That night, Edward came to visit me.

I didn't have to move, I didn't have to open the window, I just felt him there in the room. He was really there. After so long, I was still attuned to his very presence. He smiled at me sadly.

I closed my eyes and pulled the blankets over my head.

"No," I said thickly. "You're not real, go away."

"Bella, please."

"I don't hear you anymore. Please just go away."

Cold, marble hands gently removed the blanket from my face. I let him pull it down to my shoulders until we could both stare at each other—him in wonder and me in a dazed and emotionless stupor. In my numbed state I barely registered the implications of his existence. It was my first time seeing him since he left me to die in the forest. My first time seeing him since he told me that he didn't love me. But none of that mattered now.

"I know you're with Jacob Black," he said softly. His voice sounded like a slow melody drawn across a piano.

I sighed and huddled further into my blankets. I didn't want to deal with any of this. My heart thumped limply in my chest like a dying fish trying to flop its way back to water. I was surprised that I didn't feel more shock or pain at his return—to be perfectly honest I didn't feel anything. But that was because it wasn't about Edward anymore. I'd set those bones to rest long ago. He was right when he told me his options of staying in Forks or leaving me to live a normal life—I was human. I would adjust. Except the only reason I found a way to survive was through Jake. And with my emotional cardio defibrillator gone…what else did I have?

"Oh Edward, what have I done?" I whispered brokenly, suddenly feeling an overwhelming surge of pain course through me. I reached out for him and he silently positioned himself on my bed so that I could crush myself to his torso. I cried all over his silk shirt while he gently rubbed my back and whispered soothing words to me.

"Bella…Bella…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

I cried harder when I heard his voice. There was so much to take in and Edward simply allowed me to shed the heaviness in my soul through my tears.

After several minutes my convulsions began to subside and I hiccupped and sniffed unattractively while I came down from my hysterics. I took my time trying to compose myself, allowing everything to sink in now that my protective shield had withered away. I felt all the hurt as raw and new as ever. Jacob didn't want me. Edward was finally back. I was older, I had a life, and I had to make choices for myself now. My snow globe wasn't just shaken--it had suddenly sprung a leak. The pieces might settle in new places but it didn't matter when there was no fluid to hold it all together anymore.

"Shhh…Bella," Edward whispered to me. I felt his chilled body beneath my too-hot face and I pressed my cheek into his hard chest.

"E-Edward," I stammered. "Edward I ruined everything."

He stroked the hair out my face. "No you didn't."

I pulled back from him and tried to see him through the film of tears and matted strands of hair. He gently brushed them away from my eyes.

"You don't understand. I broke up with Jake years ago, Edward. I made him hate me—he doesn't even want to speak to me again—"

He shook his head. "That's not your fault."

"Don't tell me it isn't my fault!" I blurted out. "How can it not be?"

Edward sighed and a cool wind passed over my face.

"I'm so sorry for ever leaving you," he said, and I could hear the truth through the pain in his voice. "I thought that I could disappear from your life without any lasting damage, but I think my removal was worse than ever interrupting your world to begin with."

It was nice to finally hear the words spoken from the face that haunted me for months after his disappearance, but it wasn't what I was looking for at the moment. I seized my pillow and brought it to my chest as I sat up next to him, hugging it beneath my chin. Edward smiled at my position.

"It isn't your fault," he explained gently. He stilled me with a hand on my knee as I was about to object. "Because you're afraid to move forward with him knowing what else is out there. I don't think that's something that you would do…but it's something that I taught you to fear."

I snorted wetly at his logic. "You think I'll let you take the blame because I'm afraid of getting hurt? Don't be ridiculous, Edward. I don't need your chivalry."

'It's not chivalry. It's the truth."

"That's a weak argument, at best," I parried. I thought that Edward would be more astute than to assume that my inclination to leave Jake drew from my experience with him. Sure, that might have been part of the problem, but an imprint was much, much more terrifying than Jake leaving me. He might always come back, as Edward did now, but if Jake found his imprint—well that was it. There was no consolation prize, no better luck next time. That was the end of Jake and Bella. Bella and Jake.

Even now, I honestly didn't know what I would do if I knew that Jacob had found the one person in the world whom he was made for and who was made for him. Because deep down inside, I wanted to be the one for him. And when it didn't happen for us…well, that was a major blow to my confidence in true love with Jake. Despite that fact that Jake showed me how much I truly cared about him—still cared about him—I could tell that it was of similar caliber to the devotion that I once had for Edward. And Jake proved to me that that kind of love was transient.

I needed the kind of love that caused him to imprint.

"Bella, you know that I can't hear your thoughts, but I can understand Jacob's—"

"You still read his mind?" I blurted incredulously, forgetting myself. Regardless of our argument that day, I bristled to think that Edward was meddling in my business, especially concerning Jake. I sat bolt upright and away from Edward, a look of disappointment slashed over my face.

Edward had the decency to look somewhat sheepish. "I watched the wolves carefully after I found out that you left Forks to go to school. Forgive my lack of prudence, please. It was my only way of staying in contact with you after I…" he looked down at his lap. He swallowed unnecessarily—a human habit, I assumed—and forced himself to continue.

"I knew that you and Jacob were together for a while—and I wanted to respect your decisions so I remained…hidden."

"But you tuned in to Jake's thoughts?" I glared at him. "How could you?"

His golden eyes pleaded silently. He held his hands up in a peace offering. "Please, Bella. You have no idea how badly I wanted to return to you after the idiotic choice I had made. But can you not see how incredibly selfish that would have been had I done it? If I followed through with impulse—no, I shouldn't sully it with such insufficient verbiage. If I had followed through with my desperate need to be with you again—what would have become of you and Jacob Black?"

I averted my eyes from his pained gaze and focused on the pillow still bunched up in my lap. He was right. Back then, when I was still hurt and confused, I might have gone back to Edward's side if my heart hadn't fully turned to Jake just yet. There was a period of difficult uncertainty, in which I tortured Jake with my hesitancy and insecurity. I second guessed my feelings every step of the way.

"Bella," Edward spoke in a very quiet voice. I knew this tone he was taking—he meant to strike a chord in me. To make me understand something he deemed very difficult for my human mind to wrap around. I scowled at him and gave him a look that dared him to continue.

Edward faltered again. I could tell that he wasn't used to dealing with this. I was no longer pudding in his arms—Jacob gave me a spine.

"I just came here tonight to see if there's anything that I can do to…assist, or alleviate any problems. I promise you that this time I wasn't trying to listen for Jacob's thoughts, but it's rather difficult to tune out a mind that's screaming decibels above normal human projection."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

He took in a deep breath before speaking. "I mean that Jacob was in some real pain today. I've only known something like it once before." And then Edward gave me an impossibly cheerless look that told me just how honest he was being. My heart softened just the tiniest fraction for him.

"Edward," I sighed. I reached over and placed my hand to his cold cheek.

He closed his eyes and smiled briefly, leaning into my palm before gently removing it and returning it to me. A soft gust of wind left me at this small heartbreaking show of self-denial. The poor thing—he really was sorry for leaving me.

Edward let out a tremulous breath before forging ahead. He bathed my eyes in a golden pool, his gaze powerful and unblinking.

"Bella, if there's any part of you that's holding on to me for whatever reason, I hope you know that my heart is still yours. It truly never left, even while I was away for so long. But I know that Jacob also loves you…as much as I do…and I would rather see you happy with someone who will treat you with as much love and devotion that I could give, than torn apart and forced to choose anything less than what he can offer. And, though it goes against every fiber in my body to say this, I would also rather you consider your options than see you with me."

I felt tears in my eyes at his utterly selfless speech. "Still on that eternal damnation fix, aren't you?" I joked without humor.

He gave me a bleak laugh to match it. "Quite. I'll fight to keep your heart beating almost as hard as he will." Edward shook his head and ran his fingers through his tousled bronze hair. "I finally see that the pup was a worthy rival after all."

I nodded and relaxed against the headboard again, nestling myself against Edward's shoulder. "You mean Alice couldn't tell you that?"

I imagined Edward rolling his eyes then and it made me smile.

"Trust me, Bella. I'm kicking myself pretty hard for this one."

"Well don't boil over it too long," I warned him, gently teasing. "A century or two is enough."

Edward suddenly clasped my chin between two cold fingers and urged me to look at him. We were already so close, but the simple movement brought us only inches apart from one another. His eyes roamed over my face, searching and familiarizing himself with the way that five years had settled over my features. I felt as if I'd softened up enough to be called pretty these days. I was no longer awkward-looking and pointy at the chin. My eyes seemed to open wider, my lips, though I thought them unbalanced at first were attractively full and interesting. I felt a light flush creep into my cheeks.

I thought that if Edward could cry, he might just then. That tortured look was back in his eyes and I immediately regretted my careless words.

"Bella," he said, his voice cracking. I was surprised to hear him so shaken. "If there's one thing that I'm sure of, it's that I will never forgive myself for losing you. I've never regretted anything more in my century of existence than the day that I left you behind."

I trembled, not from emotion or exhaustion, though I felt both, but from the intensity of his gaze on me now. It was truly as if the five years apart had done nothing to abate the feelings he had for me, although it irrevocably changed my own. An overwhelming and unforeseen wave of guilt washed over me, momentarily erasing my problems with Jacob.

Jacob!

I blinked and yanked away from his grasp.

"Edward! Please don't—don't do that to me again," I stammered, inching away from him. He stared back at me in shock, hurt and—did I imagine it?—disappointment.

I found the courage to shuffle away from him and sit at the side of the bed so that I could face him directly. He let his hands drop to his sides and sat so still that it unnerved me. He stared straight ahead at his legs, a slight frown on his face.

"Edward…?"

He bowed his head and covered his face with a hand. "I'm sorry Bella…you really have no idea how difficult it is for me to come back."

I held my breath and fought the urge to touch him. He looked so pathetically worn and vulnerable, though physically he was anything but.

"Why did you?" I asked, finally breaking the silence. "Come back, that is."

Edward fixed me with his penetrating gaze. "How could I not?"

I dropped my eyes to my purple covers, trying to find an escape from him. I chose my next words carefully.

"You know…There was a time, even when I was with Jacob, that I would have given anything to know where you were. To see you again. I still loved you so much, even then. But…but now—"

His lip quirked up in a half smile that barely reached his eyes.

"—But now..." and he couldn't finish the sentence. Instead his crooked smile returned in full as if laughing at himself. "Yes, yes. I see, Bella."

I bit my lip and tried not to turn away from him this time. He needed to see the proof in me.

Edward nodded and the curve of his lips turned downward into a grimace.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I began to say, reaching for him.

He held up a hand and I swallowed another apology. Well this was something that I never expected to ever deal with. I always imagined welcoming him back with open arms, ready to forgive him for any and every wrong he'd ever done me. And once I finally got over that hallucination, I accepted the fact that I wouldn't have to consider my reaction to his return, because after years of nothing—no Alice, no Carlise, Esme, Emmett, Jasper or even Rosalie—l knew that they were never coming back.

But here he was, in the flesh so to speak, wanting me back as I apologized to him for finally moving on. If Alice could have told me this even a month ago I would have laughed in her face.

I reached for his hand, ignoring his attempt to ward me off. My fingers firmly twisted into the cold marble of his own. I held our linked hands up to him.

"I will always love you Edward," I said softly, fiercely. "You were the first person that I ever loved and I will never forget what that feels like. But even if I can't find a way to make things right with Jake, I don't want you waiting for me. No one will waste any more time waiting for me."

Edward smiled sadly at my little speech and brought his lips forward to brush against my knuckles. I felt my chest constrict, but only because I knew how much I was hurting him.

He gazed up at me through his lashes and then a true smile spread over his face.

"Bella, I've waited for you to come around for nearly a century. I've finally found you—believe me, it wasn't a waste."

He pulled me over to him and I allowed myself to settle at his shoulder. We sat side by side on my bed, our hands still intertwined. Edward leaned back against the headboard once more and closed his eyes. When he spoke, he didn't move from this position.

"Do you know what I found out today that he's most upset about? More so than this inconsequential concern that you're still holding on to me?"

I slowly shook my head back and forth, knowing that he didn't need to see my gesture to know what I meant.

A line formed over his forehead. "He's angry that you aren't letting him imprint on you, Bella. He thinks that you're stopping it."

I snorted in disbelief. "He would," I muttered darkly.

This brought a ghost of a smile to Edward's lips. "He seems to think that you have some control over that wolf-trait that Sam, Quil and Jared have given in to."

I turned to him in surprise. So Edward knew about all of them. He really did his homework while I was away. I would have to bother him later about the other details of the pack that Leah refused to share with me.

"Why would he think that?" I replied, curious now about the inner-workings of Jacob Black's mind. "It all happens on the wolf-end, doesn't it?"

Edward shrugged. "One would assume that. However…I can see where his logic might come from. I feel that we've deduced similar conclusions through different methodologies…"

I shot him an impatient look. "Explain."

Edward adjusted his head just the tiniest angle in my direction. "Well, I have my reservations about this, but it could be that he hasn't imprinted on you for the same reason that I can't hear your thoughts." He gently tapped two fingers to my temple. "Immune to our...charms."

I frowned at him and began to see the possibilities. If I blocked Edward out of my head without meaning to, could that also mean that I might be blocking Jake from my heart? Did supernatural hearing and soul mate legends work on the same level? I wet my lips anxiously and turned the idea over in my mind, wondering if there was a chance that when Jake asked me today if I knew how he felt about me, could he have been referring to imprinting?

"A-And what do you think?" I stammered. I could feel timid hope begin to rise in my chest.

Edward's eyes flew open so abruptly that I felt my heart skip at the sudden shock of gold. "I think that he may be on to something—I just wish that I knew the answer to that riddle myself."

I huffed out a sigh. Maybe there was hope for us after all. Maybe Jake was right—that I really didn't know what he felt because I couldn't feel it!

But that in and of itself presented another problem—how was I supposed to disarm a mechanism that I couldn't control?

I groaned and let my head drop forward in frustration.

"Did I say something wrong?" Edward asked me with immediate concern.

"No," I mumbled.

"Then what is it?"

"That!" I whined miserably, meaning his confusion. "Me! My brain, or my body—something's just wrong with me."

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Bella, nothing is wrong with you. You're the most normal and may I remind you only human component to this equation."

"Yeah, well normal blows," I grumped, an image of Seth coming to mind.

He grinned at me. "It isn't your fault, lo—" Edward cut himself off just short of the word. We reached an awkward silence.

I looked away and decided that now might be a good chance to finally get some rest. I didn't have much time left in Forks, and relatively less time to convince Jacob that our relationship was worth salvaging. I needed to pack in as much as possible in the next few days but sleep would have to come first.

I gave Edward's hand a squeeze. "Will you stay the night?'

He shook his head with a sad smile. "I don't think it would be wise to pick up old habits if we're trying to form a new one, Bella."

I nodded and silently thanked his steadfast willpower. I missed him so much even if my feelings towards him were completely platonic, so I was relieved to hear him reinforce our new boundaries, as well as embrace the possibility of a mutual friendship. Edward released my hand and leaned over to place an icy kiss to my forehead.

"Sleep, Bella," he whispered to me as he pulled away.

"Edward wait—" I caught his hand before he moved back too far. He chuckled.

Lifting my fingers to his lips, he slipped off of my bed and said, "I'll leave my number in your phone if you'd like to talk tomorrow. And next time I think it would be a good idea to meet somewhere other than your room."

I felt a faint blush creep over my cheeks, thinking of how someone might misconstrue our reunion if they knew we were alone and in my bed. He moved over to my desk and entered in his contact information quickly, but not faster than my keypad could process. It was interesting seeing him perform such a mundane task as data entry. It was so curiously human.

When he was finished, he gave me a warm smile that failed to conceal the pain in his eyes.

"I'm glad that I found you Bella Swan," he said to me gently. "Sleep well—I promise that things will work out for you no matter what."

I lied with my smile too, knowing that I might never be happy if Jacob didn't forgive me for my mistakes. "Goodnight Edward. And…welcome home."

His smile began to fade into a wince but he turned away towards the window before I could tell for sure. Edward slipped out beneath the glass and had it shut behind him within a mere second. And just like that, he was gone.

I let out a long, shuddering sigh and prepared myself for the troubled dreams that I knew would come.