Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer
This chapter is dedicated to Noble, Fadewind and bibika94
Tobias
It has been seven years, seven months, three weeks and one day since my Essie went cold. It is May seventeenth and I am waiting for Court to begin. Aro is stretching out the opening of proceedings as he places his hand on top of Essie's head while she communicates to him the order of the day. I feel sometimes that Aro does this in such a way as to remind me who is the leader here and that everyone eventually bends to him. I thought my Essie never would.
Jane catches my eye and she looks upset. She hates to see Essie treated this way because if there is one thing Jane has always stood by it is the fact that she joined the Volturi of her own accord. She had no need for Chelsea to bind her. She would have preferred Essie to have taken this stance too, but secretly Jane thinks that Essie is now as much a slave to Chelsea's bindings as the majority of the Volturi.
I disagree with her on this, but I dare not argue and push away the only ally I have left in my fight to bring my Essie back. Long have we worked toward this end and tenacious Jane has yet to turn her back since the time she decided to help me…
"Essie, I have a special assignment for you to undertake for me." Aro said with a smile as he greeted us that morning about a year after Malachite had left.
"Yes Master." Essie said without inflection as she stared impassively ahead.
"I wish for you and Tobias to go with Jane when she accompanies young Trinity to her new home and see that she is comfortable." He announced.
"As you command Master. What time do you wish us to leave?"
"Jane is ready now if you are." Aro stated.
"Then we leave now." Essie said. "Come Tobias, Jane waits for us in the garage."
I followed Essie down into the bowls of the castle to where the cave like garage was situated. Jane was indeed waiting for us as she stood next to a limousine.
"We have a driver today." She announced. "We have to make sure that Trinity is comfortable on the journey."
"Who is Trinity?" I asked as Essie continued to stare at nothing.
"She's the half blood we adopted last year. She has spent the last year with Goodwin whilst she reached full maturity and now that she has she can be taken to her new home. I have no idea where it is, apart from the fact that it's on an island in the south. We must travel by boat once we reach the coast, but enough talking, let's depart."
Without another word Essie climbed into the back of the limo. She paused for a moment before she took her seat and when I climbed in after her I realised she had chosen the place she could be furthest away from the young woman who was sat up close to the partition that separated the back from the driver.
Trinity glanced quickly at us as I took my seat but then her eyes returned to her hands that were clasped in her lap. I realised that she was afraid of us. I wished to tell her there was no need to fear us, yet I had no idea if this were true or not. For all I knew we could be accompanying the girl to her execution.
I hoped this wasn't the case for Trinity reminded me of Ebony with her dark hair and blue eyes.
It was that similarity which made me want to comfort her, but I feared right now any gesture of comfort would frighten her even more. Especially if it were offered by Lady Jane or myself. I knew that Essie might be able to comfort the girl, Essie seemed to have a knack for making people feel at their ease, but I knew Esther-Marie wouldn't comply. My Essie was trapped beneath the ice and could not respond to the soul that cried out for help. She needed help herself.
The car journey was fairly short, but the journey on the boat lasted a day. I had no idea where they were taking us, although I believed it to be an island the Volturi owned in the middle of the Mediterranean. It was amazing how humans kept away from the island for it was rumoured to be cursed.
It was dark by the time we arrived and Trinity had fallen asleep in the cabin. Essie had not bothered with sleep; she was sat out on the prow gazing out over the dark water as the lights of the island drew closer. I wished that I could read her mind to know what she was thinking, but that option was not open to me.
Jane came to my side as the boat drew in to port.
"Does something seem strange to you Tobias?" She asked.
"In what way?" I replied.
"The scent here. What does it remind you of?"
I sniffed at the air and froze.
"Half vampires." I whispered. "The whole place is scented with them."
"Yes." Jane agreed and I was sure her thoughts were running along the same lines as my own as we both glanced toward Essie who was moving from her perch on the prow.
"I will wake Trinity and inform her that we have arrived." She said flatly before she disappeared below.
"I could order her to stay aboard." Jane whispered.
"Aro ordered Essie to accompany Trinity to her new home and see that she is comfortable." I replied in a low voice.
"I could state that the Master requested that only I set foot on the island with the girl." Jane suggested.
"Essie will know you lie."
"Yes." Jane said sadly.
We both turned to the sound of footsteps as Essie came back on deck followed by Trinity.
"Let us not waste time." Essie stated before she stepped off the boat.
She held out a hand to Trinity and helped the girl from the boat while Jane and I both alighted too.
"There is a house." Essie stated.
"Yes." Jane replied.
"You know the way."
"Of course." Jane said, sounding affronted.
"Then you will lead." Essie ordered.
Jane scowled slightly, but didn't retaliate, merely walked on ahead while Essie followed at Trinity's side and I brought up the rear. As we began up the sandy path there was the sound of boat engines and we four turned in time to see the boat pull out of the harbour.
"We are stuck here?" Jane said in disgust. "This was not part of our orders."
"We are to see that Trinity is comfortable in her new home. It will take a few days to see this through." Essie said flatly. "The boat will be back in time."
"Of course." I replied, but would it be in time for Essie?
We had no choice but to carry on up the path to the house atop the cliffs. As we grew nearer the house the scent of half-vampires intensified and I had to wonder how many resided here and from where they had all come.
I kept a close eye on Essie, yet she didn't appear to have noticed.
Finally we reached an area that had been tiled. A long table was set up with twenty chairs surrounding it. There were signs of a finished meal but the dirty dishes had been left on the table. I felt my hands itch, longing to clear them away, but then I was on guard as a figure emerged from the house.
She came out into the night air, the garden lamps casting a warm glow in her ginger hair. She gathered up a pile of plates and didn't seem to notice as we moved closer. We stepped onto the tiles and it was at this point that she turned to us and jumped.
"Oh my!" She said. "You didn't half give me a fright skulking in the darkness like that. You must be the ones Uncle Aro told us were coming. Sorry we have finished dinner, but the little ones were getting hungry and they needed to be fed. Please come inside."
I frowned at the girl for there was something familiar about her but I couldn't quite place what it was. As we followed the girl into the inner dining room I felt there was something familiar about the colour of her hair now that she was under the electric lights. She turned to us and I could see a resemblance in the sharp lines of her face, although the cobalt eyes threw me for a while.
"We can talk in here." She said pleasantly before calling. "Ariel?"
Another girl appeared, this one was around the same height as the first one, but her face was heart-shaped beneath her sandy hair. Her lips were full and with her hair set in ringlets and wearing a light cotton summer dress she looked almost as if she had stepped out of a painting by Botticelli. I looked to Jane who was scrutinizing Ariel closely and somewhat suspiciously for it was clear the half-vampire shared her face.
"Yes Lilly?" Ariel said lightly.
"Please show Trinity to her room and see if she requires food from the kitchen. She is welcome to anything she requires this night. I must talk with our patrons."
"Yes Lilly." Ariel said with a slight curtsy before she led Trinity away.
"Please take a seat." Lilly said indicating the chairs around the table and I waited for the ladies to sit before I did. "I am glad you are to stay with us for a while." She said with a smile.
"We are?" Jane demanded.
"Yes. Uncle Aro said you are to stay with us for a week. You are to leave on the ship which brings the food." She stated.
"I cannot stay that long!" Jane exclaimed. "I was due on the hunt tomorrow."
"You must feed?" Lilly asked. "Fear not, there are a few humans left in the pantry. We ration them, but since the ship is due next week I'm sure we can spare three."
"I only need one to tide me over." Jane stated.
"I can offer you no more than one, but it would be wrong of me to offer you and not your companions."
"Thank you for the offer but my wife and I do not drink the blood of humans." I stated.
"Oh. You are these animals drinkers Uncle Aro has told us of. I never thought I would meet one in my life, never mind two." Suddenly she was in front of me, and gazing into my eyes. "They really are gold." She stated and something about the way she twitched her head as she said it made me think of Layla, it must have been the ginger hair.
Lilly had resumed her seat as she looked at the three of us.
"There are animals around in places if you need to feed. But nothing big I'm afraid."
"Thank you for your kind offer." Essie said. "Where is your bathroom?"
"You wish to freshen up after your journey?" Lilly asked.
"I need the lavatory." Essie replied.
"Oh…but…" Lilly trailed off in confusion before she smiled in delight as realisation dawned. "You are the great Ester-Marie Uncle Aro told me so much about."
"Yes." Essie agreed flatly.
"The water closet is under the stairs." Lilly stated as she pointed to the stairs.
"Thank you." Essie said, and she rose to her feet and went to use the bathroom.
"To think that is Esther-Marie." Lilly mused, sounding a little star struck. "And am I right in thinking that you are Tobias?" She asked me.
"Yes." I replied.
"And it's good to see you again Aunty Jane." Lilly said pleasantly. "I did not recognise you out on the terrace, but I do now."
"I…I know not of what you talk." Jane said with a frown. "How do you know me?"
"I remember you were there when I was born."
"I haven never attended the birth of a half blood." Jane stated emphatically.
"But I remember you there." Lilly said with a frown. "You were the first one to hold me when they took me from my mother. You nursed me for a week, but then they brought me here and I didn't see you again."
"I… I…" Jane was looking confused and I had a feeling I knew what had transpired.
"Do you suddenly find a void in your memory, as if there is a barrier in your thoughts?" I asked.
"Yes." Jane answered and suddenly she looked angry, but she controlled it quickly in front of Lilly.
Jane was very angry, but she wouldn't speak this anger in front of those she couldn't trust. She didn't trust the half vampires. Not because they were untrustworthy but merely because they may inform on her in innocent conversation. After all, Lilly had revealed a lot to us without realising. I decided that I would question Jane later when those who required sleep were resting.
I placed the thoughts aside for later since I was unsure of what powers the inhabitants possessed. Besides Essie had returned, and Lilly was in full swing of entertaining us now. It was rather late when she turned in for the night and left us sitting in the dining room. She had offered Essie a bed, but Essie refused it.
Once Lilly had left, Essie drifted to the far end of the table, away from Jane and I. Jane watched her carefully then turned to me in question.
"Essie likes to be alone to think." I whispered.
Jane nodded and was quiet for a very long time. All three of us were.
"Tobias I think I may remember her." Jane said after around two hours.
I looked to Jane and waited for her to proceed.
"How do I have this sudden picture of a baby in my head? A baby with red hair and smiling blue eyes? A baby who is the daughter of my brother? Why only now do I see?" Jane asked with a frown that was a mixture of anger and confusion.
"Because the Fire Twins took your memories." I informed her.
"But why would they do that?" She demanded. "Do you think it happened when the turned rogue?"
"Jane. Lilly stated her age as being forty; I do not think the Fire Twins were rogue at that point. If they took your memories they were acting upon orders." I said pointedly.
"My Master's orders?" Jane asked in disbelief.
"It is unlikely they followed the orders of someone else." I stated.
"But why would he do this to me?" She asked. "I have been nothing but loyal to him. I have kept his secrets. Why take my niece from me?"
"Was there anything you did forty years ago that may have incurred his wrath?"
"I have been nothing but loyal. I have always served him well…" Then Jane trailed off with a gasp. "That was when Marcus, Caius and I were in league to wipe the memory of Nessie. I wished to send Nessie away out of friendship, although I disguised it as petty jealousy, Marcus did it out of affection for he did not wish Nessie to be bound to Aro, and Caius did it just to get rid of her before Aro had the idea to make half bloods of his own. It was when the newborn Masen refused to feed on the girl who courted death that Aro formed his plan. I remember now." Jane gasped. "He wanted me to befriend the girl in order to talk her around to the idea. That there may be side effects, but we could save her with venom and she longed to be a vampire so what was the harm? She agreed fairly easily although she was unsure of lying with my brother since he looked so young. I had to point out the fact that he was many hundreds of years old and told a little lie that he was eighteen when changed; he merely looked young for his age. That seemed to satisfy her mind enough."
Jane let out a growl.
"Alec loved that girl. It was the first time he'd ever felt something for a girl he liased with other than sexual gratification. They were happy about the baby, they were so happy. They spoke of raising it together in the halls of Volterra once Lileth had accustomed herself to her new state. She inquired of Masen and asked why he had said no and when she heard of the vegetarian diet that is what she wanted for her and her child. But Aro didn't like the idea. He wanted the child for himself. He wanted to raise the child to be a true Volturi and that meant no bond greater than the one to him.
"He placed the baby in my care while they prepared Lileth for the change. I thought that Alec remained at her side through the entire thing because he loved her so and he was set to become her trainer. I realise now that they had already robbed him of memory by that point and they had attempted to do it to Lileth. They tried to take her memories as she burned in the fire of change."
"No wonder they broke her mind." I gasped. "Our Layla said you broke her mind and you did. I wonder if she remembers she has a daughter?"
"Oh. Poor Layla! To think I teased her something rotten, and she was the mother of my niece. She deserved more respect." Jane said sadly and if I didn't known any better I could have sworn that she was crying. "And he forgot he loved her. How could he forget? Even without the memories the feelings should still be there." Jane frowned, "And they must have had some basis for truth for he never showed the same devotion to the others who came after. There were fifteen in all and Aro wiped my mind every time. Alec had his mind altered too and he forgot. He does not know he has these children out here on this island who laud their Uncle Aro."
I felt sorry for Jane in that moment. She was clearly enraged by what had befallen her and I had no idea if it was the fact that Aro had violated her trust or had denied her access and the very knowledge of her nieces and nephews. Perhaps it was the fact that Aro had taken away Alec's only chance at love since I believe she felt somewhat guilty of having dragged him into her own tangled love life that had led them to the stake.
Regardless of the reason, this whole incident had hurt Jane greatly and I wondered how it would affect her as a loyal subject.
"Perhaps you should tell him." I suggested.
"And have him suffer this pain too?"
"If I had children out there somewhere in the world then I would wish to be informed." I said softly.
"But you know the pain of loss and to find them safe would bring you relief. My brother knows nothing of these children and to know they are here and unavailable to him…" Jane shook her head.
"You know Alec better than most. I will leave the decision up to you." I stated.
"Thank you." Jane said with a relieved sigh. "Now if you'll excuse me I need time alone to think."
"Of course." I replied.
Jane nodded her head before she rose to her feet and headed for the door to go outside.
Once Jane had left I looked to Essie who was sitting very still with her hands pressed to the tabletop. Her face was impassive as ever but I couldn't help but sense a flicker of thought behind it. Would this island of half vampires be the thing she needed to be free of her icy prison?
I watched her the entire night, but nothing much happened. She merely sat there staring ahead and all was as normal until the next morning.
I had moved to sit beside Essie and she had shown no objection or moved away so I was still beside her when the half vampires came in for their breakfast. The first thing I noted was the fact that they were all of them adults and I took this to be par of the course since Trinity had waited out the year to be fully grown before she was brought here, but then I heard something that filled me with dread. It was the running feet of children.
Two pairs of feet were running down the stairs and suddenly before us stood a boy and a girl. The boy was pale with dark hair and brown eyes. He gave me a wide smile as the girl took his hand. Russet on pale, I felt my body freeze in vampire shock as the little girl, so clearly Native American, although I doubted she was Quileute, smiled at me also.
"Are you Tobias?" The boy asked in a clear voice that seemed strange coming from the mouth of a nine year old.
"That I am." I managed to say.
"Oh goody." The girl sung. "Uncle Aro said you are most fun."
"He said you tell the best stories."
"He is mistaken." I said flatly, trying not to let my agitation get the better of me and take it out on these children.
I was agitated for the very fact that these two little half vampires were the age my own children would be had they survived. They looked around nine or ten, which put them at the true age of three. I felt it intolerable to sit here and have to look upon these faces that could very well have been my own children.
I felt Essie stir beside me.
"I need air." She gasped and she ghosted out through the door.
"I must go." I said stiffly and I left without another word to follow Essie.
I found her standing on a cliff edge looking down at the Mediterranean as the azure lapped lazily against the rocks. This was not the wild cold waters of the Pacific, but no less deadly should my beloved throw herself in.
"I am only looking." She said flatly as she held to the branch of a scraggly Cyprus, "I had to see."
"See what?" I asked.
"I had to…I need air." She whispered and then she was gone again.
I stood on the cliff looking down into the water as I contemplated how long it would take me to swim back to the main land and if I could get Essie to do this too. Then I felt something I hadn't felt in such a long time I thought it was a reaction of my own body at first, but there was no denying that the sudden twisting lurch in my heart was Essie's pain. My chest felt so tight and I could feel the panic build.
I fought the feelings that threatened to take me as I stumbled along the cliff top toward her.
I found her down in a sand pit. She was sat on her haunches rocking back and forth as she tried to get her breath back. I found it hard to breathe myself as I dropped down in front of her.
"Essie?" I called. "Essie look at me."
"I…I can't… I mustn't." She whispered. "Must keep them safe. Will keep them safe."
Suddenly she shot to her feet and to my horror I saw the ice harden, thicken more than ever. I could actually feel the cold through my own body and I felt despair as I knelt before her wondering how my Essie could survive buried in that cold. I felt the tears that would never fall and in desperation I threw my arms around her legs, burying my face into the skirts of her robes.
"Please come back to me my Essie." I begged. "I need you back here with me."
I felt her stroke her hand through my hair before she dropped it back to her side.
"I am sorry." She whispered. "The cold is necessary."
I knew she was resolved in this matter and I dropped my own arms.
"I'm sorry." She whispered again, and then she was gone.
And there was I, Tobias, the ancient vampire, brought to my knees in a sand pit as the grief wracked through me. I cared not if I were discovered as I brought my hands to my face in despair. The sobs wracked my body and how I longed for the tears to fall, but never they would. I was vampire and I could emulate a human but I could never be one. I had to break Essie to realise this.
I have no idea how long I remained in that pit but it was Jane who found me in the end.
"Tobias?" She said carefully. "What ails you?"
I was too much in despair in that moment to care who my confidant was.
"I have lost her Jane." I said, shaking my head in sadness. "I have lost my Essie forever."
"No you have not." Jane said fiercely, and to my surprise she embraced my head to her chest as I was still kneeling in the sand. "We have not lost her. We will get her back. No matter what it takes I will see your beloved returned to you. We will thaw her out."
"She is lost."
"But she can be found." Jane said firmly, pushing me away from her. "We will find her."
"All hope is lost." I murmured.
"No." Jane stated.
"It is." I said, finally able to accept the inevitable.
"Tobias Seruvus, you have the strongest will I know. You will bring Essie back and if you don't stop this silliness right now I will burn you." She growled.
"I am weak. I am weak." I murmured.
I felt the fire rip through me, an echo of that long ago time when the venom had sought the change in me. It was intense but passed in a moment and I looked up at Jane in shock.
"I warned you." She said unrepentant. "Now up off your knees, the Tobias I know wouldn't scrabble in the dirt. He would get up and brush that dirt off. The Tobias I know doesn't cry about bad situations, he works to remedy them. Most importantly, the Tobias I know would never give up on his Essie."
As strange as it sounds, Jane's pep talk was the thing that I needed and I rose to my feet, ready to fight for my Essie until there wasn't a breath in my body. Even then I would continue to fight. I would continue to fight for my Essie until I am ash...
It was from that day forth that Jane became my ally and she has remained staunch ever since. The pack gave up around two years ago, they have other things to concentrate on other than a werewolf who has lost her fire and refuses to acknowledge it is something she had in the first place. Holly gave up around a year ago, although she will not admit to it, I know she has decided that Essie is a lost cause.
The only one who still has faith, apart from myself of course, is Jane. I doubt she will ever give up on Essie, especially since she had been worrying after Alec until her news this morning. I had not given much thought to his absence until she came to me two weeks ago…
"Tobias, I am worried about Alec." She said without proper greeting.
"Why?" I asked.
"Haven't you noticed his absence from Court the last three months? He is on an assignment somewhere but Aro won't tell me where. I've tried all means to contact my brother, but nothing. I wouldn't worry, but Aro hides his location from me. Why would he do this?"
"If Alec is working deep undercover then there is no contact." I stated.
"You know that is as untrue as much as I do. There is no such thing as 'no contact' unless Aro requests it. No. Alec is doing something Aro knows I would object to. But what is it that my brother would do that I would object to? He is more reserved than I. If anyone is likely to turn down an assignment it is he. Especially since he is vegetarian now."
"He is?" I asked in surprise.
"He did not come to you for advice?" Jane asked with a frown.
I shook my head.
"How strange. Alec told me that you had talked him around to the vegetarian way and that you were instructing him. Why would my brother lie to me?"
"Why would you lie to Alec?" I asked.
"If Aro had ordered me to." Jane answered without thought.
"Therein lies your answer."
"Aro ordered Alec to lie to me?" Jane asked, sounding angry.
"Perhaps."
"But what is it that my brother does that I would find so objectionable they feel they must lie to me?" Jane asked again, as if I would know the answer now when I didn't only moments before.
"Sadly I am not the mind reader. If I was then I would read my Essie's mind and know exactly how to fix her."
"Yes." Jane agreed with a sigh.
"Of course we could always guess." I suggested. "What do you know?"
"That Alec has taken all the papers relevant for his Russian alias, Aleksandr Ulyanov, other than that I have no idea."
Our conversation led to nothing, but I felt strangely comforted by the fact that Jane had chosen to confide in me. It brought greater hope that with her help I could get my Essie back…
But as Court begins in earnest I must concentrate.
Court is predictably routine this evening and I would give anything to turn my mind to idle thoughts to help quell the monotony, but I cannot afford to do so. I cannot lose myself in shallow dreaming while my Essie remains trapped in her prison of ice.
As ever I watch her carefully in the hope that I see something there that will assure me that my hope is not in vain. I know my Essie is still in there and all I need is some indication that this is true. Anything! Even a blink of the eyes that falls out of synch of her normal routine would give me the proof I need.
The hope I crave…
There is a change in Essie's posture, not much that anyone other than perhaps I would note, but it is a change none the less. I swear that a look of worry fell across her face before she concealed it from the Court. Her eyes become focused on the assembled vampires and although her face is still a smooth, emotionless mask, I know it to be one of Essie's devising. I hope that she has reclaimed her body and I am not foolishly imagining it.
Do I suddenly feel the call of her mind after all these years?
Now it is my turn to draw on a stoic mask and ignore my inner please of hope. There is nothing to hope for, merely my imagination once more.
Then Essie speaks in a murmur and I am sure she is trying to imitate the monotone of Esther-Marie and I hope no one else has noticed.
"Excuse me Master. But I am feeling wary. May I go and rest for an hour or two?"
"Of course Esther-Marie." Aro replies without indication that he suspects her to be returning to me.
Is she returning to me?
He merely smiles at her despite the fact that she interrupted his speech. Aro has long since realised that he could get a lot out of my Essie for the small price of allowing her to sleep when she requires it. But she slept only this morning and it is unlike her now to sleep every day as she tries to fend off the dreams. I feel the flicker of hope.
"And my mate too?" She enquires and her eyes meet mine briefly and I control myself, as that flame of hope grows bigger.
"Yes. Tobias," Aro says as he turns to me, "please escort Esther-Marie to your chamber."
As if he need ask.
"Yes Master." I reply and I keep my face devoid of emotion as I move to give my hand to Essie and I help her stand.
She leans on me slightly as we leave the Audience Chamber. There have been many occasions we have left like this for she has left it too long to sleep. Then we move along the corridor. Essie is urging us to move swiftly while at the same time trying to keep a normal pace. It's as if she is trying to keep to her charade, but I am certain her mask is slipping.
I pray it is not foolish hope for there are a few occasions when I have thought she is coming back to me only to be severely disappointed.
We are in our chamber now and Essie is facing the door. She is leaning her forehead against it as she breathes heavily and there are tremors running through her body. I hesitate to touch her, unsure if I am truly seeing the return of my Essie. But if she is making a return then I must encourage her.
"Essie?" I ask carefully as I reach my hand out to her and place it gently on her shoulder. "You're shaking." I observe and with that she turns her face to me and I see the thing I never thought would adorn it again. "And smiling?" I add in wonder and my hope truly ignites.
Could it be possible…
Tune in next week to find out :D
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