A/N: I told you not to hate on Beck! Well I guess it's inevitable as how he hurt our Jade, and this chapter will undoubtedly contributed to the already growing fuel of hatred. Oh well…

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, sadly… I would love to torture Tori…make her pay for EVERYTHING she's done! Have I mentioned I share the same birthday as Victoria Justice? The fact that I discovered this only minutes after watching 'Prome' did not help add to my ever diminishing love for her. I mean how dare she freaking urghhh! *mutters incorrigibly*

Anyways… Enjoy, and as always, review:) They make me smile.

Chapter 11: Alone Again

Jade's POV:

I don't understand. Everything's so confusing. Nothing's making sense. Where am I? I open my eyes, and I am in a room. I am lying on a bed. But I don't know how I got there. I sit up slowly to look around. There's an organized desk at one side and a large window at the other. Thick plush drapes of blue hang down from the curtain, blocking my view from outside. The large closet lies at the end of room, it's door slightly ajar, it's contents nearly spilling out. Next to the closet is a mirror, full sized and bordered with a wooden frame. Photos stick out everywhere. Photos of me.

This is my room.

Of course, how had I not noticed before? But still, something was missing, a key element into understanding. Something's different, something's changed. Something is wrong. Ah! I smile, Beck will know. Beck always knows. I got up of bed. Where's Beck? Then with a start I realize. Silly me, he's not here, he's at the RV.

'Let's go then' a voice says out to me. And I agree with it, we should go. Nodding my head, I hear a whoosh and suddenly, like magic, I'm at Beck's. Relieved at being able to cut down what would have been a long drive, I race to his door, banging on it like I would on any other day.

I wait for him to open it, but he's taking so damn long. I can feel myself getting more and more mad by the second. I've already picked out the words I'll use to scold him for taking his own sweet time.

But he doesn't open it. I bang and I bang and I bang. But the door doesn't open. Furious and frustrated, I kick it, but he must have reinforced it or something, because it still wouldn't open.

'Maybe he's out,' I think to myself, but I know, I just know he's in there. He's in there deliberately not letting me in.

'He doesn't want you' the same voice calls out, and even though I know it's true, I can't help but call out his name.

"Beck?" I ask, against the door, hating how weak my voice sounds. Hating the desperation and the need.

There is an extended silence, and then I hear it. Just the softest of whispers, but so tender it was like he'd whispered it to my ear.

"I'm sorry Jade."

With a strangled cry, I'm wrenched back into my room, crying and sobbing and screaming.

I wake up in my room, crying and sobbing and screaming, because I know what's missing, what's changed, what's wrong.

He'd left me.

And now I'm breaking.

Memories of yesterday come flooding right back in.

We hadn't bothered talking much after the café fiasco. It was only back in the RV that things got nasty.

"What the hell are you doing Beck?" I screamed, throwing a book at him, narrowly missing his hips.

"Jade."

"How could you do this to me? HOW?" I shrieked, everything was so overwhelming. He just couldn't leave me, he couldn't.

I wouldn't let him. Over my dead body would I ever allow him to leave my sight.

He didn't answer, he just sat there in his misery his whispers hardly audible: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it," I exclaimed, "Sorry, will never cut it! Don't you see Beck? Can't you see what it's doing to me? Can't you understand-"

"I know!" he yelled, standing up, cutting me off. His mouth opened and closed, like he was debating in his mind what to say.

"Just say it!" I shouted.

"God damn it Jade! Why do you have to do this to me?" He said, his voice breaking a little at the end.

"What Beck? What am I doing?" He wasn't making any sense at all.

"Jade," he said slowly, "Just let me go."

"No," I croaked out. "No, no, no, no, no. I can't, I can't. "I shook my head, crumpling to the ground.

Finally, I understood, he didn't want me, he really didn't want me.

"Please Beck, please!" I was crying, I was falling apart in front of him, but for once, I swallowed my pride, discarded my ego. I just wanted him, needed him.

And then he said the unspeakable, he did the unthinkable. He broke my heart further than I thought was ever possible. He didn't just stab me, he had to twist the knife.

"I'm going to date Tori Vega."

It was like a dam exploded inside of me, and the level of hurt finally hit it's breaking point, overflowing everywhere. My breath hitched, I couldn't swallow. Was this a freaking joke?

I looked up at him, his eyes were blank, devoid of any emotion. Empty.

Just like mine.

I raised my hand up, and the sound of my palm coming into contact with his cheek rang in the air, like an indicator of how shattered this relationship had become. The shock was clear in his eyes.

I slapped him.

He had no right to be hurting me like this.

I left.

I ran from him, to the only other place I could go: The house. It was no longer my home, that had changed the moment my mother had kicked me out. The realization of it hit me, I really had no one.

My parents hated me, Beck didn't want me. I started to laugh hysterically. I irony of it all, I'd always wanted to be left alone, at least not until Beck. He'd made me realize how desperately lonely I was, made me realize how much I wanted someone else, just someone to talk to, someone to hold me, someone to understand. He'd been that someone. He'd breached my defenses and made me open up completely, and despite the fact that it went against everything I'd believed in, he made me trust again.

And then he'd taken it all back. It was for people like him that I'd built those walls in the first place.

Now I was alone again.

Dejectedly, I walked back to my old home. I might not be welcomed, but the law entitled me a place to sleep. They would have to let me stay. Most of my clothes and other stuff was still at his RV, but I really couldn't care less right now. My hand still stung from the slap, but I wished I'd slapped him again, or kicked him, or something. I hated him, I hated him, I hated him. I hated him for causing what I was feeling now.

Yet, I still loved him.

When I arrived 'home' my father laughed at me. "Finally realized you weren't worth it did he?" he cackled. "Or were you stupid enough to tell him everything?" The shock on my face answered his question. "I can't believe you were so foolish! Did you really think he loved you?" He kept laughing, each 'haha' like a slap to the face.

It hurt.

It hurt so much more than him throwing me at a table or pushing me down the stairs. It hurt because he was right. Beck didn't love me. He didn't love me.

Somehow, I got myself up the stairs, falling onto my bed before the world started spinning, darkening, my father's laughter still ringing in my ears. I wondered if Beck was laughing at me now, telling everyone what a fool I was. I bet everyone was laughing at me now. Just like before… It was all happening again.

"Oh my god, isn't that Jadelyn Woods? That girl that caused that car crash?"

"Yeah! I can't believe it, she actually has the guts to come to school. What a bitch."

So cruel!

So heartless!

The voices of the students from other schools, the pieces of gossip overheard in the girls' bathroom.

"Look at what she's wearing? Who does she think she is?"

"Jadelyn Woods? In Hollywood Arts? Pshhh Impossible! Who would want her?"

"I bet she just wants attention. What a drama queen."

No one ever knew realized that someone in that last cubicle, hiding, holding her sobs in while silent tears streamed down her face as she listened to the whispered words of girls she thought she'd been friends with. No one had ever realized she'd heard it all.

Even at home she faced the endless insults.

"Are you good for anything?"

"You insolent child!"

"You've told that pretty boyfriend of yours haven't you? I bet you go crying to him all the time!"

"You're the liar."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Where are you going? My precious little Jadey."

"Stop," I whispered, but they wouldn't stop, like there was someone digging through my mind, intentionally pulling out every single hurtful, painful memory, moment, conversation, bringing them to the front of my mind so I could relive it all.

"I love you Jade,"

"I'll never leave you."

"It wouldn't change a thing about us."

"I'm sorry Jade."

Lies. All lies, every kiss, every touch, every sweet moment they'd shared. It didn't mean anything to him. I let out a small sob of self-pity. Had he pitied me? Was that why he dated me? Dated me because I seemed different? Well, was too different for him to take obviously. A bitter, harsh laugh escaped my lips. Did it become too much for him? Or perhaps, had it simply been the time for me to be replaced? Like a toy that had gone out of season, that had broken and fell in a muddy puddle, only to be replaced by a newer, shinier model, Tori Vega. And with that, I let it all out, I let myself cry, hugging my pillow like a lifeline as I finally allowed myself to cry my heart out.

Why had I been so stupid? Hadn't life taught me that trust was only for fools and that true love didn't exist? Hadn't I learned the hard way what happened when you let your guard down? That everything only ever backfired in your face? So why? Why? Why did I let him break down my walls? Why?

"Finally realized you weren't worth it did he?" The voice continued to taunt.

"Did you really think he loved you?"

"You did." The voice answered for me.

"Because you love him." The voice in my head told me.

And then the sobs came down harder, each one wracking my already fragile frame. My tears soaked my pillow. But this time, there were no warm arms to hold me together. No welcoming chest for me to collapse into. No soothing voice telling me I was loved, that everything would be okay.

No.

There was nothing.

There was nobody.

I was alone.

A/N: Poor Jade! After everything she's been through and Beck still… You know what, I'm not even going to bother telling you not to hate Beck, that would be near impossible now. Go ahead and rant it all…

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