What? An update? Am I dreaming? No reader, you are not dreaming. I have resurfaced out of the cold black abyss I sleep in when I'm not writing. Please forgive my disappearance.
Draco and Hermione arrived at Hermione's flat, and when Hermione stepped inside and turned to say goodbye to Malfoy, he slid past her and into the apartment.
"Excuse you," Hermione said.
"Come on Granger, the night just started and neither of us has anything else to do. Let me stay for a drink and a chat at least. Though I don't suppose you have any alcohol."
Hermione sighed, and closed the door. Then she went into the kitchen and came back out with two shot glasses and a bottle of maple whiskey. Malfoy whistled joyfully, "Merlin Granger! You are full of surprises."
Hermione sat down at the table, and Draco sat across from her. She poured two shots, and offered one to Malfoy, who offered his up for cheers, tapped it down on the table, and drank it down. Hermione mirrored him. Draco watched her carefully, and noted that she did not balk at the burning liquid. She had certainly changed since Hogwarts.
"How long are you going to let that Weasel torment you?"
Hermione sighed, "can we not talk about that now?"
Draco shrugged. It didn't matter to him, after all. He poured them both another shot, "Were you alone in Italy?" he asked.
"At first," Hermione said, "but I've learned it's hard work to keep people out."
"Yes," Draco agreed, "some people are persistent." He seemed not to grasp the irony. "But you left them?" he prompted.
"Yes," Hermione answered simply.
"Why?" Draco asked, exasperated. Though he usually enjoyed prying information out of people, at the moment it just felt tedious.
Hermione paused, "nothing more there for me to learn," she said carefully. Draco debated whether to press the matter, but they were having a decent night, and so he let it go for the time being.
"I imagine you missed your parents as well," he commented, "or did they visit you in Italy?"
Hermione managed to keep her face neutral, but her body tensed and Draco noticed. "They actually moved."
"Oh?"
"To Australia."
"Really? So far from their only daughter?" Hermione stayed silent. Malfoy hadn't really asked her a question, after all. "What are they like?" Draco asked, bored of Granger's clipped answers.
"Why do you care?" Hermione tried not to snap. She was also enjoying the relative civility.
"Come on, we already know each others' dirty secrets, what's the point being so defensive still?"
"You didn't answer my question," Hermione pointed out.
"I asked you first," Draco teased childishly. When Granger merely stared back evenly he got up, "Geez Granger lighten up a little," Malfoy said, and he walked behind her and began massaging her shoulders. Hermione tried to jump away, but he held her tight.
"I think the most relaxed you've ever been must have been when you were petrified," he joked. Hermione didn't laugh, but after a minute her shoulders relaxed under his fingers as they slid over her skin, and she let out a quiet sigh. Draco's hands moved in circles, and pressed hard into her neck and shoulders. He slipped his fingers under the collar of her dress, and massaged deep into her upper back.
"You know, this would be easier with your shirt off," Draco smiled. Hermione jerked away, harder this time, stood and whipped around to glare at Malfoy.
"What, you don't trust me?" he asked, innocent as a snake.
"Not even a little."
"If I try anything you don't like you can always just hex me," Draco pointed out, "or you might find you like it more than you thought you would," he added with a wink. Hermione headed for the door, intending to show him out.
Draco grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her back towards him, his face suddenly soft but strict. "Hermione, you can trust me. I will never do anything you're not comfortable with."
Hermione's heart jumped, but she hid it well, "you do remember you're blackmailing me, don't you?" Hermione reminded him. Draco laughed.
"I prefer to think of it more as... providing added incentive for you to comply with a mutually beneficial agreement." Hermione rolled her eyes. Draco leaned towards Hermione slightly, his face serious, "surely you realize by now Granger that I won't ever repeat your secret. I'm not that sort of man. You can relax."
They weren't nearly as close as they had been earlier while they were dancing, but still Hermione's breath caught in her throat. Her skin tingled as Draco traced his fingers up her arm and back to her shoulders, stepping behind her once more. It was hard not to let her muscles relax under his skilled hands, but the moment Hermione closed her eyes and leaned into it, she suddenly realized just how tired she was. How tired she had been for a very, very long time.
She stepped away from Draco, keeping her back towards him. She wrapped her arms around herself, her skin cold where his warm hands had just been.
"What's wrong?" Malfoy asked, taking a step towards her but keeping his hands at his sides.
A tear fell from Hermione's lashes suddenly, and she instinctively moved to brush it away. Draco recognized the movement, and turned the witch around. Hermione ducked her head and tried to hide her face from him, but Draco cupped her chin and lightly lifted her face up to reveal the tears.
"Have I done something wrong? Please, tell me," Draco pleaded, "so I can be sure never to do it again."
"No, no you haven't done anything wrong, really," Hermione insisted.
"Well that would be a first," Draco joked lamely.
Hermione tried to laugh, but only managed a small twitch at the corner of her mouth.
"I'm just… so tired." Another tear slipped out and left a trail down her cheek. She didn;t move to wipe it away this time, but kept her arms around herself, trying to hold it together.
"I can leave, I'm sorry. I've overstayed my welcome, you need rest surely. It's late." Draco said, but paused, reluctant to go, not wanting to leave the witch alone.
"I'm not… it's not that kind of tired. I barely sleep most nights anyway."
Draco waited for her to explain but when she didn't he gently prompted her, "what kind of tired is it then?"
"Hermione met his gaze, "have you ever been exhausted down to your core? Just so tired of going through the movements every day, tired of holding yourself together, pretending everything is fine?"
"Yes," Draco answered quietly, leaving Hermione wondering why he would ever feel that way. Perhaps when his father was sent to Azkaban, or when he witnessed Dumbledore's death.
"You must miss Potter," Draco commented. Hermione hadn't even been thinking specifically of her old friend, but now the thought of him sent a dagger through her heart and more tears spilled out. She held herself tighter and nodded.
"I might not understand his particular appeal, but I know what it's like to miss a friend," Draco said softly, "what I don't understand is this, my old mates and I don't get on anymore because they're bigoted pricks. You and Potter… seemed to have a stronger connection than a mere sexual dalliance could sever."
Hermione looked down at her feet, oddly feeling guilty about lying to Malfoy. The feeling irritated her, and suddenly she felt angry, remembering all he had ever done to her, was currently doing. For Merlin's sake he was blackmailing her! He said he would never tell, but could she really believe him? After everything? How much could one man change after only so many years?
Her temper boiled up, and when she met Draco's gaze again she was glowering.
"Well I'm sorry my life doesn't make sense to you, but that doesn't make it any less real. And I don't really expect you to understand anyway," she snapped.
Draco's eyebrows narrowed. So this is what he gets for trying to be nice? Merlin, he wasn't even trying to pry for once!
"You're tired." He said shortly, "I'll leave you to rest."
And with that Malfoy left, and as soon as the door closed Hermione fell to her knees, sobs choking her and leaving her weak. She eventually fell asleep right there on the wooden living room floor.