Chapter 11:
Nightmare: "Originating from European myth and legend, 'night mare' is a middle English word denoting a female demon or spirit that afflicts sleeping people."
"Mary Jane,"
It was a faint whisper echoing through the darkness. I was in a dark room void of any sort of light. I blindly felt through the darkness, trying to feel anything around me but finding nothing.
"Mary Jane,"
The whispers were growing strength.
"Mary Jane," It was a woman's voice. She hissed my name angrily, "What are you afraid of, little girl?"
The question prompted immediate action by my brain; thoughts of my father filling my mind. I tried to clear my head, willing the images to vanish but my subconscious refused to listen. The faint images grew stronger, appearing before me like holograms illuminating the darkness.
A dining room: modest but tipping towards the side of upper-class. A family sits at the table, eating quietly with just the tinkling of silverware against porcelain drifting through the silence. At the head of the table is a man in his early thirties. At the opposite end of the table, a beautiful blonde woman in her late twenties. The image before me is eerily familiar and I struggle to place these people in my memory but I'm unable to. The hologram becomes clearer and I see two young children sitting at the table across from each other with their heads bowed.
"Please stop playing with your peas, darling." My mother speaks to the red-haired child, her voice just as sweet as I remembered.
From afar, I watch as my sister Gayle kicks the red-haired child from under the table. The red-haired child chances a well-concealed scowl back at her.
The redhead turns to my mother and speaks in a voice as delicate as the wind, "But mommy, I don't like peas."
My mother opens her mouth to reply, eyes darting warily towards the worn out man sitting at the opposite side of the table, "I know but they're good for-"
"Eat them." His voice cuts through my mother's sweet words. He stares down at his plate, fingers tapping the top of his crystal glass full of an amber liquid. That voice sends tremors running down my legs and I have to remind myself that this is only a dream to stop myself from trembling but it's of no use; the memories come rushing back and suddenly I want this dream to end. I feel warm tears running down my cheeks.
"But daddy," The red-haired child's lip begins to quiver. "Peas make me feel so sick. Please-"
Like a snake springing upon its prey, the man jumps from his seat and grabs the tiny red-haired girl from her chair. He lifts her high into the air and with both hands, turns her quivering body to face him.
"What did I say!" Spittle flies from his drunken lips. The little girl is unable to speak, fright opening her emerald eyes wide as saucers.
Suddenly, water is splashed on them both. The man drops the red-haired girl back into her seat and whirls around to face Gayle as she cowers behind her chair, empty glass in hand.
I take a step towards the hologram, reaching out towards my ten-year-old sister. "Don't hurt her." But they don't hear me- this is only a dream.
"You little shit." The man growls through clenched teeth.
"Phil, please," My mother stood from her chair, clearly agitated. She pressed both palms against the table to keep them from shaking. "Girls, go to your bedroom."
"I can handle this, Madeline." The man spoke as he stalked around the table towards my cowering sister. He yoked her up by her collar and the glass she held in her hand shattered against the floor. Gayle cried out but her cries were cut off as she began to choke from her collar gathering too tightly around her neck. "What in the Hell do you think you're doing, Gayle?"
When her reply was only the sound of choking, he shook her violently, "Answer me, damnit!"
Like a bullet, a blur of tiny red collided into the drunken man, knocking him off balance. He dropped Gayle and she immediately scurried away. The drunken man grabbed the red-haired girl and began to hit her.
"Mary Jane Watson!" The man growled angrily, "I'm going to teach you a lesson!"
Despite this being simply a nightmare of a distant memory, I felt every blow. I cringed with the pain of a grown man hitting my tiny body with as much strength as he could muster. I ran into the hologram, arms flailing in an attempt to attack the man. Like smoke, the hologram waved and dissipated into the air.
The nightmares started the night after I was chased into my apartment building. Unlike most nightmares, these were not contained in the safe realm of sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, they began to replay like a movie stuck on repeat. I traveled through life like a zombie, drained and emotionless. Three days passed without sleep. I went to class but I stared blankly at the professor as she spoke, unable to make sense of the string of words coming from her lips. I went to rehearsal and recited my lines like a marionette, my words lackluster and plain. The only thing I paid special attention to was the setting sun and every day, I made sure I was home before dark... even if that meant cutting rehearsal short.
"MJ," Gwen met me at the door after rehearsal one day. "A package came for you."
She handed me a small square package. I walked into the kitchen with it and used a knife to cut open the packaging tape. Inside was a brand new iPod. I held it in my hands then turned it over to see that my name had been professionally etched into the back of it. Gwen stood beside me. She reached back into the box and pulled out a small card.
"Here," She handed me the card. "See who it's from."
I opened the card and read it out loud, "'Since you've been meaning to get a new one anyways. Harry O.'"
"What!" Gwen snatched the card from my hands, glancing it over, "Some nerve he's got!"
I absentmindedly handed her the iPod as I walked past her and sat heavily upon the couch in the living room. "You can have it. I don't want it." I leaned back into the sofa, fighting the heavy eyelids that threatened to fall over my eyes.
Gwen sat down beside me and pressed the backside of her palm against my forehead. "You feeling okay? You don't look so hot."
I pulled away from her touch. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well lately." She was worried, I could see it on her face. I mustered up the best smile I could and patted her knee. "I'm fine, Gwendy. Don't worry."
"Okay, well, Peter and I were going to grab a pizza at Mellow Mushroom. I can stay here though-"
"No way, Jose." I forced a laugh, "You and Peter are going on your first official date and you're talking about staying home with me? Not a chance. Go. Have fun. I'll be fine."
"It isn't a date, MJ." It took her a moment but finally she nodded her head and stood from the couch. "If you need me I'll come right home."
I didn't fight with her on this one. I simply nodded my head and motioned towards the door, "Go on with your bad self. Enjoy your night with Parker."
Gwen said her goodbye's and left.
In this quiet, empty apartment I felt my nightmares inching closer. Every time I blinked, the nightmares threatened to pull my sub-conscious back into their realm. I stood from the couch and began to pace, trying desperately to keep myself awake.
Aunt Anna.
I don't know where the thought came from but suddenly Aunt Anna's name came into my mind. Perhaps being with her would help my nightmares subside. In theory, it made sense. I had moved in with my Aunt Anna when I was thirteen, after running from city to city with my mother and Gayle, trying to escape my father and his abuse. I remembered the nightmares I had when I first moved in with her. I remembered how they kept me up for days on end and how Aunt Anna would let me lay my head on her lap and she would stroke my hair until I fell asleep. Eventually the nightmares stopped and I was able to sleep again.
I grabbed my jacket and threw it on. I left my apartment and began the short walk to the subway station. It didn't occur to me what time it was... or how dark the streets were at this time of night. Blindly, I walked to the subway station, thinking only of my Aunt Anna; a zombie seeking out the only thing that could offer it an inkling of solace. Had someone been following me, I would not have noticed. I saw the world through tunnel-vision, walking towards the subway station more from memory than from sight.
The subway train was empty. I paced from one end of the train to the other, fearful of the heavy eyelids that weighed heavier with each passing moment.
Aunt Anna's was not within walking distance of the subway station. I charged the last $30 in my bank account to the cab driver who drove me the distance from the station to my aunt's. Her home was dark. As the cab driver drove away, I stood on the sidewalk looking up at her small two-story townhouse. In all the years I had known my aunt, she had never forgotten to at least turn on the porch light.
Sudden alarm gripped my heart, squeezing it tight within its grip. I ran up the steps leading to my aunt's porch. I knocked on her front door but my knock pushed open the already slightly open door. Without a second thought, I pushed open the door and walked into her dark living room.
"Aunt Anna!" I called out into the darkness, feeling for the light switch on the wall. I flicked on the light switch but the light didn't come on. "Aunt Anna!" I tried again, feeling my way through the darkness.
I was panicking now. I ran from the home, jumping the steps leading down from the porch and landing unsteadily on the sidewalk. I sprinted to the townhouse next door, my aunt's best friend, and I banged on the front door.
"Aunt May!" I called out, panic seeping through my words.
The elderly woman answered the door, barely opening it at first but upon seeing my familiar face, she opened the door wide. "Mary Jane, what's wrong?"
"Something's not right at my Aunt Anna's. The power's out and she isn't responding." I shook my head in disbelief, "I just have this feeling-"
"I'll call the police immediately. Come inside." Aunt May opened her door and motioned for me to come inside.
"No, I can't. I need to find her." I scanned the living room. "Do you have a flashlight?"
"Yes, yes," Aunt May hobbled to a closet on the opposite end of the living room. She opened it and pulled out a flashlight. I grabbed the flashlight from her hand and without another word, ran back to my aunt's.
I clicked the flashlight on in the living room. Everything appeared to be normal; Nothing had been overturned or broken. I continued walking, sweeping the flashlight over everything in front of me. My heart was pounding. Where could she be? She never left home after dark and she most certainly never left her front door unlocked.
I walked past the stairs just as I heard the floorboard creak upstairs. I whirled around, shining the flashlight upon the stairs.
I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I ran up the stairs, two at a time. Just as I stepped onto the second story landing the flashlight illuminated a woman standing directly in front of me. I immediately placed her: it was the woman who had chased me into my apartment building.
"If you want a job done right," The deathly pale woman smiled at me, her black eyes gleaming with the light of the flashlight, "You better get a woman to do it."
"W-who," I tried to speak but the woman began to scream a subhuman screaming. The house shook and I stepped back in alarm. I felt the top step under my foot and I tried to stand my ground but the woman's shriek cast an invisible force that threw me backwards. I fell down the stairs, my back cracking against the hard wooden steps. From the bottom of the stairs, I stared up at the dark ceiling, my world spinning and my ears ringing.
I couldn't hesitate, even for a moment. I rolled over and crawled away from the stairs, unable to stand. The house shook and a sudden searing hot pain in my side caused me to scream out. I nearly fell onto my stomach as my arms and legs threatened to drop me. I forced myself to continue crawling until I felt someone grip my arm. I fought against them but they were too strong and I was too weak. They began to drag me through the living room, my wiry legs knocking against furniture.
"The Kingpin has formally requested your presence, Mary Jane Watson." The light of the moon illuminated the porch as the woman dragged me across it. The Kingpin's name sent a new kind of terror running through me. "You're a difficult one to snag, Ms. Watson. We had to lure you away from your apartment because the little itsy bitsy spider has been keeping a very close eye on you."
I glanced up and towards the street. A black Lincoln Navigator sat parked with the backseat door open and two men dressed in black suits standing beside it.
The woman continued speaking, joyful as she slowly dragged me across the porch, "He's going to follow you and when he does," She stopped and turned to me, bringing her pale face down to my level, "We're going to squash him like the bug that he is."
Ignoring the pain in my arm as I twisted, I whirled my body around and shoved the heels of my feet into the woman's face. Her grip loosened on my arm and I wrenched it free. I forced myself to my feet and began to run across the porch, away from her. If I could just make it to the railing, I could jump and run to Aunt May's. The cops would be here any minute now- I just had to make it to the railing and jump-
"You little-" Suddenly, I was crippled. I fell to my knees, hands over my ears in an attempt to block out the strange woman's supersonic screams. The entire home shook beneath me as the woman continued to scream, taking short, deliberate and angry steps towards my writhing body.
The screaming ceased as she stood over me. She shoved the toe of her boot into my gut and I cried out in pain. My ears were ringing and I could hardly hear her as she spoke.
"Just for that..." She reached down and yanked me up by my arm. "Go join your daddy in dreamland."
Barely able to stand, ears ringing, body broken: I was unable to dodge the woman's punch. Her fist connected against my jaw with a power that was beyond any normal human. For a moment, I fought the veil of darkness that threatened to fall upon me but I lost the battle.
I fell to the porch, the cold blanket of unconsciousness falling over my body. The nightmares began again just as soon as my father had landed his first punch, my mother's frantic screams echoing within my skull.