So I wrote this at like 2am last night, but then it wouldn't let me post it. _ - Oh, but I went to Robin Hood again last night x3 halirous!
Oliver is sitting on the sofa with a bong watching the 'Teletubbies' and surrounded in bags of empty potato chips as there's a crash from the front door, a brick landing just behind the sofa.
Miley sulks in, plopping herself onto the sofa next to Oliver, a disappointed look on her face.
"Forgot your keys again?"
Miley nods, pulling her bra from her pocket "Didn't know you were here"
"How'd your date go?" He asks offering her a chip.
"It could have gone better" She gets a slight look of anger on her face "He's playing hard to get"
"How are you playing it?"
"I dry-humped a hitching post in front of him" She shrinks further into her chair, grabbing a bag of chips.
"So what's the biggie? I thought you weren't into this guy"
"Me either. It's just... the way he looks at me sometimes. When I'm around him, I feel like we're the only ones there. You know?"
Oliver nods. "I feel the same way around Mary Jane"
--
Shane and Jason walk past the sun-tanning beauties and make their way to the side of the swimming pool.
"You really want to go through with this?"
"I've got to be sure" Shane replies with determination.
"This is gonna get ugly" Jason warns.
"I have to do it. I've got to put the curse to the test – Where is she?"
Jason points. "She's usually beached over there by that diving board"
They start the walk to the far side of the pool, heading to what Shane mistakes as three people on a towel.
"There she is. Daisy Skepple"
"And she's single?" He finishes his sentence as Jason shoots him a look "What? There's somebody for everybody"
"She's here every day. Always in a two piece. In addition to the back acne, she's got front acne and side acne. See the glass of water by her garbage bag of ding-dongs? She keeps her teeth in that glass. She's grouchy, angry, rude, never tips and has more chest hair than Rin Tin Tin"
"Is she my best bet?" Shane asks considering his decision for a moment.
"Sink the soldier all you want, there's no way this chick is getting married. If she were the last woman on Earth, humanity would come to a screeching halt"
Shane takes a deep breath before bravely proceeding, past a few hot girls, he stops at Daisy. She glares up at him.
"Hey asshole, you're in my sun"
"Hi. My name is Shane. What's your name?"
"Kate Moss. Not beat it!"
"I'm sorry, I was just wondering if I could take you out tonight?" There's a silence. "What do you say?"
Daisy farts in response, causing Shane to pull a face.
"Would you like me to elaborate?" She asks.
"No, I think I understand. I'm very sorry to bother you"
Shane turns to walk away, defeated. He stops for a moment, before turning back.
"I'll give you a hundred dollars to go on a date with me"
She doesn't respond and Shane sighs.
"Two hundred dollars?" He asks.
--
Daisy and Shane are on a date at the beautiful Hotel Del Coronado, Daisy is eating a lobster, whilst Shane has a dozen shot glasses in front of him – half empty, half full.
"A lucky charm huh?"
Shane nods. Daisy sucks the green stuff from her lobster as Shane downs another shot, working up the courage.
"And you just got to take me out for dinner?" She asks.
Shane downs another two shots. Here goes nothing...
"Well... I was kind of thinking we could... get physical"
"Alright! I haven't gotten any action since my last gyno exam – I'm gonna fuck you till you die"
She flashes a hideous smile, the green stuff hanging from her teeth.
Shot. Shot. Shot.
--
Shane is standing in his shower, scrubbing himself raw with a soapy sponge. He shuts off the water, breathing a sigh of relief.
"And now... we wait"
--
Miley pushes the button on her answering machine.
"You have one new message"
She smiles, pushing play.
"Hey Miles, I hope you had a nice day at work" There's the sound of a few coughs before he carries on. "Listen. I'm sorry. But I've got this cough I can't seem to shake. Think we can just talk tonight? On the phone. I'd really, really like that..."
Miley smiles, she'd like that too.
--
Shane places the photo shopped picture of him and an unknown bride up on his wall, he slips a wedding ring on as he waves to his patients, some of them getting up and walking out.
--
Jason looks unhappy, the unhappy Shane's ever seen him.
"No way. No way, man!"
"You got to do it" Shane pleads.
"Yeah, right! So I go out with Daisy Skepple to test the curse and what happens next? I'm walking down the aisle with Shamu! I don't think so"
"I'll pay you"
"I don't need your money. I've got Mira Sorvino's thigh fat. I'm going to be a wealthy man"
"Come on, there's got to be something I can offer"
Jason thinks for a moment, before smiling.
--
Jason walks out from his office, wearing a white jacket with the name "Dr. Shane Gray" stitched to the chest. He turns to the half-dozen waiting women.
"Hello, ladies... I'm Dr. Shane Gray. Who's first?"
--
Jason and Shane stand by the shallow end of the pool, the diving board in the distance. Jason screws up his courage and walks towards Daisy.
Shane smiles as he watches Jason chat it up with Daisy.
Now I'm watching E.R (: Yayy. Reviews please? Thanks.