, unable to produce a full sentence. Sirius watched in amusement as he tried to find an acceptable excuse for the position in which he had been found.

"Kissing her?" Sirius asked, trying not to laugh at his godson.

"Uh, well… kinda?" Harry grimaced in embarrassment as Sirius roared with laughter at his face.

"What the bloody hell is goin- Harry! You're awake!" Remus walked over to Harry, checking the bandages on his wrist and feeling his forehead for his temperature. "You're all red… do you have a temperature? Are you feeling all right?" he asked in concern. Sirius laughed even harder at this. Harry just groaned, sliding back under the covers and pulling them up over his head. Remus frowned.

"Padfoot, why are you laughing?" He turned to his best friend.

"NO! He's not laughing!" Harry sprung out of bed, quickly clamping his hand over Sirius' mouth. Sirius lifted him off as if he weighed barely anything, which was probably true. "He's not laughing!" Harry said sternly. "Right Padfoot?" Harry asked sweetly. He knew that if he gave Sirius his wide-eyed, pleading look then he wouldn't tell.

"No, I'm not laughing," said Sirius. Remus raised an eyebrow at the two of them. They both were very good at looking innocent, although Remus knew they were anything but.

"Okay…" Remus said, clearly confused. "Harry, you should get back into bed," Remus said. Harry looked like he was about to argue, but we started to wobble a bit as the room became unsteady and started to spin. Sirius and Remus helped him over to the bed.

"How long was I asleep?" asked harry.

"Only four days Kid," Sirius answered, easily lifting Harry onto the bed and pulling the covers over him. "You lost a lot of blood, Harry." Sirius said, his tone now deadly serious. Harry's gaze flitted around the room, never meeting either of his guardian's eyes.

"Harry, why did you do it?" asked Remus. "I told you to come talk to me if you ever felt like cutting… don't you trust me?" He asked. Harry's eyes widened and his head snapped up to look at Remus.

"NO! Of course I trust you!" He exclaimed, horrified. "I just… I don't know. It just became too much I guess," Harry told them, going back to looking around the room.

"Harry… Remus and I think you need some help," Sirius said, watching cautiously as Harry froze. "Harry, we think you need to talk to someone. Like a professional."

"Absolutely not. If I talk to some healer person, it'll be all over the news. I'm already being called a nutter for saying Tom's back, I don't need them to know I'm mentally fucked up," Harry said icily. Remus didn't bother telling him off for his coarse language.

"Harry, you're not. Don't say that, it's not true. You're just going through a hard time right now, okay? Do you think Ginny's mentally fucked up?" Sirius asked with a knowing gleam in his eyes. He knew he had Harry cornered with this one.

"How do you know about Ginny?" Harry asked, panic clear in his voice.

"Kid, she had her sleeve rolled up and blood dripping in when I walked in the room. And judging by what I witnessed when I walked in, I'd say that you don't think Ginny is mentally fucked up," Sirius smirked as his godson's face turned red again. Harry narrowed his eyes, giving his godfather his famous death stare; the one that could scare off the bravest Gryffindor when Harry was in a bad mood. Sirius just laughed.

"Ginny is not mentally fucked up," Harry said coldly. Sirius laughed again, louder this time. Remus was once again staring at the two of them, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Seriously, what is so funny?" He asked.

"Well, I walked in the room to tell Ginny that her Mum wanted her downstairs," Sirius started. Harry immediately tried to cover his mouth but Sirius swatted his hand away as if were nothing more than a particularly irritating mosquito. Harry tried to jump on Sirius' back and put him in a choke hold, but Sirius just held his arms in a tight grip. Harry continued to try to wrestle with Sirius. "And I find the two of them snogging each other," Sirius laughed as Harry fell to the bed in defeat, punching Sirius on the arm as hard as he could.

"OW! Kid that hurt!" Sirius exclaimed, pushing Harry so he fell onto his side. Harry righted himself again and glared at him. Remus was now laughing as hard as Sirius. Harry just growled at them both.

"I'm going downstairs to see everyone," He said before stomping towards the door.

"In you pajamas?" Remus asked, still laughing, much to Harry's displeasure. Looking down, Harry found that someone had dressed him in his Gryffindor colored flannel pajamas.

"Yeah, well, I'll just get changed first then," Harry said, grabbing his clothes and storming out the door.

"We'll be checking you when you get back Harry! Don't you dare try anything! You have exactly three minutes before we bang the door down whether you are dressed or not!" Sirius called, his laughter coming to an abrupt stop.

"Sure, sure," Harry called back, slamming the bathroom door behind him. He pulled off his shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. Harry was disgusted by what he saw. His ribs looked like they were going to pierce right through his skin, and his hip bones stuck out underneath his stomach He turned and he could see every little bone in his spine, running up his scarred back.

He looked at the scars. There were so many, he could barely tell one from another. There were large red welts that still hadn't healed from his last days at the Dursley's almost two weeks ago. No one knew about these; not even Ginny and he planned to keep it that way. He was terrified that one day someone was going to find out. The press would have a field day; Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, abused and beaten by his muggle family. Harry shuddered to imagine what everyone would think of him. That he was weak, damaged, dirty.

"That's it Harry, we're coming in!" Sirius called. He had clearly been in here too long. Harry jumped back from the door, eyes wide as Sirius walked into the bathroom.

"Why do you look guilty?" Sirius asked suspiciously seeing Harry's terrified expression. "What are you hiding Harry? You know we're going to find out eventually." Sirius looked down at Harry's wrist, but there was no blood, no cuts. He scanned the counter, looking for a blade or a razor, but found nothing. He turned back to his godson, his eyebrows raised.

"Are you gonna get dressed?" Sirius asked.

"Uh… dressed, yeah," came Harry's eloquent response. Just then Ginny came to stand next to Sirius, obviously wondering what was taking Harry so long.

"What are you hiding?" she asked immediately, her eyes narrowing. Harry looked between the two of them. Ginny crossed her arms defiantly across her chest. Ginny's eyes began scanning the room, just as Sirius' had, looking for a blade of some sort. She looked into the mirror and saw Harry's reflection.

"Harry, turn around," she said fiercely, her usually trusting and adorable brown eyes sparkling with fiery anger. Harry looked pleadingly at her, but she wouldn't be swayed. Harry looked at Sirius, who was looking at him questioningly. This could not get any worse, thought Harry as he slowly turned around, showing them the heavily scarred skin of his back. He heard two sharp gasps and felt small, gentle fingers trace the marks on his back. Harry looked behind him to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe, eyes closed and pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"Harry, who the bloody hell did this to you?" Sirius asked, his voice deceivingly and dangerously calm. Harry turned around to face him. Sirius didn't move.

"Uncle Vernon," he answered quietly. Sirius sighed loudly and Ginny broke down in sobs.

"Harry, why in the name of Merlin did you not tell anyone about this?" Sirius asked in the same calm voice.

"Because it's not important," Harry replied. Sirius sighed again.

"Harry!" Ginny scolded him, tears still leaving shining rivers down her pale, freckled face. "How on earth could you possibly think that this is not important? That monster is abusing you! He is beating you! Harry, this is child abuse!" Ginny was becoming hysterical now. "Why did you not tell Sirius? Or Dumbledore? Or me? Or anyone!?" Harry reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling him into his embrace as he had done so many times in the past couple of weeks.

"Ginny, it's alright. I'm alright." Harry stroked her hair, consoling her as she snuggled into his still naked chest.

"Harry, that's it. We're going to Dumbledore," Sirius said walking out of the room. Harry didn't bother arguing. It had taken a lot of persuasion to stop him going to Dumbledore last time; he knew he didn't have a hope in hell of stopping him this time. Of course, harry didn't know that they had already been to Dumbledore.

"Shh, Gin. It'll be alright. It's gonna be okay. I'm fine, it's all alright. We'll both get through this," Harry repeating the same meaningless reassurances in her ear that he used when she had a nightmare. They both knew it wasn't alright, but they could pretend, if only for a while.

A/N: Hello! I know that was a rubbish place to end it, but this chapter was getting quite long! I hope you enjoyed it, and please tell me what you thought! I would love some feedback, and I take into account any suggestions that I get! The next chapter should be up soon! Milo.