30 Days of Puckurt; Alternate Universes
DAY #13: The One that's Non-Kosher
Click. "Oh my god..." Click-click. "Dude..." Scroll. "...How is that even possible?"
Kurt paused in the middle of a rather engaging Vogue article to frown at his partner whose face was unfortunately blocked by the back of a laptop. He glared at his own reflection in the shiny black surface. "Hon... didn't we agree, no laptops at the breakfast table?"
Puck made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, only to cut himself off with a surprised moan. "Whoa, that has to be photoshopped!"
Kurt slammed the magazine down with more than a little anger. "Puck, I'm eating breakfast and you're looking at porn?"
Puck's head finally peeked over the lip of the laptop, looking very much like a curly-headed meerkat poking its head out of a burrow. "What? No! I was just..."
Fully revved from agitated to incensed, Kurt stood up, his chair screeching against the tiled floor as he stomped his way around the table for two, snatching Puck's shoulder and forcing the other man back and away from the keyboard before he could ex out the current page.
"..." Kurt shot a confused glance to Puck, whose eyes were steadfastly glued to the floor. "Puck, why... what's food porn?"
Puck opened his mouth to say something but quickly reconsidered.
"And why are you looking at bacon?" Kurt asked, a grin slowly working its way onto his face. "You know, I have a feeling your mother would be very disappointed in you if she found out about your non-Kosher porcine love affair."
Puck grumbled something under his breath before gently shoving Kurt away from his laptop. "Shut up. Just... go finish your breakfast."
Kurt snorted, the tell-tale beginning of a serious Kurt Hummel giggle fit. "Sure! Unless you wanted to jerk off to my Raisin Bran? Oh my god," Kurt wheezed, "This is priceless. I knew I'd risk getting fat from marrying a chef, but losing my man to bacon? What has the world come t-oh!"
Puck grinned as he palmed Kurt through his slacks, pushing him up against the stainless steel fridge with enough force to leave the man breathless. "If I can learn to accept your ridiculous scarf fetish, you'll sure as hell take me with my non-Kosher porn. Clear?"
"I didn't hear you bitching about my ridiculous scarves last ni-alright, okay! Crystal clear," Kurt giggled before breaking off into another moan. "Keep rubbing me like that and I might let you take the Reddi-Whip into bed after all."