A/N: When I wrote in the previous chapter that Bella said, "I can have children—according to my father's research" it DID NOT mean that he raped her. The tests were easy enough: Bella has periods, they did a scan of her stomach using an extra strong x-ray, and everything inside her looked alright, etc. Nothing overly intrusive.
And the rating has changed. Not due to the expectancy of smut or anything, but for violence and language.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just borrowing it for a bit. But I wonder what would happen if I didn't put a disclaimer in...
*******
Chapter Eleven.
As I hobbled past the stairs, walking unsteadily with the aid of crutches, I saw a crouching Rosalie eying me with distinct anger. I had no idea as to what I did, but then again, maybe she just hated me for me. Wouldn't surprise me. But I wouldn't—couldn't, to be more exact—attack first, so I kept moving, thinking about exploring the house.
Moving hurt, but pain was something I was used to. In my childhood, it was emotional pain. In later life, it was physical. None of it was new.
The sound of a clearing through pulled me from my thoughts. Lazily, slowly, I turned my head to look at Rosalie with an air of indifference. She huffed at my actions, something that I noted as immature. If I had to kill her, it wouldn't be too hard. All I would have to do is anger her, and it wouldn't be a stretch to the imagination to imagine her losing control in that fury. Simple, clean, no worries. Too bad I was temporarily disabled.
Staring at her, I resisted the urge to blink, and I guess after about two minutes of my dead gaze, I had unsettled Rosalie enough to force her to speak first.
"So, you beat Edward in a game of chess" she started, in what I perceived as a haughty tone. "Makes sense since he can't mind read off you to cheat..." Her hands smoothed out non-existent wrinkles in her tight red halter top, fixing it to cover up the top of her crisp faded jeans.
After a second, I finally realized that she was fidgeting. The sight was odd. Vampires rarely fidgeted. They could stay as still as stone with ease. Huh. This coven must have trained well to achieve such natural looking movements. Usually vampires had jerky or overly smooth movements, noticeable to humans and especially noticeable to me.
The tapping of her foot caught my attention, so I looked up at her. She was looking at me expectantly. "What?" I demanded, annoyed and irritated somewhat by this creature.
"Why are you so rude? I mean, we saved your life, and you treat us with such—"
"Don't lecture me!" I snapped angrily. "You brought me here when I was asleep, kidnapping me really, and you act as if your people are innocent? I can't believe this bullshit!"
"Hey," protested Rosalie with a hint of a snarl, "I didn't want to bring you—Edward and Alice did! They were so curious about how damn freaky you were, so they convinced Carlisle to allow you to wake up here. And look what we got from that! A vampire killer walking our halls. I should just kill you now, save us the trouble!"
Great, this chick was psychotically protective. This was going to be annoying. I could understand that she wanted her "family" safe, but Christ, she was getting on my nerves with her screeching.
"Ha, what an empty threat. I can defend myself with other means, your 'family' would hate to see me in peril—think of Alice—and there's the treaty to think about, too," I listed the reasons off with a grin. "I'd like to see you try, you silly, little girl."
"Calling me—me of all people—a little girl?" Rosalie growled at me. "I'm older and more mature than you'll ever be!"
"Being frozen until you're a billion years old doesn't constitute maturing to me," I laughed.
Edward came into the room, eying Rosalie with mild distaste. "Rose," he began in an indifferent voice, "come on, don't go reopening this topic again..." What topic?
"Shut the hell up, Edward," snarled Rosalie, now cracking her knuckles threateningly, still looking like she was posing for a cover shoot all the while. I had to admit that was impressive.
"Damn it, why are you so touchy?" I sighed, frustrated now, shifting on my crutches. "Is it because I kill vampires? 'Cause believe me, I don't really feel up to murdering a coven of them at the moment, so no worries."
"Children!" she exclaimed finally, after a moment of heavy pause. "You can have them!"
"Yeah," I confirmed. "So what?" At this offhand comment, she seemed to choke a little, a strange little noise erupting from her throat.
"Uh-oh," I heard Edward mutter, an almost amused sound, but with an undercurrent of warning in his tone. He was leaning casually against the wall, arms folded lazily, watching the scene unfold before his very eyes.
Subdued, she queried in a low voice, "Why wouldn't you want kids?"
"Why do you care?" I snapped.
"Just answer the damn question!" she shot back, the first sparks of anger and frustration dancing in her eyes.
"I'm not the mothering type," I said flatly. "My ... job, for lack of a better word, would probably traumatize them, injure them, or get them killed. I do not want such a burden on my shoulders."
Shifting the crutches under my arms, I continued with, "Also, I have an inkling that they'd be born with the same disorder I suffer." I was referring to my mix of human and vampire genes, not that those bloodsuckers would understand. "Would you want a child if they were forced to be a vampire?"
Edward glanced at me, almost seeming to ask with his eyes, What's so wrong with you that you wouldn't allow yourself to have kids?
No, no. I wasn't telling him anything about where I came from. Huh, but maybe I could tell him I was an alien or a fairy or something for a laugh. I mentally noted that down for another day.
As I finished talking, I made a move to walk away, growing uncomfortable around this pushy girl, who seemed to want to know the oddest things. But I froze on the spot when I heard her whisper, "Yes, I would if I could."
Calmly, I informed her, "Immortal children are banned. On this, I wholeheartedly back the Volturi's choice on the matter. It's rare to hear me say that."
"I know they are forbidden," she snarled. "I'm not stupid."
"Sounds to me like you are," I retorted.
"What do you know about it? You have the option of having a child, whereas I do not!"
Something similar to a dry sob left her body. It was strange to see a vampire attempt to cry. Her arm was wrapping itself around her stomach, and her body was quivering. I felt a quick pang of sympathy, but nothing else. She breached the topic with me first, of her own choice, and I bet she knew it would affect her like this.
But really, this panic attack or whatever it is was really random to unleash on me because I could have children.
"I have no option of having a child. I will never mate, nor would I pro-create. This is not a lifestyle a baby should be born into," I told her in a monotone.
"Crying won't help, Rose. Emmett's in the forest with the others, hunting," inserted Edward quickly. "You should go outside to calm down."
Looking her up and down, I said lightly, "If I could make another comment, I think you are too volatile and immature to have a child. Look at you here, breaking down so quickly over something you started." At this her head snapped up, eyes blazing in a torrent of flaming anger.
"How dare you imply—" she started.
"That you would be an unsuitable parent?" I finished for her. "Yes, that may be a bit harsh, but someone should tell you that." Her jaw dropped, and her eyes filled with anguish that quickly turned murderous. Automatically, my feet made to shift into a firmer stance, readying for a fight.
The sound of the front door opening, along with the smell of clean dog—something that mixed the scents of something animalistic and the sweet scent of shampoo or soap—alerted me to the fact that Jacob was back in the house. I felt a little calmer and relaxed on the surface, but my instincts flinched, still remembering the night my back was ripped open.
His hand touched my shoulder. "Back off, bloodsucker," he warned to Rosalie.
"Don't worry, Jacob," I said in a singsong voice. "Dear Rose here was just talking to me. Anyway, she couldn't come near me if she wanted. And there lays the problem for her. She can't get near me." I pushed her back, telling her mind to step back, an evil grin spreading on my face, revealing my pointed teeth.
Pointing at her legs, I suggested to Jacob, "Watch."
Rosalie's torso was stretching out, trying to get near me to land a blow, I guess. However, slowly and surely, her feet were moving back, closer to the staircase, moving back without her own command.
Smiling faintly, I walked off, my crutches clacking obnoxiously, ignoring Rosalie's anger and the strange and wondering looks Edward and Jacob gave me.
*******
Four days of silence from Rosalie. Her immature cold-shouldering just re-enforced what I said. I didn't mind the peace away from her, but I thought it might have made the others turn against me, you know, protect your own and whatnot. But they reacted with varying degrees of understanding to Rosalie's odd behavior.
Carlisle and Esme were seemingly saddened and upset when they learned of our disagreement, so I stayed clear of them for a while. However, they didn't seem to treat me differently at all. Emmett, I rarely saw, because he stayed with Rosalie, and she stayed away from me.
Alice—needing me to learn of her past—and Jasper—who was connected to Alice—kept trying to talk to me, see if I was all right or something. For some reason, Alice kept dropping me clothes, but the only things I would except were the baggy sweatpants and sweatshirts she left; every other outfit was tight fitting and stylish, but on the whole, inconvenient. Edward remained aloof, but we had played another few games of chess together, but usually when Jacob had to do his mandatory tasks for the La Push pack.
Once, I asked Edward about the painting. Sometimes I had found myself wandering back to it, just to stare at it. It intrigued me like nothing else.
"When did you paint that painting near the basement entrance?" I had asked casually in the middle of a riveting game of chess—he refused to partake in a game of Monopoly on the principle that 'colours' was not a good reason to play.
Jacob was currently running through his night shift at La Push, so we had all night long to play a special version of chess that Edward introduced me to. Apparently, his family usually played with multiple boards and multiple sets at once. It was much more difficult and interesting. Usually he won though, having more experience on his side with this version of the game.
"Hmm?" asked Edward, only paying my words half their deserved attention as he snapped up my second-last queen with a well placed pair of rooks and a knight.
Repeating the question, I moved my busiest bishop to remove one of his more important rooks and threaten his main king simultaneously. As he mused over the answer, he rubbed his jaw, and moved his queen forward six paces, protecting his king and threatening my own.
Damn it! I growled and tried to think of a way out of it when he finally answered.
"I was wondering when you'd ask me that from the moment you spoke to my father about it." It still weirded me out that these vampires referred to each other as one big happy family. Didn't that imply some level of incest? I wondered. He started talking and drew the conversation to the forefront of my thoughts.
"I painted that particular one after my rebellious phase. When I went out from home to be a bad guy and slaughter all the naughty humans." He shot me a dark glance accompanied with a sad smirk before looking back down at the multiple boards.
I don't know if I was comfortable talking about mindless slaughter with him, so I deftly asked, "Let me guess, you're the angel that was cast from Heaven into Hell?" I finally moved my bishop and hoped for the best.
"Not really," he responded, shifting his own bishop. "I was just trying to voice my feelings."
"So going back on the 'vegetarian' diet was like getting sent to Hell?" I pursed my lips and sent my knight forward.
"Yeah, to be honest. You drink blood. You know the difference between the allure of animal and human blood." Yeah, and thank any damn holy deity for Jacob finding another more competent butcher to feed me with. The blood was fresher with almost no salt. Still stale bread though, compared to the chocolate cake that is fresh blood.
"Is that why the angel is painted red?" I realized quickly. "To represent blood?"
"It still makes me feel weird that you got the message so quickly," he mused as he executed a perfect 'castling' move. "Sometimes I wonder whether we are on the same wavelength or not. I can't read your mind, but sometimes I think you can read mine."
Frowning, I finally got a pawn to the opposite end of the board and exchanged it for a lost queen. "Mind reading may not be the strangest thing I've seen, but it still unnerves me to know you know what everyone's thinking." He paused and moved his king to the left by two spaces.
"Everyone but you," he pointed out, wincing as I took away a queen of his. The only light in the room was from the fireplace, blazing strongly; it's warmth making me feel sleepy for the first time in days. Edward's face flickered in and out of shadows, eerie in the setting.
"Thank fuck for that," I sighed in response, moving the white queen to the growing pile of discarded pieces. I didn't like the thought of anyone rummaging around in my head.
"Why do you curse so much?" Edward asked me with a strange suddenness.
"Bad role models?" I said, the response coming out more of a question than a statement. "How do you avoid curses?" I asked him in return, with the same curiosity lacing my tone.
"Good role models?" shot back Edward with an uneven grin, one side of his lips tugging higher than the other, leaving it crooked. That was the first time I smiled properly at him, an honest smile with no hidden agendas, showing my front teeth and sharp canines.
That night was a good one. It was the first time I felt fully comfortable around a vampire. Strange, but true.
*******
Except that level of comfort did not transform into any level of trust. I had been here four days, not including the time when I was unconscious or asleep. On the third night, I was getting tired, needing sleep. Usually, I slept one night for every three days. Extending that period was usually bad for me, so I tried to keep to the cycle.
I could not sleep with vampires around, so I had to ask Jacob for some help. Well, Jacob was intent on helping me as much as possible, so it was more me telling him about the issue. I liked how he was repaying me with actions, but sometimes his over protectiveness when it came to the Cullen clan tired me out.
"Jacob," I had said. "Would you be so kind as to sleep with me?" I hadn't thought my words through, but I certainly did then when Jacob started coughing and spluttering. Upstairs, I was sure I heard some booming laughter before it was cut short.
Thumping him on the back, I quickly elaborated, "Not sex, you idiot. Actual sleep." With a laugh, I hurriedly informed him of my sleeping patterns, and how the scent of vampires affected my dreams. But I didn't tell him how vulnerable I was when I slept, even though he had a high chance of finding out later.
"So I've noticed that your unique smell just rubs that all out. Not to mention, you're warm, so you're like a big bed heater," I finally concluded. Although his scent still triggered shivers down my spine and an on the rare occasion, the overwhelming instinct to flee, it was still generally better than the sickly sweet odor of vampires. I hoped his warmth would be enough to keep me sane in my mental nighttime wanderings.
"Oh, when you put it like that," said Jacob sarcastically, rolling his eyes, but following me to my room anyway.
My room was at first decorated in the same style as the rest of the bland house, but I found some bright red covers for the bed, and added a few sky blue pillows. It wasn't much, but it was an improvement. All I needed now were some sparkles. Ha, yeah right.
He sat on the bed, and I sat gingerly near him, making sure not to squash any sensitive areas. It was strange to be so close to Jacob in such an intimate setting, but the feeling was not unwelcome.
And he was warm. His heat seemed to seep into my very bones, lulling me, relaxing me.
Yawning, I tried to ask, "Is this okay?" My head seemed to grow heavy, and I rested it on his chest, wondering for a brief moment as to why Jacob seemed to have absolutely no chest hair. Wasn't being part dog meant to make him uber hairy or something?
I think Jacob was telling me it was fine, but I was beginning to mumble, "You're so nice and warm. You're like your own sun. It's wonderful..."
At this, Jacob started stroking my hair, and although I would have normally protested to such actions, so friendly and intimate, I couldn't be bothered. Anyway, the feeling was nice, and drove me to sleep so much faster.
I fell asleep with a smile, and my dreams featured wolves running across water, trying in vain to catch the moon's reflection, only to howl in despair as their feet sent ripples that broke the image to bits.
And I saw a huge black wolf jump up into the sky to rip a star from the heavens, a glowing rock shaped like a child caught between its jaws, struggling helplessly to escape, a high pitched squeal emitting when the wolf swallowed it whole, engulfing the world in sudden darkness, before the wolf itself began to glow like some dark fire.
It was amazingly enthralling. These were the dreams I longed for. So I sighed happily as I watched the other wolves yelp and run to catch their own star. Soon there were a pack of wolves that glowed like black flames running across the waters…
*******
A/N: Chapter was short, I know. Really more of a filler chapter.
Sorry for talking chess so much. I love chess.
Bella was being a bitch to Rosalie, too much so, I think. But they'll get better as time moves on. Patience.
Send me some love this way, and I'll send some right back!
Have a cookie for reading!