Tell It Like It Is
Chapter 10
As soon as Will felt the door beside him move his eyes flicked back open. Even though logic immediately told him that it would merely be Corey coming to tell him to leave, he couldn't help that his heart sped up and did summersaults in his chest. It was possible that it could be her.
She stepped from her dorm, wearing running shoes and workout clothes then quickly stopped in her tracks. She didn't say anything but she looked lost.
It was Will's fault. He felt the consequences of his action drop onto his head like an anvil. He'd broken her. Her eyes didn't sparkle. Her ponytail no longer bobbed with laughter. Her cheeks weren't flushed with delight. All of it, everything about her had lost its passion. Its personality.
Lizzy looked at him for a second then turned and walked the other way down the hallway. Will immediately jumped to his feet and chased her.
"Lizzy," he hissed as he grabbed her arm and tried to spin her to face him but she refused. She quickly untangled herself from his grasp and continued down the hall without a noise.
"Lizzy," he hissed again, this time almost pleading as he grabbed for her again, but merely felt her skin slide out from under his as she rushed away. "Please just talk to me," he begged as he followed her down the hall.
Lizzy stopped and spun to face him. Without a moment's hesitation she slapped him solidly across the face. Will's neck turned to absorb the blow but his cheek still ached with the impact.
"Talk," she said sternly. "Please explain to my why you saw fucking another as the perfect outlet for your frustrations."
Will tried to fumble with his words, "I didn't- Lizzy! I just missed you."
Lizzy snorted. "You know most people, when the miss somebody, just write a letter."
"You weren't responding." Will threw his hands up. "I'd tried calling you so many times and you never answered. I tried E-mails. They fell on deaf ears. Lizzy I tried calling Eddie to see if he could get through to you and he couldn't either." Lizzy's face turned solid, no expression crossed her path as Will continued, much gentler than he'd first began. "I tried every form of communication in the known world, but you'd just kind of disappeared. So I freaked out. I figured you'd cut yourself off. That you were done with me. And there I am sitting in a bar, drunk as all get out, and this girl," Lizzy winced, "well I couldn't help but think it was over with us. 'Lizzy's moved on Will, and here you are still crying over her,' so I just kind of… let go."
Lizzy took a step away from him. "And now you really can," she whispered softly.
"What?" Will asked blankly.
"Now you really can let go."
"No Lizzy," Will tried to fill the gap between them. "I don't want to let go. This whole thing has only served as a reminder that it's you-"
"I can't do it Will. If you'd bothered to get the whole story- If you'd just waited it out." Her voice was small and timid; a description Will had never in his life used to describe Lizzy. "I can't be with someone who would just take any girl."
"But-"
"Will. I can't. Especially not now," she replied sadly as she wandered back toward her dorm's door to retreat into her safe-place.
"Why can't we just go back to being okay?" he asked. He tried not to sound pathetic, but it was hard for him not to panic as he watched her slip right through his fingers and his world melt around him. How could it all just end? In an instant Will could see everything he loved about his life walk right through a doorway and slowly edge her door closed.
Her eyes began to turn red and shiny and she tried not to be cliché. She promised she'd never let him see her cry. Stupid Lizzy. It's what you get for letting someone in.
"I just can't do it Will." She wanted with all her might to close that door. She tried but as it got closer to the latch it seemed to become heavier with every inch. "Maybe someday when I don't get sick at the mere thought of what you did. Maybe someday when I can know you loved me, despite it all. But for now, for now it just hurts too bad to pretend it doesn't."
"Please don't close this door." He was past trying to pretend he didn't hurt. He put his hand softly on the door and watched her shake her head as it finally clicked closed.
You didn't have to be a genius to know that there was nothing left to fight for.
Will had never meant to do it. He'd never meant to destroy the one girl that took so long just to open up.
She was difficult then. Now she was impossible.
He could always blame himself for that.
Will really didn't know why he couldn't sit still. He'd had no sugar, no excessive amounts of caffeine, no recent stocking of carbs and yet he was pacing around his office trying to settle his nerves.
It was because he had a tick. An itch he couldn't scratch.
Mostly though, it was because yesterday afternoon he kissed his fiancé goodbye as she boarded a plane for a two week business trip. Media frenzy over Brittany Spears' life story or something stupid.
What did this mean? That if Will wasn't staring into the face of his own responsibility then he could never live up to it? He'd made that mistake before.
"Hey you. Yeah you, ADHD," Georgie said as she came into his office and stared at him as he paced furiously across his office. "Been drinking Red Bulls again?"
Will stared at her for a second before he could even grasp that she was there. "Huh?" Where was his brain?
"Ok psycho. So I was coming in here to say that I'm leaving, but you're a bit… off so can I get you anything?" she asked as she eyed him with a very perplexed look.
"Er no. You should go."
She shrugged. "Fine then," she muttered as she turned, along with the quieter phrase, "Freaking psychopath."
Under normal circumstances Will would have made some comment of recognizing his sister's insult but her muttering fell on deaf ears because Will's brain had recently gone numb.
The other night he'd tasted again what had taken him so long to numb himself from, and now no other thought could penetrate his brain.
"You do know it's five fifteen," Georgie yelled back to him as she stood in the doorway having not yet left.
Will stopped and faced her with a blank look.
Georgie rolled her eyes and made an exasperated noise. "Oh don't even pretend. You've never missed her show." When he made no move, or even any sign that he'd understood what she'd said she went over and turned on his radio for him. She gave him one last look that mingled boredom and worry then left him in his office.
Lizzy Morgan's voice floated through his radio and his heart began a sweltering ache. After seeing her again, and being able to talk to her as if no time had passed, a tugging and aching had overcome him. He couldn't give in to temptation.
Was it the fact that he'd always love Lizzy? Or was it that he could never be with anyone without desire taking over?
He barely remembered the circumstances that had ever led him to cheating when he was younger, but he did feel now, that horrible hole that made everything in his entire life seem… inadequate.
All of a sudden he just wanted her. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't sleep. Eat. Speak. He couldn't think unless he knew he'd have her in his arms again.
What did he want: The girl or the distraction?
No matter what it was, as he heard her voice fill his brain he couldn't suppress the urges that gripped him. He wanted her to make fun of him again. He needed her to play with his hair while they lay together in his bed. He needed her to press her skin against his, if only for an instant.
He needed to be around her.
So Will turned off his radio, it couldn't fill the void anyway. He didn't bother to turn off his laptop or even pack it up. He just left every little piece of his work exactly where it was and wandered out of his office, then his building, then halfway across the city. All just to stare desire in the face.
He had an itch. Some people just can't resist the scratch.
Ok recently people have been telling me two major things: one, that there isn't enough interaction between Will and Lizzy, and two, that my chapters aren't long enough. The chapters are short on purpose. I figured that way I could update faster rather than making you wait a month and a half for the next chapter. My next story has longer chapters though but this one is shorter on purpose.
Now as for the interaction thing: I'm getting there. There will be plenty of interaction between Will and Lizzy, we're just not at that point yet. I mean Hell in LIzzy's Guide there were entire months that Will and Lizzy refused to even talk to each other. Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is that there will be interaction, starting in the next chapter (and there was some in this one).
Anyway. This chapter was kind of important. I think maybe there's something Lizzy has yet to confess... but we'll get there. The next few chapters take place in the same day so don't go thinking a ton of time will pass.
But I might need a break on how soon I can get my next chapter up. :/