'Oh my God, Kaaate….'

'Caroline, hush my love, remember Lawrence' said Kate looking up and laughing before continuing her task of coaxing every last moment of pleasure from Caroline's overwrought body.

'God, Kate …' groaned Caroline collapsing in a heap beside her 'uhhh…..that was…mhmmm….Kate, what you do to me'.

Caroline lay limp for some time breathing heavily as Kate manoeuvred slowly and carefully back against the pillows. Having recovered sufficiently Caroline turned and curled into Kate's side entwining their legs and resting her head on her lover's chest. In this late stage of pregnancy being truly close wasn't easy but the two women had worked out that in this position they could hold each other without Kate becoming too uncomfortable.

Caroline loved this time, lying in Kate's arms, basking in the warmth of her body, being cocooned by the depth of her love was beyond wonderful.

'Kate, have I told you today how much I love you?'

'No you haven't, but then it is still quite early.'

Caroline chuckled 'Not good enough, nope, very remiss of me'

Turning slightly and looking up Caroline continued

'I love you Kate McKenzie, I love you as I have loved no other.'

Kate smiled gently and stroked Caroline's cheek

'I love you too Caroline Elliot, as I have loved no other' she mimicked

'Hmm' said Caroline nestling her head back onto Kate's chest 'that's another thing we are going to have to do something about.'

'Sorry, you've lost me'

'Elliot, that's John's name and not really one that we want attached to our baby or us. The boys will always be Elliot obviously but I think I need to revert to Dawson which would make us McKenzie-Dawson when umm…'

Kate lay very still waiting for what Caroline would say next.

There was a pause as Caroline gathered her thoughts. Now that it was about to become possible Caroline desperately wanted to ask Kate to marry her but to her mind this really wasn't quite the right moment to propose.

At heart Caroline was an old fashioned romantic and she wanted her proposal to be very special and very memorable for both of them. She had decided to ask Kate on Valentine's Day which was only a week away but, lack of attention while relaxing in the warmth of Kate's embrace had led her down a path she hadn't intended to follow this morning and she had very nearly let slip her plan.

'Well, no matter, that's for the future' she finally said somewhat lamely.

Kate suddenly realised that she had been holding her breath and exhaled carefully hoping Caroline wouldn't notice. If she was honest with herself she had thought Caroline was about to talk about marriage and her heart had leapt with delight. However, as Caroline so obviously closed down her train of thought the delight was rapidly followed by a sense of keen disappointment.

'Patience McKenzie' she thought to herself 'Caroline has come a such long way in a very short time, I just need to wait until she is ready.'

Caroline had sensed the stillness in Kate and had noticed the release of tension when she changed the subject. Was that good or bad? She couldn't decide, it troubled her though as she wasn't sure how she would cope if Kate said no.

She had been round and round her decision umpteen times in her head over the past few weeks, she was deeply in love and for her the ultimate expression of that love was to be married, to make a lifelong commitment in front of friends and family. Her worry though was that Kate would think she was rushing things again, that she was formulating and executing plans without input from, or consideration for, her partner. It was for this reason that she was determined her proposal had to be special, there had to be no suggestion that this was her practical mind at work; it had to be very clearly a request not an expectation, and also very clearly a request that came from her heart.

'But first' thought Caroline ruefully 'I have to get through today, I have to have one last attempt at healing the rift with my mother'

'We'll need to be moving soon love if we are to make the farm by lunch' said Caroline reluctantly

'Mmmm' said Kate as she continued to play lazily with Caroline's hair 'by the way, what did Gillian say when you called her last night.'

'Well, she's told my mother that we are coming for lunch but apparently there was remarkably little reaction to the news. She also said that there is a tension between my mother and Alan, he doesn't agree with the stand she's taking and won't listen to any complaints, won't even discuss the matter any more.'

'God Kate, it's going to be tough; I want to try and sort this out for all our sakes but particularly for Lawrence, he was so thoughtful when we talked that I can't let him down.'

Hearing the depth of emotion in Caroline's voice Kate leant forward to gently kiss the top of her head.

'I know my love but Lawrence won't look at it like that, he just wants you to try.'

They lay in a comfortable silence for a while until Caroline sighed deeply, disentangled herself from Kate's embrace and scooted up the bed so she could watch Kate's expression as she spoke.

'Kate you are sure you're all right about this, with me trying to make things up with my mother. She was so horrible to you I don't want you to feel I'm letting you down again.'

'We've discussed this many times since your chat with Lawrence sweetheart and you know I understand. I love you Caroline, I know you will never let me down'

x

In the early morning light Celia lay staring at the ceiling of her bedroom, she was trying to remember the last time she had had a good night's sleep, eventually she decided that it must have been before her wedding. Since then her days had been difficult but her nights had been impossible as she lived over and over what she saw as Caroline's disgraceful behaviour at the wedding reception and then their subsequent argument.

For at least twenty-five years Celia had told herself that her daughter wasn't a lesbian. In the early days she had always said it was just a phase brought on by Caroline being exposed too suddenly to too many liberal ideas. Everybody knew what students were like, they would try anything to assert their independence and this was just youthful rebellion on Caroline's part.

She had felt completely vindicated in this belief when Caroline had backed down and then later married John thereby fulfilling Celia's own middle class dreams. Even if she had never really liked John he was at least a man and nobody would be able point their finger at her for having raised a 'queer' daughter.

After John had left, when Kate was first mentioned, she had tried the same hardball tactics hoping to scare Caroline back into what she saw as a normal lifestyle. But here she had to grudgingly admit to herself she had forgotten Caroline was no longer a young girl; she was a successful independent woman who could no longer be bullied into following her mother's direction.

Even so, Celia still thought of Kate as being no more than an infatuation, an artefact of Caroline's mid-life crisis following John leaving. A phase from which Caroline would ultimately recover and as such she had decided, if only to save her relationship with Alan, to stop fighting and allow this thing to run its course. Maybe Caroline did like women but she didn't seem to want to admit that too openly plus, she had been married for nearly twenty years so she must like men as well, surely more Celia believed.

She would wait for Caroline to come to her senses and then she would make sure her daughter understood it was always best to listen to her mother, taking Caroline down a peg or two would do no harm.

All of this denial had fallen apart over Christmas when Caroline had not only made a public display of her relationship with Kate but had stood up to Celia and basically told her that Kate was more important to her than her mother. Celia and Caroline had had some fairly major arguments over the years but she had never faced such coldness, such indifference from her daughter. The tables had turned; it was now Caroline who was saying 'it's my way or no way', she had been furious, how dare Caroline do this to her.

She had been so sure that Caroline would regret making her relationship with Kate known at school; she was certain that a conservative establishment such as Sulgrave Heath wouldn't tolerate that kind of behaviour in their head teacher. In her anger Celia almost hoped Caroline would be humiliated by the public censure that would follow when her liaison with Kate became known, she almost hoped that Caroline would be crushed when she came to realise how much of a fool Kate was making of her. Celia looked on this as being cruel to be kind, she would certainly support Caroline when she came to her looking for help but that support would be at the price of Caroline again conforming to her mother's expectations.

So Celia had waited and during that first week when the family next door had been back at school she had watched their arrivals and departures with avid interest but there had been no sudden change in mood, no tension in their interactions, they had remained remarkably and irritatingly upbeat. Eventually Celia could take no more of seeing Caroline every day but not being part of her life and with Alan had retreated to Gillian's farm.

Now Caroline was coming for lunch but, and it was a big but, Kate was coming too so that must mean they were still together, presumably still playing at being love's young dream and presumably not having experienced any consequences from their relationship being in the public domain.

Still staring at the ceiling, still listening to Alan snoring steadily beside her Celia had to accept that this thing with Kate wasn't going to go away, it had survived some really rough patches but only seemed to grow in strength. She also had to accept that she was really only hurting herself, she was isolating herself from her only child and she knew she was damaging her relationship with Alan. Celia believed her husband still loved her but she knew he was disappointed with her and that she had diminished herself in his eyes.

This was going to be a difficult day, her sense of self preservation told her things couldn't continue as they were at present but if Caroline came out fighting her pride might overrule common sense.

Sighing deeply she nudged Alan.

'Come on love, time you were awake, we've a busy day ahead.'

x

Gillian offered a cheerful hug of welcome before ushering Caroline and Kate into the warmth of the farmhouse.

Alan rose smiling

'Caroline love, and Kate, how are you both.'

'Well thank you Alan' said Caroline giving him a peck on the cheek before scanning the room for her mother.

'Celia's upstairs love, I'll go tell her you're here' said Alan

Not a good sign thought Caroline, Celia would surely have heard the Jeep arrive but was obviously intending to keep them waiting. So be it, she could be adult for both of them.

Caroline turned to help Kate out of her coat before taking off her own.

'I'll hang these up and put the wine in the fridge' said Gillian 'make yourselves at home while I put the finishing touches to lunch.'

'Are you OK' said Kate quietly as she moved to take Caroline's hand. Kate was very worried about the affect today might have on Caroline knowing all too well how vulnerable was the underlying woman and how deeply Celia had hurt her daughter in the past.

'Mmm, as long as you're with me' said Caroline slipping her free arm around Kate and pulling her close, gaining strength from the contact of their bodies and the love so evident in those dark eyes that watched her so intently.

'Caroline'

Turning in response to her mother's voice Caroline was stunned by what she saw, Celia seemed to have aged perceptibly since she had last seen her; she had certainly lost weight and looked tired to the point of exhaustion. Caroline hadn't seen her mother look like this since she had found out about her husband Kenneth's many affairs.

'Mum, are you alright'

'Yes, yes, fine…..you look, well' she said almost accusingly, and she did thought Celia, true Caroline was flushed from the cold outside but it wasn't just that, there was an air of contentment no, of happiness about Caroline that Celia had never seen before.

Caroline's heart went out to her mother as she realised the significance of that simple statement.

Yes, she was well, but more than that, for the first time in her life when standing in front of her mother Caroline felt secure in her own identity, she no longer felt the underlying tension that had always characterised her relationship with Celia. She still loved her mother, she always would, but she no longer felt the need to continually gain her approval.

Caroline knew she had Kate to thank for this new found confidence, Kate who had healed the wounds Celia had so thoughtlessly inflicted, Kate who had shown her that she could be loved for no more than being herself.

Caroline moved without thinking to give her mother a welcome hug but Celia turned away before she could reach her and took a seat on the sofa opposite the fireplace, she had seen the look on Caroline's face and as much as she longed to hug her daughter she wasn't about to accept her pity. Caroline took a seat beside her mother while wordlessly responding to Kate's unspoken question and indicating that she should stay.

'I've missed you Mum, I don't ever remember a time in my life when we have gone so long without speaking and I have found it very hard.'

Celia looked up surprised by Caroline's frank admission; this wasn't the firecracker opening gambit she had expected.

'I keep remembering all the good times we had' continued Caroline 'all of the fun and laughter we shared. Funny but I even see those difficult times in my life when I needed a shoulder to cry on as being good times between us because I remember the love I felt when you held me and how I always knew I wasn't alone.'

'The thing is Mum I'm still the same person you shared those good times with, I'm still the same person you held and loved and protected for all those years. I haven't changed, I have been this person all of my life, the only thing that has changed is that at last I am being honest with you about who I am and I can't tell you how liberating that feels.'

Celia sat silently digesting Caroline's words.

'I love Kate Mum. I want to spend the rest of my life with her but there is still a place in my heart for you. I know it will take time and care to rebuild our relationship but if we can it will be so much stronger than before because it will be a relationship built on openness and honesty.'

Like Caroline Celia too had found their time apart very painful but even worse for her was that the pain of separation had been amplified by the disapproval of Alan and the growing chill in her relationship with her husband. Celia had spent the greater part of her life in a loveless marriage and the thought of repeating that with Alan terrified her. She knew that however much she still disapproved of Kate, to save her own marriage, she had to be reconciled with her daughter. As she had said to Alan she could just about accept Caroline being with a woman if Caroline didn't flaunt the relationship, that and the baby Kate carried still niggled away at the back of her mind.

Celia well remembered Caroline saying she didn't want another baby and that she planned to talk Kate out of getting pregnant, yet here she was playing happy families, taking on all of that responsibility again and for a child to whom she would have no blood ties. In Celia's world you could never love another's child the way you did your own.

'The baby…..?' began Celia

Caroline looked across nervously at Kate hoping that Celia wasn't about to become objectionable again. But Kate just smiled and turned to speak directly to Celia

'Celia, I can understand why you might think that I am using Caroline but its just not true, you must believe me. I know that you know I have been pregnant before and that I never carried to term. That was hard for me as I had always wanted to be someone's Mum but by the time I came to teach at Sulgrave Heath I had decided it wasn't going to happen and had pretty much given up on my dream.'

'Then I met Caroline and I fell head over heals in love; I fell in love with her Celia, the woman, not her position or the future security she could offer, I fell in love with her with no thought of a child in my mind. It was only much later when she told me that she wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together that I knew she was the one, the person with whom, if I could, I wanted to have a child.'

'We did some stupid things Celia and we hurt each other quite badly but we never stopped loving each other and finally that love has won through. We have a second chance and neither of us is going to waste the opportunity, I only hope you will choose to share this new life with us.'

The love in Caroline's eyes as she looked at Kate was so clear it almost took Celia's breath away, never in all the years that they had been together had she ever seen her daughter look at John like that, not even on their wedding day.

'But people, what will they say, why do you have to tell everybody' said Celia plaintively

'I don't want to hide anymore' said Caroline simply 'as I said I am still who I have always been, a loving mother, a good headmistress, a solid citizen, and if you'll let me, a loving daughter. I can't stop people talking Mum and I'm not daft enough to think we won't have to face bigotry and possibly even outright discrimination but I think I can deal with that when it occurs and none of that reflects on you.'

Caroline moved closer to her mother and carefully took hold of her hand with both of hers relieved beyond measure that her mother didn't pull away.

'I love you Mum, can you still love me as I am, for who I really am, will you come with me into the future?'

Celia did love her daughter, she may find the lifestyle she had chosen abhorrent but these weeks apart had shown her that she needed Caroline more than she had realised. She knew this was her last chance, if she rejected Caroline's overture there wouldn't be another and she didn't dare think of what that would mean for her future.

Caroline waited patiently for an answer sensing the struggle going on in her mother. She knew Celia couldn't change overnight but she hoped that by accentuating the positives in their relationship Celia would at least be willing to make an attempt at reconciliation.

Finally Celia looked up into her daughter's eyes and nodded mutely.

Feeling the tension in her body relax Caroline moved closer and pulled her mother into her arms. It was a start, no more, but it was a start.

Watching the two women as they sat wordlessly holding each other Kate realised she had been wrong. She had thought it was impossible for her to love Caroline any more than she already did but every day, little by little, this magnificent woman stole yet another piece of her heart.